The spreading rage was so visceral, so all-consuming, that it burned like acid on his tongue. The Conference Room was deathly quiet as Tony stared back at him with real and true fear splashed across his face. But he was gone past the point of seeing that terror, he was gone past the point of seeing anything, let alone the most basic of reason. All he could see was the disobedience, the flagrant lying and the downright idiocy of the actions in question. It all burned into his brain like molten iron and his blood pressure sky rocketed as he put all the pieces together. The sneaking around, the deceit, the unparralled insubordination. The danger, the near catastrophe that had been so narrowly avoided. He was, for the first time in a very long time, positively shaking in anger. The red mist that had been drummed out of him in the Marines was descending slowly over his eyes, as if Satan himself was working the pulley, grinning his demonic smile with every squeaking turn.
His heart hammered with the effort of pumping the burning ire throughout his body.
It had been only fifty one seconds since the end of Tony's stammering admission and apology had stuttered around the room. But it had been the longest fifty one seconds in DiNozzo's life, whereas for Gibbs, only a split second had passed. The red mist was nearly all the way down and all he could see was the outrageous disobedience that had led to perilous danger. The fact that Tony was standing in front of him, alive and unscathed, was a miracle he was in no frame of mind to appreciate. The elastic band that was his temper control was stretching and stretching as he stared unseeingly at his senior agent. His blood was sloshing furiously in his ears as his breathing caught in his chest. In a more rational frame of mind, he would know that it was fear that drove his rage. Fear of burying one of his own. But he was in no rational frame of mind. He was losing it. The elastic band was stretching and straining until it could stretch and strain no more.
All of a sudden, it snapped.
He didn't see Tony step back in confusion and shock as he stormed towards him, one hand undoing his belt as he barrelled forwards. He didn't even hear his bewildered squawk of "Boss? What are you doing…no, no wait. What are you….Boss!" He barely felt his hand encase Tony's upper arm in a dangerously vice like grip. He was an auto pilot as he bodily and easily pushed him with brute force over the Conference Room table with all the delicacy one would treat a rag doll with. He didn't hear the panicked pleas as he applied military style restraining pressure on the small of the back he would usually place a gentle hand upon. He didn't care to acknowledge the frantic squirming that was a first time occurrence from Tony, other then to robotically end it with brute and detached force.
The first crack of the belt was deafening, it sliced the air like wildfire.
The intense squirming and panic stricken pleading instantly ceased. Not that he noticed. He didn't even register that Tony suddenly froze like a statue under his hand and not a single word or gasp of pain escaped him. He became instantly and terrifyingly rigid. Rigid and silent. The blood was still crashing against his ears as his complete loss of control continued to play out. The belt rose and fell like a conductor's baton. The cracking of the belt echoed around the room, but the usual corresponding yelps and grunts of pain did not. With his face uncomfortably pressed into the cool wooden surface, Tony completely and utterly shut down. The pain registered as much as it always did, but he found no physical or emotional response to give. He was somewhere else, far away from his adult self and far away from the Conference Room C at NCIS' headquarters.
He was far, far away.
The whipping was just that, a whipping. Gibbs had worn him out more times than either could quantify, but never like this. Never, ever like this. The application of the belt was frenzied, dripping with unbridled anger. It was a beating. For the first time in his life, Gibbs was beating him. Not with the intent to correct and to teach, but with the spitting desire to wound, to agonise. But it was ok, he wasn't there. He had learned a long, long time ago to not be there. He was somewhere else. He hadn't been to this place in a long, long time but it was as familiar as ever. It was home.
And then, as suddenly and terrifyingly as it had started, it stopped.
The painful hold on his back and right arm was released and the air that had been compressed into his lungs seeped slowly out. He didn't move, he couldn't move. He just lay motionless. He was in absolute agony, but that was ok. He knew how to deal with that. And he deserved it. He always deserved it, always had. It was entirely his own fault. All his own fault, his own doing. No tears had fallen from his eyes, they weren't even wet. He knew better than that, had learned a long time to never, ever cry. That only made things worse. His ribs ached from the pressure that had been exerted upon the back of his torso, but that was ok too. It would go away in about two hours. Maybe a little longer now, what with his lungs and all, but it would go away. He continued to lay there apathetically, his world no longer his.
He could see the deadened green hue in his eyes looking back at him from the highly polished oak, a mere fraction of an inch from his nose. His breathing was a little laboured, but he knew that would ease up in a while. Besides, it was nothing he hadn't brought upon himself. As he lay there, his world view changing forever, a clashing noise jerked him out of his pensive reverie. It was the sound of the Conference Room door opening roughly and slamming shut. He blinked. He was alone now. And as he lay there in his puddle of pain, a fact hit him like a sharpened spear to the soul.
He had never been more alone.
….
A/N: Ok, so like I've said in a few other stories, I don't like my Gibbs to be this perfect, Mary Sue character. In the show he's as flawed as it gets, so it's cool to translate that into stories. I've been toying with the idea of a "Gibbs completely loses it with one of the team and does something unthinkable" story for a while and this is what I've gone with. Originally, I had Tim instead of Tony in this one, but Tony then seemed to work better. Probably be a four chapter fic. I will rectify the two, in time! Promise! _Inks
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