Sheppard's Day
Disclaimer: I don't own or have a share in the profits from these characters or the franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
0600 Hours, Colonel John Sheppard's Quarters, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
Colonel John Sheppard was in his quarters at 0600 hours a little pissed off. Rodney had commed him at 0430 to excitedly let him know about some new experiment that may lead to the production of their own ZPM's and it had been about an hour longer than the one minute that he had thought it possible to listen to his friend without heading out to kill him. The night before had been a long one as Mitchell had handed over some more DVD's of recorded football games. The first batch he had watched when SG-1 and General O'Neill had arrived a week before, but Mitchell had shocked him by pulling out another six discs filled with some awesome college and pro games. Thinking that he had until 0800 to sleep, he had foolishly watched football and drank beer until nearly 0200 hours. It just figured that Rodney would wake him up after all of just two hours sleep. Now he couldn't get back to sleep to save his life!
Just as he decided he would get up and start his day early, his comm piece chirped.
"McKay, you better pray that this is important or I will hunt you down and kick your ass!" he said without bothering to find out who it was.
"God dammit! You just had to ruin my morning by bringing up McKay, didn't you?" Jack O'Neill's gruff, no nonsense voice came through quite clearly. And loudly!
Oh fuck! He had just managed to piss off the man who had made his entire career meaningful and enjoyable. Sheppard respected the hell out of Jack O'Neill and all the man had accomplished, both before and after the SGC had been formed.
"Sorry, Sir," he said sheepishly, while he prayed silently that the older mans temper wouldn't flare up. "I thought you were McKay. He woke me up at 0430."
"Don't make excuses, Sheppard," Jack said firmly. "Grab some breakfast to go and get to Carter's office pronto. We have something to run by you."
"Yes, Sir," Sheppard said, though the General had already cut the comm signal. He groaned. This was going to be one of those days. He just knew it. First Rodney had screwed up his lie in. Then he had pissed off the head of everything having to do with Earth's Stargate and space programs. What next?
0630 Hours, Office of Brig. Gen. Carter, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
Sheppard had to suppress a grin as he walked up to the office of his commanding officer and friend. He could see both Sam and General O'Neill in there already. What's more, he could hear them. The General, as usual this whole past week, was whining about his diet.
"Come on, Carter," Jack said in his best immature voice. "Even Keller gave me a good checkup with all those great Ancient doohickeys. What more could you ask for?"
"Carolyn's confirmation," Sam said doggedly.
"But we won't even see her until after the wedding and we head back to Earth for the honeymoon," Jack tried to be reasonable. "Can't I get a little credit built up and enjoy some real food until then?"
"No," Sam said as she leaned back in her chair with a smile.
"You're just punishing me because Jack Jr. hasn't been up to snuff yet," Jack accused.
Jack Jr.? Sheppard had a pretty good idea what was being referred to, but he wisely would keep his mouth shut. He so did not want to go there. Could you imagine it? A brilliant career gets flushed for asking about your superior officers sex life, or lack thereof?
"That has been rather disappointing, I must admit," Sam said with a small blush and a smile as she noticed John walking into the doorway. "Come on in, John."
"Good morning, Sam, General," John said as he sat down and placed his tray on the desk. He noticed the General looking at his waffles, sausage, fried eggs, hash browns, and toast with obvious longing.
"You're to blame for the disappointment, Carter," Jack said with a smirk. "Sticking me with McKay for four hours my first night here put your best friend and biggest fan in a damn coma. Then Space Monkey almost killed him off for good by making me spend even more time with McKay. Now how is that my fault?"
"There's always the option of those lovely blue pills, Jack," Sam teased. She was doing this in front of John to make the point that both she and Jack considered him a close personal friend and trusted him implicitly.
"No," Jack said instantly with derision. "Junior needs no help in that department."
"Then how do you explain your rather 'down' mood this whole last week?" Sam needled.
"It's the city," Jack shot back with a puffed out chest. "The view and setting has made your overwhelming hotness so incredible my animal magnetism and libido have shorted out."
"We can continue this later when we're alone, Jack," Sam said when she felt the point had been made and knew that it was only a matter of seconds before Jack really took the subject and ran with it all morning. Men!
"Right," Jack said as he turned to Sheppard. "We have a favor to ask, Sheppard.""Anything," John answered as he took a bite of his waffles. He couldn't help but notice the look of envy on O'Neill's face.
"You already know we're going on our honeymoon for a week after the wedding," Sam explained. "The President, though, has authorized an extra weeks leave for Jack and we were hoping that perhaps you wouldn't mind running the store for an extra week. With things as busy as they've been the last couple of months I wanted to ask you rather than order you to assume command for longer."
"No problem," John shrugged. He knew he was capable of command, and while he didn't necessarily want command of the city on a permanent basis, he was ready for it if the need ever arose. He could handle two weeks easy.
"Excellent," Jack said with a grin. He looked once more at the food on Sheppard's tray. "Now where the hell's Mitchell? He's on wheelchair duty this morning and was supposed to be here by now."
Once Mitchell had shown up, late in O'Neill's opinion, John and Sam had gone over some admin work that needed some attention and then he left to head for the gym where he was meeting Teyla for a light workout. He shook his head as he considered the antics of SG-1, both the original and the new version and how they interacted with each other. It was a great blending of personalities and abilities, but what amazed him the most was the family feeling he felt from all of them. He could only hope that his own team developed like that. Now his wish for the day was that General O'Neill's 'junior' would recover and the man would finally get some. Never had he seen anyone more in need of getting laid than General O'Neill.
0900 Hours, Infirmary, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
John had come to the infirmary to check on one of his men who had sprained an ankle earlier in the morning during a workout. It had looked worse than it really was, but he would be out of commission for a couple of weeks. Thinking back on the week of tension and frustration between Sam and the General, John decided to have a little talk with Dr. Keller.
"You got a minute?" he asked the relatively new Doctor, though she had been here for over a year now.
"Sure," Jennifer said as she wiped her hands off. "Come on over to my office."
John sat down across from her and sighed. He knew he was asking a lot here, but he was a bit unnerved at some of the antics of the past week, amusing as they may have been.
"Uh, I was wondering what can make a man not, uh..." he trailed off as he suddenly realized exactly what he was asking. Not the question he had ever thought he would be asking anyone.
Jennifer Keller was a quick person who was also extremely observant. She knew right away what Colonel Sheppard was asking, but she wanted to have a little fun at the same time.
"A lot of things, Colonel," she replied in her most serious tone. "Have you been having a little trouble in that area?" she asked, trying to keep from laughing her ass off. She also had to be careful since she had examined General O'Neill, and as a result she could be considered his physician with all the confidentiality obligations that that came with.
John looked horrified at the thought. "Me?? No way!," he said instantly. "It's uh, about a friend of mine. And who the hell said anything about little?" he demanded.
Jennifer laughed. "It's just a joke, Colonel," she said between chuckles. "Take it easy."
John was not amused too much. There were some things that you simply did not joke around about, and his manhood was definitely one of them.
"You're concerned about Jack and Sam, aren't you?" Jennifer asked when she realized that her joke had fallen a little flat.
John sighed. "Yeah," he said finally. "The General mentioned that his, uh, perkiness, let's say, isn't up to snuff yet."
Jennifer grinned. "I know," she revealed.
John shouldn't be too surprised, but he was. SG-1 had been pretty good about keeping their antics to themselves with limited exceptions, himself chief among them.
"Teyla, Vala, Sam, and me had a girls night a couple of days ago and Sam vented a bit," Jennifer revealed.
"So what can cause that?" John asked curiously.
Jennifer had an answer that she could give that had nothing to do with her medical checks on the General. "Performance anxiety," she said calmly.
Sheppard knew that if he had been drinking anything at that moment he would have sprayed the good Doctor. "Performance anxiety?? General O'Neill??" he asked, clearly shocked.
"Sam thinks that, too," Jennifer added. "She's torn between being frustrated or amused."
"Performance anxiety?" John asked again. The whole idea seemed preposterous when applied to someone like General O'Neill.
"Think about it, Colonel," Jennifer tried to explain. "For ten years they kept things at bay because of the regs and their importance to the war against the Goa'uld and then the Ori. Finally they get together and a month later General Carter is transferred here to command Atlantis. Now another year has gone by. General O'Neill isn't as young as he used to be despite the shape he's in and it would not be unusual for a man in that position to be worried about pleasing his fiance."
"Oh," John replied as he thought about her answer. It made sense in a warped sort of way. "But as worked up as he's apparently been the last year?"
"Doesn't mean that performance anxiety can't rear its ugly head when it's crunch time," Jennifer rebutted. She didn't add, since she would, in her opinion, violate doctor/patient confidentiality if she did so, despite the fact that she had not discussed the subject with General O'Neill, that with all the torture the man has endured, it would not be uncommon after an injury of such magnitude as three broken limbs, to have a short period of impotence. It was, in her own view, the body's way of keeping itself protected from further injury during the healing process, as sexual activity was pretty stressful on the body. A whole lot fun, but stressful nonetheless.
"And blaming McKay...?" he prodded.
"It's his own way of dealing with what he feels is a humiliating situation and saving face," Jennifer supplied. "Sam actually finds that part very amusing."
"So do I," John said as he stood up. "Thanks, Doc."
"Anytime," she said as she stood herself. "Now get out of here. I have patients to see to."
1100 Hours, Colonel Sheppard's Office, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
John heard them before he saw them, but he was ready to laugh his ass off with what he heard.
"You mean to tell me that you're more afraid of Carter than me?" General O'Neill demanded of Colonel Mitchell, who was still, apparently, on wheelchair duty.
"With respect, Sir," Mitchell said as he tried valiantly not to get crushed in answering that question, "while you have killed a lot of System Lords and like to blow shit up, Carter has blown up a star, destroyed several Asgard battle cruisers, and kicked some serious Wraith and Replicator ass."
"So you won't get me a snack," O'Neill pouted in his gruff tone.
"Satan himself could be threatening me with an express ride on the Inferno Express, and I would still say no," Mitchell said calmly.
"Fine," Jack grumbled. He noticed that he was now parked in front of Sheppard's desk. "Get out of here, Mitchell. You know what your job is now."
"Go with Daniel to make sure he stays out of trouble exploring," Mitchell sighed deeply.
"Then hop to it," Jack ordered. "Just make sure Space Monkey comes back in one piece."
"What about me?" Mitchell asked. He had been dreading the idea of exploring with Daniel since the General's accident. This was a disaster waiting to happen.
"Ahh, you can handle a couple of broken bones if worse comes to worst," Jack said with a wave of his hand. "See you at dinner, Mitchell."
"Dr. Jackson's off his punishment?" John asked.
"Yeah," Jack replied. "Sam felt he deserved a reward for behaving himself."
"Unlike you, Sir?" John asked with a hint of amusement.
"You'd better learn this now, Colonel," Jack warned. "You could be pure as the driven snow and you would still be in deep shit with your girlfriend after a long separation. I'm pure and I'm still in trouble every damn move I make."
"But you wouldn't have it any other way," John surmised with a cocky grin.
"Damn straight," Jack confirmed with a grin of his own. "Look at when I arrived. I spent a whole week up to my ass in paperwork and loads of overtime in the office from hell to be able to come here as soon as possible, and I arrive in a world of hurt from Carter."
John laughed. "She sure chewed you up and spit you out," he observed.
Jack looked at him suspiciously. "Out with it, Sheppard," he demanded. He may act dumb, but he was extremely aware of what was said and done around him.
John gulped, but didn't back down. "All the offices are monitored, Sir," he admitted. "Sam forgot to turn off the monitor to her office when she hauled your ass in there when you arrived, and she has the only off switch to her office. I was in the security room at the time."
Jack winced. "Anyone else privy to that one?" he asked.
John shook his head. "I removed everyone from the room when the 'discussion' began," he told the older man.
"Thank God," Jack sighed in relief.
"I just have one question, Sir," John continued. "Was she serious when she threatened to have you neutered if you didn't stay in better contact in the future?" He laughed when he saw the pale face of one very seriously whipped Lieutenant General in front of him.
"You have no idea," Jack said in a subdued tone that hinted at how seriously pissed Sam was at the time, though she understood what had been happening on his end. He recovered after a moment and leaned forward. "Now let's see those defense plans you have developed," he ordered, clearly making the change from friendly discussion to senior officer inspection time.
"Yes, Sir," John responded, making the switch in focus. This was the part of the visit he was definitely ready for.
1400 Hours, Colonel Sheppard's Office, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
John was working on some paperwork after his exhaustive meeting with General O'Neill. The man may be different, but he was a tactical and strategic genius in John's opinion. Over the course of a little over two hours O'Neill had appraised and improved upon his defense plans. Some of the ideas had never occurred to John. Then O'Neill had praised him for a job well done. Now that made his day!
"There you are," Teyla said from the doorway. "I thought we were meeting for lunch over an hour ago?"
"Shit," John cursed under his breath. He had completely forgotten. He stood as he shut down his laptop. "I'm sorry," he apologized. He went around his desk and gave her a kiss and hug. Their relationship was fairly new, but he was not about to forget the important stuff. Even O'Neill had given him some advice on that score. 'You can never show too much affection, as long as you don't smother them, or act patronizing,' the older man had said. 'Believe me, I learned that the hard way,' O'Neill had added with a faraway look. O'Neill had even green lighted the relationship and keeping Teyla on the same team, if that is what she chose to do. Technically she was still on the team, but had yet to decide whether to go back on active status in the aftermath of having her baby.
"That's a start," she said with a wry smile. She enjoyed being able to tease him. She had a subdued, but wicked, sense of humor that came out at its best due to their cultural differences. The look on his face delighted her.
"Start?" he asked with a silent prayer for mercy. He was well aware that she was one of the most observant individuals he had ever met and that she had been observing Sam and Jack for the last week very closely.
"You can make it up to me tonight," she said with a breathless quality to her voice which made her slightly husky tone incredibly sexy, almost a seductive drawl.
"Oh," he replied somewhat lamely, though he was already thinking about the night ahead. He felt himself getting a bit uncomfortable in his baggy BDU's and knew he was going to have trouble concentrating on work the rest of the afternoon. Thank God he had no such problems as 'performance anxiety' on his end. He'd leave that issue to the General.
Teyla smiled. She knew exactly what she was doing and considered her mission successful. She had never understood the games the people of Earth played regarding sex. Her own people were very forthright and if one wanted someone, then they said so directly. Now that she was involved with John, she was beginning to understand the almost teasing quality that Terran mating practices held and appreciated them. It had an anticipatory thrill that equaled that of impending battle.
"General Carter and I are going to have lunch together instead," she told him as she moved her hands down to squeeze his ass a bit and give it a firm pat. "I suggest you get your work done so we can continue this discussion later."
"No problem," he told her as he groaned in his mind. How the hell was he supposed to concentrate on anything now? He watched as she walked off, mesmerized by the sight. He looked at his watch. Only a little after 1400 hours. Damn! The afternoon was going to be an eternity. Then he remembered something. Crap! He was meeting Lorne and his principle security team leaders for a very important meeting that evening after dinner. He'd put it off several times already and couldn't again. Would he ever catch a break? The General may not be getting some, but John was. Now his frustration would continue well into the evening. Maybe he should ask Teyla if she was interested in a quickie before dinner. Yeah right. Quickie wasn't in her vocabulary as far as he could see. 'If you're going to do something, you may as well do it right' almost seemed to be a credo to her when it came to sex. Not that he was complaining, but it made times like this almost unbearable.
1645 Hours, Office of Colonel Sheppard, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
John was miserable. He'd finished yet another worthless piece of paperwork that he was dead certain that no one would ever read again once it was filed. Who could possibly be interested in an inventory of cheap, old style hard case floppy discs that some idiot had sent along in the last shipment of technical supplies? Yet he had to account for every one of the damn things. All the while he was working on the trivial bullshit he was thinking of Teyla.
Now that was a subject he could really spend time on and never get bored. In the past four years since he had met her he had been intrigued and interested, but never thought that a relationship would be possible. First was the issue of them being on the same team. Then he was sure that she did not return his feelings. Now he knew better. He'd heard from Mitchell and Daniel that it had been Sam giving General O'Neill a good swift kick in the ass to get their relationship started, and it had been pretty much the same thing with he and Teyla. Sam had simply spelled it out for Jack, but Teyla had been a bit more direct. He smiled as he remembered her 'direct' approach.
He'd been tired and sweaty from a long workout with Ronon, though the big guy had toned it down a few notches so he wouldn't be too wiped out, and had opened the door to his quarters not paying attention to anything other than moving to the shower in his bathroom. He heard a slight chuckle and turned to see a sight to behold right on his bed. Teyla was laying there, propped up on her elbows, naked! Oh my God! he had thought at the time. She had been even more magnificent than he had ever imagined. Over the course of the night she had made it clear that she was very appreciative of his attributes, and he hoped that he had made it clear the opposite was equally true in relation to her many charms.
That had been five weeks ago and he was still shocked at her voracious sexual appetite. If her teasing this afternoon was any indication, he was in for a great night ahead. 'Not soon enough, though,' he thought to himself. He still had that damn meeting with Lorne and his security teams. He'd canceled several of their meetings for the same reason: Teyla. Jack had been pretty clear that while the relationship was okay in his opinion, it had also better not interfere with his duties. Canceling another meeting with Lorne for a night of hot sex was definitely interfering. Damn!
Taking a deep, calming breath, he turned his attention to the next ridiculous bit of mindless trivia that was taking up his valuable time. He blinked twice and shook his head to make sure he was seeing what he was seeing in front of him. A report on the need for a new shipment of condoms?? It even had the necessary requisition forms! He just knew that someday some chair warming son-of-a- bitch would see this and give him the unofficial nickname of Chief Condom Procurement Officer of Atlantis! What was he, some kind of sex monitor? Before he forgot, though, he put himself down to receive several of the mega boxes. With Teyla's sex drive he was damn sure going to need them! He groaned realizing that his afternoon was not going to go by any faster than it already had.
1800 Hours, Commissary, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
John had been surprised and happy that SG-1 had invited him to dine with them at their table. Like his own team, SG-1 had commandeered a table the first day and always ate together. His own team saw him and already knew where he was eating that evening. Even Teyla had an amused look on her face and blew him a quick kiss, further teasing him. He would love to kill the person who taught her to tease the way she did. Alone he loved it, but she had some crazy notion that he wanted her to do so when he couldn't do a damn thing about it. No that wasn't it. She was really making it clear that he was hers and he could expect definite proof of that soon. He groaned at the unfairness of his life. Here he had a beautiful woman who wanted him, like right now damn it, and he had to spend a lot of time doing other things before getting to the reward.
He got a tray loaded with food and sat down at 'The Big Table' as many now thought of it. He even noticed that Daniel and the General had a bit of real food on their trays. Not a lot, but some. Of course it was balanced with a heaping salad, no dressing, and two rice cakes. He himself had a steak, steak fries, green beans, a dish of potato salad, a piece of watermelon, and a large slice of apple pie.
"I see the dietary restrictions are being eased up," he said good humoredly.
Jack and Daniel frowned. Each had just taken a bite of salad, apparently saving the real food for desert, such that it was.
"How about we have a talk with Teyla about you maybe needing a diet plan, too?" Jack commented with an evil smirk.
"I think that's a great idea, Jack," Daniel said from his spot next to Vala.
"Not on your life," John shot back instantly. There was no way in hell he would go on such a diet. No way, no how!
Vala leaned forward conspiratorially. "You know, Sam, maybe we should recommend this diet for all the senior level men on the base until full medical checks can be given and any 'issues' that show up get resolved," she suggested with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
Sam chuckled. Leave it to Vala to come up with an idea to really ramp up the emotions. "Maybe," she mused.
"I insist on being left out of any such 'plan'," Teal'c said confidently from his spot.
"What did I do?" Mitchell whined from his spot where he was trying to avoid any transgression that would put him on anyone's shit list.
That was when John noticed a bandage on Mitchell's forehead just above his right eye. "What happened to you?" he asked, immediately concerned.
Mitchell glared at Daniel. "Jackson was too engrossed in checking out a control panel and forgot to mention the low hanging arch just around the corner," he explained. "I ran into it and got knocked out."
"You only needed five stitches," Daniel reasonably pointed out. He was not going down on this one. He had not bumped any misplaced control panels, and had not touched anything on the control panel he had been examining. He knew that if he had, then Sam would definitely take away exploring privileges again, or worse, make him spar with Teal'c, who oddly enough wanted him to suffer a bit. What had he done to Teal'c??
"I am in tip top shape," John forcefully pointed out.
"We can table this discussion until Vala and I have a chance to discuss it with Teyla and Jennifer," Sam said as she smiled benignly at the guys.
"Make damn sure that you're there for that one, Sheppard," Jack ordered gruffly. "And definitely make sure that if they want to proxy the damn meeting, you don't let Mitchell anywhere near it. If he is, you're screwed before it's even started. His proxy skills suck!"
"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. He was beginning to silently resign himself to probably having the retched diet thrust upon him at some point, especially if Cameron Mitchell was allowed to proxy like he was forced to do for O'Neill. He made a note to himself to have a little friendly conversation with Daniel Jackson as soon as possible to let him know how little he appreciated his contribution to this trip. If someone had to suffer, it may as well be Daniel Jackson.
John decided that it was more than time to move this onto friendlier terms, though the humor of this whole conversation was apparent. He had spent a few years studying SG-1's mission reports and due to his interest in Asian history had a question.
"I was wondering about a group of people you guys ran into at the start of the program," he said when it had quieted down a bit.
"Which one?" Sam asked. Everyone in Atlantis was more than cleared for these kinds of conversations.
"The Shavadai," John replied. "They seemed pretty interesting, but the mission reports seemed a bit vague."
He noticed the the General, Daniel, and Teal'c glare at him. He also noticed Sam's eyes narrow and her knuckle turn white as she gripped the arm rests of her chair. Daniel looked to be silently praying, the General looked up at the sky and muttered 'Will I ever get laid again?', and Teal'c closed his eyes in a dramatic fashion.
"What would you like to know?" Sam asked slowly and softly.
"Uh, I was hoping that Daniel could offer a comparison with what we know of Mongol tribes on Earth," John hesitantly told them. He didn't know what was going on, but apparently it had not been as cut and dried a mission as the reports had made it out to be. The three guys actually looked like the fires of Hades were about to descend.
Daniel gulped once and then looked at Sam. "I can do that," Daniel said with as much inner fortitude as he could muster. He just knew that one wrong move and he would have his exploring ended yet again.
John settled back to listen, all the while wondering what was so awful that everyone was reluctant to bring up the subject. Oh well. He had asked a legitimate question, so he wasn't going to worry about it now. This was at least more interesting than his upcoming meeting with Lorne and would keep his mind occupied with things other than his upcoming night with Teyla. He would just have to fight off laughing at the expressions on the General's and Teal'c's faces as Daniel talked. Hopefully the rest of dinner would be as entertaining as the first part.
2000 Hours, Major Lorne's Security Section, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
Well that had been fun. Not! John had been treated to a very scary confrontation with General O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, and Teal'c after dinner had mercifully ended. The trio had been waiting for him to emerge from the commissary after he checked in with his team, and let Teyla know that their little 'rendezvous' would be delayed for a couple of more hours.
"We want a word with you, Sheppard," Jack had said as he walked out of the commissary.
John had been startled at seeing the three of them there, but had resigned himself to his fate. Then the warning had been delivered.
"First, under no circumstances will the subject of the Shavadai be brought up within earshot of Carter ever again," Jack had ordered in his most fearsome commanding officers voice.
"Indeed," Teal'c had intoned with a rather stern look at John.
"Can I ask why?" John had asked curiously. All he'd done was ask a question about Mongolian nomads. What the hell was wrong with that?
"No," Daniel interjected quickly and forcefully.
"Next on the all important list of no-nos is to never joke or mention in earshot of Carter, or any of the other women for that matter, the diet that Space Monkey and I are suffering through," Jack gave as his second order. This was serious if all three were looking at him like he was the demon spawn from hell.
"Indeed," Teal'c had said again, this time with an even sterner glare. He had thrown in the glare to Daniel as well, though John had no idea why.
John had then been warned what would happen if he violated said rules and caused the guys to be more miserable than they already were. As to what he had been threatened with, let's just say that John was thinking that being nailed in the family jewels with a Goa'uld pain stick would be better than what Teal'c had threatened him with. Even Jack and Daniel had cringed a bit, which meant that the Big Guy was pretty worked up about the whole situation. Sam had once described Teal'c as a great big pussy cat. Now John was sure that that description was dead wrong. John would definitely have to enlist Ronon as a body guard in the near future if things got a little heated.
He'd at least been able to appease Jack and Daniel somewhat, though. He'd let them know that he kept a pretty good sized supply of 'comfort' food in his quarters. Pie, cake, donuts and the like were all there. He'd told them that they could hide out there and have a little 'snack' while he was at his meeting. Naturally the two hungry men accepted his offer once they made sure that Teal'c would not spill the beans in an effort to curry favor with Sam. He imagined them in there now gorging themselves. He made a note to get some more supplies in the next couple of days to replenish his stash.
"Are we done yet?" he asked Lorne as the other man dismissed the rest of the security forces.
"That does it, Colonel," Lorne replied as he shut down his tablet.
"Turn on the security camera in my quarters," John ordered as he came over to join Lorne at the bank of security monitors. He needed to check and see if the guys had finished their dessert fest or if he needed to meet up with Teyla in her quarters.
"Sure thing," Lorne responded as he punched in a few commands.
Sure enough the two legends of the SGC were sitting there gorging themselves on cake. By the looks of it they had ate pretty much all of his comfort food and were enjoying every second of it. Just as he was about to have the video feed shut down and contact Teyla to let her know they would be meeting at her place, the door to his quarters opened all of a sudden and there, large as life stood Teyla.
"Oh shit!" John said very loudly. He turned to Lorne and told him to shut it down. "Not one word to anyone on what you saw on that monitor, or I'll make sure you have the worst duty in the history of the military," he said with definite menace. He ran out of the security section at full tilt, praying that he could get this monumental disaster cleared up with no bloodshed.
2005 Hours, Colonel Sheppard's Quarters, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
Sheppard raced down the corridor to his quarters once he beamed to the right level. All the while he was thinking about the, gulp, imminent punishment he would be facing from the trio of peeved men that had confronted him earlier if they got nailed for something he had done. Why did Teyla have to show up right then to wait for him? He said he'd contact her when he was through with Lorne. Then he thought of how their relationship started five weeks before and he smiled, realizing that she was thinking along the same lines for tonight. As he rounded the corner he saw her standing in his doorway.
"You really don't have to let Carter know what you saw when you walked in," he heard the General say in a rather interesting octave. He stifled a chuckle.
"And just what was it that I saw?" Teyla asked with a raised brow.
By that time John had arrived at the door and looked in. He saw the General and Daniel with a plate of cake each and the remains of all the other goodies laying around them. They had really chowed down. Obviously the diet was pretty lousy if they were that hungry.
"We were making sure that Sheppard here didn't have any tainted food?" Jack tried. "You know all that trouble with e-coli and all that was going around. Me and Danny Boy figured we could be his official taste testers."
"Of course," Teyla said in her most feigned skeptical tone. She hid her smile at the antics of these two. Sam had spoken of them often since she assumed command of the city and the past week had confirmed most of it. They acted like a couple of kid brothers vying for attention when bored. She also knew that when it really counted, Sam trusted them, Teal'c, Vala, and Colonel Mitchell to work miracles. Such trust, and devotion, was rare in Teyla's experience.
"Come on Space Monkey," Jack said with a sigh of obvious resignation. "We better get out of her and start praying for a miracle.
Daniel nodded and pushed Jack's wheelchair out of John's quarters, nodding to the two of them when they passed. He himself was wondering if he'd ever get to spend some uninterrupted time exploring before they left Atlantis in three weeks.
"So," Teyla said with a smirk when they were alone. "Do you have any idea what I discovered when I walked in?" she asked with a chuckle.
John was a bit confused. Teyla didn't seem to be too upset by this whole thing. "A couple of guys having a little snack?" he offered.
"I'd say I walked in on two men who had conspired with a third man to break the rules," she replied as she walked over to the bed and bent down to pick up some of the remains of the 'snack'.
John groaned as he got a perfect view of her gorgeous derrière. He was beginning to wonder what his 'punishment' was going to be. Fortunately it was Teyla who was here and not Sam.
"You have to admit, Teyla, that they are pretty deprived at this point," John pointed out as he walked over and sat on the bed.
"I know," Teyla laughed. "Sam and Vala's plan is going wonderfully."
John shot her a quizzical look. "Sam and Vala's plan?" he asked.
"I think I can trust you not to let on about it, as long as you don't ruin it," Teyla told him with a look of affection.
"Okay, spill it," he told her a bit impatiently, hoping that his voice was not too out of line. She was a very patient person by nature, but she had a temper when she felt she was being ordered about needlessly or inappropriately.
"Sam waited a long time for General O'Neill to come to his senses and admit he was in love with her and wanted them to be together," Teyla began. "Then when they were together, she was transferred here about a month later. This assignment is exciting for her, but she was not interested in it and expected the General to protest it as well, but he didn't. They communicate all the time, but she is still in doubt about the full extent of their relationship."
"But the General asked her to marry him," John protested.
"Yes, he did, and she is very happy about that, but it doesn't lessen her uncertainty," Teyla tried to explain. Men didn't seen to understand emotions very well in her opinion, and John was just as clueless as General O'Neill at times.
"Uncertainty?" he asked. This was not making sense to him. He also noticed that Teyla was lazily running her hand up and down his thigh, teasing him by lightly gripping his inner thigh when she came within a short bit of his rising interest. He tamped down his mental awareness of that as much as he could so he could concentrate on what she was saying.
"General O'Neill has not mentioned once about when she might be reassigned to Earth as this was only supposed to be a one year assignment," she told him. "She is beginning to wonder if this relationship is going to work if he is not willing to make a concerted effort to have her nearby."
John looked astonished. "I don't think that is really up to the General," he patiently told Teyla, thinking perhaps she was not aware that there was a whole layer of bureaucracy that O'Neill would have to fight through to get Sam Carter transferred back to Earth. That was also assuming that O'Neill would be willing to engage in nepotism, which given the ten years he held his feelings at bay due to the chain of command John highly doubted he would. It was the General's way of showing Sam just how much he respected her, both as a soldier and a person. He explained his suspicions to Teyla.
"And Sam recognizes that," she acknowledged. "But that's intellectually. Emotionally it's different."
"So the diet, the ass chewing, and all that other stuff is an emotional tantrum?" John asked, amazed that Sam would do something like that.
"To a degree, but all of those issues have an underlying cause that is genuine and serious," Teyla offered. "Could you see me stand by and not take charge as your health declined, no matter how fit you appeared to be? Would I not be angry if you had not contacted me for some time, though the means and opportunity were readily there? Would I not be angry if you had foolishly injured yourself by doing something that had not been cleared by the people who knew more about what you were exploring than yourself?"
Now that made sense to him. He may not understand the emotional stuff, but he could see Teyla doing exactly as Sam had been doing if the situations were reversed. "But what about Vala?" he asked curiously.
"She's scared and unsure," Teyla laughed. "While Sam knows without doubt that Jack loves her with no reservations, Vala is uncertain as to Daniel."
"What?" he asked a bit shocked. The tone of his voice was pretty clear how shocked he was.
"For the first time in her life she is passionately in love with someone, and while he is her lover, it took a long time for him to even admit he had any sort of feelings for her outside of being colleagues. Even now he shies away from any serious talk about commitment and has never hinted about the idea of marriage," Teyla explained patiently. She had a big request and wanted him to understand this clearly.
"She knows Daniel's past, doesn't she?" John asked. He knew about how Daniel had become involved with the SGC once it had been formed and he had returned from Abydos.
"Yes," Teyla admitted, "but she has very few female friends and she admires and respects Sam more than anyone. She sees Sam acting this way to the General and sees the General accept it. He may not be happy, but he's doing it for her. Vala is emulating that somewhat and believes that if Daniel accepts it then she can be sure of her place in his life. It is a bit immature, but it is real nonetheless."
"I guess I can understand that," John said after he had taken a moment to process it.
Teyla moved closer and let her hand stray closer to her ultimate target. "I have a very large favor to ask of you," she told him directly, ignoring the obvious innuendo. She would get to that later.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" John resigned himself.
"I seriously doubt it," she let him know. "I want you to be part of this and go through whatever Sam and Vala decide to do to everyone else. They want the General and Daniel to think that if they have to toe the line, especially when it comes to their health, then everyone can go through what they do."
"Okay," John sighed. He couldn't believe it. Not only was he being threatened by the guys, he now had to suffer just like them. Oh well. At least he had Teyla to keep him happy. "Now can we get to the part where we get naked and sweaty?" he asked with his best puppy dog eyes and face.
"Not right now," Teyla said regretfully as she patted the growing evidence of his arousal.
"What?" he almost screeched, but kept his voice a couple of octaves below that point. Now this was not fair at all. He hadn't done anything wrong and he had nothing wrong with his 'junior', thank you very much. What the hell was going on??
"Sam's in her office and I need to go speak with her to let her know that you are aware of what is going on and have agreed to help," she said simply. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon." She ended it with a very deep kiss, showing him that she was very interested in some other activities when she got back. She left him a little dazed, sitting on the bed watching her as she walked away.
"We are so whipped," he said to 'junior' as he looked down at his seriously disappointed piece of anatomy. "You better be up to snuff when she gets back. There will be no 'performance anxiety' bullshit in these quarters 'junior.'" He laid back and tried to think of anything that was unrelated to Teyla and how incredible the sex would be when she returned. He just knew he would be waiting for awhile. Damn!
2320 Hours, Quarters of Colonel John Sheppard, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
He'd tried. He honestly had. The first hour after Teyla had left to go have her little talk with Sam, he'd done everything he could to stay focused on anything but what was coming up later, no pun intended. One more stern lecture to 'junior' about 'performance anxiety' to make sure he understood his very important role for the evening and he'd settled back with another football game and a beer. That had been his undoing. The lack of sleep from the night before due to McKay's interruption of sleep at the ungodly hour of 0430 had taken too much of a toll. Try as he might, he never stood a chance. Sleep was calling to him, and as much as he fought it, it took hold with it's traitorous claws and he sunk into a deep slumber, 'junior' at something close to attention, though calmed a bit from earlier, and ready for his part that evening.
That was how Teyla found him when she walked into John's quarters much later than she had expected. A laugh bubbled up from within as she took in the sight. She had been unfair to John all day, she was willing to admit, but it had been a lot of fun seeing him deal with her flirting and teasing. Sam and Vala had been working with her on those skills, which she now felt were essential. Then she noticed 'junior' at half mast under the covers.
"Now who's being unfair," she chided 'junior' quietly as she went over and quickly stripped off her clothes. She was pretty sure that John was naked under the covers and while she was not going to do anything, tonight, she wanted to sleep with him without any barriers. That way in the morning she could wake him up with a nice surprise.
As this was happening, a dormant, yet aware, part of John's brain registered what was happening. He was too damn tired to do anything and he slept on, but he had one thought outside of imagining how unfair this whole fucking day had been from the moment McKay had woke his ass up. That thought was that he was going to meet up with General O'Neill and the two of them would become the founding members of the 'Hurt and Maim Rodney McKay Society.' He'd even let the General in on the citrus secret that had worked so well against McKay in the past.
"At least I don't have to worry about performance anxiety from you," Teyla said with a smile as she wrapped herself against John's side and sighed happily. If she couldn't have sex with the man at the moment, at least she could have the next best thing: a real life John Sheppard body pillow. She hoped tomorrow would go better for him since she had heard about the full extent of his day from various sources. SG-1 sure made life interesting on Atlantis.