Note: This was inspired by Lonestar's song Mr. Mom. I thought this would be a quick one-shot but I was wrong. It turned out to be a long one-shot. Also, I hate trying to come up with an ending to a fic…it is the bane of my existence!
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"Liv!"
"Casey? What's wrong?" Olivia asked with concern as she grabbed her keys, ready to run to Casey's aid.
"I need help!" Casey wailed helplessly.
"Where are you? What's wrong?" Olivia asked in a breathless rush as she ran to the sedan.
"I-I-There's smoke and-and the wall…" she was cut off by a high-pitched shriek in the background.
Olivia recognized that shriek. "Casey?" she paused before pulling into traffic with her emergency lights. "Are you at Elliot's today?"
"Yes," she replied, near tears.
Olivia tried to bite back a laugh. Tried and failed.
"It-it's not funny!" Casey burst out.
"I know, I know it's not," Olivia said soothingly. "I'm sorry."
When Casey had agreed to return a favor to Elliot by way of watching his sister-in-laws twins and Eli for a day while he and Kathy attended a wedding, Olivia had a feeling she would be getting a call from the ADA.
Kathleen was going to watch the kids, Elliot had tried to explain, but she had finals that day, so they were desperate for some help. He would never ask her for anything ever again, he had promised, if she would only help him out just this once.
"Casey, honey, calm down. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. Just put in one of Eli's Barney tapes until I get there, okay?"
"I've played it about sixteen times now," Casey admitted with a sniffle.
'Oy,' Olivia thought to herself. 'This is worse that I thought it would be.' To Casey she said, "Okay, go sit down and I will be there as soon as I can."
"Okay," Casey softly agreed before disconnecting the line.
Olivia debated switching her emergency lights back on, but decided against it. She'd rather not have Elliot getting questioned by his neighbors later. As it was, traffic was pretty light and she made good time getting to Queens.
Walking into the house is when she realized just how bad the situation was. She could hear Allie and Austin arguing loudly down the hall. Louder than they normally did because the sounds of the dreaded 'I love you, you love me' tune from Barney was blasting from the living room. Blasting, Olivia guessed, to try to drown out the shrieks of an unhappy Eli. Then there was the smell. Olivia wasn't sure what she could classify the smell as, all she knew was that it rivaled some of the crime scenes she had the displeasure of experiencing. And there was a hint of smoke in the air.
'Double oy.'
"Case?" she called out cautiously.
Walking towards the kitchen she took in what used to be a newly painted hallway. It was now covered in Crayola scribbles in all different shades of the rainbow. She also noted that the closer she came to the kitchen, the stronger the smell became.
"I suck," Casey said, hanging her head in defeat when she saw Olivia.
Olivia bit her lip, struggling to keep her laughter in, knowing it would only further upset Casey. "What," she paused, clearing her throat, "What happened?"
"Everything?" Casey offered woefully.
"It can't be that bad." Olivia tried to stay positive, even as she took in the disaster area that was once a kitchen, and what appeared to be strained peas clumped in Casey's hair.
Casey looked up at her in disbelief, "Do you not smell that," she struggled to come up with an appropriate word. Failing she offered, "smell?"
Thankful she didn't have to bring it up herself, Olivia nodded. "Sorry Case, but what the hell is that smell?"
Casey sighed as she pointed to the open oven door. "Half of the smell is that," she pointed to a smoldering pan on the rack.
Olivia raised her eyebrow, "What is that?"
"Well, it was the cake that Elliot asked me to make for the twins."
"What, uh, happened?" Olivia made a mental note to kill her partner. He had to know asking Casey to bake something was just asking for trouble. Did he not recall last Christmas?
"I set the timer, well I thought I set the timer…but Allie and Austin were fighting so I guess I was distracted. They have been fighting all day and I forgot it was in the oven until the smoke detectors started to go off. The noise scared Eli and he has been screaming ever since."
"And, uh, what's the other half of the smell?" Olivia was almost afraid to ask.
"Austin thought it would be fun to put one of Eli's pampers into the dryer. One of his dirty pampers."
Olivia widened her eyes in surprise. "Austin!" she called out sharply.
"Auntie Olivia!" the mischievous six year old called out, running down the hall, his sister on his heels. He came to a skidding stop when he saw the serious expression on Olivia's face.
"I'm sorry," he hung his head in shame.
"I'm not the one who needs an apology," Olivia reminded him.
Nodding, he turned to Casey, "I'm sorry Auntie Casey."
"Thanks Austin," Casey said, starting to feel slightly better.
"Now, you and Allie go outside and play for awhile, and no fighting. Understand?"
"Yes Auntie Liv." Allie said solemnly. "Lets go Austin," she grabbed her brothers hand, "We can play soccer."
"No! I want to play football," Austin argued as they reached the back door.
"Austin…" Olivia warned.
"But," he relented, "We can play soccer first if we can play football after."
"Two down, one to go," Olivia flashed a smile in Casey's direction, before heading towards the screaming banshee that was Elliot's youngest child. Before going to the toddler she shut the TV off. She couldn't hear another second of Barney and friends singing. Picking Eli up, Olivia noticed something strange.
"Hey Case?" she called.
"Yeah?" Casey entered the room.
"What happened to Eli's hair?"
Casey's shoulders slumped, "Allie was playing with Eli, and she had some gum in her mouth. She said she didn't know she lost it until Eli tried to yank it out of his hair. So I had to cut it out."
"Well, he needed a haircut anyways," Olivia tried to placate the frustrated woman.
"Elliot's going to kill me."
'Not if I kill him first.' Aloud she said as she rocked Eli, "No he won't. When was the last time Mister Crabbypants ate?"
"About an hour ago," Casey picked at a clump of dried baby food in her hair, "I'm not sure how much he actually ate though."
"Elliot didn't mention that he has discovered the fun of spitting his food back out at you?" Olivia asked, exasperated.
"Nope. Kathy started to say something about feeding him, but then the twins started fighting…"
Her partner was a dead man.
"I'm going to put him down. He should go out for the night. I'll meet you in the kitchen okay?"
"Sure," Casey agreed, slinking back to the kitchen.
Olivia headed upstairs with Eli and by the time she reached his room, he had calmed down considerably. All his screaming seemed to have exhausted him, and he was just about asleep by the time Olivia placed him in his crib. She turned his baby monitor on, grabbed the receiver, and headed back to the kitchen to help Casey clean up.
When she saw Casey, her head in her hands, clearly exhausted as well, Olivia's heart went out to her.
"Come on," she placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Lets get this mess cleaned up." Olivia went around opening up all available windows to air out the house and then headed to the cabinet under the sink and started to gather up cleaning supplies. She handed some gloves and a Brillo pad to Casey.
"Start with your charcoal cake over there," she pointed her in the direction of the stove before putting on a pair of rubber gloves and grabbing a bottle of bleach.
"Thanks Liv," Casey sighed when she saw Olivia was going to the pantry to tackle the mess in the dryer.
"Don't say I never did nothing for ya," Olivia joked, flashing her a smile.
"I wont," Casey managed to smile back, knowing that she would forever be indebted to the beautiful detective.
The redhead pulled the trashcan over to the stove and began to scrape out what should have been a chocolate cake. When most of the charcoal clumps where moved from the pan to the trash, she brought the pan over to the sink, dumped a bunch of Dawn into it and filled it up with water. As she was shutting the water off, Olivia exited the pantry, tying up a trash bag.
"I have to say," Olivia gulped in a breath of fresh air, "That was a first for me."
"Me too," Casey shook her head ruefully.
"I'm going to hunt some stuff down to clean up the wall out there, why don't you get the twins in and ready for bed?"
Casey nodded and headed towards the back door, relieved to see that the twins were nicely playing in the yard together.
"Austin, Allie, time to get ready for bed!" she called.
To her surprise, the twins immediately dropped the ball that they were throwing back and forth and came running. "Go get into your pj's and brush your teeth and we will be right up to tuck you in."
The twins quietly and obediently headed upstairs. Casey didn't hear a peep out of them as they went through their nightly ritual until Allie poked her head over the banister and quietly said, "Auntie Casey, we're ready."
Casey smiled up at her, "Okay sweetie. We'll be right up."
"They ready?" Olivia asked, seeing Casey come back into the kitchen.
"Yeah."
Olivia put down the cleaning supplies to wash her hands. After drying them, she looped an arm through Casey's and together they headed upstairs to Maureen's old room where Allie was staying.
"I'm sorry I got gum in Eli's hair Auntie Casey," Allie looked up at Casey though her thick eyelashes.
"It's alright sweetie. It was an accident," Casey tugged up her covers before planting a goodnight kiss on the little girl's cheek.
"Goodnight kiddo," Olivia leaned down, giving her a kiss.
"Night Auntie Liv, Auntie Casey," Allie said through a yawn.
Casey flicked off the overhead light and closed the door halfway before her and Olivia went to Austin's room.
"Auntie Casey? Are you mad at me?" Austin asked, worrying his lip between his teeth.
"Of course not honey," Casey ruffled his blonde locks playfully.
"If you promise you will stay with us again, I wont ever do it again, scouts honor."
"Promise," Casey dropped a kiss on the crown of his head.
"Okay, good," he snuggled down into his sheets and Olivia covered him up with his blanket.
"Goodnight sweetheart."
"Night-night," he closed his eyes as sleep quickly claimed him.
Olivia and Casey tiptoed out of his room, leaving the door cracked open.
"You're my hero!" Casey whispered gratefully as they descended the stairs.
"I'm not sure I want to ask," Olivia ventured, "But how did this happen?" she motioned to the now brightly colored wall.
"The twins were coloring while Eli watched Barney for maybe the tenth time, and when they were done I put the crayons in the desk drawer. I guess Eli knows how to get into the desk, I should have put them up one drawer higher," she shrugged.
"I am half tempted to leave this Picasso for Elliot to clean up," Olivia began, handing Casey a Mister Clean Magic Eraser, "But I don't want to do that to Kathy too"
Casey allowed herself to smile as she began to scrub at the wall, picturing the earful that Elliot was sure to get, not only from his partner, but from his wife as well, as soon as Olivia got done filling her in.
It took a good half hour of scrubbing but the wall was finally back to its original shade of robins egg blue.
"Alright, the next thing that needs to get cleaned up is you," Olivia looked over at Casey. She was a mess. A hot mess, but a mess nonetheless.
"You offering your services?" Casey joked, feeling much better now that the day was nearly over.
"So tempting. But," Olivia made a face as she tugged at a piece of baby food encrusted hair, "I think I will have to take a rain check."
"If you're lucky," Casey stuck out her tongue.
"I will be," Olivia said confidently, giving her a quick kiss. "Go jump in the shower, I have some clothes in the car."
"I'm already there!" Casey called over her shoulder on her way to the bathroom.
When Olivia returned with clean clothes for Casey, the bathroom was already steamy. She hung the clothes up on the back of the door and went to the kitchen to do a few final touch-ups. She was just finishing locking the last window back up when she heard Casey behind her. Turning around she took in the ADA's appearance.
"Much better," she playfully nodded her approval. Casey was wearing a pair of her yoga pants, and a Yankees t-shirt. Her now clean hair was gathered into a loose ponytail.
"I'll bet," Casey grinned, walking into her girlfriend's arms.
"Mmm…you smell better too!"
"Hey, watch it Detective!" Casey slapped Olivia's shoulder.
"So, we're back to formalities now, huh?" Olivia teased as she walked over to turn the TV on.
"Yup," Casey made a face as the sounds of Barney filled the air.
"Alright then, Counselor, how many times did you watch Barney today anyways?"
"I don't know…seventeen…eighteen?" she guessed.
"Wow, I don't know how you managed that. That many Barney's and I would be singing 'I hate you, you hate me, lets gang up and kill Barney'…"
"With a great big shotgun Barney hits the floor…" Casey picked up where Olivia left off.
"No more purple dinosaur," they finished in unison.
Olivia picked up the remote with a laugh and pulled Casey into her arms on the couch.
Casey gratefully settled into her embrace. "Are you picturing Elliot as the purple dinosaur right now?"
Olivia coughed to cover up her laugh, "What are you, a mind reader now?"
"Only when it comes to you." Casey yawned as Olivia channel surfed.
By the time Olivia had settled on a station Casey was knocked out. She turned the volume down, and pulled the afghan off of the back of the couch. After gently placing the blanket over them, she clicked off the table lamp, cloaking the room in darkness.
XXXX
When Casey awoke, she heard hushed voices in the hallway, and Olivia was no longer with her. She stretched; swinging her legs off of the coach, and folded the blanket back up. She peered around the corner and saw Olivia talking to Kathy, and Elliot standing in the doorway, fiddling with his tie, looking anywhere but at his partner or his wife.
Casey decided to have pity on him and not chew him out. Tonight at least. Tomorrow was fair game.
"Casey! I am so sorry!" Kathy exclaimed, seeing Casey. "Trust me when I say that Elliot is no longer in charge of babysitting instructions."
"Don't worry about it," Casey shrugged of her apologies giving her a goodnight hug after she grabbed her purse.
On her way out the door she fixed Elliot with a steely stare, enjoying seeing him squirm. "Goodnight, Kathy," she purposely left Elliot out. 'Oh yeah, this could be fun,' she thought, taking in the glare that Olivia had fixed on him.
"Goodnight guys, thanks again." Kathy gave Olivia a hug at the door, trying not to smile when she saw the looks that the two women were giving her husband. 'Make him work for it,' she thought as she locked the door behind them.
By the time she had turned around, Elliot had made a mad dash for the bathroom, trying to avoid her.
It would be fun watching him squirm for a while; Kathy smirked as she headed to check on the kids before going to bed.
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"So," Olivia began as they entered their darkened bedroom, "How long are we going to hold this against him?"
Casey yawned as she climbed into bed, "Oh, I don't know. How does forever sound?"
Olivia laughed as she settled in next to Casey, "I was thinking more along the lines of until we con him into sitting for Danny."
"Oh, you're bad!" Casey exclaimed with a grin as she thought about her freakishly impish nephew. "So bad, yet so brilliant!"
The two year old had recently discovered the wonders of a flushing toilet. And all the many things that he could send swirling down it. 'Ducky go down the hole' was his new favorite game, trying to flush away all his small rubber duckies. Needless to say, the toilet was chronically clogged as the bathroom flooded. It was not a pleasant thing to walk into, especially in bare feet as Olivia had discovered one night.
"I try," Olivia smiled, curling her body around Casey's.
"Come to think of it, Sean left a message the other day about watching him next week."
"Perfect. I'll corner Elliot tomorrow, no excuses will be accepted."
"Thanks Liv," Casey closed her eyes, "Goodnight."
"Night sweetie," Olivia dropped a kiss on the nape of her neck before allowing sleep to claim her as well.
X- Finis!- X