Mr. and Mrs. Uzumaki
In a tall building in the middle of downtown Konohagakure Kakashi looks out onto the streets. In one hand he holds a pen, which he moved gently. With the other hand he takes the dossier of his next patients from his desk. A fleeting and almost bored glance wanders over the papers. He makes a half turn around his axis and strolls out of the office. On his way to the consulting room he takes a cup of coffee from his intern when he walks past her. With a unremarkable nod he thanks her and takes immediately a sip of the hot pot. The sun began to hide behind the skyscrapers of the city and even Kakashi, who was on his feet all day feels how the exhaustion takes a hold of him.
Slowly and warily he opens the door to the consulting room. Maybe he can overhear a conversation between his quests. But Kakashi cant hear anything not even a sound. As a few seconds long he couldn't hear a sound through the door crack, he decides to walk in. Now he looks in the faces of two young people in her mid thirties. Maybe. The man is tall and has blond hair. He smiles kindly at Kakashi and tugs nervously at his clothes. Though Kakashi noticed a wild and mischievous glint in the eyes of the blond. His wife is also a tall woman, not as tall as he or Kakashi but still above average. She has long black hair, which is slightly curled and lies over her left shoulder. Unlike her husband she examines Kakashi distantly from the corner of her eyes, as he enters the room. Her deep dark eyes mirrors high expectations, not only on him but also on herself. With a warm smile and a firm handshake Kakashi welcomes his guests. Then he takes place on his leather armchair and sits across from them.
KAKASHI: Good evening Mrs. and Mr. Uzumaki. My Name is Kakashi Hatake. What is the reason that has led us here together today ?
NARUTO played smile: First of all I want to say, that we don't really need to be here.
KAKASHI: Why are you both here anyway?
SATSUKI: We have a theory . . .
NARUTO puzzled to Satsuki: Have we?
SATSUKI: The check-up.
NARUTO back to Kakashi: Right the check-up. See, like a car. Since we have been married for five years . . .
SATSUKI interrupts: Six . . .
Silence . . .
NARUTO: Yes. Since we have been married for five, six years we want to let us check. Pop the hood, nose around, change the oil, maybe replace a seal or two.
KAKASHI amused: Well, then lets open the bonnet.
The mood relaxes after the first acquaintance. In the faces of Naruto and Satsuki, Kakashi can now see two soft smiles. Tense but still two smiling faces. During the speech of Naruto about that both of them didn't really need any help, Kakashi already takes notes of eye-catching behaviours. To stop Naruto, he raises his hand slightly. As the blonde looks attentively at Kakashi, he takes a sip of his coffee. Kakashi feels two curious pairs of eyes resting on him as he returns the pot to the table next to him. When he turns back to the two they immediately start smiling again.
KAKASHI: Now then, how would you two assess your situation? Let's say on a scale of one to ten. How happy are you?
SATSUKI unhesitatingly: Eight.
Naruto looks back and forth between Satsuki and Kakashi.
NARUTO: Moment! So like ten being super happy and one being . . . totally miserable?
KAKASHI smiling: Just answer instinctively.
Naruto looks to Satsuki, who doesn't take her gaze from Kakashi.
NARUTO quietly: Ok. Are you ready?
SATSUKI: Ready.
NARUTO AND SATSUKI together: Eight.
Kakashi notices how question by question Satsuki is getting more and more self confident. But her beautiful dark eyes always resting on him and her posture stays stiff. Since the beginning of the meeting she didn't look at her husband, though he always asking her in each question from Kakashi, to be sure he says the right thing. His cerulean eyes roam constantly through the room. He seems to feel uneasy, because he constantly changes his sitting position and plays restless with his fingers on the arm-rest of his armchair. Kakashi has some questions on his mind, but he decides to ask the most important first.
KAKASHI: How often do you have sex?
Narutos and Satsukis faces are frozen.
Silence . . .
SATSUKI stammering: I don't understand the question.
NARUTO: Wait, I am out. Is this a one to ten thing?
SATSUKI continues: Right. I mean if so, is one equal with `not often´ or is one more like `never´? Because to be accurate zero should be `never´.
NARUTO: Exactly! Besides, if we don't know what one is, what's ten?
SATSUKI blushes: Right . . . is ten . . . you know . . .
NARUTO grinning: Permanent and adamant.
SATSUKI: Twenty-four seven without a break. Not for anything.
NARUTO: Not even to eat or a little bowl of ramen. to Satsuki Just like Jiraiya, when he works on one of his books and makes some inquiries.
SATSUKI: Yes. His grandpa has no day job. No one else can waste hours doing nonsense like he does.
KAKASHI soothingly: Don't worry. This is not a one to ten scenario. It is a normal and straight question. How often do you have sex?
Kakashi looks again in two frozen faces and he can't hide a smirk. Both seem to hang on the question. After a few moments have passed and neither Naruto nor Satsuki has awakened from their deep sleep, Kakashi tries to rephrase his question.
KAKASHI sighing: Well, how often this week?
Silence . . .
NARUTO: Including weekend?
A nod. Two sighs.
KAKASHI conforming: Then we continue otherwise. Tell me how you first met, please.
SATSUKI with old self confidence: It was in Mizu no Kuni.
NARUTO nodding: Kirigakure. Five years ago.
SATSUKI looks at Naruto: Six.
NARUTO to Kakashi: Right. Five, six years ago.