Craving Oblivion
By: Beccatdemon13
©2008
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except for Madeleine Rose Darley, as well as anyone you don't immediately recognize. Please don't sue. You'd only be getting about seven weeks of minimum wage. What? Don't look at me like that High School ain't a paying gig you know. But god I wished it was. Beccatdemon13 now will go off to fantasize about being paid to go to school. Oh, right, the story! On we go…
Synopsis: They say home is where the heart is. Maybe that's why I'm so messed up, I never truly had either. I couldn't have a heart when I have murderers for family members. Where the drug industry is just the family business. Where I've seen people murdered for everything under the sun. I didn't really have a home either. Yeah, I lived in an apartment with my two older brothers but I never truly felt safe, even though my brothers' were right down the hall. Maybe that's part of the reason why I slept with a knife under my pillow. Now-a-days South Boston's run by Billy Darley, a ruthless gang lord ruling most of Boston's underground with cutthroat efficiency. Most people viewed Billy as terrifying but to me he was just my big brother. My revenge seeking, drug dealing, intimidating, big brother.
Author's Note: I just saw Death Sentence and liked it almost immediately. It was a little violent (not that I didn't expect it) but the overall movie was awesome. Garrett Hedlund was brilliant seeing how I had just seen him as Jack Mercer only a few weeks ago that's quite a 180. I hope that I'm writing the character of Billy Darley the right way. I mean it was obvious he cared about Joe a lot so he wouldn't be overly harsh with his little brother but still wasn't all nurturing either. I hope I found the happy medium and if I didn't feel free to tell me so I can right the character right. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story. Also please know that this story will have heavy cursing, drug use, underage drinking, self mutilation, and there may be sex, who knows? Just keep these warning in mind. Thank you. Also there are pictures of Maddie and her tattoos on my profile page.
Chapter One: How It Was
The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn
Boston's underworld, the inner city, was a dangerous place. Hell, Boston at night was dangerous, period. That was probably the reason why I was currently running my ass off trying to slip the person who was running directly behind me. God damn my smart mouth was always getting me into trouble. Thankfully I only had a few more blocks to go before I reached salvation in the form of my brother's bar, the Four Roses.
I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Madeleine Rose Darley. Most people called me Maddie, Mads, or in rare instances Rose. Those rare instances are few and far in between saved for special times of mourning or when my brothers actually had their guards down. I'm eighteen years old with light brown hair and dark green eyes. My body was lithe and small considering I only stood at about five foot four. I had a dark, black tribal tattoo stretching over my right hip. The tattoo was interesting because it was the gang's mark, the same gang I wasn't allowed to be apart of. But I think Billy realized he couldn't keep me away forever so ta-da, tattoo!
The most interesting thing was my relationship with my family. First things first, my sperm-donor of a father, Bones Darley. Mother fucker was more ruthless than he was fat and trust me that was bad. I didn't think of Bones as my father none of us did. He kept us within business as long as he we brought him business that was all he ever wanted us for.
My brothers were far more important to me than my fat fuck of a father anyway. My oldest brother was the one and only Billy Darley. He was one of the most ruthless gang lords in all of Boston. He was powerful, intense, and raw. His greenish hazel eyes were expressive to say the least. You know exactly what he was thinking with just one glance. Billy was a natural born leader, he knew how to intimidate, how to control and be in control. Even though, Billy was my brother he could be intimidating as hell towering over me at six foot two. He had broad shoulders and a shaved head, very close to his scalp. Billy had his own set of tribal tattoos, which only seemed to add to his intensity. Billy was the leader of the gang called the Merchants of Death, MOD for short. They were known as one of the more ruthless gangs in South Boston and their territory was massive, didn't make things any less dangerous, though. Joe was my other brother. He was nearly twenty three years old and had short brown hair. Joe was on the outskirts of the MOD at the present moment. Although Billy was the leader he wasn't about to cut corners and let Joe fully in until he did the initiation. Billy also thought that Joe wasn't ready for the gang life still drawing attention to himself for fighting and stuff. And as for me? Both Billy and Joe refused to let me into the inner workings of the MOD no matter what. Doesn't it suck to be the youngest? I mean gang life is nothing glamorous. It's dangerous, a kill or be killed world but I wasn't as naïve as other people thought. I could hold my own. I had been taught from a young age to hold my own.
I felt the man behind me speed up as I groaned forcing myself to up the speed. You know what? That's exactly what I got for trying to help my brothers out. My father was far malicious to them then he was to me. So, what if I snuck into the 'office' and stole supplies only to give them to local drug dealers then collect sixty percent of the profits? The only reason why I did this was because the MOD answered to Billy and he answered to our father. Bones was the one who gave them the blocks to run and he expected compensation, so I helped. The man who was currently chasing me was one of my dealers and wasn't happy about the profit margins, he also didn't believe that I was Billy Darley's sister. He was gonna get a nasty shock because I was only a block away from the Four Roses. The Four Roses wasn't originally Billy's bar, the MOD just took it over and that as they say is history.
"Get back here, you little thieving bitch!" The man shouted.
"Fuck you!" I shouted.
I felt a bullet whiz past me. Shit, this situation just got more dangerous. I groaned as I fought to grab my own gun flicking the safety off and firing it backwards. By the grunt that followed the bullet either hit him or was too close for comfort.
"Yeah, take that mother fucker!" I whooped.
I saw the sign for the Four Roses and grinned when one of the bastard's stray bullets hit the metal door. While it didn't go through it made a decent thud sound instantly drawing attention from those inside. At least that's what I gathered from the sudden rise in voices. The man didn't back off though. He kept running after me, which meant he either didn't know what part of town he was in or was too angry to care.
It was then I came to the frightening realization. If my family, which was what the MOD really was, came out here they would wonder what I was doing, and if there was a reason why this guy was chasing me. That meant if they were wondering what I was doing, then they'd ask Joe who would then ask Billy. Then there would be all sorts of problems. Mainly the fact that I broken Billy's rules, and he really wasn't the person to disobey. I wasn't suppose to even know where the office was, let alone be selling the drugs they're making. Even if I was helping Billy just wouldn't see it that way. He'd see it, as insubordination and I'd be fucking followed or chained to Joe and Billy so that I couldn't get in trouble again.
As soon as the Four Roses door banged open I ducked around the alleyway. I heard banging around as Bodie, Heco, and Spink started yelling at the guy. I winced when I heard a fight begin before shouting of, "Yeah that's right! You better run!" That was one crisis diverted. I wouldn't be using that guy again, that was for sure. The door to the Four Roses shut once more and I peeled myself off the brick wall going in through the door that had just shut. It was almost as though there hadn't been a fight just moments ago. All of the MOD was around playing pool, smoking, and drinking.
"You were supposed to be here two hours ago," Jerry the bartender scolded setting done a water bottle for me.
"Miss me, Jerry?" I teased lightly. He was older than most of the other MOD members around. He was actually one of my father's friends who were nice. And those were few and far in between believe me.
"You know Billy doesn't like it when you're late," Jerry sighed.
"He noticed?" I asked.
"Not here yet, Mads," Jerry responded. "You're lucky by the way. Some punk just came through he actually shot the place. That's why Billy wants you back around one in the morning at least."
"I don't even go school anymore," I complained. "I got my GED two years ago."
Getting a GED was a lot better than going to one of the fine public schools Boston's inner city had to offer, trust me. Still I knew Billy had a point things were more unmasked at night that's where more gang killings happened where more drug deals went down. Of course he wouldn't want me in that kind of situation. It was sweet, actually. For as violent and intimidating as most of my family was they never wanted me involved with this part of their life. Billy was more of a father than Bones ever was making sure I had a home, a place to sleep, and an education. He didn't want me to have the life he led.
"Where've you been?" Joe asked dropping down in the seat next to me.
"No where important," I shrugged.
"Bull shit," Joe growled. "You're late again too. Billy is gonna love this."
"He's also gonna love someone not doing what they're supposed to," I threatened.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Joe snapped.
"Sure you don't, Joey," I smirked. "Where's Billy?"
"Running the corner," Joe sighed.
I drank my water watching people playing pool and laughing. I felt Joe fidget next to me and really looked at him. He seemed nervous about something. The way he kept glancing at the door as though waiting for Billy to bust in pissed as hell.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"What?" Joe questioned. "What would be wrong? Nothing's wrong."
"Joey, you keep glancing at the door as if Billy is gonna come in with a good reason to be pissed off," I explained.
"Do not," Joe stated.
Before I could even say anything the door banged open slamming against the wall with a crack. Billy strode through the door like a man resolved. I watched him knowing that malevolent look in his eye didn't bode well. I winced as he stopped right in front of Joe and I glaring down at him. He passed the canvas bag where the earnings of the night were kept to me so that he could fold his arms and glare down at our brother.
"H-hi, Billy," Joe whispered.
"You got something you'd like to tell me?" Billy demanded.
"Uh…" Joe hesitated.
"Look me in the eye when you're talking to me," Billy ordered. "And answer my fucking question."
"I…uh," Joe began.
"Really?" Billy nodded sarcastically. "Because I have something to tell you."
"Billy, maybe we should have this conversation at home," I suggested.
"Quiet, Maddie, I'll get to you in a minute," Billy growled.
I instantly silenced the look he sent me did not spell good things. But what could he know? Or better yet what had he seen? I leaned back against the bar looking in between my brothers. Joe was trying to look tough and act uninterested as Billy glared down at him but just couldn't help the little ticks that signaled he rather be anywhere else but here.
"You haven't been working," Billy growled. "Third day this week, Joe."
"I'm sorry," Joe sighed.
"Really?" Billy asked, "Because in case you forgot we're actually supposed to be making a profit. How do we do that when you're not working too?"
"I'm sorry," Joe repeated.
"Go, and work, Joey, now," Billy ordered. "And stop taking from the supplies. You think you're Heco or some shit?"
"Sorry," Joe muttered shrugging into his red leather jacket striding out the side entrance of the bar.
I watched after my brother knowing that he was going to the spot under the bridges where they sold most of the drugs. Well, sold their share of the drugs, that is.
"Come on, we're going home," Billy ordered.
"It's only one thirty," I complained.
"Excuse me?" Billy asked.
"Never mind," I sighed.
"Wait for me by the door," Billy replied.
Before I could even reply, Billy was already moving towards Heco, Tommy, Bodie, and Dog. I growled at annoyance in getting left out at whatever business plans they were making. Wait, what was I complaining for? I could put the money I earned from my night into the bag now. I slipped in the rolls of fifties that I had gathered from my dealers, turning my back so that the bag was shielded by my body.
I gasped when a hand came down on my shoulder. Instantly scolding myself for letting someone sneak up behind me. I looked up to see it was only Joe, who was looking at me from narrowed eyes.
"What?" I snapped shrugging out of his embrace.
"What do you think you're doing?" Joe demanded.
"Nothing," I retorted.
"Don't look like nothing," Joe shrugged.
"What's it to you anyway?" I asked. "You're supposed to be working now."
"I will in a couple of minutes," Joe rolled his eyes. "I have to talk to Billy first."
"Doesn't everyone," I muttered.
Joe shot me a warning look before moving forward to talk to Billy. When Billy pulled Joe away from the rest of the group I got worried. What did Joe have to tell Billy that was so important that the rest of the MOD couldn't know? I shivered when both Joe and Billy looked at me. The phrase if looks could kill passed through my head and I quickly shoved it away. Joe had seen me shoving money into the canvas bag that was pretty bad. But what else could have happened. More importantly what did Billy want to talk to me about? The longer they talked the more nervous I became before I quickly turned on my heel and tried to leave the bar unnoticed.
"Sit down, Madeleine," Billy ordered. The warning in his tone undeniable. That and he had used my full name, which was another major warning sign. Most people winced in sympathy at the tone of voice Billy had used but after living with him since I was born I was use to most of his tones and most definitely his anger. Not that it made it any less terrifying.
I growled in annoyance but sat down regardless. I rested by head on the canvas bag just wanting to go home and sleep. I don't know how much longer time passed before Joe walked by me smacking me upside the head as he finally went out to run the corners. I looked around for Billy and jumped when his hand suddenly appeared right next to me.
"Let's go," Billy growled.
I didn't bother saying anything as I followed Billy out to his car. His long leather coat billowed behind him, which only seemed to add to his presence. I climbed into the black mustang with red tribal symbols on the side. I closed the door wincing, as Billy slammed his own door before gunning the engine and flooring it out of the parking lot.
Our apartment wasn't anything special. It was mostly abandoned, which is how the entire MOD was in the same apartment complex. We had the biggest one at two bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, and a bathroom. It wasn't a McMansion but it was home. Billy cut the engine in front of the apartment hovering by the car to make sure that I got out. I lifted myself out of the car moving slower then was absolutely necessary. Billy glared at me and I increased my speed walking with him all the way up the stairs and into our apartment. The door slammed behind me as Billy stepped inside.
"Got something you'd like to fucking tell me?" Billy demanded cornering me against the wall. A hand on either side of my head.
"No," I replied. I knew it was a bad answer but I wasn't about to self incriminate, no fucking way.
"Good girl," Billy praised. However, it wasn't really praise he knew why I wasn't about to own up to him but it didn't make him any less angry. "You wanna hear what I heard?"
"Okay," I whispered looking down to the ground.
"Don't fucking do that," Billy snapped. "You look at me."
I looked back up. Forgetting that Billy always did hate it when people avoided eye contact. Made it a hell of a lot easier to lie that way.
"I heard that you were dealing," Billy growled. "I heard that you were outsourcing our stuff. Even though, I specifically told you not to."
I looked at my brother's piercing green eyes knowing that what he had confronted me with was real and also knowing that he wouldn't have mentioned it if he didn't have solid proof. Billy wasn't naïve don't get me wrong. He just tended to turn a blind eye to where his younger siblings actions were concerned. I think Billy still thought of me as the little six year old who didn't know how to fire a gun let alone organize a little underground drug ring right in MOD territory.
"You did manage to deal under the radar for a while, Maddie." Billy continued. "Hell, you didn't even make a real slip-up until tonight. Well, two slip-ups technically."
I grimaced calculating what mistakes I could've made. When I realized it and I nearly hit myself. How could I have been so stupid?
"You gave me the bag on purpose." I growled. "You sent Joey out only to send him back in so that I'd think it was the perfect opportunity to transfer the money."
"Smart girl," Billy grinned. "You also were followed by one of those dealers…Jamie saw you called me and the rest of the guys because you were running in the direction of the bar."
"Son of a bitch," I muttered.
"Listen to me," Billy ordered. "No more."
"But Billy," I protested.
"Maddie," Billy warned.
"I'm just trying to help," I whined knowing that it wasn't one of my better ideas to argue with my brother. Especially when he was glaring at me like that.
"It's too dangerous for you to help!" Billy yelled at me.
"Bones is finally somewhat satisfied with the money being produced," I retorted. "You need me."
"No," Billy snapped. "You're not getting involved in this. Where did you even find where we kept the drugs?"
"I followed Joe one day," I sighed. Knowing that answer was going to get me in even deeper trouble. My brothers hated it when I snuck around, mostly because I was good at it. And also because I found out things they didn't want me knowing whenever I did. "Not even that the institution is almost right behind this apartment complex," I continued.
The MOD were smart they hid their cars behind the institution so the place still looked abandoned. The building was in some seriously bad shape keeping people out also. Not to mention people didn't fuck around on Billy Darley's territory, not unless you wanted to die in a very violent way. Still they couldn't keep secrets from a girl who has been around most of these people their entire life. Sure all the members had their little poker faces but I knew them well enough to know when they were lying with me. Not that they could be mad at me they could read me just as well.
"I told you to stay away from there!" Billy yelled at me his hand banging against the wall right by my head.
"I was just trying to help," I grumbled.
"No, you're just trying to get involved," Billy, corrected. "And I'm telling you to cut it the fuck out."
"I was just trying to make things easier for you!" I shouted.
Before I could even blink Billy's hands were wrapped around my throat lifting me up a couple of inches until I was eye to eye with my suddenly irate older brother. Looks like I shouldn't have pushed my luck any further. My hands were clutching at his wrists trying to get him off of me. But there was nothing I could do my back was pressed tightly against the wall and my legs were dangling uselessly above the ground. I knew that I could probably kick him and he'd hopefully let me go but I wasn't sucidal.
"Listen and listen well, little girl," Billy growled. "I don't want you dealing. Joe doesn't want you dealing. And Bones would rip everyone a new asshole if he even thought his baby girl touched this shit. Consider this you're last warning stop it before I stop it for you. Do you understand me?"
I nodded my head in acceptance just praying that he'd let me go. Billy would never really hurt me. Of course with his hands around my throat you might think otherwise, but I could breathe. I was just startled, which was exactly what Billy was aiming for. Once he saw that I was relenting he let me go. I slid down the wall rubbing my throat still feeling his hands around me. It could've been a lot worse and I knew that. Billy stood above me looking down at me with a neutral expression. I winced when he bent down and picked me back up.
"I'm sorry, Billy," I whispered. "I just thought that if we were making more money Bones wouldn't be such and asshole to you guys."
"Bones will always be an asshole," Billy smirked. "Get some sleep, Mads."
"When will Joe be home?" I asked.
"I'm going to call him now," Billy soothed.
I nodded my head before retreating down the hallway towards my room. Well, it was technically Joe's room as well. There were two beds on either side of the wall and we each had our own dressers. The room wasn't big but it gave the both of us more space, which was a good thing. No matter how annoyed or pissed off Billy seemed to get Joe and I always managed to fight at least a couple times a week. It was just what we did. Billy was accepting of it as long as we didn't get physical, draw attention to ourselves on the street, or wake him up. Granted Joe and I always ended up getting physical, normally with me ending up pinned to the floor pissed as hell before Billy finally broke us up.
I was half asleep when my cell phone went off vibrating against my nightstand. I groaned before pressing the talk button and holding it to my ear.
"This better be fucking good," I growled.
"You owe me money, bitch," A distorted voice hissed.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I yelled. "Man fuck you! You agreed to the deal not my fault you're suddenly unhappy."
"Maddie, you want to give me that money," The voice replied.
"Oh, really?" I laughed. "Why's that?"
"Because I got so much dirt on your family that you all could go away for a long, long time." The voice snickered.
"Where are you?" I fought to control my voice.
"Meet me at the corner of third and 88th street," The voice growled before disconnecting.
I shrugged back into my leather jacket and tied my shoe laces together. I reached over grabbing my Beretta before opening the fire escape window. I climbed down the side of the building without hesitation taking off in the direction of third and 88th. One thing was for certain this asshole wasn't living past tonight. I wiped the random doubts out of my head including the biggest: I had never actually killed anyone before. I gulped steeling myself as I walked under the street light on the two intersecting streets.
As the person who threatened my family began to turn I tackled him into the ground. He grunted as all one hundred twenty five pounds slammed into his mid section. Once I made contact I hit him as hard as I could as many times as I could before he flipped me off of him. I hit the ground with a sickening thud, my head ricocheting off the pavement like a bouncy ball. I groaned as he punched me in the cheek and then growled when he picked me up by my shirt throwing me into a nearby wall before pinning me there.
"Where's my money?" The man growled.
Instead of an answer I spat at him. The spit smacking him right in the eye. He groaned loosing his hold on me. I kicked him backwards and he fell onto the pavement. He took a knee just looking at me. I breathed deeply sneaking a hand to the back of my pants where my Beretta was waiting. I tugged it out and put it off of safety as I held the man's eye contact.
"That was the dumbest move you'll ever make," The man hissed. "I'm going to kill your brothers and then just for fun I'll kill you. I'm going to dest…"
I would never know what exactly the man was going to do because as he ranted, standing up slowly I fired a single shot that lodged right in the bastard's throat. His eyes popped as he fell to his knees. Blood began to pour and I felt physically ill. But I couldn't turn my eyes away from all that blood. I knew that no one would hear that bullet. Billy didn't raise no fool all my guns had silencer attachments.
I stooped down next to the twitching body of what would have been one of my best drug dealer associates. "That's what you get when you threaten a Darley, you son of a bitch!" I hissed kicking out of foot catching him in the ribs.
"Maddie?" Someone gasped.
I turned around and saw that it was Joe. Of course, he would be walking home this way from the corner that he was assigned. It was the fastest way home. Seeing the shock on my older brother's face weakened my resolve and any anger I felt towards the person at my feet suddenly vanished. Oh, my god. What had I done?