DISCLAIMER: I don't own any rights to Cirque Du Freak and never will. *CRIES* I will never own Evra Von *CRIES SOME MORE*
A/N: In Steve's POV
SUMMARY: Everyone focused on Darren and his feelings, failing to wonder about Steve Leonard. His life isn't a walk on a fresh, sunny day. Sometimes he misses Darren and his mom, sometimes he wishes he could reverse time, based on film.
TITLE: The Secret Life of Steve Leonard
~CIRQUE~DU~FREAK~
Hi, I'm Steve Leonard (Or Leapord, it doesn't really matter) and I'm a Vampaneze. Darren used to be my best friend and deep down I know that he still is except I also know that he hates me. He thinks that life as a vampire is hard, he should think about my life. I wake up every morning cold, lonely and hurt. I miss him more than he misses me and that is the thing that hurts the most. Sometimes, I wish that I could end it all with one fatal stab but the Vampaneze need me. When he left me in that theatre, a new whole was punched through my heart. He doesn't realise what this life is doing to me. Every night I think about him with his little friends at the Cirque and how much more he has than I do. It hurts more than anything and I need him to tell me that it's going to be okay but he can't.
I need him to wipe away my tears and tell me that 'tears don't suit me' like he used to. He was the only person I could cry to and tell all of my problems to. He was a brother to me and I miss him more than anything in my whole life. He was my best friend and was part of me but now, he's gone and he's taken a part of my heart with him. The hardest thing to deal with is the fact that I know he is still laughing, breathing, running, living the perfect life. He is still forgetting all of the things we did together. Like the time we took some his mom's jewellery and buried it in the garden, moments we can never re-live.
I guess the person I resent the most is Larten Crepsley. We all here call him Crapsley but I'll just use his normal name for now. He was the one that took my almost blood-brother from me. He was the one that took away part of my life that I can never get back. Darren has it all and what do I have? Power? Rage? They're all on the outside, inside I'm empty. I can't love because it hurts too much, I can't laugh because I don't know how to anymore, I can't smile because I don't really have anything to smile about. I saw him once, with Evra (his new best friend) and my heart fell and shattered. It was like he had totally forgotten about me and was living as though I never existed. My mom hardly realised I was there. She was drunk half the time and had a new guy everyday. I didn't think that I'd miss her but I do. She still cared and I failed to think of that. I wondered weather she cried or not at my funeral but she wasn't a crying type. I'm not sure if she turned up to my funeral actually but I guess she had to really.
Sure, I know a few guys around here but not as many as I knew back at school. It's all Desmond Tiny's fault, he did this to us. He tore us apart. I pretend to like him and pretend he's my dad but that's all for show. Secretly I hate him and want to stab him in his big, fat stomach. I used to think that if I did, he'd just explode because hi fat belly was actually air but now I know that it isn't. Mr Crepsley killed Murlough in the theatre and that's another reason why I hate his guts. Murlough was my only friend here and now he's a little person, I can't look at him like I used to. I looked up to him and now, he can't teach me anything. Without his teaching, I'm gonna die because well he was my mentor. He was going to teach me everything I had to know and well when the war comes, I can't do anything because I know absolutely nothing.
I hate Evra Von to. He is Darren's current best friend and he's living the life I should be living with Darren and loads of friends. When I think about him and Darren living it up, I grow more… not jealous but angry. He has everything. He has a career, Darren, a comfy hammock, a pet and friends. I used to have all of that. Basically, don't think being a Vampaneze is easy because it's not. It hurts the people you're closest to and you end up loosing them. A vampire's life isn't easy but a vampaneze's life is just as hard, if not harder and now I have no one to train from because Tiny's always busy doing other stuff and eating. I gotta go now so… well bye.
STEVE.
~CIRQUE~DU~FREAK~
A/N: Please Review to tell me what'cha thought. It only takes seconds. ^_^ Thankies, love you all so much!!!