*After Organization XIII
(oh yeah, I thought I was pretty funny thinking that up 1.30 AM 8)
- The Birthday wish -
The one thing he had wished for the most while blowing out his five birthday candles were to get a heartless-plushy. An awful thing for a resident of Destiny Island to be wishing for but a five-year old boy wouldn't understand why. He wanted a heartless-plushy to snuggle up against so he could prove to Riku he was braver than everyone else, so he could win one of their bets and get to grow a few inches in pride (whatever pride a five-year old could manage to have).
***
-13 years later, *, Sora's kitchen 8.00 PM , Destiny Islands-
***
"What are you going to wish for this year?", Kairi asked him while Riku took a big piece of the crown-shaped cake. "Hm, maybe you're supposed blow out the candles on the morning on your actual birthday but everyone's going away tomorrow and-"
"HEY, Isn't I'M supposed to take the first slice since it's MY birthday?", Sora pouted but then his forehead creased a bit and he put a finger over his lip as he always did when he was thinking of the right thing to do. "Can I really tell you that without risking the wish to not come true? Besides, one day early shouldn't even count."
Riku snorted loudly to make a clear statement Sora was being way too much of a wuss but the other two ignored him as they kept their conversation fluid. He ate his stupid piece, put his hands on his neck when he was done and leaned back to observe his two friends, his two best friends. So this was what life was going to be like? About stupid birthday wishes? He closed his eyes without the slightest sigh. Less than a year ago they'd been standing face to face with kingdom hearts for the second time and walked right into nothingness itself. The road home, well. That wasn't something he'd like to think about at all and now they were back on Destiny Islands like nothing had happened. Stupid, stupid, stu-
"Cut it out!", he barked, his thoughts interrupted by Wakka and Tidus sneaking up on him and screaming their lounges of right in his ears. The other members of the youngsters of the islands had arrived and within a moment the calm little gathering turned in to a party.
"Put the beat on", Selphie scowled over the laughter and Sora, who was surprised that only three people could make so much noise within such a small time span, smiled and went over to the stereo to do as he was told. I guess I should celebrate my 18th birthday the way I'm supposed to. Let's make the most of it, he thought to himself and washed away every thought unfitting a party when the music swallowed him, his home and his friends the way it was supposed to.
***
- 3.00 AM, Sora's bathroom floor -
***
The boy groaned and moaned and flushed the toilet. He had just gotten a little too carried away and just a smudge too much of the fun for him to handle it properly. The music and the otherwise comforting sound of life and movement were still coming from the living room but the volume of it all was turned down to a minimum since two hours back. To Sora, it all sounded like every sound that wasn't coming from inside of his head was fuzzy and hard to snap up. Just like when the radio wasn't tuned in right and the songs would crack up and sound all robot-like (and that always happened when the best part of the song was about to start.)
He banged his head against the white wall and blinked his eyes in an attempt to feel awake enough to get up and brush his teeth or at least have a glass of water.
"What happened to you, you look like a mess" said a familiar voice that sounded clear and steady.
Sora's eyes blinked one last time and looked up as alert as if he'd been asleep forever and just realized he was fully rested and ready to go. Within a second he was up on his feet, ignoring the nausea rushing through him and staring his mirror-reflection down without knowing what to say.
"I think you need some rest..."
Shut up, you don't exist! Not anymore. I don't remember you, I'm not supposed to! I'm not supposed to be able to remember you. You don't exist!
Sora leaned against the wall behind the bathroom cabinet and closed his eyes with his face facing the sink instead of the mirror.
"That doesn't sound like you, Sora, I-"
Shut up. Shut up, shut up "SHUT UP!", he took a deep breath after quieting the voice and glanced up at the reflection. A blond boy with the same cerulean eyes as himself looked back at him. He was standing in the same position and wore the same facial expression on his slightly tanned faced but he wasn't the same person. He wasn't Sora, he wasn't anybody at all. A Nobody that didn't even exist anymore and yet the other half of him in so many ways. How could this be?
"Roxas…", Sora tried his name on his lips for the first time since they said goodbye and the fact that it felt so natural and right scared him.
***
- 4.00 AM, Sora's bedroom -
***
Everyone had gone home and the bare thought of cleaning the mess up made him exhausted, so there he sat in his bed on the covers and with all his clothes on just staring out the window in front of him. The sky was dark blue with tiny dots marking the sky waiting for something bigger to happen. He didn't have any words to say to anyone, not even himself which was ironically true in two different but yet the same ways so he sat in silence, blocking the thoughts in his head.
"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday", Roxas' naïve voice went through his body like a warm wind filling the void where the words were supposed to be and Sora opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out but a still moaning sound.
"The thing is… we're not the same. No matter what people say I'm not you", Roxas appeared through the doorway and walked right up to the bed and sat down in front of his brunette , leaned against the wall, knees drawn up a little and his hand resting on them. His searching eyes looked around the room for answers Sora couldn't give him but when he didn't find any he started to talk again.
"I can't be you. We're too different. I have no doubt in my mind that we belong together though, 'cause we do make a cute couple. We belong together for just one night. This doesn't sound like me at all, but if I'm not you and I'm not really me, then I'm not at all which means I can say whatever I'd like because nothing of this is really happening…?", He didn't seem to quite follow that sentence himself but Sora seemed to react on it, like his own self started to come back to him a little after going on auto-pilot for an hour or so.
"It's just that I've missed you ever since we first met. I miss you and I'm trying my hardest not to because I know this isn't real… but please be? It sure would help a lot to actually know you existed more than in my head…"
The two boys both sat motionless in silence until Sora suddenly started move closer to Roxas, placing himself in between his legs and staring him in the eyes, meeting a glance with a longing that was starting to hurt.
"Is th-" , Sora started but with a slow shush Roxas put one finger against his soft lips and bit his own a little to buy himself some more time to think and build up courage. He watched the brunette's blushing cheeks, leaned in closer so he could hear the racing sweet breath and feel the warmth of his skin and kissed the lips he'd been imagining the taste of for so long. Sora answered the kiss, separating their lips and taking in as much of the feelings he could while dancing with his hands up to Roxas' soft next and playing with his hair. The blond pulled him closer, slipping his jacket off so easy he didn't even notice it and then worked his own shirt revealing a body sculptured perfectly to fit Sora's. Fingertips that were careful to not do anything wrong got more and more eager until they just couldn't take it anymore and pulled him as close as possible. How could anything taste more perfect? How could anyone as close as this not be real?
After an hour of making sure that their other still was there willing and eager to taste and feel the two boys fell asleep on the covers. Just before their eyes were completely sunken in another dreamworld, Sora nuzzled up against Roxas and drew in the exquisite scent.
"Happy birthday Sora", Roxas said under a quiet laugh.
"Thank you for giving me the best present …", Sora answered but Roxas fell to sleep before he even had the chance to respond. This is the closest to a Heartless-plushy I'll ever get…
***
- Sora's bedroom, 11.00 AM-
***
When Sora woke up that morning he woke up alone, nothing but the vague memories and the sweet scent of the blonde still lingering on his pillows.
Every birthday from that day on, he wished for one thing when he blew out his birthday candles. He wished for a Heartless-plushy. Not for the cause of seeming brave, but for the cause of following his heart even though the chances were it wasn't for real.