DISCLAIMER: The story and characters don't belong to me. They belong to SE Hinton. The song is "Believe" and belongs to Skillet, which is the BEST BAND EVER! I think you should go check them out. Because I said so, and they rock, and you should trust me on important matters like this. Seriously.
On with the fic!
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I'm still trying to figure out how to tell you I was wrong
I can't fill the emptiness inside since you've been gone.
He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't focus on anything. All that poured through his mind was the image of his hand making contact with his brother's face, his brother hitting the doorframe hard enough for an observer to wince.
Then his baby brother fled into the darkened streets, ignoring his desperate screams of remorse.
That had been three days ago.
So is it you, or is it me?
I know I said things that I didn't mean
But you should have known me by know,
You should've known me...
He'd always loved his youngest brother immensley, but had always assumed that he'd known that. Maybe he should have said it more, instead of yelling at him to get his homework done, or his chores, or to be home by curfew.
If you believed when I said I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all.
He picked up the newspaper, only glancing at the front page before letting it fall from his listless fingers. He couldn't bear to read anymore on that story about the Soc found dead in the park. The fuzz suspected Johnny, who had disappeared the same night as Pony.
It had to be a coincidence. There was no way his little brother would be involved in a murder. For that matter, there was no way that little Johnny could kill anyone in cold blood, Soc or not.
If you believed when I said that I wouldn't be thinking about you,
You thought you knew the truth but you're wrong.
How he wished he could take back his words, his actions, that one slap to his brother's otherwise-unblemished cheek! The gang now regarded him with a sense of distrust, something he didn't blame them for. Soda hadn't forgiven him for driving away their brother. Steve didn't appear concerned, although the rest of the guys could read the worry in his eyes. Two-Bit was quiet and somber, a rarity for him. And Dally... He knew something, but he wasn't giving any help. When asked by anyone, he just said the missing boys were in Texas.
Like hell.
He stared out at the night sky, wondering where his baby brother was. He hoped the little teen was warm and dry, and hopefully fed. Him and Johnny both. The not knowing, the grief, the regret... It was killing him.
Darry leant against the porch railings, looking at the stars. Was Pony staring at the same summer sky?
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe!
"I love you, Pone. Please come home. Please. I'm so sorry." Darry lowered his head, allowing a stray tear to escape his eyelids.
~*~
I can't undo the things that led us to this place
But I know there's something more to us then our mistakes.
He laid back against the cool grass, not heeding the chilly dew soaking his thin cotton shirt and jeans. Absently, he blew a puff of smoke at the stars, briefly obscuring their beauty.
He didn't notice, though. His thoughts dwelled on the events of only a few nights ago.
He wouldn't blame Darry if he hated him now. He hated himself. This was his fault, and he knew it.
So is it you, or is it me?
I know I'm so blind when we don't agree
But you should have known me by now,
You should've known me...
If only he had paid more attention to the time after that stupid movie! Then he would have gotten home on time, he and his brother wouldn't have fought, and he would never have been in the park with Johnny. Then that Soc would have still been alive.
And he would have been home, wrapped in layers of warm blankets and covered by Soda's arm, instead of being forced to huddle for warmth under Dally's borrowed leather jacket on the stone floor.
If you believed when I said I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all.
He wished he could undo the past and go back home. Back to the gang. Back to Soda. Even back to Darry's constant yelling. But he couldn't. To do that would risk Johnny's safety from the cops, and possibly angry Socs.
And Darry would never let him come home. Darry hated him. That cry after Pony had fled wasn't an apology, it was only said for Soda's benefit.
If you believed when I said that I wouldn't be thinking about you
You thought you knew the truth but you're wrong.
Pulling the too-large leather jacket close to him, Pony buried his tears in the thick lining, his cigarette abandoned on the dewy grass. He didn't want Johnny to see him crying. Thankfully the older boy was asleep, granting Pony the privacy he wanted.
He wondered if Darry would ever take him back. He had no doubts that Soda would welcome him home with open arms, but Darry...
A muffled sob wracked the teen's skinny body.
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe!
"I'm sorry, Darry. I'm really sorry." Pony gazed up at the cold stars, wondering if his brother was watching them as well, or if he had somehow heard the whispered apology.
'Cause you're all that I want
(Don't you even know me at all?)
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe!
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Shall attempt to finish the rest of my varied stories when I can. Darth Real Life is being a pain in the neck. *sigh*
Review! Thanks.
Xaja