Author: Acacia Flynn Mellark
Fandom: Hunger Games
Story Title: Safe and Sound
Summary: It must have been all too much. She wasn't able to hold up anymore. And she thought leaving me was the best way out…
Character/Relationships: Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen (sorta)
Rating: T
Warnings: Language a little but that's about it.
Story Wordcount:
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own the Hunger Games.
Notes: So this idea has been in my mind for a day and I couldn't get it out of my head. It's based off a criminal minds I watched with a friend a little. So, here it is! This is set after the first Hunger Games, but like 20 years later, where they had kids. No, they never went into the Hunger Games a second time. And Peeta is still in his right mind, along with Gale. So yeah thanks guys, please Review! Oh and no Beta this time, sorry!
It's been a week now. A week I haven't heard her laugh. Or seen her smile. Smelled her. The littlest things destroy me. I can't remove her from my home. I won't. I roll over in bed, and my arm hits the spot she should be sleeping in. Oh, it's that day. I get up, slowly, as if nothing had changed. I slip into the bathroom and her stuff is still spilled over it.
"You should clean this stuff up you know," I mutter to no one.
I will, I told you I would. But not now. Later, I swear, her voice rings in my head. I smirk a little at her annoyed tone.
"But that's what you said yesterday," I say faking annoyance of my own.
I had stuff to do yesterday, Peeta, you know that, she grumbles at me.
"I know, but I really need you too-"
"Daddy?" I'm interrupted by the small voice of my, our, daughter. Her hair is ruffled and falls in a disarray of black. Her face is tan, like her mothers, but her blue eyes stare up at me worried.
"Yes, Acacia?" I ask her with a forced smile.
"Why are you talking to yourself?" She asks. Oops, I'd slipped up.
"Oh, I don't know. Tired I guess," I lie easily. She shrugs, and walks into the bathroom slowly, lift her arms above her head. She was 11 now, 12 in 4 months and pretty big, but I didn't mind. I picked her up and set her onto my hip. She hadn't asked to be picked up in a while, not since she was 6, but after Saturday…I'll give her just about anything.
"Oh, ok. Is it today, Daddy?" My throat chokes up.
"Yes," I breathe. Her eyes well with tears, and I kiss her cheek lightly. "It's ok. Were ok. You're ok," I whisper over and over. She nods, and the tears dry up easily. I smile with her, hiding my own destruction. "Wanna go get, Bristol?" I ask her.
She only nods, and I walk out of the bathroom, her still resting on my hip, arms wrapped around my neck. I walk slowly into her little brother, Bristol's, room. I look at the painted walls, the huge painting of the forest I painted. Katniss wanted them. Her name sends pain into my heart.
I set Acacia down, walking over to Bristol's bed. His blonde hair is pressed to his forehead, buried into the pillows, curled against the wall. I remember when he slept in his crib, and he would press his pillows against the railing so he could curl up against them comfortably. He was so smart.
I gently rest my hand on his shoulder, his eyes instantly flashing open.
"Papa," He says in his sweet voice. I smile.
"Yes, Papa, very good. Who else?" I ask, just like we always did, do, in the morning.
"Sissa," He mumbles, rubbing his eyes. He sits up, saying he has to go to the bathroom. I pick him up, walking him into our bathroom. After a moment he comes back a big grin on his face. I remember Katniss with dance around with him, making us all laugh.
I don't do that.
Acacia pats him on the back and then turns back to her room. She understands today. He doesn't. I sit Bristol onto my bed, as I slip on black trousers and a black button up shirt. He watches me, not sure what he's to do. Once I have it on, I pick him up, standing him up on the bed. I pull his close, which were similar to mine, and slip him out of his PJ's. I 'accidently' tickle his sides and he screams out in laughter. I laugh too, but not as loud as I would, or as I should.
He smacks my hand away when I try to help him dress, saying he can do it himself. He slips his pants on, and then the shirt, but he's unable to hook the buttons. I quickly show him how, leaving 2 buttons undone for him to hook. He fixes then quickly, proud of himself, and I smile as best I can with him.
I knock on Acacia's door, asking if she was ready to go. She sticks her head out of the door, hair wet, towel around her chest.
"No not yet, give me a minute, Daddy," She says with a smile, closing the door again. I roll my eyes, smiling a little. I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a cheese bun for Bristol and I to share. He picks at it, he spit covering his fingers, but in the end he's eaten most of it. Acacia comes out; a form fitted, knee length, halter top dress. Her hair is braided, not the same way Katniss would, but looser, and not as perfect.
She looks older now, not like an almost 12 year old. How she holds her head and how she stands. The way her eyes watch us, she looks 17. She was tall naturally, and she had been, eh, filling out. But it still surprised me.
"Are you ready?" She asks us, her voice measured.
"Eat something first, you won't be able to eat there," I tell her. She nods, grabbing 2 slices of bread, putting a thin layer of butter on each one. We wait for her to finish, I help Bristol into his socks and shoes. He tries to tie the black leather shoes, and he does pretty well, but I still have to retie them.
I slip on mine, Bristol trying to tie my shoes, and succeeding fairly well. Acacia comes over, slipping on the inch high sandal heels. I watch her as she grumbles about having to wear heels, and I can't help but compare her to Katniss again.
She's my daughter, but has the same tone Katniss would get when she was annoyed. I pick up Bristol and open the door for Acacia. She steps out, pulling Katniss's leather jacket from its peg and slipping it on. I close the door leaving it unlocked, not caring if anyone stole anything.
Haymitch comes out of his home when he sees us. He was dressed in dark clothing like us, but he was clutching a bottle of liquor in his hand. He says nothing, and neither do I. Bristol realizes the dark tension over us all, staying quiet as well. Others give us sad glances. I ignore each of them.
You're going to be fine, you know that right? Her voice says returning. I nod. Stop mopping then. Acacia is a wreck and Bristol will be when he understands. Please Peeta. Her voice was overly pleading.
"Ok," I breathed. Silence. When we got there, I was forced to acknowledge everyone I didn't want to. Katniss's mother, who was much older now, and her blonde hair was turning grey, hugged me and Bristol. She looked at Acacia and burst into tears.
Prim, who was 26 now, came over with Rory in tow. They were cute and overly in love. A small girl was in Rory's arms and when he looked at her and Prim his eyes shown like mine when I looked at Katniss. They had stopped shining like that. Madge came over with Gale, there 8 year old son holding a small girl while Madge held her twin brother.
"Are you ok?" She asked me. I nodded, not trusting my voice. She hugged me and Gale rested a hand on my shoulder. His grey eyes were filled with a deep sadness. He really did love her.
Baggett came over, Aloe and there 16 year old daughter behind them. She looked annoyed with all the people, her blue eyes flashing around uncomfortably. Nickel and his wife and son came over, but said nothing, only stood there. My father and mother joined, and my mother looked sincere. And my young sister, Pepper, bounded over to Acacia, encasing her in a hug. So many children. So many mothers.
"Everyone please find your seats," Someone called. Pepper, Acacia, Haymitch, Prim and her family, Ms. Everdeen, Bristol, and I made our way to the front 3 rows. A capitol man was doing the ceremony, so it was much different than most. When we were silent and he started talking I started distracting Bristol who was on my lap. I didn't want him to understand this way. I blocked it all out. Bristol was quiet but played along with me. I say Cinna and Portia, eyes tired and worn, look over at me. I gave a small smile, but it faded quickly.
Its all a blur, not wanting to hear any of it, but needed to hear it. He must talk for a good 30 minutes, the dark mist around us making his words seem worse. But I guess they are. I hear the words I was waiting to hear.
"Now would her family come up and say some words in her honor."
Robotically, I stood, along with everyone in the first 3 rows, and Gale who was forced to sit farther back. We all line up in the order we decided yesterday. First would be her Mother, then Prim and Rory, then Gale, Haymitch, and then Acacia, Bristol, and I.
Her mother was in tears. Her words were hard to understand but I did catch a few things comparing her to her father. Prim was more collected but I think having Rory and her daughter was helpful. Her words were strong and filled with sadness.
"My sister was amazing. She was a skilled huntress and a great mother. I did, and still do look up to her. She was an inspiration, taking care of our family after our father died. She kept almost all of her promises, including the one to return from the Games.
"She did lie though, and didn't keep one promise to me. It was made years ago, and I can understand if she forgot it. But she broke her promise to help me raise my family in a way that would make her proud. So now I must do it alone, hoping to build up to her expectations. I hope she knows I miss her, and that I hope her and Dad are happily hunting together again." This wont be broadcasted, so she doesn't have to hide the fact that Katniss hunted. She was in tears by the end and Rory held onto her tightly as they went back to their seats. Gale stepped up, and as he looked into the casket he spoke, almost as if to her.
"Katniss was the best friend I could hope for. An amazing hunter. She was great company. A great life. I hope she could see how much we all cared for her. She always thought no one would notice she was gone, except for mine and her family. But she was wrong. Catnip-eh, Katniss was my first love. And will always be in my heart," He stepped away. Haymitch stepped forward.
"I told you," He said, looking straight into the wooden box, as if scolding her. "I told you, one piece of advice. Stay alive. You broke that advice. You promised you would try, and you gave up. The baker is a wreck, your children are broken. Are you proud? Are you?" He took a swig of liquor which explained his strange rant. He continued but he began to slur and I lost him. He moved away, actual tears falling in his eyes. Acacia stepped up, pulling a piece of paper out and opening it.
"I wrote a letter to put with her, so I'm just reading that," She said. People nod. I listened, having not heard this letter before.
"I hope you're proud," She began. "You did so much. Saved my aunt from the games. Returned after yours, with a husband in tow. Got nieces and nephews everywhere, and they all love you. You got me too. I'm I your reason? I was turning 12 in a few months couldn't take it anymore? Is it my fault you left Bristol to be raised my a beaten baker who won't be able to teach him to hunt? Are you happy that he and I won't have a mother? I now have to raise him, you know. Dad won't be able too, he loved you too much," Tears fell from her eyes now as she spoke. "I thought the mighty Katniss Everdeen Mellark was stronger than this. Stronger than a stupid rope. And stupid possibilities. I thought wrong apparently, seeing you have stopped fighting. That you have left me alone here. Did you not think I would miss you? Because I do. I do oh so much. I need you!" She yelled. "I still need you! But no, you didn't need anyone.
"You are a selfish person. Selfish because you took yourself from me, without asking. But you didn't ask Dad either, I guess. No one knew, except you. Did you suffer? How long? After that rant you probably think I hate you." She paused. "I don't. I swear. I love you with more heart and soul than anything. But I guess my question, is if you still love me." She folded the note again, walked down to the casket and put the letter in carefully. I stepped up, Bristol clutching onto my shirt.
"Bristol you go first," I whisper. I told him yesterday what to say. I look into the casket, and my heart shatters.
Her skin was pale. Blush was the only color on her, beside a little lip gloss they must have given her. Her eyes were closed, her grey eyes that had the same look as ice frozen over a puddle in the cobble stone, grey water still swirling underneath. Now they would be foggy, a pale grey on white. Her hands rested on her stomach, the note in them. She was dressed in normal clothing. Her favorite shirt, which was really mine but she had stolen it, and dark jeans. Her throat still showed where the rope had held her up.
"I miss you, Momma," Bristol says looking at it too. He pressed his 3 middle fingers to his lips then held them out to her. I held back my sobs. Everyone mimicked him too, and I kissed his cheek. His eyes were brimming with tears.
"I guess it's my turn," I mumbled. "Everyone has said amazing things of my wife. I am grateful for that. All were true, even Acacia's accusation of being selfish. She was always selfish. Taking the last of supper, or stealing the kids to tuck them in," I smile at the fond memory. "Stubborn too. She would promise to do something but if you asked her about it, she would purposefully take longer to do it," I few people laugh. The thick mist lets up. "I don't know really what I'm feeling now. I mean, I guess I go back to every memory of her I have. Spend moments with her when no one is looking. I talk to her still, seeing things she forgot to do. Like clean off the bathroom counter. Or take out the trash. I think back to the memories of last month looking for her reason. I can't find it. I wonder if it is I who caused it. I hope not. I don't want to have done that.
"But I still love her. It will never change. I will remember her as my blushing bride, who stumbled and forgot some of her vows," Laughs from people who remember our wedding. "The woman who gave me 2 beautiful children who I will raise in a way to make her proud. The woman who I gave my heart, and who still holds it at this moment," I refer to her wedding ring which the stone has been carved into the shape of a heart. "And more importantly, the woman who made the birds go silent when she sang." I reached into my pocket and pulled out her golden mockingjay pin. I walk to her casket, and set Bristol down. I gently hook the pin onto her shirt and run my hand over her face again. Her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, placing them in memory. And then quickly I place a kiss onto her lips once more. I pick Bristol up again before becoming attached to her body again like the say they found her, and had to knock me out before they could take her away again.
Friends then went up, but I didn't hear them. The rest was a flurry of images. They closed the casket. Haymitch, Gale, Cinna, and I carried it over to the whole it would rest in. I out the first 5 shovelfuls in, and then the rest was added by others. People tried to speech to me, but I said nothing. It ended soon after it was covered. I sat next to her grave.
People left. I lie down, head resting on the soft dirt, my fingers digging into the soft ground. If anyone noticed me they said nothing as I sobbed into the dirt. The sobs that had been held back earlier were released in loud harsh sounds. I must have cried for hours, but when I was finally silent, the sun was out again. I had to pull myself from the dirt and limp home. When I got there, Bristol was on the couch, sitting next to Acacia who had changed into one of my shirts and fallen asleep. I picked her up again, and tucked her into her head. Kissed her forehead.
"Daddy?" Bristol said when I sat next to him. "Where momma?"
It was the question I had yet to answer. I thought quickly and then mumbled to him.
"With Truffle," I was talking about the old cat that we had taken in the year he was born. He died 2 years back, old age.
"Why?" He asked.
"She was tired of worrying and she missed her daddy, so she went there to see him again," I explained.
"Will I see her again?"
"Most likely, but not for many years."
"Oh," We're silent.
"Daddy?" He said again yawning and curling onto my lap.
"Yes?"
"Momma's safe now, right?" He asked his eyes drooping. My words, for once, almost caught in my throat.
"Yes, Momma's safe again."
