A/N: Hello, dear readers :) Love it or hate it, "Snakes on a Boat" made me laugh a few times. And it inspired me to write this, based on Zack's reply to Cody in the Aqua Lounge "I'm writing a thank-you card to Mr. Moseby. What rhymes with buttocks?"
Disclaimer: The Suite Life characters belong to Disney.
Ode to Mr. Moseby
ODE TO MR. MOSEBY
By Zack Martin
...
When Cody and I moved to your hotel
We made your life a living hell
Playing constant pranks, being pests
Annoying you and torturing guests
...
Not gonna lie, I got on your nerves
Probably more than one man deserves
But through it all we had good fun
I never regretted moving to Boston
...
Along came the day we finally connected
As Multack and Jango, way unexpected
We formed an alliance, slayed dragons and orcs
Went to Gamers Anonymous with other dorks
...
After that you left for this fancy boat
Guess you didn't miss us since you never wrote
But thanks to a discount our mom could afford
We followed you here, and you jumped overboard
...
So began life at Seven Seas High
A new place for pranking, I couldn't deny
I broke the ship's anchor, filled the hot tub with eels
Made passengers slip on banana peels
...
Still you got me a job at Easy Squeezy
Which taught me some responsibility
And slowly, surely things did change
As you and I became less estranged
...
When Ashton said I stole Violet's jewel
You knew I'd never be so cruel
While I stood shaking like a leaf
You told those snobs I'm not a thief
...
And when Blanket handcuffed me to you
I had no clue what we would do
Imagine us understanding each other
I'd rather be handcuffed to my brother!
...
But somehow through the course of the day
Blanket's method worked, what can I say?
I learned your life is full of strain
And you learned mine is much the same
...
And then I helped you win your gal
What a boost for your morale!
Now you won't grow old alone
Ms. T won't die an old cat crone
...
Yesterday would've been my last
If you hadn't stepped up to the task
A poisonous snake had bitten my bum
The pain was bad, my legs were numb
...
Though I'm not as sexy as Ms. Tut
You sucked the venom from my butt
Proving that you're truly a friend
The kind that lasts until the end
...
So thank you Moseby for saving my ass
Sorry if that sounds too crass
You're a hero, a man who rocks
(Hey that kinda rhymes with buttocks)
...
Don't know yet if I'll graduate
My future's still up for debate
If I don't, then I'll be back
See you next year Moseby,
Your pal Zack
Marion Moseby folded the sheet of scribbly, pudding-stained paper in half, folded it again, and tucked it into his overnight bag on the floor beside Emma Tutweiller's bed. He propped himself up on one elbow.
"Emma?"
She rolled to face him. "Mmmm?" The sight of her glowing cheeks, the creaminess of her skin, her flame-coloured hair shining on the pillow stole his breath and stilled his tongue.
Was there a luckier man on the ship than he?
He thought not.
"What is it, Marion?" she asked. How thrillingly masculine she made his name sound.
He shot a glance around the cabin. It smelled so much better since she'd given away most of her cats to feline-loving families while they were docked in New York a couple of weeks ago. The two of them had spent all of last weekend cleaning and Swiffering her cabin—why, there was even cat hair on the ceiling! Thank goodness no snakes had slithered in and eaten any of the four cats she'd kept, who were presently slumbering in their respective baskets.
"Just out of curiosity..." he began, manufacturing his most nonchalant tone, the one he used when negotiating for a raise. "Where do you keep the answers for all the final exams?"
"In the second drawer of my cabinet," she replied. Her forehead crinkled slightly. "Why?"
Marion shrugged with matching nonchalance. "Just making pillow talk," he said. He reached for her then, pulled her close to him, feeling her bare legs slide between his. "Now come here and have some more of that hot chocolate."
Emma let out a sweet, girlish giggle. "Oh, Marion..."
A/N: Was Zack a poet all these seasons and he didn't know it? :P As always, thanks for reading; reviewers get a cup of cyber tea and for anyone who needs one this rainy stormy weekend, a virtual umbrella. Xoxoxo – Ellie