((I am sooooo horrible for writing this xD BLAME MY GIRLFRIEND! This is mainly for her. She seems to think that StoickxAlvin is a good pairing. I ... doubt that xD Sooo, yeah. Here is my attempt at some AlvinxStoick smut. This is more based in Riders of Berk than the books. I only got to read the first book. I can NEVER seem to find the others.
I kind of had this thought - and it might be disproven in the show - but Alvin and Stoick were once friends. That's why they are so angry with each other. It's more of a personal 'I can't believe you would do this!' thing.
This is a one-shot xD AND, SERIOUSLY! BLAME MY GIRLFRIEND! xD I am so sorry for this.
And, I apologize for one more thing - I fail at writing as Stoick or Alvin. The way they talk - if I don't hit the mark right, I am so sorry.
I think this will be two chapters. Feels right. Woooo, onto the smut!))

"Ain't he a lil' small?" Alvin asked, holding up the baby. "Wot kinda Chief has a son this small?"

"He isn't that small." Stoick took the child from Alvin.

"He's smaller than that girl wot was born a few weeks ago."

"He was also born early, Alvin. I'd appriciate you not insultin' my son."

"He's a hiccup!"

"And, that's why his mother chose the name Hiccup." Alvin winced a bit. That name was going to follow his son around forever. He hope that the gods would bless the boy. Make him big and strong. Make his name not matter. "He's 'er lil' Hiccup."

"And where is that woman anyway?"

"She went to the other islands to bring her parents to see Hiccup. She'll be back within a week."

"Goes off an' leaves 'er husband at home with a baby. The chief no less! Yer not gonna get any work done. If you'd just let me ..."

"Alvin, you are not taking over my duties. Even for a short time." Stoick eyed his friend. Lately, Alvin had been acting weird. He seemed to want more control than he had. He was always offering to take over Stoick's duties and the one time Stoick let him, it had turned out to be a mistake. Alvin fought with most of the island inhabitants. It took Stoick weeks to get things straight again.

"Stoick I can handle it. Don't ya trust me?"

"Alvin, you know what happened last time. Gobber didn't talk to me for a week after what you did!"

"So? Don't like that fella anyway. Awfully chummy with ya." Alvin watched as Stoick lay the child in a small pile of blankets. The baby cooed lightly and wriggled a bit, soon fast asleep. Alvin kicked at the blankets lightly. "Why ain't it screamin'? Don't babies scream?"

"He isn't much of a complainer, Alvin. Not all babies cry all the time. He'll cry when he needs something. Stop kickin' his blankets!"

The two made their way out of the small room and towards the hearth. Stoick poked at the embers, trying to get the fire going a bit stronger. He relaxed back. "Alvin, wanna get us a cup?"

"It's yer house, Stoick. I ain't ya maid. Besides, I can't be trusted."

Stoick groaned. "Alvin, that isn't what I meant. And you know it. You've been acting funny lately. You seem to want my place as chief."

"So what if I do?" Alvin grumbled.

That clearly caught the chief off guard. He froze and stared across at Alvin. Alvin wanted to be chief? Was Alvin activly working to take his place? Was he and that group he hung around with responsible for what was going wrong it Berk the past few weeks? The missing fish. Missing farm animals. Destroyed homes.

"If yer sayin' ..."

"I ain't sayin' nothin', Stoick. Just letting ya know where I stand."

"That's saying something, Alvin."

"Well! I deserve it! I ain't got a family. I got tha skills! Yer gonna be busy with that scruff of a baby. I bet it don't survive the winter."

"Don't you dare say anythin' about my son, Alvin. He's going to make it."

"And he'll always be yer lil' embarassment, eh, Stoick? Yer son ain't gonna make it. An' ya know what? When he doesn't yer gonna be a mess. Ya can't lead these people, Stoick. I can."

Stoick slammed his fist down on the hearth. That seemed to catch Alvin off guard and he pulled back, before glaring across at Stoick. "Ya ain't gonna listen to me, are ya?"

"You're over steppin' your bounds, Alvin. Remember your place. I'm the chief, Alvin. And you don't know how to lead these people. You'd starve them before the winter is over! You'd do away with all the vikings who are missing parts! You'd get rid of the weak children like Hiccup."

"O' course. Why wouldn't I? Berk would be the strongest village around. We could take over the other islands, Stoick. Imagine it." Alvin grabbed hold of the chief's arm, pushing him back into his chair. "We could rule, you and me."

"And where would that leave my son? My wife?"

"Wot do I care 'bout them? They'd be useless to us. And then, I could 'ave you all to meself."