Love Just Wasn't Part Of The Game

By Lissa Mahon

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the story, so please don't sue me. Besides I own nothing of importance so you'd be wasting your time anyway.

I don't own the song Valse Triste either. That was actually written by Sibelius (my music teacher will be glad to know that i've been paying attention)

Rating: PG??? (I hate ratings)

Spoilers: "Blah Blah Woof Woof"

Author's Note:: Okay. This is not my best work, in fact I'm pretty sure it sucks, but this is what you get when you read Shakespeare on a snow day (LOL) so please bear with it. The thoughts in // are thoughts from that day the other thoughts are just comments on what happened that day. Remember, the dream scene is just that -a dream- this is their sub-conscious minds, not them. This is going to be a kind of prequel to "Just Acting" this is what happened instead of "Blah Blah Woof Woof"

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Max's POV

It was 9:00 and I was at Logan's apartment waiting restlessly waiting for him to move one of the chess pieces. We were on our sixth game and I had won the past four. Logan moved a pawn and suddenly, I was on my way to winning yet another game. Two minutes later, he brought his hand up to his face in disbelief of the defeat.

There was something up about him. Something that wasn't right or bothering him. I couldn't put my finger on it.

I wish I had asked him. Maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

"Isn't there some superhero code that prevents you from taking advantage of we mere mortals?" he asked.

"Nope," I said shaking my head, "and I'm not done taking advantage yet either."

Logan raised an eyebrow.

/And what is that supposed to mean???/ I wondered.

"There's a stunt contest tonight. I was thinking of pulling a linda blair,

ya know riding my bike up on the ceiling or something," I said pausing a moment before looking at him at saying,

"You wanna come?"

He shook his head.

/Damn it. Every time I try to get him out of this place and out into the real world he refuses to come. Maybe I shouldn't even bother./

"Oh yeah. I forgot. 'No fun for Logan Cale. World coming to an end. Fight the power, protect the downtrodden," I told him.

"Blah blah woof woof. I'm outta here."

And that was the end of our little rendezvous as I left. I wish I had stayed just a few moments longer. Things would have been different if I had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan's POV

So there I was. Waiting for the doctor to come back. I had a bad feeling about what he was gonna tell me. I hadn't been feeling well for a long time. My thoughts were interrupted by the doctor reentering the room. The look on his face said it all.

"Here same let me start you off: 'Logan, I've got some bad news.'"

He turned and looked at me. His countenance saying everything that I was thinking. This couldn't be good news

"You remember after the shooting that we decided not to remove that one bullet fragment lodged in your spine."

I nodded. "Would have been too risky."

"Well, the bullet has migrated north and that's what's causing the spasms in your back. If we don't remove it, it will cause further damage.

There's always the chance of a slip up in the O.R."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

"Worst case scenario?"

"You could end up quadriplegic. Even on a respirator."

/Great. Just what I need. I could end up not being able to move my arms or legs or even breath on my own. Yet another thing to make Max want to leave./

I looked up and said, "Looks like I'm going under the knife again."

"I won't lie to you. Surgery in that area is extremely risky. You've got three major arteries there, so there's always the chance of bleed out.

Plus, the removal of the fragment may cause permanent nerve damage. Although the consequences aren't as bad as what will happen if you don't undergo the surgery

and the bullet continues to migrate."

It didn't take me long to make a decision. This was something I was going to have to do and no matter the result of it, I was going to have to overcome whatever would happen next.

I turned my head to look at the doc and said, "Let's do it."

"Okay then. I schedule you for tomorrow morning."

And that was it. The next day was going to decide how I would spend the rest of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yet another day goes by...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max's POV

Even after our little argument, Logan was still looking for my sibs. He had called me earlier to tell me that a guy matching Zack's description was somewhere in Seattle.

I got to his apartment and knocked on his door. I waited about five minutes figuring it was just taking him awhile to get there cause of the wheelchair and all.

When he didn't answer the door after that, I decided to open it myself. It's funny how all of those useless Manticore things can come in handy some times.

"Logan," I called figuring he'd be at his precious computer. I walked around his apartment until I reached the kitchen,

"Oh my god," I almost screamed; Logan sat there slumped over the table: completely unconscious.

It was like someone had stabbed a knife through my chest. I rushed over to him wishing that I had stayed the night before, wishing I had asked him what was wrong.

And then, the next thing I knew we were at a hospital and like a thousand doctors we asking me what had happened.

And then, in a flash of bright white lights, he was in the operating room. For the first time in my life, I had absolutely no control over what was going on and it scared me.

It could hear the doctors shouting back and forth to one another.

"He's must be bleeding from somewhere."

I couldn't stand there and watch, so I decided to call Bling.

"Bling," I said. He must have detected some hint of worry in my voice.

"Max? Is that you? What's wrong?"

"Logan collapsed this morning. We're at the hospital," I paused for a long time before I worked up the courage to say anything else, "They're operating on him now,"

And then I hung up. Something happened then that I hadn't done for a long time. I started to cry. Two tears rolled down my face and I wiped them away quick before anyone could notice.

When I went back to see him, they told me that he'd been taken to an ICU.

I stood outside the door and listened to the doctors talk.

I saw Logan there, lying so helplessly. He looked so frail and lifeless.

How does that saying go? 'You don't know what you had until you lose it' I get that now.

"BP is dropping."

"Give him some morphine. Keep him comfortable."

They must have thought I was stupid or something. I remembered what morphine was from a Manticore course. They gave that to patients to relieve severe pain and only when all other drugs failed.

When I thought of how much pain he must have been in for the past few days, another tear streamed down my face.

/I can't lose him./

I couldn't take it any longer. I had to find out.

"Is he dying?" I asked. I couldn't take my eyes off of Logan, his body lying there so limp.

"I can't tell you that in here," he said.

/Damn those doctors./

I couldn't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes.

"Just tell me," I nearly sobbed, "Is he dying?"

The doctor proceeded to tell me that he'd lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion that they didn't have.

He told me to take a few minutes and say good-bye. I sat down next to his bed. God, it scared the hell out of me to see him like that. There was no way I would let him die.

So I gave him the transfusion. Lucky for him, Manticore thought it would be handy for their genetically engineered killing machines to be able to swap blood in a pinch.

As the blood flowed into him, I felt a strange connection. A bond that I could never break. And then, maybe from loss of blood or because of some mysterious link, I laid my head on Logan's chest and fell asleep more content there, so close to him, than I had been in a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DREAM SCENE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of a sudden, Max found herself surrounded by a dazzling room of gold. The walls themselves seemed to twinkle like that the stars that were supposedly above the smoggy Seattle sky. Max looked around the room. And there, in the heart the room, was Logan. He looked different. His blue eyes sparkling like they never had before. Max couldn't help herself, she had to know if this was real or not.

"Dance with me," she called to him.

Up until then, Logan had been questioning whether or not it was a dream or not, and when he saw Max standing in front of him in that gorgeous white gown, he was pretty sure it was all in his imagination.

"I can't," he told her.

/This must be real, but just in case.../

"Yes you can, mind over matter."

"My problem is I can't walk."

/Geez, he's as dense in his dreams as he is in reality./

"I'm not asking you to walk. I'm asking you to dance."

/Well, if it's a dream then I guess I could..../

"Who's dream is this anyway?" he wondered aloud.

And with that, Logan pushed away the wheelchair and walked over to Max. To her surprise, he was actually taller than she. Their hands folded together and Logan wrapped his arm around Max's waist while she placed her hand on his shoulder. They began to waltz around the enchanted room to the tune of Jean Sibelius' Valse Triste while gazing into each other's eyes.

"You okay?" Logan whispered to Max.

"Yeah," she replied equally as soft, "just a little dizzy."

"Do you wanna stop?"

"No." .

/I hope this never ends./

"No, don't let go," Max said gazing up into the cerulean eyes above her.

"I won't," Logan assured her.

"Promise?" Max asked him.

"I promise," he replied huskily.

Meanwhile, back in the hospital, Max was just starting to wake up as she murmured,

"Don't leave me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HOSPITAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max's POV

After about ten to fifteen minutes, I woke up -and it was a good thing too-. I only had a few seconds later left before the doctor returned. I hastily ended the transfusion before the doctor came in. I didn't even have a spare moment to think about the dream I had had.

"All done?" he asked.

There was no way that I was leaving that hospital without knowing if he was going to at least live.

"Could I have a little while longer, please?" I asked him trying to sound as polite as I could at a time like that.

He nodded and left the room. As soon as he was gone, I glanced at Logan's blood pressure reading, it was up. That was a good sign, but it still didn't tell me if he was going to be okay or not.

I sat in the chair again and took his hand in mine.

"If you die on me Logan, I'll kick your ass," I said under my breath to no one in particular.

Then, I grew somber and whispered to him,

"Plese don't leave me. I need you."

I began stroking his dirty-blond hair until I heard someone whisper,

"Max? Is that you?"

Maybe there is a God after all.

Logan's POV

I thought I hears Max's voice, only it couldn't have been. The voice I heard was soft and the person sounded like they were sobbing.

/No, it couldn't have been Max./ I thought.

/I must still be dreaming./

Then again, things *were* blurry.

/It can't hurt to say anything./

"Max?" I asked softly.

"Is that you?"

"Mhmmm," she said

I couldn't understand what was going on. Then, all the memories of earlier that day came back. The pain. The dizziness. Everything going black. The dream. Dancing with Max, barely able to breath.

And suddenly things came back into focus and there she was right above my head. I could feel her playing with my hair. It looked like she had been crying, but I knew better than that. Max doesn't cry over anything.

"Hey," she said, a rare genuine smile on her face.

"What happened?" I asked still a little unsure of how I had ended up where I was.

She seemed to start to say something, but snapped herself back,

"You almost died Logan."

I closed my eyes and let the shock sink in for a moment, but that's all the time I have, because my doctor came into the room for a moment and told Max she would have to leave. She whispered goodbye to me as she picked up her jacket. Before she left, she leaned over and gently kissed my lips. And then she was gone. I guess some things will never change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LATER AT MAX'S APARTMENT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max's POV

I spent the next few days trying to figure out what my feelings were and what the meant. What I found out was unexpected, but what I did was worse.

I came to the conclusion that I was made to be a stolid soldier. I couldn't have emotions like that for someone. It just wasn't who I was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LOGAN'S APARTMENT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day after Logan got home I decided to visit him. One look at his face and I was about to give everything away. But I kept control and told him what I had planned.

"Hey," I started.

"Hey."

"Umm...Logan," I said as he looked up at me. I tried my best to avoid looking into his deep blue eyes. I could've easily gotten lost in them. Instead, I looked down at the floor and said,

"About that kiss...I was really impulsive at the time and I had just been so worried that..."

"I totally understand," he said, "we're not like that."

"Exactly. Great I'm glad we talked. I gotta run."

And with that, I began putting on my jacket. Somehow, I started humming that song. The song from the dream.

"That's the song from..." Logan started.

My head bolted up. "From where?"

"Nevermind."

It scared me to think that Logan knew the song. What if he had had the same dream. It was too weird to think about. And so, I left. Like I said before, love just wasn't part of the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, Okay, I know this wasn't the best, but please let me know what I can fix about it. Also, all dark angel fans go to: www.cbs.com/specials/pca/vote.shtml and vote for Dark Angel as the favorite new drama series. Thanx. ~Lissa.