*I've had this story in mind for awhile so I thought I'd put it out there for people to read.
A month…
It's been a month…
Only a month?
Wow it feels much longer…
There is was, the pain. The ever lingering pain that at times is a wave that can't be controlled then it is a throb not enough to slow you down but enough to be noticed. Drinking down the hard whiskey it burns all the way down but not as much as the tears that almost constantly fall.
Falling…I had a friend who fell…fell right off a roof…
Fell all the way down to the ground…splat!
A moan sounding more like a dying cat than a broken man escapes not enough for an echo in the empty flat. The hard tiled floor of the bathroom presses sharply though there is no memory of sitting.
Falling always falling…
Dark diluted thoughts foggy in the haze of intoxication the world begins its spin starting slow but soon becomes a vortex. Hands grip the floor hoping to steady the earth it seems to help. Wandering eyes drift to the sink counter gazing over the multitude of prescriptions.
Pills, so many pills…
Pills for this…
Pills for that…
Pills for life…
Pills for death…
Pills…for…death…
The body moves slowly almost on its own pulling towards the counter with no stability for walking. The journey drags on the counter seems to go, moving in the wrong direction. With a burst of energy the last few inches pass and the counter top is within reach. Back against the counter one arm braced to the floor, the other searching the top. Fingers grip a bottle pulling to down.
Benzodiazepines…
The doctor side recognizes the name…sleep helper…the drunk side understands. Popping the bottles cap a majority to the containers inhabitants are consumed and drenched with a hefty swig of alcohol. Letting the bottle fall to the floor and watching the remaining pills scurry across the tiles.
How many did I take?
Two…
Four…
Ten?
The thoughts of how much was taken instigated a short hysterical giggle.
Too many…much too many…
That didn't bother. A sense of peace was beginning to descend. Falling…falling…Heavy eyelids slid shut as the drugs start to take effect.
Far away, with no pain, no falling, no…death…