Variety Is The Spice Of Life:
- Grimmjow had a problem. Grimmjow had fallen in love, but was out of practice. Ichigo saw a one chance opportunity to get with his life long crush. Is he willing to take it at the risk of their friendship? And who was it Grimmjow had fallen in love with but was so unwilling to tell Ichigo about?
Disclaimer: I do not own any right to Bleach or any of the characters in the story.
Warnings: Yaoi (boy x boy), fluffiness.
"I'm ready."
Ichigo looked up from the book he was reading, his eyes landing on his friend and roommate, Grimmjow who had just made the oddest proclamation he had ever heard. "Bend over then." He finally replied, returning to his book and he propped a foot on the table.
"Ha ha." Grimmjow replied dryly and Ichigo looked at him again, a smile evident on his face. "That's not what I meant."
"So what did you mean?" Ichigo set his book down and looked at his friend intently.
Grimmjow sighed, his forehead creased in thought. "I'm ready to settle down. You know fall in love, get married and all that." When Ichigo didn't respond he sighed in agitation, looking around. Then he grabbed the spice rack that was sat on the side. "Think of it like this, each spice is a different type of person ok?"
"Ok?" Ichigo responded slowly. All he could think that his friend was losing his mind.
Grimmjow had never spoken about this before, about love and settling down. Grimmjow was a player there was no denying it, a new fling every few months, none lasting longer than a few weeks at best. Ichigo had seen them all come and go, keeping his mouth shut about his friend's promiscuous ways. Grimmjow didn't seem to have a type, he'd dated both mean and women of all shapes, sizes and races and now introducing spices to his explanation just made the whole thing even crazier.
And that was why Ichigo loved him.
The excitement that Grimmjow seemed to emanate always made Ichigo feel so alive. But more than that the man made him happy, feel alive when they were together. He always had done, ever since they were kids. After his mother's death the grief had swallowed Ichigo whole and nothing his family said or did helped him. Then the new kid arrived at school and they hit it off immediately, it was the first time Ichigo had smiled and laughed in months.
They had been friends ever since. Ichigo didn't remember when his feelings for Grimmjow changed, when he realised he had a crush. He didn't know when the crush became love or when he had realised he was in love either. For as long as Ichigo could remember he had loved his best friend, and he could never tell him. Every time Grimmjow ended things with one of his flings a spark of hope would appear in Ichigo. By the time he worked up the courage to say something, Grimmjow would appear with someone new on his arm.
Recently however Ichigo had noticed the man had been single for a long time now, at least four months. Unfortunately Ichigo himself had been in a serious relationship until two weeks ago so still the timing wasn't right to say anything.
"Hey are you listening!"
Ichigo blinked, shaking his head to find Grimmjow leaning across the table towards him, an indignant scowl on his face. "Uh…"
"Wow." Grimmjow sighed, collapsing in a seat. "I'm trying to tell you that I think I'm in love and you're sat there daydreaming!"
"Sorry sorry." Ichigo sat up straighter with a smile and looked at Grimmjow intently. "So what were you saying about the spices."
Grimmjow looked at him suspiciously for a minute before pulling the spices out again. "As I was saying-" He shot Ichigo a dirty look before continuing. "Image each spice is a different type of person. Some you like, some you don't ok?"
"Got it."
"Ok so then you find the perfect spice, the one that has everything." He pushed one forward from the line then looked at Ichigo expectantly.
"So what you're saying is… you've found your perfect spice?" Grimmjow nodded and Ichigo had a hard time swallowing before he spoke again. "Who is it?"
The man hesitated, looking at Ichigo carefully. Then he smiled bitterly, looking down at the spice he'd picked and began twirling a finger on the top of it. "Someone I cant have."
"Why not?" Ichigo frowned, it wasn't like Grimmjow to say something like that. When Grimmjow wanted someone he got them, no question about it. Ichigo didn't know how he did it, but apparently people find him irresistible. Ichigo knew all about that however.
"Let's just say he's out of my league." Grimmjow pushed away from the table and stood up with a heavy sigh. "I mean," He started with a dry laugh. "can you remember the last time I was with a guy? Because I cant! I probably couldn't even make him feel good." That last sentence came out quietly, bitterly.
"I'm pretty sure it's like riding a bicycle." Ichigo finally said. He was trying to be helpful but Grimmjow just glared at him. "Sorry, what I meant was you've slept with guys before so you know what to do. Maybe you just need practice."
"Oh really?" Grimmjow asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow and he folded his arms. "So who do you suggest I 'practice' on exactly?"
"Me." The word slipped out before he could stop himself and Ichigo found he couldn't look at his friend anymore. His eyes landed on his book, and he kept them there in the deafening silence that followed.
"You." Grimmjow said, and then a pause before he continued. "You'd honestly sleep with me, just so I could have sex with a guy again? I know you're gay Ichigo but are you that desperate?"
He said it jokingly but Ichigo still felt his cheeks flush with anger and shame. "Forget it." He muttered, picking up his book and standing. He turned to leave, hide out in his room for a few hours but Grimmjow grabbed his arm.
"I was joking Ichi." The use of the nickname got Ichigo to stop and slowly he turned to face Grimmjow again to find the man looking at him with a slight frown. He wasn't angry, no he looked more puzzled than anything. "You'd really do that?"
"It was a joke."
Grimmjow smiled, shaking his head. "No it wasn't, don't lie to me. You meant it. Do you really want to sleep with me?"
"Like you said, I'm desperate." Ichigo replied mockingly, pulling his arm free of the man's grip. "What I meant was you could sleep with me because I'm gay and I know it doesn't mean anything. What difference would it make to us anyway? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before and you me."
It was true, you couldn't live together for several years without catching glimpses and Ichigo found it both frustrating and exhilarating when he did. Not that he would ever admit that aloud, especially to Grimmjow.
"You check me out?"
Ichigo scoffed at the smirk Grimmjow now wore, giving him a shove. "You are such an egotistical asshole. No I don't check you out. It's not my fault you parade around naked."
"Hey one time! I forgot my towel, I left it in the bedroom. How was I supposed to know you had come home early?" Grimmjow covered his mouth when he went to argue. "And don't change the subject. Seeing each other naked and having sex are two very different things. How do you know it wouldn't change our friendship?"
Ichigo shrugged and pulled away Grimmjow's hand. "I wont mention it if you don't. Unless of course you're shit in bed, then I'd never let you live it down." He leaned closer to Grimmjow and smirked. "Maybe all those rumours about you are just that, rumours."
"You're going to regret saying that."
"Why?"
Grimmjow grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling Ichigo closer until their noses brushed. He looked at Ichigo with a sly smile, his eyes lowering to the orange head's mouth. "Because now I'm going to have to prove to you just how good I am."
"Aren't you a bit rusty though? Worried you can get me off?" Ichigo asked teasingly, trying to keep his cool. His heart was hammering almost painfully in his chest. He could barely believe this was happening, was Grimmjow being serious with him? He couldn't tell if the man was serious or just messing him around any more. "That's the problem right?"
"I'm pretty sure I can handle you."
Ichigo did something he didn't know he had the nerve to do. He closed the gap between them and kissed Grimmjow. To both his disappointment and amazement he felt a spark inside him as their lips connected. He really did love Grimmjow, and kissing him was the most intimate thing Ichigo had ever done so far in his life. He'd never felt so close to someone before, not like this. Pulling back he was pleased to see the confusion in Grimmjow's eyes and stepped away from him.
"Prove it."
Then Grimmjow smirked. It was a predatory smirk Ichigo had seen many times, but it had never been directed at him. The sight sent a shiver down his spine and now he understood why people just seemed to melt when Grimmjow did it. Then the man's fingers were in his hair and their lips met again in a bruising kiss.
"Promise me this wont change things Ichigo. Promise you wont act different towards me afterwards." Ichigo understood why he asked this. During high school they had a friend called Tier who, after several drinks with Grimmjow ended up sleeping with him. Needless to say their friendship fell apart and the man didn't sleep with anyone he called a friend after that.
He nodded, looking at Grimmjow so he knew he was serious. "I promise. I'll still treat you like the asshole you are don't worry."
Grimmjow smiled, kissing him again. "Good, I don't want you to change." Ichigo never got to ask what that meant because the man was kissing him again and it felt too good to remember what they had even been talking about.
Even though he knew it didn't mean anything to Grimmjow, that it was just practice so he could warm up again Ichigo couldn't stop himself falling under the illusion that Grimmjow felt the same as he did. They way he touched him, the hesitant but firmness of someone who seemed nervous, but Grimmjow didn't look it in the slightest. The look in his eyes that Ichigo couldn't quite understand but thought he knew very well anyway.
Every kiss and every touch felt too intimate for something so casual but Ichigo didn't care. He loved every second of it and contrary to his doubts earlier, Grimmjow didn't seem the slightest bit rusty. Ichigo knew without a doubt it had been the best sex of his life and he also knew nothing would ever compare to it again. This thought brought him back to reality with a harsh jolt that made him intake sharply.
"What's wrong?" Grimmjow asked, leaning over Ichigo as he rolled onto his stomach to hide his face. "Ichigo?"
"I'm fine." He mumbled, not looking at his friend because it was too painful. Too painful to know that no matter how good it felt, how every part of Ichigo knew this was what he wanted, it was nothing more than a once off to Grimmjow. It was never going to happen again.
"You're not… hurt are you?"
This question got Ichigo's attention. Grimmjow sounded upset, worried even and Ichigo rolled over to look at his friend, even managing a smile. "Why, are you worried about me? I'm not made of glass you know I didn't break."
"I know." Grimmjow did something odd then, he reached out to touch Ichigo's cheek, splaying his fingers through the orange head's hair. Ichigo couldn't help himself, he turned his head into Grimmjow's palm and closed his eyes, wishing the moment could last just a little bit longer.
"I don't know what you were worried about." He finally said, opening his eyes to look at Grimmjow. "Whoever he is, I'm sure you'll be able to get him off no problem. Especially now you've had some practice."
Grimmjow scowled, pulling away from Ichigo sharply. "You make it sound like I'm preparing for a race or something. Practice." He said the word, his voice full of disgust. "I could've practiced on a sex doll, you make it sound like I used you."
Ichigo smiled sadly and sat up. "We used each other, you wanted to sleep with a guy and I wanted sex. We both got what we wanted why say it differently?" He didn't look happy about this, but Grimmjow said nothing. Ichigo stretched, wincing slightly at the jolt of pain in his lower back, it had been a long time for him too. "So who is he?"
"What?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes, poking Grimmjow in the chest. "This guy you love, who is he?" Grimmjow said nothing, he just looked at Ichigo angrily but there was something else in his expression, he looked hurt, upset even. "What's wrong?" Ichigo asked quietly, realising something wasn't right.
Surely Grimmjow wasn't mad at him? Was the sex really that bad? The thought made Ichigo want to curl up and die of embarrassment.
"You wanted sex, it was that simple for you?"
"What else do you want me to say?" Ichigo couldn't tell Grimmjow the real reason, how could he say he wanted to have sex with him because he was so madly in love with him and this was his only chance? Grimmjow would never understand, it would be the end of their friendship.
He flinched when Grimmjow suddenly threw back the covers and stood up. Ichigo could only watch in confusion as he left the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Before he could even wonder what had happened Grimmjow was back and he threw something at Ichigo who caught it reflexively.
"I didn't want to practice on you." Grimmjow said, his voice thick with some unknown emotion.
Ichigo didn't understand so he looked at the item he'd caught. It was one of the spices, Ichigo was willing to bet it was the one Grimmjow had singled out from the line up earlier. He turned the small bottle over in his hands, trying to figure out what Grimmjow meant and then he saw it. On the lid was a sticker that hadn't been there the last time Ichigo used the spice. It was a picture of a strawberry.
He understood perfectly now and looked at Grimmjow again. "You love me?" He managed to choke out, his throat closing with the rush of emotions he felt.
"Yeah I do." Grimmjow replied, but he wasn't smiling, he looked angry. "Stupid me huh? I meant to tell you before-" He gestured at Ichigo. "-this happened but I couldn't get the words out. I thought maybe I could say it afterwards but what does it matter right? It was just sex to you so why would you care?"
"Grimmjow-" Ichigo tried to talk, but his friend cut over him, apparently not hearing.
"I knew you didn't feel the same but I couldn't keep my mouth shut could I? I had to tell you and for fucking what? To know I can never have what I want? Never hold you like this again?" He stopped, taking in a ragged breath and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. The pain on Grimmjow's face was heartbreaking and Ichigo could feel the telltale pinpricks of tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry." He finally said in a much calmer voice. "It's not your fault I know, but please don't say what happened was practice. It may not have meant anything to you but it did to me and saying that fucking hurts."
"I love you." Ichigo said and Grimmjow looked up sharply, meeting his gaze. "I've always loved you Grimm, I just never had the courage to say it. Every time I did you would suddenly have a new girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever and I knew I'd lost my chance again. I gave up trying to tell you because what good would it do? Destroy our friendship? All I've wanted for as long as I can remember is you. This meant everything to me, even if it was going to be a one-off."
Ichigo stood up, holding the spice bottle tightly in his hand, pressing it to his chest.
"I love you." He repeated, his heart hurting because Grimmjow hadn't said anything yet. He was stood there staring at him and Ichigo didn't know what else he could do or say now.
Then Grimmjow was moving, back to his side and Ichigo found himself him his friend's arms again. "I love you too." Grimmjow said and Ichigo found he could breathe again. He let out a shaky laugh, wrapping his free arm around the man to hold him tightly. "I love you too Ichi."
"Why didn't you just say something?" Ichigo finally asked. They were still standing by the bed, still holding each other tightly and he was afraid to let go in case it wasn't real. The thought of waking up to find this was a dream was too painful to even think about for Ichigo.
Grimmjow laughed and pulled back slightly so they could look at each other again and Ichigo was relieved to see he was smiling. "I was trying to be romantic I suppose. If I just said I loved you, would you have believed me?"
Ichigo thought about that for a moment. "No, at least not at first. You would have had to do some serious explaining to make me believe you."
"Having sex with you was enough then?"
He shook his head, finally opening his hand to show Grimmjow the spice bottle. "This was though. I'm sorry I sounded so insensitive earlier, I didn't want you to know how I felt."
Grimmjow's hand covered his, then his lips were on Ichigo's. "Forget it, I overreacted."
"Well that's one way to put it." Ichigo laughed when Grimmjow frowned, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. It felt so odd, so exhilarating to be able to kiss the man freely, to know he could do such a thing now and he couldn't stop smiling because of it. "You're always one for drama."
"That is not true!"
"It is!" Ichigo insisted, laughing when Grimmjow pulled him closer and started kissing his neck. Each touch sent a spark through his stomach, just like their first kiss and he could only hope they would never stop coming. "By the way strawberry isn't a spice."
Grimmjow sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. "I know I made you promise not to treat me differently and all, but you could be a little bit nicer to me now. I am your boyfriend after all."
"Are you?" Ichigo asked in mock surprise. He stepped out of Grimmjow's arms, raising an eyebrow. "I don't recall agreeing to be your boyfriend. In fact I'm not sure I want to be. You have a reputation of dumping your boyfriends after only a few weeks. Don't try telling me I'm different, I'm sure I'm not the first."
He said it jokingly, but something in his face must have shown his fears that maybe Grimmjow didn't truly love him, that he was another fling because the older man's expression softened and he pulled Ichigo into his arms again. "I would never treat you like any of them, I would never say something I've said before. You mean everything to me Ichi, I wont let you go. Not after a few weeks, not after a few years I promise."
"I was joking." Ichigo mumbled and Grimmjow laughed.
"Didn't I tell you not to lie to me? I always know when you lie." His expression changed and he looked at Ichigo seriously. "I know I have a reputation for flings. But I promise you are different, I would never do something like that to you. You're my best friend, you're the love of my life."
"I guess I should say you are too." Ichigo replied, laughing when Grimmjow groaned. He kissed the man to pacify him and it worked. "I love you, I always have and always will, nothing will change that."
"Good. So… will you go out with me?" Ichigo nodded, kissing him again. "Now that's out of the way-" Grimmjow smirked and in one fluid motion Ichigo found himself off the floor and in his arms. "I believe we weren't finished earlier."
"Sure you've warmed up enough?" Ichigo teased but his voice had lowered, the look Grimmjow had given him was enough to make his breath catch, his blood run south. He hoped Grimmjow never stopped looking at him like that. "I mean, you were worried about not being able to please me earlier."
"Complain about me being shit in bed and I swear you wont be having sex for at least a month. And I'll be constantly reminding you what you're missing out on." There was no heat behind the words and Ichigo only laughed, the giddiness still hadn't left his system. "Now shut up at let me kiss you."
Ichigo did just that.
…
"What are you thinking about?"
Ichigo started slightly, comping to his senses as Grimmjow sat down next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders. Pulling him closer he pressed a kiss to the orange head's temple who smiled at the gesture.
"Nothing really, just this."
Opening his hands he showed Grimmjow the spice bottle. The strawberry sticker on the top had faded now, the pattern barely discernible. There wasn't any spice left in the bottle but Ichigo had insisted on keeping it and he found if he gave Grimmjow a convincing puppy dog look, he could get away with anything.
Grimmjow smiled, taking the bottle from him. "Why do you still keep this thing around. It's been ten years."
Ichigo frowned, trying to take it back but Grimmjow held it out of reach. "Asshole, I keep it because it reminds me of how much I love you. And of how good the sex used to be. You know you really need to up your game again."
He laughed at that, letting Ichigo take the bottle back. "Always the complimenter aren't you?" Placing a finger under Ichigo's chin he lifted his head to kiss him. "Should I go out and practice?"
"Oh hilarious."
Rolling his eyes Ichigo stood, turning his back to Grimmjow as he put the spice bottle back in it's position on the shelf. None of their friends knew the significance of the bottle, neither of them divulged the information of how they got together. Everyone assumed they had gotten drunk and slept together and it evolved from that. Ichigo was quite happy for them to think that because the truth was something he wanted to keep between himself and Grimmjow.
Grimmjow was behind him then, pulling Ichigo back against his chest as his arms went around the orange head's waist. He sighed, resting his head on top of Ichigo's. "You know, I haven't forgiven you yet for that practice jibe."
"It's been ten years." Ichigo mimicked, rolling his eyes but he was still smiling. When Grimmjow kissed his neck, causing that all too familiar spark in his stomach Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes. "I love you."
"Love you too Ichi."