• Who Are You and What Have You Done to My Italy? •
Spain/Romano, Germany/Italy, and slight Prussia/Canada
Romano sat uneasily at his kitchen table, glancing at his phone ever minute or so in case a certain Spaniard (that he definitely didn't care about at all) decided to call. Normally, he would rather have his younger brother hang out with those two potato bastards than sit around and wait like some lonely teenage girl waiting for her boyfriend to call her (He was not waiting for Spain like that; definitely not).
He didn't have much of a choice here, though. Earlier in the day, Spain called him up to talk, but had to leave to go do something important. He had told the Italian that he would call back in an hour (two hours had already passed since then...), so Romano decided that he would just wait around.
Still, waiting was very boring. The Italian huffed and glared at the phone, as if he was blaming the phone for his boredom and impatience. Stupid phone... Sighing, admitting defeat, Romano pushed himself out of his seat and trudged over to the refrigerator. "Fucking bastard... Being so late and making me wait for so long..." He ripped open the refrigerator door and looked around for tomatoes, and finding none to his absolute horror.
"Goddamn it... This is all Spain's fault."
Romano, sending one last glance at the phone resting on the kitchen table, walked out of the kitchen and made his way to the living room. He flopped down onto the couch and sighed, mentally cursing Spain. May your tomatoes rot, you bastard... I hope they all turn into potatoes during the night, and you'll have to eat them for weeks! ...Well, maybe I'll give him some of mine so... AW, FUCK. Okay, so maybe it was a bit impossible to curse the happy-go-lucky Spaniard he knew so well.
"Spain-nii? What did you say? I couldn't hear the last part because I was humming something in my head~!"
Wait... The Southern Italian shot up straight and jumped off the couch, running down the hall where his younger brother was apparently talking to Spain over the phone. If that really was Spain on the phone, Romano was going to fucking kill him. Seriously.
"Veneciano, who are you talking to?"
The cheery Italian, who had been leaning against the wall in the hallway while talking, looked at his older brother in surprise. "Hmm? Nii-chan? I'm talking to Spain-nii... Oh! You want to talk to him, too? Ve..."
Romano paused, and then scowled. "How long has he been talking to you on the phone?" For some reason, the Italian was just afraid to know the answer. What if Spain had hung up on him earlier to talk to Italy instead? Or, what if he decided he liked the younger, cheery one over the grumpy, snappish one? Romano felt his blood boil at the thought. That was just... That was just goddamn stupid!
"Um, about an hour. Why?" Italy sent him a curious look, tilting his head slightly in confusion. "W-Why? Did Spain-nii do something bad? Should I hang up?" He held the phone up to Romano, seeing if the older Italian wanted to say anything to Spain. Romano—of course—had a lot to say. He snatched the phone from his brother's hands and, without bothering to hold it to his ear to hear Spain, shouted into it.
"You fucking jerk! I was waiting for you to call back like you promised for two goddamned hours! Why the hell were you talking to my younger brother that whole time? Burn in hell, you dumbass! Don't talk to me ever again! If you do, I'll fucking murder you and send your body to Russia so he can do whatever he wants to you! I hope you die, bastard!" Spain was trying to say something, but Romano didn't really want to hear it. He viciously turned the phone off and handed it back to his younger brother. "If he calls, just hang up and tell him that I'm too busy to give a fuck!" As startled as he was from Romano's angry ranting into the phone, Italy nodded and took the phone back into his hands.
"Did Spain-nii promise to call you today, nii-chan?"
"What do you think?"
Italy's eyes started to water dramatically. "I-I'm sorry! I should have told you that Spain-nii called earlier! Uwaah! Now Spain-nii is sad and nii-chan is going to cry later! I'm so sorry, nii-chan! I'm sorry!" Being the hugger of the world, the air-headed Italian sprang forward and hugged his older brother, crying over something he really wasn't at fault at. As usual.
"Wha—? Why the fuck would I cry over that bastard? And why the fucking hell are you crying? You didn't do anything, you idiot!"
"Yes I did! I'm so stupid! That's probably why Germany has been avoiding me recently!"
...And at that moment, Romano's world imploded.
"Wait, wait, fucking wait! That potato jerk has been avoiding you? When? Why?" Romano really didn't like Germany at all, but he was somehow able to withstand him because of how he made his younger brother happy. Of course, Romano had also made a vow that he would murder Germany on the spot if he ever hurt his brother, physically or emotionally. "I'll kill him if it's a stupid reason."
Italy blinked in surprise. "Well... I think it's because I'm always so stupid and cheery like this! He even said to me once that 'I'm so stupid, it's kind of hard to make sure you don't get into trouble'! He hates me! Germany hates me! I just know it!" To Romano's dismay, Italy started bawling.
"...Tch. Germany and Spain obviously don't appreciate our personalities," the grumpier Italian huffed. "Spain, that fucker, wants me to be all cheerful and stupid like he is; Germany wants you to be smarter and less of a handful! It's like these guys are asking for the fucking impossible!"
Italy gathered his words carefully, trying not to hiccup or pause for air as he tried to stop crying. "I... I think I know who can help. Ve..." The Italian tossed the phone aside, not caring where it landed, and took his older brother's hand in his own. "There's s-someone that can help us find out how we can fix things with Spain-nii and Germany!" This only made Romano doubt whoever he was talking about a little more...
If it was Hungary (aka, the woman that tried to get the brothers to do something that brothers really shouldn't do), Japan (aka, the one that tried to sell them animated porn), or Prussia (aka, the one that would just make things even worse than they originally were), Romano would probably slap his brother upside the head and go hide for the next few years.
That sounded like a good plan.
"Okay, who is it?"
"You came to me for help? Really? I'd be delighted to assist you, but isn't this romance stuff usually up in your own alley? Not that bloody frog, though. All he'd do to help you would just be molesting you and making things worse than usual."
Romano mentally cursed himself and his brother for going to England for help. Why England? Sure, he had romantic poetry and Shakespeare, but now? Now, he was just boring... The Italian resisted the urge to point out that England was dating America, probably the most unromantic nation around besides Germany. How the fuck would England help them? ...Wait. "W-Who said this was a romantic situation, you bastard? We never said it was!"
Great, now his mind was betraying him. Why was he thinking about this being a romantic situation It definitely was not. Stupid England and his stupid mind tricks!
England laughed nervously. "Sorry, then. I just assumed..." He coughed, as if trying to dismiss the awkward situation, and then stood up from his seat. "Well, I'll do the best I can. So, the situation is that Spain and Germany are basically wishing you two had different personalities, correct?"
Italy whimpered and nodded. Romano just rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yeah."
"Alright then, I have just the spell to use. Just stay here and wait for a moment." England finally left the room, probably to go find some of his magical items or maybe a potion. Who knew? It was surprising enough that he even agreed to help them, so Romano wasn't going to complain...that much.
Once England was out of the room, the Southern Italian turned to his brother and frowned. "Why the hell did you bring us to this guy? He might use some of his fucking weird magic stuff on us and get it wrong! What if we end up getting sick, or maybe he just makes things worse?" This was when Italy decided to cross his arms across his chest and pout.
"He might be able to help! England's used magic before, and it worked! I saw him use it on his cooking once, nii-chan, and it didn't taste as bad as normal! Ve! See, he can help?"
"You idiot... It still tasted bad! What if he doesn't improve things at all?"
"It'll be fine!"
"It won't!"
"It will!"
"It won't!"
"Just shut the fuck up!"
"Don't be so mean! That's not nice to say!"
Italy huffed, frowning at his older brother. "I'll say whatever the hell I want! You're not the boss of me, and you know it! In fact, this is all stupid. I'm leaving." Without another word, he pushed himself off of England's couch and stormed over to the door, ripping it open and leaving with a loud slam. Romano instantly shot out of his seat and ran after his younger brother. "Wait! Wait! Don't leave me here alone! It's scary!"
Moments after the brothers ran out of the house, England walked back into the living room with a smirk. In his hands was a large, old, and dusty book that had some kind of Old English writing on it.
The page he was on was entitled: Personality Switching Spells.
"Now let's see how Spain and Germany will handle this..."
FAIL CHAPTER IS FAIL.
I'm testing out different writing styles, so sorry if this sucks. Next chapter will be more interesting, and it will have very funny interactions with Spain and Romano.
I HAVE NO BETA. DON'T SHOOT ME FOR THE ERRORS IN SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! Actually, I'd love you forever if any of you could be my Beta. Pleaaase? -puppy dog eyes and pout-
I'm sorry if this sucks! -cries- I FAIL SO MUCH AT THIS.
Please review... No flaming.