Eyyyyyyy I've been gone a while. A bit of an explanation on that below, but read the story first, because that's what you're here for.

I've been watching Lab Rats again (finally!), and I'm up to Speed Trapped. Well, Tyrel Jackson Williams is a fantastic actor, and that stunned stupor he pulled after Marcus threatens to reveal the Davenports' secret is also fantastic, and I had to write a bit of Leo's thoughts there. This is about 1200 words, so not that long, but I don't think it needed to be. I rated this story T to be safe. Some scary thinking, death-talk, and one mild swear. I don't own Lab Rats or any of the characters. Enjoy!

* * * Traumatic * * *

Leo stopped breathing. Seriously. For several seconds, he couldn't breathe. It felt like an elephant sitting on his chest. It felt like a hand reaching down out of the sky and crushing his ribcage. Leo had a friend growing up named Alison who had asthma. She'd described how it felt a couple times, and at this moment, Leo understood. The lack of oxygen. The pounding heart. The sweat pouring off your head. The utter lack of control to do or say anything coherent. He couldn't breathe.

He barely even registered when Adam, Bree, and Chase walked into the room. He turned toward Chase's voice mechanically, as an automatic response to the presence of another human being. But he couldn't look. He couldn't bring himself to look up. It wouldn't have mattered, anyway. All he could see were Marcus's glowing green eyes, inches from his own, ready to bore a hole through his skull and leave him for dead on the ground.

Leo had seen enough action movies to know what a hero's stalemate looked like. He could recall a hundred instances of the "No Way Out" scenario where no matter what the hero did, horrible things would happen. He'd seen heroes given ultimatums by villains. He'd watched his favorite protagonists wrestle with choices that seemed to have no good outcome. He'd watched and enjoyed and smiled at the thought of such a complex story arc that would reveal what the character was truly made of.

He would never enjoy that again.

Marcus had threatened to reveal his family's secret. Of course that threat had always been there, looming above their heads at every turn. But to hear it verbalized by someone else, by a villain—Leo knew by now that was an appropriate title for Marcus—it took on a whole different, much more terrifying life. It was real. They were one phone call away from going away forever, from Davenport Industries collapsing, from his stepfather being dragged to jail, from a remote prison full of probing devices that would torture his brothers and sister. On a single whim of Marcus, their careful crafted world would fall into oblivion.

Leo had kept secrets before. He'd kept Gordo's secret about his love for My Little Pony. He'd kept his real dad's secret about that time he snuck three brownies meant for Tasha's ladies' club. He'd kept Adam, Bree, and Chase's secret for almost a year now. But this? There was another bionic! Not only that, but a bionic who knew Adam, Bree, and Chase's secret, and who was clearly not on their side. Leo would have to hold that in him forever—or until Marcus acted.

Marcus had trapped him in a car heading to the bottom of the ocean. Marcus had discovered the lab. Marcus had tried to pin the broken guitar on him. Marcus had, in fact, let his hamster out of her cage, and now Leo couldn't find her. Marcus had shot lasers over his shoulder, and he had threatened to shoot Leo again. Already Leo could count on two hands the number of times Marcus had issued him a threat, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it now. Anything he said, anything he did would risk Marcus being angry enough to let loose a secret that would bring the Davenports to their knees.

Tasha crying in the background as the police wrestle Mr. Davenport to the ground and handcuff him. Adam fighting off as many agents as he can, but they keep coming until he is overwhelmed. Bree trying to speed out the door, but there they are again, and they catch her. Chase trying to work a way out, trying to save his siblings, but failing and blaming himself. And Leo. Leo, in the back, watching wide-eyed because he couldn't keep his big mouth shut.

His big mouth.

His big mouth.

What was he going to do? He couldn't breathe! He couldn't even begin to understand the enormity of what Marcus had said, and he already felt overwhelmed. Time to cool off wouldn't help. This pressure would weigh on him for . . . what? Forever? Would Marcus hold him to this threat forever? What would Marcus make him do or say, just under threat of exposing his family? Where would this end? Could it end in any way other than the world finding out about them? Could it end in any way other than Marcus smirking as he called the police, informing them about the gross violation of the law had taken place by an esteemed billionaire-scientist? Would it ever end, or would Marcus lord this over him forever? Must he be a slave to Marcus's desires out of fear that his family would be taken away?

What could he do? Could he fight this? Could he do this himself? He must, or else Marcus would ruin everything. Could he find a way to fight, discreet, in the shadows, so as not to arouse Marcus's ire? Could he live like this, in constant fear of making a wrong move?

Adam, Bree, and Chase had to fear for their lives on missions all the time, and now Leo understood how it felt. He understood what it meant to look death in the eye. But he couldn't laugh. He couldn't face it. This terrified him.

". . . Leo?"

Leo broke out of his trance when Bree said his name. How long had he been thinking? It felt like hours. He blinked and stared at Bree, wondering what she had said. All three of his siblings stood there with the beginnings of concerned looks on their faces. They probably thought he'd been traumatized by his near brush with death in the car. No, no. He wished he was back in that car right now.

"Leo, you good?" Chase asked.

No, no I'm not! Can't you see? This maniac controls my life now! Anything, anything that I do could put you guys in danger. Your secret is this close to being exposed, and I'm the one who determines if it is or not. Can't you see? Can't you see? He's more than just an awful person. He's more than annoying. He's a bad guy, can't you see that? He hates me, but this goes so much deeper! He's after you! I don't know why, but he's after you, and I'm the only thing that's keeping him away. How could I possibly be good when all this guy wants is for the police to drag you away over my corpse?

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."

Being trapped in a car that's speeding to the bottom of the ocean is terrifying. Leo had been freaking out, straining against the seatbelt and trying everything to free himself. But he could still breathe. He still saw a way out. He knew that Adam, Bree, and Chase could rescue him.

Not this time. This time, he was alone. He was the only one who knew Marcus's secret, and he couldn't let it out. He would have to live with this. He would have to walk on eggshells. He would have to live his life in fear, and his siblings couldn't know why. He didn't know how to get out of this one, not without their entire world falling apart.

Marcus threw his arm around Leo's shoulder, supposedly as a sign of camaraderie in front of the others. Leo had to fake a smile. They couldn't know. But all Leo could think about was how close Marcus's arm was to his throat, how those evil green eyes could burn through his marrow without a second thought.

Leo stopped breathing again.

There! I'm proud of that, actually. I'm trying to get back into writing again, and I feel like that was a good way to do it. (Personal updates are below; if you stumbled on this story and don't care about me, you can leave now.)

I moved! I moved states! I moved time zones! Yeah. It's been a hectic few months, some very tearful goodbyes. I'm happy to be moving, in some ways, because we're closer to family now and more stable. But, yeah, still sad. And HECTIC. So that's part of why I haven't been writing very much. That and I'm lazy and a huge procrastinator, so someone yell at me in the comments, please!

But even besides that, life is busy. I'm about to enter senior year. I'm applying to colleges (early applications, baby!). I've got to find a new church and make new friends. I've got to partially unpack and then move again in a few months. (We're staying in a temporary place until our new house is finished being built.) I'm going to become a legal adult soon, so I guess I've got to figure my life out now! Yeah. A lot. Not that any of that is an excuse, but that's where I'm at right now.

(Also, I struggled with some serious anxiety at the end of the last year/the beginning of this year, which is why I didn't do much then. Luckily it's mostly gone now, but that kept me from some of the stuff I love for a few months. But again, not really an excuse, since that was a while ago.)

I won't stop writing. I've still got some stories. I'm still working on Survival of the Fittest. (Progress is slow. Someone yell at me!) I've got a few one-shot ideas (including more around Leo), but I've got to find that groove again. I don't know that I'll ever fully come back to fanfiction, because let's face it, we all move on. But I'm not leaving entirely. I'll be gone for a while and then pop up again with a super emotional story for y'all. I love Lab Rats, and I love writing here. I won't leave.

Whew! Give yourself a cookie if you got through that. And tell me in the reviews what kind of cookie you gave yourself, just so I know you read this. ;) (I gave myself an M&M cookie, 'cause those are amazing.) Thanks to everyone for reading! Reviews are appreciated but not required. I miss you all a lot, and thank you for being so understanding. Love you all so much! See you soon!

~ Rosie