Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice is owned by none other than Higuchi Tachibana. I do not gain any monetary profit from any fiction because... No one's willing to pay me!! (Gets shot)

Author's Note: My friend and I were talking about some of the local jokes and this idea just crossed my head and decided that it had to be published. There's no better stress reliever than writing fiction. (Nods) I have no idea where the title came from. It just sounded really catchy. xD

Flowers, Restaurants, and Circular Thingies

By: BlakRythem

A raven haired woman walked out of the terminal, pulling her roller bag along with her. She looked over the crowd of people that filled the airport, looking for a mass of blonde hair amidst the dark haired tones.

A small smile painted her usually stoic face when she saw Ruka waving at her, a nosegay of flowers in his other arm.

The smile was then replaced by a small frown, her eyes then glinted with doubt as she approached him. After years of being together, this was actually the third time the animal lover ever gave her flowers. The first being their first date. The second was her 21st birthday. She ran through her mental calendar, trying to remember what special day it was, and when she was convinced that today was another event less day (other than her returning from her trip), she wondered what made her boyfriend buy her something that she didn't really need.

"Hey! How was your trip to China?" Ruka greeted her with a wide smile on his face.

"It went quite well, thank you." She said and turned her gaze to the flowers. Ruka noticed her eyeing the bouquet and then handed it to her. "They're for you!" He said a bit too cheerful for Hotaru's taste.

She eyed him suspiciously as she took the flowers, "What for?"

"What for?" He repeated her words in a disbelieving tone, "Is it a crime to give flowers to your girlfriend after being separated from her for such a long time?" Ruka said, clutching at his chest as though Hotaru just broke his heart.

"Two days isn't a long time, Nogi."

Ruka frowned and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in a tight embrace, "It is for me. I missed you."

She pulled out from his embrace, still wary of what his intentions were. He just smiled at her as he offered her a hand.

"Let's go." He said as he led her to his car.

"Where to?"

He grinned at her, "It's a surprise."

"Table for two please."

Ruka said to the female receptionist. The woman batted her long lashes at him, in an attempt to flirt with him. Hotaru noticed this and narrowed her eyes at the woman, a murderous aura emanating from her.

The woman gulped, "U-Ummm... Yes, r-right this way sir... ma'am." She stammered and led them to a table accommodating two people.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" The woman asked.

"No. I believe it's the waiter's turn to take orders. Unless you double as one, then I believe your presence is no longer required here." Hotaru said to her in a bored tone. The woman huffed as she strode off, muttering something under her breath.

Hotaru turned to Ruka, her arms folded across her chest, silently demanding an explanation as to why he had brought her to such a... frightfully fancy place just to eat lunch. Not that she was complaing, but Ruka was never one to just randomly bring a woman to such expensive places... lest there was an occasion for it.

Ruka merely smiled and pulled out a seat for her, urging her to sit down. She stared at him for a moment before sitting down and watched him as he made his way to his own seat across her.

The waiter came, and Ruka ordered wine for the both of them while they scanned through the menu. Ruka whispered something to the waiter and slipped a few bills in the man's hand. The waiter grinned at the both of them and left. Hotaru raised an eyebrow at him as Ruka shrugged and started to turn the pages on the menu.

"What's going on, Ruka?"

Ruka gave her an innocent smile. "Can't I treat my girlfriend to a fancy restaurant once in a while?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Well I guess you're subjected to that. But my observation tells me that there's more to this than meets the eye." She paused, "If I didn't know any better, you were trying to get in my good graces today."

Ruka sighed as he set the menu down the table, "I'm hurt that you'd even suggest that Hotaru. All the things that I've done for you today was done all out of my pure love for you." He said a hint of despair in his tone.

Hotaru's nose crinkled. That was the cheesiest line she's ever heard him say... And he usually didn't have that kind of ability. The waiter came back with a bottle and poured some of the alcoholic beverage for them before taking their orders. When he left, a man in a tuxedo came up to them, carrying a violin in his hand.

"Wha--" Before Hotaru could ask what the man was doing, he started to play the violin, and she realized that the song he was playing was one of her favorites. She looked at Ruka questioningly, for the first time a bit lost at what the blond before her had in mind.

Ruka grinned, "I thought you might like the music."

"Hmm." Was the only thing that came from her, not sure what to make of this. She'd definitely seen this in a lot of those movies that Mikan would insistently drag her into watching. She was quite familiar with the gestures and the hints that Ruka gave....

But something was just darn right off about all of this.

Ruka studied her face, disappointed with her lack of reaction and a sudden nervousness went through the pit of his stomach. The urge to urinate settled in, but he shrugged it off, blaming it on his nerves at the moment.

"So anything interesting while you were in China?" Ruka started as he played with the wine glass in his hand.

"Nothing much. A big company bought one of my inventions and plan to market it, the usual thing. Other than that, nothing interesting at all." She said and sipped some of her wine.

"Oh." He said, looking down on his own drink. There was a momentary pause, the music that serenaded them the only indication that time was running, and then he looked up at her. "Speaking of buying... I bought something really interesting yesterday."

"Mmmhhmmm."

"Something that comes in a box and in it is something circular and shiny." Ruka said, making weird circular motions with his fingers as he spoke.

"Something like a compact disk?"

"...."

"...."

"You know, most women would guess that as a ring."

"Well, I'm not like most women. And if it were a ring, you'd describe it as something with frosting." Hotaru said, matter-of-factly.

Ruka laughed as he continued, "Well okay, let's say it was a CD... sort of the latest game that's out this season."

"Oh? What of it?" She asked in an uninterested tone.

"And the funniest thing happened actually." He said as a chuckle came out of his throat. Hotaru still wore an indifferent face as she sipped the last of her wine.

Ruka paused for a second and chugged down the wine in his hand, surprising the woman a bit.

"I was so excited about playing it that I tried installing it on a computer. Then there was this not-so suspicious looking program that was probably a package of the game." He stopped when the waiter returned with a tray filled with their food. He let the man finish his job of putting down their meal on the table before he continued.

"And then it prompted me to install it... And so I did."

Hotaru unfolded her table napkin and set it down on her lap.

"And what did this not-so suspicious looking program do?"

Ruka laughed nervously as he started to eat his food.

"Well, it did... many things with the computer."

"Like what?"

"Like... crash it... for instance."

"Hm. Well I'm sure your mother will be generous enough to send you money to get it fixed or buy you a new one."

Ruka laughed nervously, "Well you see... It wasn't... mine?"

There was a moment of silence, both of them not moving at all. Ruka blinked at her, mentally picturing the cogs on her brain running. He was surprised when she picked up a whole crab and brutally snapped its claws off, causing him to jump.

"Interesting. And just who is the unfortunate owner of this computer you've just crashed?" She said, a bit too calmly as she started to eat the crab's meat.

"Well... It was already too late when I realized that the copy I bought was a fa—."

"Ruka Nogi. Whose computer was it that you've stupidly broke down?" Hotaru said acidly as she took a knife and impaled the spare ribs in front of her.

Ruka shrunk down in his seat as the woman before him imploded. He could imagine that she was impaling him instead of the food. He gave her an apologetic smile.

'I guess the flowers and the fancy restaurant didn't work.'

Hotaru took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. While she was going to make sure that she would make the blond pay dearly, she could get that computer up and running in a few minutes. And she had stored all her files in a separate hard drive. She was just glad that it was something minor as that and not something priceless like--

"I guess this is a bad time to tell you that I accidentally broke your grandmother's Venetian vase while trying to move the CPU out of the room, isn't it?"

And all hell broke loose.

Ruka Nogi walked into the computer mechanic's store, carrying with him a busted central processing unit. He was trying to hide his face from the people that were staring at him.

He never felt such shame in his life...

Well actually, he has... Back when he played Snow White.

But walking around on the streets of Tokyo in THAT was the most embarrassing thing that could ever happen to him YET. No doubt that his violet-eyed girlfriend had more in store for him in that department.

"Ummm... Excuse me sir?" He said, calling the middle-aged man on the counter. The man who was fixing another busted computer turned and smiled at him, "How can I help you S—." He stopped when he saw the young man... Or what the young man was wearing.

Ruka was wearing a blue sailor uniform...

...Women's blue sailor uniform.

Ruka fidgeted as he kept tugging the mini skirt that only reached mid thigh in an effort to cover more of his legs. He was lucky that Hotaru made him wear knee-length socks. He at least didn't feel so naked in them... Just an occasional draft between his legs.

Ridiculous couldn't even describe the sight that beheld the mechanic as he tried to stifle a laugh.

"W-What can I do for you, m-ma'am?" He asked before he burst out laughing, clutching at his stomach. Ruka glared at the man as his cheeks flushed red with both embarrassment and anger. He set down the machine on the counter.

"My girlfriend needs this fixed." He said through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure she's the girl? Because I can tell you're not the one wearing the pants in the relationship!" The mechanic said as he continued to laugh.

Ruka had his hand down on the counter, supporting all his weight on it and tapping his fingers on the surface. A look of impatience crossed his face.

"Woo! Sorry bud. It's not every day we get some entertainment around here." The man said as he lifted the CPU up and set it on his work area.

"This is just not my day." Ruka muttered to himself.

Hotaru heard the store's bell ring and she turned around to see her cross-dressing boyfriend come out. She caught view of the mechanic who was still boisterously laughing at the younger man.

"There. Your computer's getting fixed. Now can we go home?" Ruka grumpily said, his arms folded across his chest. A passing teenager just cat-called him and he glared at him in return, making the teen crash into a nearby dumpster.

Hotaru smirked, "Why should we? We still haven't gotten you in that cute bunny costume I personally made for you last night."

Ruka groaned when he heard her plans to increase his utter humiliation.

"Oh and one more thing Ruka." He looked up at her and a sudden flash blinded him. He tried rub off the blue spots that plagued his eyes.

When he regained his ability to see, and was dismayed to see that his girlfriend was waving a piece of photo paper in her hand, and a Polaroid camera in the other.

She smirked as she showed the embarrassing photo of him in a mini skirt.

"Definitely going to be a hit on the internet." She said as he walked off, leaving a baffled Ruka behind.

"W-Wait! You're not serious are you? Come on! I got it fixed, didn't I? That's what this is all about, isn't it?"

Hotaru turned around and smirked evilly at him, causing him to pale.

After that, Ruka learned never to touch his girlfriend's things again. Ever.

Author's Note:

I needed to get this depressed feeling out of my chest. And this was definitely a good cure for that.

I actually had two directions for this... but decided on the first just for the giggles. And I enjoy writing about an enraged Hotaru.

So how was it? Crappy? Boring? Or did it actually make you chuckle?

Reviews would be greatly appreciated. :D