NOT WHAT WE'D HAVE CHOSEN

(Han)

Leia, Jarik, Jaina and I are at the dining room table, finishing a meal of traladon stew that's a family favorite. The boys are at Praxium on Yavin 4. Jacen seems to sober and in a good place; he decided that he'd like to learn more of the Living Force in order to be the sort of veterinarian he wants to be and Anakin's doing the basic training of whatever other types of Force there are. He took a bit of flack in the beginning about his name, but he got over it in a hurry. Kid's good humored about stuff that would've had me punching someone out.

Jaina's done with her Jedi training and has been home for about two weeks now. She's mostly been hanging with her gal pals and sleeping till midafternoon. She hasn't said what's next for her. Leia and I haven't pressed her; I can't grudge her a little fun. Her marks in school and at Praxium put her at the top of her class. The universe is wide open for her.

"Stop kicking, you little twerp," Jaina tells Jarik, but in a good humored way.

"I'm not kicking you!" Jarik protests. "I'm just moving my legs!"

This is why Leia and I get weekly calls from his school, pleading for us to medicate the boy.

"So Mom, Daddy, I've made up my mind for my next move," Jaina announces as her brother rolls strips of wastril bread into narrow tubes and sticks them into his nose. "See my boogers?" he says, causing Leia to roll her eyes.

"Jarik! How many times do we have to tell you not to play with your food?" I scold.

"Yeah, save it for school 'cause your friends think it's a lot funnier than we do," Jaina chides him.

"And where did he learn to do this?" Leia demands of Jaina. Let's just say that my penchant for rudeness doesn't extend to table manners and Leia had nothing to do with it, either.

"Jacen and Anakin. I was telling you I've made up my mind what to do next, if Mr. Hyperactivity over here can knock it off," Jaina says.

"Go on," Leia tells her.

"I'm joining the Navy."

Leia and I pass a small look to each other, the ones that married couples probably all have, that no one else would be able to tell.

Ours is saying, we need to support her. Even though we feel like screaming and kicking and begging 'NO!'

"That's wonderful news," Leia manages to gulp out.

"Way to go, sweetie," I say, trying to sound sincere.

What we have overlooked is that she's Force sensitive and probably knows how we really feel about it, which is that we've been kicked in the guts.

"Are you gonna be a pilot?" Jarik asks her.

"Yep. And the best pilots get trained in the Navy," she tells her kid brother.

"Cool! What kinda ship you gonna fly?"

"Not sure yet. Probably start on X wings," she tells him. Leia and I are grateful that he's filling in the blanks while we're getting our bearings. "Should be easy; I've been flying the Falcon for a few years now, but it's not the same as flying a fighter craft."

"That sounds so cool!" Jarik is awed by this.

"You'll be great, honey," I tell her.

"You've always been able to do whatever you set your mind to," Leia says, putting a smile on her face.

"Are you gonna be in Dad's class?" Jarik asks her.

"No, I'm going off world to Carida."

That hits me hard. "I trained there," I say. Okay, back then I trained as an Imperial officer and we all know what happened with that.

"I know, Daddy," she says, smiling at me. "That's what it says in my orders."

"And when are you called up for?" Leia asks.

"Two weeks from today."

"We didn't even know you'd been accepted," I tell her.

"I told myself I wasn't gonna say anything till I got my orders. Now I've got 'em and I'm ready to go." Her eyes sparkle with excitement.

"You know it's not easy," comes out of my mouth. Way to go, Captain Obvious.

"Well, duh!" Jaina says, rolling her eyes, but her sense of humor's with her. "But at least I won't have you for an instructor."

"Sometimes you just get lucky," Leia says dryly, putting a smile on her face. "Jarik, your turn to clear the table."

Jarik groans, as he always does. "C'mon, squirt, I'll help you," Jaina says to him.

I pour Leia another glass of wine and grab another ale for myself and we retire to the living room. The kids are being noisy and taunting each other wildly. Jarik's been taught by professionals. He can hold his own nicely. I slip my arm over Leia's shoulders and squeeze them gently.

"At least it's peacetime," Leia says softly. It's not likely that the kids can hear us. "I really hoped she'd consider attending university, but she's got flying in her veins." Leia looks up at me and smiles impishly. "I blame you, of course."

"Well, I'm your husband, don't I get blamed for everything?"

"And rightfully so," she adds. Her face turns serious again.

Jaina and Jarik finish up the kitchen work. They head for Jarik's room, while Jaina lectures him on the finer points of flying the Falcon. I know the boy wants to fly and I have all intentions of letting him do so soon. Well, as soon as he can focus a little more. He likes doing repairs with me, and it takes me back to when Jaina was little, helping me out, asking about what tools were good for what parts, things like that. I cherish those memories. Of course, it may have something to do with her career aspirations. The law of unintended consequences strikes again.

Jaina has better luck forcing him into the shower than Leia or I ever have. Jacen and Anakin have been able to do this in the past.

"In two weeks, Jarik's going to be alone again," Leia observes. Jarik adores his older siblings. Having his two brothers away is hard enough. And Jaina's just passing through.

While he's singing wildly off key in the shower, Jaina comes out and sits opposite us.

"Look, parental units," she says to us. "I know you're not happy that I'm going into the Navy." I open my mouth but Jaina holds up her hand. "Don't bother trying to deny it. Even the most Force blind person can tell. But..." her expression softens..."I really appreciate that you're trying to support me. I need that, and I'm grateful that you're trying."

"It's not easy for us, sweetie," Leia tells her. "But you have to follow your own path. No one can do it for you."

"Thanks, Mom. That means a lot." She gives her a smile.

"I think keeping you from flying would be about as successful as keeping you from growing older," I tell her.

"Afraid so, Daddy. But like you, I was born to fly. So I blame your DNA." We all manage to laugh. "I'm gonna be okay. And I'll miss you guys. But this is what I need to do."

"It's not what we would have chosen for you," I tell her. "But it's not for us to say."

Jaina comes and wraps her arms around us. "I love you guys. Thanks for having my back."

"Always, sweetie, always," I tell her.