Here it is!
Officially my second fanfic. Chapter UN! woo!
isn't it exciting? it is to me :D
anyways...
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I just own a notebook, over 60 CDs, and my fishies Fredrick & Sparky Jr.
A/N: THIS IS A CRACK FICTION. IT HAS DRUGS AND OTHER NON-CHILD TOPICS IN IT.
you've been warned.
Once Upon a Drug Trip
In the hidden leaf village, Konoha, The Rookie Nine, Team Gai, and the Sand Sibs were gathered at the Hyuga Mansion, courtesy of Hinata and Neji. It was an unusual month for the young shinobi. There had been practically no missions and even the Sand Sibs had time off from their visit with the Hokage. (A/N: they were basically vacationing because Gaara was there to discuss the peace treaty with Tsunade) They had nothing to do. So they decided it'd be more fun in a group.
Temari, Tenten, and Hinata were strolling through the Hyuga garden, while the boys were inside talking about girls, what else? Meanwhile Ino and Sakura were duke-ing it out over Sauske, as usual.
"Stay away from my Sauske-kun you little INO-PIG!" The three girls could hear them arguing outside.
"YOUR SAUSKE? YOU BILLBOARD BROW!" That was the last they heard before Hinata spoke up.
"I've n-never s-s-seen this p-path before!" Temari, Tenten, and Hinata found themselves in front of a path leading deep into the woods. Naturally they started down it, curious as to what they might find.
In the Hyuga mansion again, the boys were, unsurprisingly, talking about what girls they like the most.
"Girls are too troublesome." Shikamaru stated quite frankly when Naruto asked who he liked.
"Well, Temari doesn't think you're too troublesome, Shikamaru. You're all she ever talks about." Kankuro said, annoyed. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows in Kankuro's direction.
"DUDE! Temari's a total babe!! You're so lucky." Naruto practically screamed.
"Ahem…What about you Shino!?" Shikamaru quickly changed the subject after receiving several death glares from Gaara.
"Who do I like? Is that what you want to know?" Shino asked coolly.
"YEAH!!!" bellowed Naruto and Lee, jumping enthusiastically.
"Ino." He said nonchalantly turning back to his reading.
Kiba, Choji, Shikamaru, Lee, Naruto, and Kankuro all stared at Shino, mouths hanging open.
"Why would ANYONE like her? She's so annoying." Said Sauske, looking as pissed off and bored as ever, like always. "Better you than me I guess."
"She doesn't seem all that worth it to me." Neji added. "Care to explain your reasoning with us?"
"Out of all the girls at the academy, she was the only one that could talk to me w/o saying sentences that consisted of the words 'disgusting' or 'bugs are gross.' If you didn't notice, girls tend to stay away from me because of my kikai bugs."
"Do not be ashamed Shino! For Ino is a good choice. She burns with the fires of youth! CHA!" Lee preached to him.
"Leave it to Lee to describe someone in a weird way, eh Akamaru?" Kiba whispered to his now very large, white dog companion.
"Woof!" Akamaru had long since given up on barking. He felt "woof" expressed his strength better. That's what Kiba said anyways.
"Sauske, there has to be SOMEONE you like. Who is it? Come on, tell us." Choji said while munching on potato chips.
"If I HAD to choose…it'd probably be Hinata. She doesn't stalk me like Ino and Sakura. And she's quiet." He emphasized on the "quiet."
Neji just stared. He was sure they all already knew that he liked Tenten, though he'd never admit it. And of course everyone knew about Naruto and Lee liking Sakura. It was obvious by the loathing stares Kiba was giving Sauske, that he likes Hinata. There were only four of the ten boys that Neji couldn't figure out. Choji, Shikamaru, Gaara, and Kankuro, even though he had a slight idea as to who Shikamaru liked.
"Choji, since we're all sharing, why don't you tell us who you like?" Neji decided to find out about the four boys.
"Eh? munch munch Hmm…I guess I like…munch munch Ayame. She's a GREAT cook. munch munch" Choji continued to devour the chips as everyone, Naruto especially, stared at him.
"Erm…Gaara?" Neji asked hesitantly.
"Tenten's pretty, I guess." Gaara just kept on staring at Choji as he gave his answer. Something that surprised everyone. The fact that Gaara answered a question scared the boys. Kankuro took this opportunity to go to his happy place. A place filled with rainbows, chocolate chip cookies, and unicorns. Until Neji disturbed his daydreaming.
"Your turn, Kankuro."
"Geez, I don't know. And I gotta choose, huh? Well…I like Hinata. Like Sauske said, she's quiet. I like 'em quiet."
'What's with everyone liking Hinata all of a sudden? Perhaps this is something I should be concerned about.' Neji thought. Neji already knew that it was useless to try and get Shikamaru to fess up. Not with Gaara in the room anyway.
Meanwhile, things had not changed in the other room.
"INO-PIG!"
"BILLBOARD BROW!"
"You'll never win over Sauske-kun!"
"CHA!" Screamed inner Sakura.
Just then Sauske walked into the room, passing through to the kitchen. The two girls instantly started pushing and shoving one another to desperately try and get Sauske's attention.
"HIII SAUSKE-KUN!!!" Sauske just rolled his eyes and walked away. 'Annoying girls…'
In the garden…
"T-this path is s-so dark. Who kn-knew th-the trees provided so m-much sh-shade!" Hinata mumbled to herself.
"Oh wow! Those are amanita mushrooms! They make a great stew. Plus there's a lot. We could use them for lunch. Neji likes stew!" Tenten exclaimed excitedly.
"So does N-n-naruto-kun." Hinata added.
"Pshh. Shikamaru'll eat anything, I'm sure. He's too lazy to taste." Temari snorted.
Inside the mansion again, Neji, Naruto, and Shikamaru all sneezed. While the rest of the boys shivered, as they had suddenly felt strange feelings of doom.
Back in the woods, the three kunoichi were frantically picking the amanita mushrooms. After they had picked all they could carry, they rushed back to the mansion.
About an hour later all ten boys and five girls were sitting at the long table in the Hyugas' dining room, passing around the large pot of stew Hinata, Tenten, and Temari had prepared. Well, Hinata and Tenten. Temari mostly watched.
"What's in this stew Hinata-chan? It's really good!" Naruto asked.
"Oh. Th-they're a-amin-ita mushrooms. Th-they're re-re-really g-good, especially i-i-in stews. Th-th-th-thank y-you, N-n-naruto-k-kun." Hinata managed to stutter.
"Um…were they red with white spots, or white with red spots?" Choji asked between bites of his third bowl.
Temari was the first to answer. "They were white with red spots, why?"
"GULP!" Choji's eyes widened and he dropped his spoon, which caused everyone to stop and stare. Choji never, NEVER dropped his spoon. By this time most everyone was finishing up their second bowl of stew.
"Those aren't AMANITA mushrooms! The mushrooms YOU used cause you to HALLUCINATE!" Everyone gasped at this revelation.
Neji quickly and calmly went into the kitchen to examine the ingredients put into the stew. He reentered the dining room holding the so-called "amanita" mushroom and an empty rosemary bottle.
"Tenten, I need you to tell me, did you use what was in this bottle?" Neji asked seriously.
"Y-yes. Wh-why?" she asked nervously.
"This may be a rosemary bottle, but Hiashi-sama's medication was in it." Everyone gasped again. Except for Gaara, who was giggling uncontrollably with widened eyes.
'Dear lord! What have we done!?!?' Temari, Tenten, and Hinata thought to themselves, exchanging worried looks.
So, have you a good idea of what this story is going to be like?
If yes, good. If no, deal with it. Your mind must be too simple to comprehend my world.
hahahahaha.
R&R please!