Being alone isn't the worst thing there is. No, it's how you end up alone. Most people distance themselves from society to be free of indiscrimination and lies. Others, are alone because of a heat break or any emotional pain one might undergo. Me? Heartbreak and betrayal. My wife Haruno Sakura she- she cheated on me with my former best friend Uchiha Sasuke. We were married for 8 years. 8 years I stayed loyal and we were expecting kids. Twins to be exact. And she threw it all away as soon as I brought back that damn traitor back to Konoha. After 1 year I catch her fucking the Uchiha, in my house no less. When we made eye contact I remember her face going pale, and her look of pure ecstasy replaced with a look of terror. Sasuke didn't look any different then what he usually does. She tried to stop me as I walked out the door but I payed her no mind. I left quickly and went to the nearest hotel to check in. The clerk look surprised to see me here of all places but again, I payed it no mind.
I haven't heard from her in a long time. It's been 3 months and I've never saw her and she never bothered to seek me out. Her friend Ino Yamanaka told me she mostly stayed at the Uchiha compound. She said it with so much venom towards Sakura it somewhat surprised me. She apologized to me as did all my other friends, I gave my signature fake smile and waved it off.
But, right now mulling over my thought, I'm sure they too could see through my mask of happiness. I asked for a 3 year leave from the village from Tsunade and she granted it with out a second thought. She really has helped me, the mother I never had. I bid my friends a good bye and left the village soon after. During that same week I received a letter from the Hokage informing me that Sakura was expecting to give birth in 3 days. I tossed the letter as soon as I finished reading it and never returned. The following week I revived one more letter from the Hokage. She wasn't mad as I expected her to be. It was a short letter to be honest. 'I know why you didn't come..' I know why I didn't come as well and was glad Tsunade now saw why. They weren't my kids. Any guess on who's kids they are? Skipping past that I returned after 3 years and after checking into the same hotel I did on 'that' night I drifted to sleep. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. Especially into detail like this.I guess it's easier to talk to someone about my problems with someone that just bottling it up. I've talked to Tsunade about it and she gave me good advice and told me to move on. And trust me I've tried. I really have. During my trip I've tried countless of times to get my mind off her. I've gone to bars, brothels anything but every time she always finds her way back into my head. I've told myself I don't care for her anymore. I know I'm just lying to myself. I remember every little thing about that night down to the nail. For someone who doesn't care anymore should have remembered all that. Maybe it scared me? Probably.
I felt water slide down my cheek and it finally registered that I was crying again. I gave out a dead chuckle and fell back onto the cheap hotel mattress.
I hate it...I hate it so much. The pain.. the fucking pain. Why did she do this to me! I've done everything I could to make her happy. And in return she made me a mess of a man. I hate it all. I hate her I hate Sasuke, I hate it all! I know I don't hate her...I love her, I love her so fucking much it hurts to lay here while she has two kids who don't even belong to me. I always wanted to be a father and she knew that, guess she didn't care. I looked down at my red liquid dripping down my wrists as I gave another dead chuckle. I felt the color drain from my face,wondering if I ever made her happy at all. Maybe I did and some points, but not them all. Is that why she left? Is there anything I could have don't differently? Funny how I'm mere minutes away from death and I'm starting to second guess myself./p
At least the pain will go away