Buffy's Slaying-fest 2003- By April
star_gazer_68@hotmail.com
Pairing: None
Summary: Buffy invites all her exes over for a little bashing. Warning: MAJOR Character death.
Disclaimer: Blah blah, I don't own it. It belongs to ME, UPN, WB, and Joss Whedon.
Buffy: Wills? Got the cameras set up?
Willow: On it! We'll be upstairs watching.
(there's a knock on the door)
Buffy: I'll get it. You guys, go upstairs.
Willow: Ok, done. C'mon Xander, Dawn.
Xander: Coming, just getting my Twinkies.
Dawn: Coming.
(they go upstairs)
Buffy opens the door to reveal Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Hi. Living room, sit down…NOW!
Angel: Ok.
(another knock)
Buffy opens the door to find Riley: Hey Buffy.
Buffy: Just go sit down.
Riley goes in the living room.
Riley and Angel: WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
Buffy: We're just gonna have a little talk. I invited you two here tonight to bash the hell out of you because I hate you both for leaving me. And Riley, what's with the whore?
Riley: She's not a whore!
Angel: She was bloody stupid to marry you.
Buffy: Shut up, Deadboy! (imitating Angel)Oh blah blah, I'm Angel. Wah, I have a soul. I'm a big brooder who loves Buffy. I love Buffy.
Angel: Buffy!
Buffy: Shut up! (imitating Riley) I'm Riley everyone! I went and almost got myself killed because I thought my girlfriend didn't love me. Then I left town and married the biggest whore in this hemisphere.
Riley: Hey!
Buffy: I'm not finished. I told you to come unarmed. Know why?
Riley: Wh---
He's cut off, literally, when Buffy slices off his head.
Buffy: Ooops!
Angel: Oh my god…you killed---
He's cut off by a stake to the heart and his dust crumbles to the floor besides Riley's bleeding body.
(upstairs)
Xander: SHE KILLED DEADBOY! How come she didn't invite Spike too?
Willow: I don't know.
(downstairs)
Buffy goes over to the camera and punches it out.
(upstairs)
Dawn: Hmmm.
Buffy enters the room: Did you guys see? I killed them!
Xander: That was awesome!
Willow: Go B---
Willow stops as she sees Buffy pull out a crossbow.
Dawn: Buffy, what are y—
Buffy: Shut up! Did you think I'd stop at them? Who's first.
Dawn: B---
Buffy: Ok you. (stakes Dawn)
Willow: Buffy! What did you do that f----
Buffy: Two down. (stakes Willow)
Xander just stands there scared.
Buffy: What Xand, cat got your tongue?
Xander: ….
Buffy: Good enough for me! Buh bye you bloody whelp.
Xander: Spik—
"Buffy" stakes him as well and his dead body falls to the ground along with everyone else. "Buffy" goes over to the closet and opens it to find the real Buffy tied and gagged. "Buffy" removes the gag.
Buffy: What did you do?
"Buffy": Killed Peaches, Soldier Boy, the whelp, Red, and nibblet.
Buffy: Why Spike?
"Buffy" morphs back into Spike: I'm on a killing spree.
Buffy: Why Spike?
Spike: Bloody hell, just SHUT UP!
Spike shoots the crossbow and it goes right through Buffy's head.
Buffy: Oh sh—
Spike: That was fun, who to kill, who to kill?