Flash: Weeeeee!! My first Yu-Yu fic!! I absolutely adore Yu-Yu!!!
Hiei: Uh, what's she talking about, Kurama?
Kurama: Our TV show.
Hiei: We have a TV show???
Kurama: (starts sweating)
Flash: Ok, that's enough!! Someone do the disclaimer!!
Kenshin: Uhhh....Miss Flash does not own Rurouni Kenshin, that she does not. If she did, Sano and I would...
Flash: Not that disclaimer Kenshin!! (sigh) Anyways, I don't own Yu-Yu- Hakusho. If I did, it would probably be crappy. I admit it. And to give you all a fair warning, there's yaoi in this story. Hiei x Kurama. It's not romance or anything but....
Oni: Start the fic before I get my chainsaw.
Flash: Righto!! Onwards!! Oh, and just a note...timeline?? What timeline???We Are the Urameshi Team
Chapter One; How do you spell porcupine?
Yusuke Urameshi was having a fairly normal day. He'd woken up early, beat the crap out of Kuwabara, gotten to school late, got the crap beat out of him by Keiko, arrested a lower demon, and was currently at home watching television.Needless to say, he was very bored. However; this was about to change. You see, unbeknownst to Yusuke, a fox demon and a fire koorime were slinking along the back of his apartment."Hiei, can't we just use the front door like normal people?" Kurama whispered angrily to his smaller companion, even though he knew they weren't normal people. "I'm getting my pants dirty!!"
"Hn," was Hiei's reply. However, after living closely with someone for a few years, you can usually tell what they are thinking. In this case, I believe the "hn" directly translated to: "No you stupid fox, Kuwabara is guarding the front door. And shut up, I don't give a damn about your pants."
Kurama was quite irked by this.
"You know Hiei," he hissed, "you could at least try to be friends with Kuwabara. He is in love with your sister."
"Hn."
"Yes he is....." Kurama sang. He knew exactly what to bait Hiei on, and was confident he wouldn't get killed. He was Hiei's lover after all....
Yusuke felt a sudden explosion of fire ki coming from the apartment backlot. However, being the idiot that he is, he rushed for the front door; only to find a rather pissed off Kuwabara."Urameshi!" he cried out in a voice annoying enough to drive ducks to commit suicide. "I want revenge for the two-hundred-seventy-fourth time you beat me up!!" (Though personally, I doubt Kuwabara would be able to spell that out.)"Not now baka! I just sensed Hiei's energy skyrocket!"
"Oh, you mean the porky-pine head?" Kuwabara asked.
"Of course! And you spelled porkuiqpine wrong," Yusuke commented dryly.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"Kurama burst through the door, gasping for breath and quite messed up. "Did too!" he wheezed out, then jumped behind Kuwabara just as Hiei burst through the door.
"You can't burst through the door!" Yusuke pointed out. "Kurama already did that!"
Hiei shot Yusuke a look that would have killed a normal person. In fact, I think a very nice lady in Guam died just now.
Yusuke cowered in fear.
"Now," Hiei shifted his gaze over to Kuwabara. "Hand over the fox and you won't get hurt. Much. And by that I mean you will die quickly instead of slowly and painfully."Kuwabara held up Kurama for protection, whimpering something about how he had a cat to take care of.
Now poor Kuwabara is dim-witted, we all know that. However, any idiot should know not to use Kurama for a shield in his present state. You see, Kurama had become very..moody over the past day-and-a-half. This was because he was PMSing. (Half demon fox-boys can PMS, it's been proven!!)"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF ME!!" Kurama screeched. Then he proceeded to maim Kuwabara with the following attacks; a series of bitch- slaps to the face, an elbow to the diaphragm, and a knee to the groin.
Hiei winced. Of course he had seen Kurama in this state before; in normal situations he would just go hide in a tree somewhere until his lover returned to his normal, sweet self. Yet now he was trapped and all alone; Urameshi had run off somewhere (smart guy) and Kuwabara was out for the count. This was not good."And you!" Kurama yelled, turning towards Hiei. "You think just because Yukina is your sister you can control her life! Kuwabara's a perfectly decent guy you know!" he creamed to the shorter demon, whilst pointing to the shuddering lump on the floor.
"Y—u—Yukina! You—said--..." Hiei managed to stutter out.
Under normal circumstances, Kurama would have been very remorseful. We must remember, however that he is PMSing, and therefore does not give a damn.
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!"
Poor Hiei has had a stressful, basically shitty life. To start things off bad, his mother had him thrown off a cliff, and then when his sister ran off looking for him he had to get a third eye implanted in a bloody operation. Then he was forced to team up with a bossy ningen, an idiot ningen, and a rather perverted reincarnation of a fox demon. And now the only other person besides Yukina that he ever gave a damn about just announced that they didn't give a damn about him. (Funnily enough it's the perverted fox-demon, ne?)
Hiei burst out crying.
And Kurama melted.
"Oh Hiei!" he gushed. "I'm sorry! I really am! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! So sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.." he continued, planting kisses all over his koibito's face.
Hiei grinned evilly, and pushed Kurama to the floor. "So watcha gonna do now, fox?" he taunted, looking down at him.
Yusuke peered cautiously out of the closet he had taken refuge in. It had gotten rather stuffy in there, and things seemed to have quieted down. He quickly surveyed the situation.
A vase was broken, but that was about it, unless you count Kuwabara, who was crying in the corner. Hiei and Kurama were making out on the couch. Yusuke shuddered in remembrance of last time THAT happened. That had been a perfectly good coffee table, too.
Suddenly, a rational thought popped into Yusuke's head. As this is a rare occurrence, it must be recorded. See, what happened was; he looked back and forth between the sobbing Kuwabara and Kurama and Hiei practicing full- frontal-faced snogging. And the thought that entered his head was:
"Oh gods above, I'm the only one in here with any testosterone."
(And I'm inclined to agree with him there.)
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Flash: Yay!! It's done! Didja like it? I know it wasn't very funny TT . That's why I added the little 'drama' genre to it too. And I'm sorry for the OOCness, but Kurama was PMSing!! And if you have any suggestions for the next chappy, tell me!! Because you know...
Oni: SHUT UP!!!
Flash: meep!!
Kenshin: Miss Flash says please review, that she does. It appears that the tiny purple button down there does wonders for an author's ego. And we all want Miss Flash to be happy, do we noOOOTT!! AHHH!! Put that down!!!
Flash: (sweat) Well, see ya next time!! Oni!!!! Get away from sweet Kenshin!!!