My phone vibrated loudly next to my bed. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before reading it.

"Sam! There's a new bacon flavored smoothie at the Groovy Smoothie. Meet me and Freddie here now!" Carly. Oh Carly. We were best friends for a reason.

I rolled out of bed and looked at the time. 2 PM. I pulled on a pair of day old shorts, left on the tank top I'd slept in, and brushed my teeth. I wanted to run all the way to the Groovy Smoothie but it was just too hot. The heat was making me want to pass out. If only Mom ever drove me anywhere. But for the sake of bacon, I walked.

I pushed open the door and as the AC refreshed me, I shouted, "WHERE'S THE NEW SMOOTHIE?"

Freddie and Carly were sitting at our regular table, and both started laughing hysterically.

"What did you text her?" Freddie asked, "I can't believe it actually worked."

"There's no bacon smoothie, Sam. I just knew you'd never get your lazy butt out of bed if I didn't make something up."

"You lying bitch." I sat next to them, "What do you guys need?"

"It's about Wendy's birthday party. Do you think we should have it on iCarly, or the next day?" Freddie had a notepad in front of him, and was chewing on the end of his pen as he thought.

"We also need to get together a list of snacks and music," Carly added, "and a guest list."

"So why did you need me?" I slumped onto the table.

"It was your idea to have the party in the first place," she laughed, "Plus, you've been spending your entire summer sleeping. You barely come out with us anymore."

"I haven't only been sleeping." I groaned, "I've been catching up on my Fat Cakes."

"I can tell," Freddie poked the side of my stomach. I sent him a glare that I knew scared the living shit out of him. Carly didn't say anything. I knew I was putting on weight. Not a lot, but I sure didn't have a summer body like Carly had been working on. She looked good in a bikini. I stuck to board shorts, or just avoiding the beach with them at all costs.

As Carly and Freddie discussed her birthday more, I fiddled with my straw. It wasn't a bacon smoothie. It was a stupid Strawberry Splat. The bacon flavor could be like, Bacon Boom, Bash, Bang, or Blast. How the hell did they come up with cute flavor names? My intense thinking was interrupted when Freddie's cell phone rang. It was the Galaxy Wars theme.

"Oh my gosh," I giggled, "You are such a dork."

He started to get up as he listened to whoever was on the phone, then quickly said, "I gotta go, I'll come over later, Carly."

She nodded, and he left. He didn't even look at me. No "see you later, Sam." or "I'll stop by your place, Sam." I mean, seeing my mom wasn't exactly always nice, but she wasn't home half the time anyway. I wouldn't mind cleaning up the place a bit for them to come over, but they never even asked.

I looked over at Carly, "Soooooo…"

"What's been bothering you?" she snapped suddenly, "Tell me right now, Sam."

"What do you mean?" I laughed, "Nothing's been bothering me."

"You never come over, you never call or text me. You sleep all day, eat and watch TV all night. You've been really quiet, and you barely messed with Freddie. You're not acting yourself."

I shrugged. "Nothing's wrong."

"Sam, you know I really care about you. Please talk to me." She frowned, "Is it your mom? A guy? What?"

"It's not my mom." I laughed again, "I stopped giving a shit about her a long time ago."

I didn't want to tell her. I really didn't. It had to do with her, it had to do with Freddie. It would just ruin everything between all of us if I really opened up to her. But she was the only person in the world that I trusted and knew cared about me.

"So it's a guy?" Carly smirked, "We're best friends, you're not allowed to keep boy stuff away from me!"

"Carls, I really don't think this is the time and place to talk to you about it." I shifted in my seat uncomfortably, "I don't really know what's going on or how to explain it. It's weird."

I stared at her. She was perfect. Everything he wanted, and she didn't want him back. And there I was, dying to be her. I was never a jealous person. I was always proud of myself and confident with guys. All guys but Freddie.

She was staring straight back at me trying to figure everything out.

"It's nothing new, I mean, it's been like this for years…" So what made this summer any different, Sam? Why can't you hide it anymore?

"Wanna go back to my place? Spencer's not home. He's at some art convention." She stood up and put her bag on her shoulder, "Come on."

I stood up, too, and followed her. When we got inside, she headed for the kitchen, but I just collapsed on her couch. I missed it.

"Do you promise not to say anything or to laugh?" I sighed, "Or get mad?"

"I swear. Ankle shake." She sat next to my head.

"I don't feel like getting up but okay." I picked at the nail polish that was chipping off my fingers. "I'm completely gaga for a guy, but he's been in love with another girl for years." I didn't want her to know. Just the general idea would hopefully make me feel better and satisfy her curiosity.

"What's his name?" She asked, "Aw, Sam, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Carly, this is the first time I've ever felt so envious that it makes me cry. And I don't cry often, you know that." I mumbled. I felt the tears coming. It was like I was pmsing for the past month straight, completely absorbed in my mind, daydreaming about Freddie and how badly I wished he loved me, not her. "I don't get what makes her so much better, Carly, I really don't. I'm just such a bitch, but I can't help but be a bitch to him."

"Sam, sit up." She said, "Look at me."

I sat up and looked at her like she said to. A tear rolled down my cheek. The only other time I'd cried in front of her was when we got in a fight, and when I had to get that stupid job at that chili place. "I don't know what else to say."

"What's his name, Sam? How long has this been going on?" Carly got me a box of tissues.

"I don't know, years? I've liked him for so long but he's always loved y- her, and I can't fucking control my feelings, and I don't know why it's completely overwhelming me this summer. I see the way he looks at her, and I wish he'd look at me that way."

I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. I'd been holding it in for so long. I didn't want her to be there when I finally let it all out, but she fucking was, and there was nothing I could do about it now. She was going to find out. I could never hate her or anything, I'd always love her more than ham, but what was so special about her?

"Years, Sam? And you never told me about him? What about Jonah and Freddie's techie friend that we were obsessed with? How come you told me about them but not this guy?" I could tell from her voice that she was slightly aggravated with me.

"You wouldn't understand, Carly. I can't tell you. I just can't." I wiped my eyes. Her door suddenly opened, and Freddie walked in. I looked up at him. I remembered the last time he walked in on me crying to Carly; I screamed at him until he left. But I just stared at him.

"Sam, are you okay?" He asked. I sniffled, stood up, and walked to the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Really fucking fine, Freddie." I slammed the door shut and ran down the hall as fast as I could. I'm not a fucking crybaby. I kept telling myself that as I ran, until the tears stopped. I found myself home, slamming my bedroom door shut, collapsed on my bed, crying into the pillow.

Don't cry. Stop crying. He's stupid. He's just stupid.

She's beautiful. She's smart. She's nice. She's funny. She's cute. She's charming. She's so fucking perfect.

He's not stupid, I'm stupid.

The thoughts echoed through my mind over and over, until I fell asleep. I don't know how long I slept. Mom never came to check on me. She probably never even came home. I didn't really care anymore. I never really cared.