As you've seen, there are a lot of "what if" stories on this site. I've decided to write one myself. I've always thought about all the different times Lily and Rufus could have gotten together.

This one will be a what if things turned out a little differently at thanksgiving (Blair Waldorf Must Pie!). Allison is still there, but will that stop Rufus and Lily? Read to find out!

What If It's Meant to Be?

Chapter I.

The moment Lily walked through the door, her nerves were sky-high. She wasn't sure how she should act. Well, that wasn't true. She knew how she SHOULD act. The real question was would she be able to? The truth was her and Rufus had grown closer in the last few weeks. He'd become her confidant and she was pretty sure she was starting to feel something for him again. Again, she thought with a smirk. She never really had fallen out of love with him, had she? She'd always tried to fill the void in her life that leaving him had left her. She hadn't been lying over the phone. She really did miss him.

She absent-mindedly closed the door behind her, bracing herself to see him. When she walked over to Dan to be introduced she had an enormous grin on her face. That grin however turned to a gaping mouth and she took a sharp breath in. Allison was back. Rufus walked and stood next to his wife and Lily wanted to throw up. The Upper East Side, however, hadn't taught her nothing, however. She immediately fixed her smile, as if she hadn't just been shocked beyond imagination and she replied with a "Happy Thanksgiving." She did not were her kids learning about her past, especially her past with Rufus.

"Well, it is so nice to meet you," Lily continued.

Catching on Allison replied, "Allison. Right. It's nice to meet you too. Lily, was it?"

Relief flooded through her body when Allison decided to play along with her.

And that was the beginning of their awkward thanksgiving. There was a minor power-struggle when bringing the mashed potatoes to the table. Lily suddenly felt out of place and it took everything she had not to do something drastic. She was positive she was going to say something to give herself away.

Chapter II.

The dinner was fine for the first portion. None of the children noticed a single thing. Lily could sense Rufus's discomfort. She chuckled to herself, he deserves to be uncomfortable. How could he not tell her that his wife was back? No wonder they hadn't spoken in the past week. She wasn't sure what they were…but, she—she just thought she deserved a phone call.

Then Serena got her phone call from Blair and Allison made that comment about Lily joining her. Lily just wanted to get up and slap her. Bitch, she thought to herself as she moved the bowl of stuffing.

"You were talking about your ranch…" Dan prompted.

"Did you have any horses?" asked Jenny.

"Yes. I had a few. I had my own. Rosewood." And that's where it all went downhill.

"My Dad has a song called Rosewood!" Jenny exclaimed at the coincidence.

"Oh! But not that Rosewood," Rufus interrupted. Lily looked at him in terror. Oh no!

"I completely forgot about that song," Dan reminisced.

"Yeah. It's about my mom, you know? Because had this perfume she always wore and it was rose and…sandalwood."

At that point, she was disgusted. And here she thought the song was about her. Unless her ears had deceived her, he had told her that. She bit her tongue because didn't want to hurt Allison's feelings. She looked away when Allison looked at her accusingly. She noticed that Rufus was looking down in discomfort. His mouth twitched. She knew he was wishing Jenny would stop talking.

"I'm a fool," Allison whispered to Rufus.

"You're not a fool."

Lily looked at them both and saw how distraught Allison was and guilt immediately swept over her.

"Raise your hand if you're over thirty and acting really weird right now," Dan proclaimed.

Lily laughed. "I'm sorry, Allison. I never told Rufus about that horse, so I'm sure it's just a coincidence." She was trying to save her cover. She didn't want Allison upset.

"Wait a minute. Why are you talking like you know each other?" Dan questioned in confusion.

Lily put a strained smile on and then took a breath inward.

"Do you two know eachother?" Eric turned to his mother.

Lily glanced at Rufus as did Allison.

"Uhm, we did no eachother. A long, long time ago." Rufus explained.

"What?" asked Eric. How in the world would his mother, the rich upper east side woman, know a Brooklyn boy?

"Know each other how?" Jenny asked in disbelief.

Silence rang through the room. Lily looked towards Rufus because she couldn't possibly meet anyone else's eyes. She noticed her son look down, when it dawned on him. He knew that she had no inhibitions when it came to sleeping with men.

As the sudden realization began to reach all of them, Allison couldn't deal with it. "I need some air," she expressed as she got up to leave. She order Rufus not follow her. A little dramatic in Lily's opinion. It's not like it was a shock to her. Did she really think the song wasn't about Lily? Some things never change, Lily thought.

Soon enough, the children scattered. It seemed they couldn't get out of there fast enough. Lily was glad. She didn't know how to get herself out of this mess. What was she supposed to say to Eric? She thanked her lucky stars that this news had erupted when Serena wasn't there. If she had been, she would have blown a fuse. She probably would've blamed Lily for making her life miserable. She'd say something like "How could you sleep with him? I'm dating his son." She laughed a little out loud, thinking of a reply that would certainly shut Serena up. "I got to his father before you even kissed Dan." Rufus looked at her in puzzlement once he heard her laughter ring through the dead silent room and soon enough a smirk engulfed his face. Before he could comment, Lily snapped back to reality and spoke to him, "Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom." She desperately wanted to cry. She wouldn't, but she wished she was the type of person to cry. She rarely cried though. She hadn't even cried throughout all of her divorces. It was no wonder she was deemed the "Ice Queen of the Upper East Side."

Chapter III.

She rested her head on her hand, seeking for an answer. An answer to what exactly, she was unsure. This couldn't be happening though. She looked up as he entered the room.

"You've been in here for a half-hour."

"Yeah? Well, not nearly enough time to fathom how you allowed me to walk into this situation." She was lashing out at him. She didn't like how she was starting to feel. She was getting a little jealous.

"Allowed you to----? Lily, you were the last person I expected to walk through the door today." How was he supposed to know that she would come?

"At the very least, you knew Serena would come home and tell me all about the wonderful thanksgiving she had with Dan, Dan's father---oh, and his mother! Is this really how I deserve to find out, Rufus?" She narrowed her eyes at him. He had taken a seat next to her and she was desperately trying not to look to eager.

"I don't know what I do---or do not owe you. I mean we haven't exactly defined what we are to one another." At this point, Lily looked away searching for a witty reply.

"Well, I think now's the perfect time to do it." Lily said sarcastically.

"I mean, Lil, these past few weeks have been----?" He stopped and looked at her.

"Have been what?" She was hoping he'd tell her they were wonderful. They certainly had been in her opinion.

After complete silence on his part, her eyes narrowed once more. "You can't even say it."

"I can, but I shouldn't."

Lily looked away in disbelief. She knew he was right, but it didn't matter. Why was it so bad to want for him to tell her that he had felt a little spark like she had?

"Look, Lil. For better or for worse, you're one of my oldest friend."

That really pissed her off. Oldest friend? Since when had they been friends? She must have pissed the we're friends memo.

"Oldest friends? That's certainly not how it felt when you kissed me at Eleanor's party," she retorted.

"Then how did it feel, Lil? If I remember correctly you told me it made you feel nauseous."

"It did, Rufus. It did because I felt like I was twenty years old again." Her eyes widened. She hadn't meant to say that. She didn't want him to know that she had enjoyed it. She wasn't supposed to.

"Lily…."

"That's not what I meant to say."

"Lily…" Rufus repeated.

"What, Rufus?" She nearly screamed, but she caught herself as she remembered the children were in the other room.

"What am I to you?"

"Excuse me."

"You want to define what we are. What am I to you?"

"I don't know, Rufus."

"So you can't even say it?" Lily didn't like it being implied that she was nervous or scared.

"I don't know what we are exactly Rufus," she sighed, "All I know is that I---I've-- " she stopped for a moment thinking how to describe how she was feeling.

"You've become the person I come to. You've become the person I look forward to seeing."

"Do you have feelings for me, Lily Van der Woodsen?" He asked jokingly.

"Shut up, Humphrey."

"Lily….."

She cut him off, "What were you going to say? What you said you shouldn't say?"

Now it was his turn to be honest, "Wonderful. I was going to say that these past few weeks have been incredible, Lil. I find myself smiling when I think about you."

"Rufus…."

He took one look at her and he couldn't contain himself. Suddenly, his breath caught in his chest. His body took over, his mind not thinking clearly. He gently stroked her cheek and pulled her close to him. He kissed her gently at first, but gentle was not their style and it soon grew into passion.

She was shocked, but it just felt too good to stop. The feeling of his lips on hers was familiar. It still sent tingles down her spine and gave her that butterflies in the stomach feeling. She pulled him tighter, as he began to trail his kisses to her neck. She moaned in satisfaction as he directed his kisses back to her mouth.

Comments Appreciated! [: To be continued...