Authors Note: This takes place after the sixth book, and just like many other fanfictions coming out, it will be about Max and Fang being reunited. This is just one of my many theories on how it could happen. I could write them all out, but there will be plenty more circulating through the fanbase that I'm SURE you'd rather read, so this'll probably be it on the subject for me. It's going to be far overdone soon anyway . . .
Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride . . . If I did, there would be no need for this oneshot.
Love Doesn't Mean a Thing
Pain; mental or emotional suffering or torment.
Synonyms being; torture, misery, torment, ache, agony, anguish, pang, twinge, stitch, afflict, trouble, and grieve.
My definition of the word 'pain' was a little different. It went something more like; my stupid ass ex-boyfriend dumped me through a letter that ripped out my insides and spewed them on the ground, right before he left for all eternity, insisting that we never try to find him because he didn't want to see me in case it was too hard for him to handle.
Synonyms being; . . . him.
God, even now, almost two years later I couldn't bring myself to even think his name, let alone say it aloud. At some point, you'd think my heart would just patch itself up and resume as normal . . . Apparently, it had other ideas more akin to suffering for the rest of my life in silent misery. Sounds fun, right?
"Max is thinking emo thoughts again," I heard Angel whisper on the other side of my door.
"Look, we all miss . . . him, a lot too. And it's not like I don't totally understand why she would be upset . . . but still? It's been years. She really needs to get a firm hold on herself. It's time to move on, don't you think?"
That was Nudge, always using more words than was actually needed.
I was so weak I couldn't even get up, barge over to them, and demand to know what their problem was. Just because I shied away from most human contact, didn't mean I was deaf!
Really, what I was so mad about was the fact that they were right. I did need to get ahold of my self, if not for pleasing myself, but for them. They had fared pretty well for themselves the past two years, but it really was past time for me to take charge once more.
Too bad it sounds easier than it actually is.
Two years later . . .
I loved flying.
I mean, I really did. The way the wind whipped past you so incredibly fast, practically ripping out your hair in the process. The way being up so high made you feel; exhilarated and utterly content to keep going on and on forever . . .
That is until the hunger catches up to you and you can't help but land at the nearest McDonald's for some fuel.
"We should stay here for the night," Iggy suggested, glancing around even though he couldn't actually see what he was scanning.
"Ooh, yeah! I think I saw a shopping mall a few miles away, farther into town. Tomorrow we can stock up on clothes, and maybe buy a few extra things, just for fun, you know? Nothing heavy, since we have to carry a bunch of things around, but light stuff. I think it's a good idea! And it seems to be a fairly good sized town, so I'm sure there are a bunch of hotels we can check into. Oh pretty please can we check into a hotel for a couple of days! OMG! One with a pool? That way we can buy swimsuits and go swimming. Gosh, I haven't been swimming in, like, forever. This is gonna' be so much fu-!"
Jeezums. Even at sixteen, Nudge hadn't changed one bit.
"Sure," I muttered sullenly. I didn't particularly want to stop in this drab, irrelevant town. It was just another way to slow us down on our search, but the others really were getting tired, so I couldn't refuse.
"And you never know," Angel said suddenly, a bright smile shining on her face, "he might be here."
Yeah, right.
- }{ -
I had finally managed to escape Nudge's fashion-frenzied clutches. Now, as I walked along a deserted street at the edge of town, one side pavement and the other heavy forest, I was kind of wishing I had just stayed put.
The scenery was just a but too creepy for my liking. Not that I wouldn't totally kick butt if the event happened to arise. Still, the sun was setting low on the horizon, and the huge trees were casting gruesome and twisted shadows across the cracked and crumbling asphalt.
I would have to beware drunken men with knives.
Looking back, maybe a rapist would have been preferable. I could have knocked him out with one swift punch to the temple. The shadowy figure at the end of the drive though, was something entirely different. Something my still too frail heart might not be able to handle.
He was just staring at me blankly, too stunned for words. I probably looked much the same, frozen in shock at the sight of him after so damn long.
"Max?" he asked uncertainly, and his voice was deeper than I remembered . . . yet still smooth while being rough at the same time.
"Wh- . . . what . . . I . . ." I stuttered, at a loss for words.
Four years of endless searching, and I end up stumbling upon him on some back alley in a random, wayward town that wasn't even significant enough to make the map.
Are you even kidding me!
Nothing though, could have prepared me for the sight of him after all the years of heartbreak and depression I had endured at the mere thought of him entering my mind.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" I demanded, managing to form a coherent sentence, thank God.
"I could ask you the same thing," he replied in a hushed tone, his eyes narrowing.
"It's just another pit stop you have to make while on the run," I said numbly.
"So . . . so you didn't track me down here? You haven't been searching for me?"
"Of course we have you idiot! I never imagined it would be here that we were reunited after you're lame-ass idea to leave me after you promised not to, though. This whole meeting is mere chance. A confuddling coincidence, that actually might have made my life a heck of a lot harder than I had imagined," I muttered, frowning at the ground. Looking at him had become much too hard.
Without noticing we had both gravitated towards each other, and so he was within a comfortable enough distance to reach out and brush a stand of hair from my face. His touch sent tingles up my spine, and I shivered involuntarily, catching his hand in mine like if I let go he would meld into the dusk.
We couldn't stop it then.
I felt the tears spring in my eyes, and I tried my best to stifle a sob. He caught me up in his arms, cradling me to his chest like I was a fragile porcelain doll. I threw my hands around his neck, burying my face into his collar. I hugged him fiercely, and the sudden longing to never leave this position engulfed my whole being in a wave.
"I know, I know," he murmured comfortingly. "I'm sorry . . . so sorry."
I sniffled a bit, forcing myself to pull back so that I could see his face. I examined every inch and curve of it, re-memorizing the dimples and battle scars that I had been accustomed to almost my whole life . . .
Except for the last four years.
I stiffened up a bit, aware of my actions. I made a move to step out of his embrace, but he grasped me tighter, staring down at me as confusion flashed in his dark eyes. I glared in return, tugging at his hand.
"Don't you know that I . . ." he began, before trailing off uncertainly.
"What?" I asked, biting my lip.
"I just . . . I love y-"
"Love doesn't mean a thing," I whispered harshly. Maybe my heart was beyond repair. Maybe after being broken so much, there wasn't a happy ending for someone like me.
"How can you say that?" he asked incredulously, gripping my elbows in a vain attempt to ensure that I wasn't going to turn and run away. After all, that's what I felt like doing.
"No matter what . . . no matter how much you love someone . . . It's never enough, not for you at least."
"What are you talking about?" he inquired softly, glaring at me with those dark, intense eyes. Something about their innumerable depth chilled me to the bone. It was like swimming in an onyx colored ocean, frozen by the inky blackness that surrounded you like a deathly shroud.
"You said you loved me . . ." I trailed of, because just a small reminder of that letter he wrote sent pangs through my already damaged chest. There was an almost perceptible quivering deep in my soul, where only this silent, dark boy had managed to reach; unlike all the others that had tried before him.
"And I meant it, every word of it. Far before then, until now and forever," he insisted.
"The thing is . . . love wasn't strong enough to make you stay," I murmured brokenly, the crushing weight of what he had done truly settling in.
He had left me battered and bleeding; scarred for all eternity by the aggrivous wounds he had inflicted upon my heart. There wasn't a second that passed by without me seeing something that reminded me of him in the most crushingly malicious way. A thousand days and a thousand nights would come to pass as I mourned the agonizing loss he had purposefully created, of his own free will. My entire being had been altered; mauled by his absence. Seeing him before me now, in good spirit's and in good health, I've finally come to terms with the atrociously gaping hole that was shaped perfectly for him. All the little spaces of my soul, where he was meant to be, ached with a thousand cries for remorse.
"I didn't want to leave, you have to believe that." He was becoming frantic, because he could see that he was losing me to the darkness. The great maw of the void was inching closer, and it was only a matter of seconds before I succumbed to its roaring waters- which were prepared to swallow me whole.
"But I don't," I replied truthfully, wanting to take a step back but not being able to bring myself to. My legs were no longer connected to my brain. No longer computing orders. "If you really didn't want to leave, you wouldn't have."
"I did what I had to do. It was for the best."
"How can you say that," I cried, "while having the full knowledge that everything inside me broke down the minute I was able to accept that you weren't coming back! Please, explain to me how it was for the best, because I just don't get it. Do you understand how much pain you caused me? Do you understand how long I've grieved over losing your so called 'love'?"
"I was a liability. I was putting you and everyone else in danger."
"You're wrong . . . because we were all in more danger after you were gone than before. You were the source of all my strength; every drop of will power I ever had. Then you were no longer there and I withered, wasting away to nothing."
"I-"
"At least I had enough sense of duty not to fall right into Dylan's arms, which is what they wanted all along. At least I kept fighting, resisting their attempts at deciding my fate. Not like you. No, you accepted what they said without a second thought. You removed yourself from the picture, which is exactly what they wanted!"
"I know you don't approve of what I did, but I had to!"
"I went through stages," I said, continuing on as if I hadn't heard him speak. "At first, I was in denial. I refused to believe that you would ever voluntarily leave me. It had to be a hoax. Maybe you were kidnapped or something. Then I finally had to accept the truth, and I was launched in a depression like no other. That lasted for about two years or so. Next was the volatile anger. I caused harm to anyone or anything that was unfortunate enough to step into my path. That didn't last very long though. I could see I was hurting the ones that I loved. I couldn't put them through that any longer. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself, unlike you. After that I was kind of . . . subdued. I didn't do much of anything. I just slowly let myself accept that you weren't coming back. That was when the determination kicked in. I finally found the will to find you . . . and now that I have . . . I'm starting to think maybe things were better off before."
He laughed bitterly, smiling sadly down at me with a look of grief that made my heart wrench.
"I can't say I expected anything less. I should have known you were too headstrong to fall right back into my arms like I hadn't made the biggest mistake in my entire life."
"Do you think it was a mistake?" I asked breathlessly.
"I knew it the moment I flew out of town . . . but I also knew I couldn't go back then. It was too late."
"It never would have been too late. The best day of my life would have been the day you came back," I insisted in frustration, glowering at him.
"I'll never be able to say sorry enough. I'll never be able to fully hash out all my regrets. In fact, I may never be able to get you to forgive me . . . but I can at least try . . ."
I glanced up at him, puzzled; only to find his head swooping towards mine. Our lips connected and every thought was snatched from my mind. I slipped deep into a warm pool of water, light filling my vision from every crevice. I knew he and I would be together forever then. He was my lifeline. My hold to the ground we walked on now. He was everywhere to me, surrounding my entire being with his glorious smile.
Fang.
Authors Note: Okay, so some of that was kind of depressing. I'm in a bit of a depressed mood as it is now . . . but it had a happy ending right? And that's all that matters when all is said and done . . . Max and Fang are reunited, even though they never should have been torn apart in the first place, am I right?
Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you reviewed and told me what you think . . . Please?
