Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto
Hurting
The sky was painted grey much to his chagrin. It's raining soon, he knew.
Shikamaru let out sigh as he fiddled with his late sensei's lighter before lighting his cigarette. Rough hands ran through his spiked ponytail while he took in a puff.
"Troublesome." He murmured under his breath.
"What is?"
Shikamaru shot his head up to be greeted by her warm smile. Her; that strong, smart medic kunoichi that was his source of problem was now standing right next to him.
"Tch. Nothing, Sakura." He took another drag.
"Is it the village's security planning? Shishou's been putting too much expectation on you hasn't she? Hey, I can try talking to her and ask-"
"No. It's not that." He tried his best to not look at her. Her sea-green eyes were too enthralling for his own good. Her heart belongs to someone else anyway...
"Oh. Sorry to be nosy." Sakura stooped her head.
"Sorry. I was just too much into my thoughts."
"Yeah, I was actually going to get some food for Sasuke-kun. He seems moody lately." She smiled.
"No Sakura, he's always moody." He teased.
"Shikamaru! No he isn't! You seemed pretty moody all the time too with your lazy expression. Ne?" Her knee nudged his shoulder a tiny bit.
"Hai, hai. Now, be on your way."
"Nah, I have time. Cloud gazing? It's going to rain though." Sakura tilted her head upwards. "So, would you like to get a drink with me?" She offered to pull him up.
"Troublesome." He snickered but got up and followed her anyway.
Shikamaru walked beside the pinkette, eyes focusing on the ground. He noticed, the kunoichi was being too quiet today.
"I don't mean to pry but something is certainly bothering you, Sakura." He stated.
"Y-yeah..." She spoke softly, expression sad.
They stopped in their footsteps and Shikamaru opened the tea house's door for Sakura, just like any gentleman would. When she walked past him, he took a whiff of her hair and was delighted to know it still smelled of fresh apples and vanilla. Just as a smile was about to tug at the corners of his lips, Shikamaru smothered it. He didn't quite understand why is he having this attraction towards Sakura. The Nara heir shook off that thought and followed her in.
Usually, Shikamaru would deem it too much of a drag to even lend his ears and listen to Ino's problems but Sakura; Sakura was different. He has no idea why but he just knows, she's different- to him.
"So, what's bothering you?"
"I... Do you think Sasuke-kun will ever heal from all his hurt?"
"Are you doubting?"
"I-I mean, I-"
"Why are you doubting?"
"He's... he doesn't seem happy here, in Konoha." Dainty fingers were twirling around the brim of her teacup.
Shikamaru gingerly grabbed her hand and saw her stunned expression.
"Sakura, you love him don't you?"
"Ye-yes."
"Then don't lose hope in him. He may be troubled now but I believe with your tender love and care, he will overcome it." He tightened his grip. "Heck, that bastard just doesn't know he's got the best."
"The best what? Shikamaru?"
"Nothing, Sakura."
He let out a sigh when Sakura dropped the subject and sipped on her steamy tea. Yes, throughout the years, Shikamaru noticed her grace. How she tacitly fights her battles using both brains and brawn; how her heart is so warm and kind when it comes to loving and healing others. Soon, he found himself smiling whenever he hears her laughter chiming in the air or how his heart beats faster when she calls out his name.
Shikamaru was glad too; about the fact that she was a medic-nin and that meant she'd need the Nara's medical books for studies at times. He always uses this opportunity to get closer to her and finds joy in having any form of discussion with her; anything she says is interesting to him.
"Thank you, Shikamaru. You are a good friend."
"Hn."
Groggily, he walked down the stairs. It was raining heavily and hence, the perfect weather for a good sleep.
"Troublesome." He mumbled as a thunder roared.
Shikamaru took back his words immediately when he found a dripping wet Sakura in front of his porch. He pulled her in and grabbed a coat from his coat hanger to drape it on her.
"What's wrong?" He asked as his eyes darted her whole figure, searching for any hurt and he saw bruises on her neck, the back of her left ear was bleeding. "Shit, sit down, I'll go get the first aid kit."
Sakura walked herself to his kitchen counter and sat on a bar stool. Immediately, she cried. Her loud weeping tore his heart asunder as he rushed to her side, first aid kit in hand.
"Did-" He needn't complete his sentence. She nodded.
"He was really mad you know... He went berserk." She continued weeping.
"But why?" He combed through his hair.
"He knew... under the bridge. He knew we kissed. He was losing control because he thought he was losing me. I cheated-"
"No, you did not! Damn it Sakura! It doesn't give him the right to hit you. It's abusive! That's not how a man should be! It was just a kiss."
She stopped weeping for a moment.
"Just... Just a kiss? You never felt it?" She questioned him with devastated eyes.
"I- your heart belongs to someone else."
"Shikamaru... I-I felt something. When we kissed that day."
He saw it in her eyes and he knew she was telling the truth. He was beyond mad at what Sasuke did to her but he knew, for Sakura, it will always be Sasuke before anyone else, even if she loves him now; Sasuke will always come first. That bloody Uchiha had conquered most of her heart already.
"Sakura, be honest. You have certain feelings for me but... Sasuke will always come first. Isn't that right?"
She couldn't give him an answer. Her mind told her Shikamaru was the better choice, but her heart, oh her heart was always Sasuke-kun's.
"Hn, just as I thought. Maybe, Sasuke's curse seal worked up again. After all, Tsunade-sama couldn't seal it off completely. And I'm betting he's regretting what he did. Tremendously. I will apologize to him. I will talk to him. So stop crying and feeling guilty over it. I initiated the kiss, Sakura. I misled you and made you feel the wrong things. It was just a short infatuation on your side. I'm sorry." He took a tissue and wiped her tears.
"Shikamaru..."
"You fell for a monster didn't you?"
"He will change! I haven't given up hope. You told me I could change him." Determination, he saw determination blazing in her glossy emerald eyes. He smothered a snort, thinking how funny it was that he was the one who fueled up the will in her to help, change and continue loving Sasuke.
"Yeah, he will change. After all, even the blind can hear the sincerity in his voice, the deaf can see it in his eyes how he talks and treats you. He's a monster that truly loves you. He will hurt you but he would be the one who will heal you too. Because you only allow him to do the healing... and he wants to heal you."
He went to his coffee table and lit a cigarette.
"You two complete each other, Sakura. I'm... I'll just be here whenever you need me. Your best friend if you want, your safety net if you require one."
"No, Shikamaru. It'll be too great a heart pain for you!"
"I cannot command my heart to stop feeling things for you, Sakura." He sneered mentally about how he's openly talking about his... feelings.
"I- I don't know what to do..."
"You'll be with him. Don't worry so much."
"I'm feeling very conflicted now, Shikamaru." She grabbed his arms.
"Your mind tells you to pick me but your heart wouldn't allow so. I'm telling you now Sakura, I know. Sasuke will be your choice. Because, if he isn't you would've come to me a long time ago. And besides, nothing ever happened after that kiss."
He knelt next to her.
"Stay for as long as you want and need. I'm making hot chocolate for you." He patted her knee and went to brew some hot chocolate.
Sakura gazed at his back blankly and allowed tears of confusion to stream down her visage.
"He's just trying to make me feel better although he's so hurt himself..." She barely whispered it out.
Sakura cried again. This time, because she knows how much she's hurting him.
He stifled his tears too. Shikamaru knows he had to find a way to make her feel less guilty so that she could be happy with Sasuke, if she chooses him in the end.
The kitchen had a comfortable aroma of hot chocolate but neither party was comforted.
A/N: First ever ShikaSaku fic! How was it? REVIEWS make me a very happy amateur writer!
And, I'm not putting Shikamaru in a better light than Sasuke here. They both genuinely love Sakura, but in two very different ways. And Sakura? She's just really conflicted because she knows how much these two men loves her. And as it is stated by Shikamaru, Sasuke couldn't control himself because of the curse seal and you know how when an Uchiha felt that s/he lost a loved one they'd go cray cray!