They were the four most beautiful words I'd ever heard.
"But I love you..."
It was crazy how that made me want to change my mind and not be angry with him. I always wondered how someone that was so extraordinary could fall in love with someone as average as I am. I was no one special. Then I remembered how mad I was at him and suddenly his apology meant nothing.
It didn't matter. He didn't matter. Because here he was playing that same game. The one that I kept telling him I didn't want to be a part of. He made me insecure, he brought out the vulnerable side. I spun around.
"Really? Then tell her! Tell her that you love me and only me. To go away," I cried out. He was the only one who saw this side of me. Everyone else thought I was nice. They all thought I was always this happy bubbly girl, and most of the time, I tried to be, but in front of Nick… It's always been so different with him and I just knew it could come off. I didn't have to act around him. He saw what I monster I really was.
"Is that what you want? Because I will, you know that I will, Miley," he held my hands gently.
I stared at him quietly, not saying anything. He stared right back, his eyes begging me to answer him. I was being selfish and a bitch by telling him who he could and couldn't have as friends, but this girl was in love with him. Everyone saw it, hell, even Noah saw it and she was nine and oblivious to anyone but herself.
"Nick, I have the – oh," she stuttered, obviously surprised to see me. "Hi, Miley."
"Hello, Selena," I forced a smile.
I had no enemies my entire life… then I met her.
"I thought you said we were gonna hang out alone, Nicky," Selena went closer to him, genuinely confused. Fucking bitch. That slut better get her hands off of my boyfriend.
"Well, then Miley stepped by."
"But, I don't want her here," she bit her lip. "I kinda wanted it to be just me and you."
He was a sweetheart. He looked up at me and I could tell that he didn't want to do it, but he was going to. For me.
"It's fine, I'll leave," I forced a smile, going over to give him a hug. I wouldn't make him do that. I couldn't. But I still whispered the words in his ears as my arms were wrapped around his muscular body. "Don't make me regret this."
"I love you," he repeated. "I love you so much, Miley Ray."
Yet, I still regretted it.
:::
"You know, it's funny," Selena mused. "I still remember the day you two were going out and he looked me right in the eye one day and said 'it will always be Miley. The one I marry someday? I know she's the one I love the most,'" Selena laughed a little. "It's crazy how that happens, huh? We used to hate each other."
Yeah, I remembered.
"Yeah, crazy, huh?"
"I would've never imagined it like this," she sighed happily and I just pretended to be happy too. But I wasn't. Not in the least.
"Mi, you busy?"
I turned to see Joe there and grinned, running up and wrapping my hands around his neck. "Hey!"
"Hi, you. Hey, Sel. Nick's over there if you want," he offered. She didn't have to be told twice as she walked away. Joe looked back down at me, giving a concerned look. "I really didn't expect to see you here."
"And why exactly not? Nick's my best-friend!" I lightly shoved him, laughing. "I didn't expect to see you here. You haven't been around much."
"I lied. I did expect to see you here, I just knew you shouldn't come," he chuckled a little. "Figured you'd need someone."
"Why?" I laughed, shaking my head. I didn't need anyone.
He gave me a sympathetic look that said I didn't understand something. But I understood perfectly fine. "He's marrying her, Miley."
I knew that. We were at the wedding rehearsal now, I'd be stupid not to know that he didn't love me anymore.
"You were glaring at her like there was no tomorrow," he told me softly.
I blushed, wincing and looking over at Selena. "Really?"
"It's fine, she didn't notice," he assured me. "But, really, Miley. This is your last chance to tell him. Are you really gonna miss it?"
"It's just not that important!" I assured. "I understand, it's not like I can't move on."
"Speak of the devil," Joe murmured.
I turned and there he was, walking towards the two of us. I hadn't talked to him in awhile as it seemed like the closer the wedding got the harder keeping the boundaries of only being friends became.
"Hey, guys," he smiled, looking between us.
"Miley has something to tell you!" Joe tattled, giving me a little shove. I looked back up at him, scared, but he just nodded me on.
"Yeah?"
"I…"
This wasn't right. It wasn't fair.
"I'm happy for you and Selena."
He laughed a little at me, those brown eyes twinkling. "Thanks?"
"You're welcome," I nodded, awkwardly starting to walk away before I turned back around. "That's not what I wanted to tell you."
He hadn't even moved. He smirked a bit, stepping closer. "I figured."
Joe was gone by now, trusting me to confess the truth. I sighed. This was it. I'd tell him.
"Yeah."
"What is it, Miley Ray?" he chuckled a little. "There's no need to be nervous, it's just me."
Right. About that…
"I don't want you to marry her."
There it was. The truth. It was out and there was no taking it back. Hell, I didn't want to take it back.
"Huh?"
I stared at him for awhile before I gulped.
"Nick, you can't marry her."
"Why not?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I couldn't give him a good enough reason considering I didn't have one. "She's your best-friend, why not?"
Was she really my best-friend, though? Or did I just become friends with her because that's who I was? A people pleaser.
"Never mind," I smiled, walking away before he could protest. I went back up the stairs, back up to Joe, shaking my head. "I can't tell him, you know that."
His face fell. "But he deserves to know-"
"He deserves to be happy, not to mention Selena is my best friend," I grinned, hugging Joe and starting to dance with him as I looked back down to his brother who was now with his bride-to-be. "They are, Joey. They're really happy."
"And you?"
"And I'm gonna go find Demi, I haven't spoken to her in awhile," I led us back to the tables and he pulled me back for a second, giving me that look.
"Miley…"
"I'm fine, I promise," I kissed his cheek, grinning. "Thank you. For everything."
"I really wish you would tell him."
I shrugged. "I can't. Not when he's finally getting his dream. Now, you go find a pretty girl to dance with. I'm sure she'd love you."
He sighed, defeated. "You're a sweet girl, Mi. You deserve the best."
"Yeah, but sometimes you just have to settle for second in life. It's okay. I don't really mind."
"I'll see you later. Find me after this whole thing and we'll go get some ice-cream."
I nodded, walking away. I was only talking to Demi for twenty minutes when there was another tap on my shoulder. Nick was there, furrowing his eyebrows and reminding me of his brother. He looked past me to Demi. "Can I steal her?"
"Of course," she nodded.
"C'mon," he whispered softly, grabbing my hand and pulling me away.
He stopped us after awhile just staring at me.
I smiled at him, though all I wanted to do was frown. This was it. He really was getting married, it wasn't me and Nick anymore. He moved on. I never thought he'd really move on…
"Miley," he said my name like it was a song. He caressed it and held it tightly. He closed his eyes. "Oh, Mile."
"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.
He opened his eyes and there was pain. There was so much pain that it was unbearable to look at. So I looked away.
Then, he asked. "Is it true?"
I snapped my head up. "What?"
"Are you in love with me?"
It was instinct to lie as I shook my head. "Nick, you know me-"
"Please," he grabbed my cheeks, holding me tightly. "Please, just answer the question."
He really didn't want to know the answer.
"Who told you that?"
"It's true, isn't it?"
"No," I told him, staring right into his eyes as I lied. "I couldn't keep a secret like that. I'm happy for you."
"But it's true," he shook his head. "You're lying, aren't you? Are you even happy anymore?"
"It gets harder as you grow up, we all know that. I'm still me, though," I kept smiling, my eyes still having that spark in them, but this time it was from the tears that were threatening to fall.
"Why wouldn't you tell me?"
Because you love her.
"Why wouldn't anyone tell me?"
Because you love her.
He groaned, shaking his head. "Why couldn't I notice?"
Because you love her.
But I never really answered any of those questions. I just stared at him, letting himself answer all of them. The truth was, everyone was scared if they told him that it wouldn't change anything and he'd still marry Selena. At least that's what I was worried about..
"I'm getting married," he told me dejectedly. That wasn't how this was supposed to be, he's supposed to be happy about that!
"And I want you to!" I protested. "I do love you, I always have, but it's okay! I'm gonna be fine, I always have been!" I paused. "Look, it's been months since we've even had a real conversation. You have your life and you're obviously loving it. You love her, and that's okay. It's nothing personal, we just didn't work out. Face it, we're hardly even friends anymore. We don't even talk. I don't even know who I'm in love with anymore. So go, marry her, you deserve to be happy!"
"But you do too," he protested, his voice strained, trying to hold in the pain."I said I'd always pick you and now… Now I'm here."
"It's okay. Things change, no one stays twelve or thirteen or seventeen or even eighteen forever. We were bound to grow up sometime."
"But you love me."
"It's fine," I promised. He nodded, looking away back at the people behind me. Nothing good came out of this. "But, can you answer just one question?"
He perked his head up and I knew I could've asked him anything I wanted to. But only one particular question had been burning through my mind for the past three years as he grew closer with Selena.
"Did you ever love me too?" I whispered hoarsely. That's the only thing I really needed to know now.
"Of course I did," he stroked my cheek, going down and kissing the top of my head gently. "I still do love you, Miley. That's why… It's just too late."
There were tears in his eyes too.
"I love you, but…"
They were the four most tragic words I'd ever heard.
Just a little something I wrote earlier in the week based off this quote I saw on tumblr! Tell me what you think?