Hello everyone! I, unfortunately, stumbled upon this story. I immediately thought, commentary time, just by reading the description. Warning, I believe you can die from the grammar errors and the idiot plotline. I am not responsible for any damages.
Chapter ONE! Inrto (Into or intro? If into, I'm quite scared..) Cara
A/N THISSSSSS (Parsletounge?) IS MY NEW STORY PLZ READ AND REVIREW! I KNOW YOU WILL LUV IT!
My name is Caroline Olivia Queen (Queen. Siriusly?) and I attend Hogwarts .Every one calls me Cara for short because I HATEE my first name and I have a problem I am in love with Fred and Jorge (It's GEORGE! GEORGE! My wizard god save me.) Weasly (Weasley..). They r My BEST FRIENDS! We gone too Hogeasrts together since we were in the first year. (No shit, Sherlock)
I hace long beautiful (Here comes the Mary Sue Description) chochlate colored brown hair that fell in perfecjt curls down my back. I styled my hair down. (Can you do that?) I had light blue eyes. Blue as a freshwater river. (Freshwater river? That's one of the most Mary-Sueish descriptions of a person's eyes I have seen) I have a VERY curvy figure. I am petite and small. ALOT of people seem to love me.(Of course, they do.) Proboly because I am very nice and kidhearted! I give money to the homeles and orphands too! (What's that have to do with anything? Mean people can give money to the homeless and orphans.) Everyone sayes they love to be around me. (Again, typical sue.) I also love to prank with Fred and Jorge. We love pranking Snepe but we never get caught! I am in griffindor with them. I dont no if they like me or not. Being around them makes me fell all nervous and fuzt (They sure know how to make a person feel fuzt!) inside!
My story begone now when I was on the train. Waiting to arrive at the school I attend, Hogwarts. (This is the third time you've said you attend Hogwarts. WE GET IT!) Then my frends walk in the compartment I was sitting.
"Hello" say Fred and Jorge (George) at the same time.
"Hi" I said back. (Well, that was a pointless conversation)
the rest of the train ride we eats stuff from the troly such as chochlate and caramel Then we arrived at Hogwarts. (Make that four times) Hogwarts is a big castle big enough for all the students ti sleep in. (Not all the time, sometimes Hogwarts runs out of room and makes some Slytherins sleep with the Giant Squid!)
"Were here" I said very excitedly. You see I luv Hogwarts more then home. Hom,e is boring since I live alone. I am a orphan thit is why I luv giving them money and understangin. (I wonder how in the world you have enough money to sustain a house, without a job, and still be able to afford Hogwarts, giving money to poor and homeless people. Why am I trying to put logic in here? THERE IS NONE!)I dont like being alone I am a people person! My parents die when I was young about 4 actually. A year later I met the weaslys. (How did you meet the Weasleys when you were five?) My parents were killed by death eaters and Voldomort hisself.
Me Fred and Jorge walked into the grate Hall. I sat betwen them at the griffindor table. I smiled as I ate my chicken (Chicken! I said and there it was! Ah, Turtle from Imma Wiserd.. Chicken always reminds me of you.) thinking of all the pranks we were going to do this year.
"So Cara what r we going to prank snape with this year" said fred happily. "tink we should turn his hair pink!"
"OMG That would be soo funny." I cheered. (Not really. Maybe his expression but, that's about it.)
"I agre" agreed Jorge (George). Then Dumledore said we had to go to bed since it was VERY late.
I went up to my dorm bed and fell asleep. (Maybe she'll stay asleep forever!)
The next morning (And my hopes go down the drain…) I went in the grate hall with fred and Jorge (George). Snape walked into the grate hall with PINK HAIR! (You didn't even plan, nor did you use a spell on Snape. How is his hair pink?) Snape glared at us and sat next to hagrid. He didnt look very happy. Dumledore was eating his waffles. (I can so imagine Dumbledore eating waffles with a huge grin, acting as though he was five..)
"Hey cupcake, how about we make out" Dumbledore saaid to Snape (Well, that's going to haunt me for awhile) who walks inro grate hall.
"no thank you dumbdore!" insulted Snape. (Insulted?)
Me Jorge (George) and fred laughed at the headmaster being rejected.(That's not nice! Apologize to the waffle-eating Dumbeldore!) WE then finished our meals and went to classes.
First we had potions then we had a bunch of other claasses. (Again, another pointless thing to know!)
I sat in the back row nxt to Fred and Jorge (George). Snape walked in the clasroom and glared at us. (Wouldn't his face hurt after awhile from all of that glaring?)
"miss cara, you have detention for my hair." (What about Fred and George?)
"I dont do anything I responeded (Um, ob-viously you did, somehow)
"I kn'w it was you. You will report ti my class room after lunch and dont think about doin any homeworK!" Snape said. I was shocked. we never got caught befour. Snape must have been up to something EVIL! (How is giving you detention 'evil'?)
I ate my pizza and soda for lunch. (Pizza and soda at Hogwarts?) Then I went to sbnapes classroom for detention…
TO BE CONTINUED! (Yippy, I'm so excited [Translation: Someone shoot me before I have to read the next chapter.)
REVIEW AND I WILL WRITE DA NXT CHAPTER! (Please don't)
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