/A small fun fact, fanfiction net says this story has more words than Word does. Huh. WOW THAT WAS FUNNY, HUH?!/

/Before you start reading… dear Ladies, I just wanted to point out that I'm in fact single. And desperate. Please contact me. I can… cook some rice for you. Not kidding, I'm a pro when it comes to rice. I love that shit. No, this isn't a funny interlude to the story, I'm super serious. So… yeah./

Tracer's phone rang just when she was about to go to sleep. It was Lucio calling.

"Hello? Lucio, why are you calling me this late?" she said.

"Umm, Tracer? I was browsing the Internet, looking for some quality shitposts, and I found something really weird."

"Uh-huh, like what?"

"You know that one site called Fanfiction dot net?"

"I've heard of it."

"Well you see, there's this one guy on this website, who only writes shitposts, and he mostly writes shit about Overwatch."

"Cool, you can send me some tomorrow, I'm really tired."

"No, no, you don't understand. All of his fanfics are full of idiotic humor, racist statements and straight up PORN."

"You mean like, sex scenes?"

"Tracer, I'm talking really detailed tentacle rapes and black people sexually assaulting white women… and ape sex… even a scene of Santa Claus' elves gangbanging Tracer from Overwatch. Oh wait, that's you… Holy shit…"

"Huh?!"

"Well this guy's most popular fanfics are the ones with you as the main character. And let me tell you right now, this isn't exactly what you'd like to hear, but all of these stories have you being gangbanged in them."

"Lucio, I really didn't need to know this!"

"I'm reading one right now, and it's about me helping you with cooking rice… hehehe… wait, what the fuck? HUH?!"

"Alright, now you made me want to read them…"

"Umm, you don't want to read them, really."

"I have to, since you've already told me about them."

"Well, I won't stop you. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna masturb…"

Tracer threw the phone out of the window and opened up her laptop. Then she entered the hellpit known as Fanfiction dot net.

"Let's see… this one is about me starring in a movie… huh." And then she read it. "Apes… leather straps… syringe going into the anus… Who wrote this shit?!"

And then she opened up another story.

"This one's about me and Torbjorn smoking weed... like, why Torbjorn out of all people? Let's see… hmmm… so far it's not that dumb… wait…" and then she read the ending, "Excuse me?!"

She felt strange by reading this. "What the fuck, I'm not getting turned on by this shit, aren't I?" she thought, "Calm down Tracer, it's just a bunch of shitposts."

Then she started reading another one.

"Tracer's Criminal Past? What criminal past? I haven't done anything criminal!" And then she read the fanfic, "That's it, I'm gonna go to this guy's house and fuck him up!"

And so she decided to go fuck that author up, but first she went to sleep, then she woke up and ate some delicious Oreo's for breakfast.

She tracked this bitch down with her secret spy network, traced his IP address, and arrived at his house with her plane.

She knocked the door and got no response. Then she realized that she had to press a button to ring the bell, silly Tracer.

"Who's there?" The author looked through a hole.

"It's Tracer from Overwatch, and I'm here to fuck you up."

"Oh, alright, wait a sec." and then he opened the door.

"What?" Tracer asked, "You just opened the door like that?"

"You said you wanted to fuck me up, so…"

"Huh?"

"My body is ready."

"I don't think you realize, but real life is not like fanfiction, and I'm not just gonna fuck you up the way you think I would."

"Umm, I don't think you realize, but this is a fanfiction as well."

"HUH?!" And then Tracer realized, that she made a mistake by coming to that guy's house, "What are you gonna do with me?"

"Hmm, let's see…" and then the guy took out a giant notebook from his anus, "This notebook contains everything I ever wanted to do in a sexual way with a female."

"S-so we're just gonna, like, pick the first one or two and I'm g-good to go, r-right? Please?"

"Oh, we're gonna do ALL OF IT!"

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And then something happened, I don't know what, don't ask me, lol.

THE END

This has to be my most self-aware fanfic so far. Tell me if you liked it. Also, ladies, please contact me. I'm a master cook. I can cook rice with chicken or grounded beef. And Uncle Ben's sauce. I can also make spaghetti. And toasts. And… shit, alright, I can't cook anything else, but it's enough, right?

And for the guys out there (and by guys I mean all those psychos that read my stuff) I have something special for you. Go on Google and search for 3d Girl Custom Evolution. You can thank me later.

"With great hentai comes great fap."

~Mahatma Gandhi