Caim:
1. Sign him up for anger/violence management classes
2. Tell him that Verdelet could beat him
3. Replace his real sword with a rubber one and send him into battle
4. Decorate his armor with flowers and pictures of bunnies or other fluffy stuff
5. Tell him that Legna is the dragon that ruined his life and watch as he runs off to slay him
6. Follow him around at all times and sigh dreamily, saying out loud how adorable he is so he can hear
7. Ask him why people call him the "one-eyed man"
8. Repeatedly recite the "Watchers" chant (see not the Watchers, that stuff) and begin preaching how great they and the Empire are, telling him he should join
9. Get everyone in the group to join an "Inuart Is Awesome" club and ask him if he wants to be the President
10. Simply exist