Drunk as Sin
I was bored and it came to me.
Humor/Parody (NOTE: Conan, and the Detective Boys are the same age they are in series)
I don't own Case Closed, if I did there would be a lot of humor and almost no solving!
The teacher had paired up Conan and Ayumi for a history project (they were going to do it on the Revolutionary War) and they decided to meet at Conan's house, which was also Richard's. Conan was about to go to the house when Genta came in and said, ¨Conan! You have to try this!¨ Conan peered at it and realized it, ¨Genta, that's beer! Don't drink that!¨ Genta laughed, ¨What's the matter? Chicken? Bawk, bawk, bawk! Come on, Conan! Try it! I hear it's wonderful!¨ Conan shook his head and was about to leave when Genta actually put the beer at Conan's mouth. Conan spit, ¨Eew! Genta, what the!¨ Suddenly, he started laughing goofily and started talking about ¨pretty bunnies¨. Genta got a What-Did-I-Fucking-Do look and left to avoid getting caught.
Meanwhile, Ayumi was getting her backpack to go to Conan's house. Ayumi sighed, ¨This is going to be the best project I ever had!¨ Unknown to her, it wasn't going to go out as planned. She went out to Conan's house and left deciding to get there early. She knocked on the door and found a note: Conan, I'm out to work and Ran is at asome lame school thing. Richard. Ayumi saw that Conan hadn't came in yet and decided to spend time until Conan came back. He had to.
One Hour Later
Ayumi was reading anime from a book when suddenly...
Conan comes in hiccupping and laughing giddily with a bottle of alcohol. He starts walking, but it isn't normal walking, it's staggering almost. Ayumi said, ¨What happened to you?¨ Conan laughs and said, dizzyingly, ¨Oh, Genta and I had some beers and then a unicorn attacked Ai and Mitsuhiko. Then a griffin came in and grabbed a beer and I battled the griffin and unicorn and saved Ai and Mitsuhiko. Suddenly, some rabid squirrel came in my way and we got hitched and divorced the next day. Then, I met a caveman and Jesus!¨ Ayumi thought, Yup, he's drunk.
Conan looked horrible! His clothes were askew, his hair was in a ruffled mess, and his new shoes didn t look so new. In fact, one was missing. Ayumi said, ¨Okay, Conan-chan change out of your clothes and put on some different ones!¨ Conan scowled and pouted like a little kid, ¨No!¨ Ayumi said, becoming angry, ¨Conan-chan! Put on some different clothes!¨ Conan growled, ¨No!¨ Ayumi took away his beer and Conan sighed, ¨Fine! I m going to change then, Daffy Duck.¨ Ayumi's eyes widened in shock. Suddenly, Conan disappeared into his room. But he had a different idea. After Ayumi closed the door so no one would enter the house, Conan came back and just as Ayumi was about to shout at him, he started taking off his shirts, pants, shoes, and socks, leaving him in his underwear, which were boxers with images of beer bottles. Ayumi gave a What-The-Fuck look and said, ¨Conan-chan!¨ Conan laughed, ¨Hey, you said that I needed to get off these clothes.¨ Ayumi said, exasperated, ¨You're really drunk.¨ Conan said, ¨You're sexy, Ayumi.¨ Ayumi blushed and was about to shout something when Conan suddenly grabbed his bottle and put it Ayumi s mouth. Ayumi said, ¨Hey, don't...¨ and got a goofy drunk look on her face.
Fifty Minutes Later
Conan and Ayumi were both drunk and laughing at the living room. They were at the couch, both naked and holding beer in their hands. Conan laughed, ¨Hey, I just realized something. I. Poop. I poop alot.¨ Ayumi giggled, ¨And I fart a lot too.¨ Suddenly, Conan grabbed the History book and looked at it. ¨Ooh, a pretty bird!¨ He threw it at the window, knocking a fountain, ¨Fly birdie! Fly birdie!¨ Ayumi giggled, ¨Fly!¨ Then Conan got to the television and used the second book and threw it into the TV. ¨Bulls-Eye!¨ Ayumi laughed, her voice slurred. Suddenly, Ayumi threw a pencil that landed at Conan's eye. ¨YOOOWCH!¨ Conan shouted. Suddenly, he got the pencil out of the eye and laughed. Ayumi joined him laughing too. Suddenly, Conan and Ayumi grabbed the dirty laundry and started throwing it around the room. Ayumi laughed drunk, ¨Hey, Conan. Ever wondered what would happen if we were riding on a dinosaur? I wanna do that!¨ Conan laughed, ¨Yeah, a big one! He-he. Hey, let s go. Let's go!¨ Ayumi and Conan rushed outside to Richard's car. Ayumi laughed, ¨I'll take shotgun!¨ They started the car and started driving, driving like drunkards. A neighbor screamed as he was almost run over by Conan and Ayumi. Conan said to the neighbor, sticking out his middle finger, ¨Hey, get off the road, Mickey Mouse! Go back to fucking Disneyland and fuck Minnie Mouse until she gets pregnant!¨ Another neighbor screamed, ¨No-good teens!¨ Ayumi said to the neighbor, ¨Shut the fuck up, Miss Piggy and go suck on Kermit's penis!¨ Then, Conan said, ¨Ayumi, check the dinosaur and its magic music box.¨ Ayumi got the radio and turned it into a station, playing Shakira's Whenever, Wherever. Ayumi and Conan, both equally drunk, started singing along, ¨Lo ro lo le lo le Lo ro lo le lo le Can't you see...I'm at your feet! Whenever, wherever We ll learn to be together I'll be there and you'll be near And that's the deal my dear They're over, you're under You'll never have to wonder We can always play by ear But that's the deal my dear!¨
Two Hours Later
Ai, Mitsuhiko, and Genta were watching TV when a news reporter shouted, ¨We interrupt this Televised Program to bring you some breaking news.¨ It showed Richard's car battered up after crashing with the bar and Conan and Ayumi were laughing. The news reporter said, ¨Two naked drunk children were drunk driving and crashed into the local bar.¨ It showed again Conan and Ayumi outside, the TV censoring their private parts, still drunk. Conan was waving his arms like an idiot and shouted, ¨I am the lizard king! Fear me, love me, have sex with me!¨ while Ayumi was talking to a man that was shocked at the drunk man as she said, ¨Heh, is it just me or are you the dinosaur king?¨ The voice over said, ¨Although nobody was injured or killed, these two children have caused major destruction from the bar. The parents belonging to those children will have to pay the damage their children, drunk, thought. This leaves this reporter horrified at seeing that parents will let their children drink anything!¨ Ai, Genta, and Mitsuhiko were wide eyed. Ai looked at Genta, ¨Did you dare Conan to drink?¨ Genta blushed a little.
The Next Day
Conan and Ayumi were walking down the hallway. Ayumi said, ¨Oh, man, what are we going to say when the teacher calls us up to show our reports! We were drunk last night!¨ Conan said, ¨On the bright side, at least nobody that we know saw us drunk.¨ However, as he and Ayumi entered the class, they heard snickers behind the door. Conan peeked from the window. He got a hold of the cell phone that was showing he and Ayumi both dancing in the bar naked. He heard one kid say, ¨What a couple of idiots.¨ Conan gulped, ¨Ayumi, you better get a load of this.¨ She peered next to him and gasped. The two became red as the children opened the door and started pointing and laughing. Conan growled, ¨GENTA! You idiot!¨ The teacher came into the classroom. ¨All right, children time for projects.¨ Conan and Ayumi screamed in horror and ran out of the classrooms, leaving the class and teacher shocked.
At Lunch
Conan and Ayumi were chasing at Genta as he screamed in terror. Genta shouted, ¨I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! Don't kill me!¨ Mitsuhiko and Ai watched as their enraged friends chased another friend. Mitsuhiko shrugged, ¨Served Genta right.¨
What'd ya think? Review please!