A/N: Bored, so terribly bored. So I'm hopefully going to write something to get over this boredom! Yea that doesn't sound right… Anyway enjoy!
Summary: Ichigo goes for a walk and ends up in a place he shouldn't have. Past ShiroIchi. T. Oneshot, may do more.
Disclaimer: I don't own.
It's cold. The harsh wind relentlessly beating against my face as I made my way down the sidewalk. The grey sky taunting me with every step I took, laughing at every miserable failure I took upon myself to take the blame for. It refused to rain, refused to relish me in the one thing I wished for, the one thing that could possibly wash away the sorrow. The one thing that could drown everything I've ever felt. The clouds hang over my head for days, the dreary darkness of weather that absolutely denied everyone the satisfaction of glorious rain. Rain I have grown to hate, the rain that gave me the sick satisfaction of wanting to wash away the pain, the memory, of the blood on my hands. I look upon the sky wondering, hoping that the sky would give way, just this once. There doesn't seem to be any chance though as the sun slowly makes an appearance from behind a thick grey monster. Scowling, I pulled my hood up and continued my brisk walk towards the cemetery.
"This was all your fault," I spat out to the gravestone, "You should've stayed away." I finished, taking out a cigarette from the pack and lighting it. I leaned up against the gravestone, taking a long drag before effectively almost coughing up a lung. I threw the cigarette on the ground, stomping on it with disgust. Disgust at the cigarette and at my own stupidity. Why the hell did I come here anyway? Did I like rubbing it in my own face? Nice going Ichigo, what are you going to do next? Kill your sisters? That thought pained my heart and I sunk to the ground, my back now resting on the side of the gravestone.
"Why? Why didn't you stay away? You kept on insisting you loved me and now look where you are! You fucking idiot!" Sighing I continued, "Oh well, I guess it's partly my fault. I led you on, made you think I loved you back. All those sweet nothings you whispered in my ear, and I sat back blushing like some fucking horny school girl. Ha! I bet you thought I was some sweet little virgin! It's ok though, I guess. I keep asking myself why, why I killed you. That's not normal for someone who supposedly has no regrets doing it." I sighed again, shifting my weight to get comfortable. "You know, Shiro, you really did bring this on yourself."
Seeing as there was no other possible way to get comfortable, no matter how I shifted my weight, I stood dusting my pants off and began to walk away. I looked back at the grave and felt myself walking back. Leaning back on the balls of my feet, I dusted off the fine lettering.
Shirosaki Hichigo
July 15, 1984-August 26, 2011
Wings Are Useless
I remember the day Shiro wrote that poem. It was raining that day, the sky opened up allowing the earth to be drenched in a cold, unforgiving wetness. It created a melodic rhythm, one of regret, ruefulness. He woke up after a long nap, talking of inspiration and such. I faintly remember a stanza of the poem.
"You're so afraid. You can't fly with this broken wing. What kind of angel can you be? You listen to what is said. How you will never please your king…" Trailing off, forgetting the rest, or just not bothering to remember, I sat down my ankles getting sore. I looked back up at the sky, the sun disappearing once again, the rain still not gracing me with its wondrous presence. I want to feel the coolness of the droplets run down my face. The rains innocent morals to overshadow my dismal ones. Alas, the weather has other plans, for no rain falls. I put my head down, my once vibrant orange hair overshadowing my eyes. I think about Shirosaki. That retarded albino fool. I think about the night I killed him. The night I finally showed him how wrong he really was about his "Sweet lil Berry."
"Heh, I remember how pissed off I used to get at you for calling me that. Although I think Snowflake was a pretty good comeback." I said with a smirk. There it was again, that feeling of despair. I was the one that took your life. I shouldn't be feeling things like despair, agony.
"In all actuality Shiro, I guess… I guess I had a soft spot for you. That night… That night I took your life, that night I beat you, drugged you, shot you, I cried. I cried for hours and I couldn't understand why I cried!" I brought my hand to my face and withdrew it. Damn it, I was crying. "I cried so much I passed out, I woke up the next morning covered in your blood and I ended up puking. I don't understand why they haven't caught me. They should've caught me. I want them to. Shiro I want them to catch your killer. Let's face reality though, they don't care about you, and they don't care about me. Therefore I'll walk away and you'll stay here, sleeping for eternity, while I live out my days finally regretting everything I have ever done to you. Every lie I have ever told you." A father and, what I assumed, his child walked past dressed in all black. They looked so sad and pathetic. I chuckled; I'm one to talk, blubbering like an idiot, like you can actually hear me, Shiro.
"Are you happy?" I asked again getting up, it was getting late. "Are you happy I finally regret everything? That I finally cried over you? ... I am." With that I wiped my eyes and stretched until my back popped. Taking one last glance at the grave I began walking down the deserted sidewalk. The sun began to set, for the clouds were a darker grey than they originally were. The stale, humid air was even more frigid as I pulled my hood back up, sneaking one last glance at the cemetery gates. I looked up at the sky as a drop landed on my cheek. After taunting me, after years of regret;
It began to rain.
A/N: There! Done! I appreciate feedback, what do you think? Continue or no?