Cid And Edea's OTHER Love Child
Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own anything. I swear, the only thing I own is the goddamned
story that people just happen to be reviewing and S.C. just happens to be like ^_^ because
all of her stories are getting reviews! Now, if that isn't a reason not to write a sequal, I
don't know what is! I'll have to ask Lane Navachi or Lady Garnet.
Authoress' Rant: /\____/\ she's super happy. She will turn :-0 if you don't review. (Yeah,
like that's a scary face?!?) Oh yeah, to get this story, Read Cid and Edea's Love Child. It
helps, since this story picks up where it left off.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fujin's trademark scream rang out all across the Garden Halls. Blood began to shoot out
of Squall's ears and nose because of the echo and aftershocks, but Seifer and Miripokie...
Mira just kinda stood there. (Well, Mira was in his arms.)
When Fujin was done, she sprang out of bed and into Squall. A really big fight broke out,
that included Squall's hair being ripped out. It ended up with Squall being bald in some
places. Fujin's eyepatch being lopsided her clothes being torn and she was wearing a
hospital gown. Seifer began to reflect on this.
(oooh, kinky!)
As they got up, Squall went to the baby in Seifiepoo's arms. He smiled at the small, light
brown hair of wonder.
"Can I hold her?" Fujin stood behind him and shook her head so hard, her hair became a
whirlwind on her head. Seifer shrugged.
"Sure." He handed the baby to her.... him. Fujin walked up to Seifer and clapped him
upside the head. Leonheart rocked the baby a little too fast. Fujin was about to stop him,
but Seifer held her back. He put his finger to his lips and smiled.
"Aww, she has my cheeks and hair..oh my GOD!!!!" Squall screamed.
Mira Illusion Almasy threw up on the front of her Uncle Squall's leather pants. It was that
I-am-a-baby-so-I-puke-white-stuff sort of vomit.
"SHIT! Damn baby!"
Mira Illusion Almasy peed on the front of Squall's pants, just to get him back. (Eww.
Wait... the front?) Fujin took her child, cooing her and telling her what a wonderful baby
she was.
Seifer shrugged, (I guess that's her version of RAGE) he thought. A picture of Beatrix
from Alexandria came into his mind with her throwing up on the Queen. He pushed it out,
wanting to forget that moment ever happened.
Cid and Edea came in when they heard Squall scream.
"OH MY POOR KINKYPANTSPIE!!" Cid came in with his arms flaling about. He
wrapped his arms around Squall's legs and cried. (Remember, he's wearing no shirt.)
"Yes dear, it is a tragedy that Squall cannot wear pants anymore." Edea said with dripping
sacasm. She was also drooling. "What a shame... Oh well, gone with the old, in with the
new!" And in one fluid motion, Squall's pants were down and off. He wore silk
tighty-whities that were black and had gil all over them.
"OOOOHHHH, now we can tell you what your name means!!!" Cid jumped for joy.
"Let's see. L-E-O-N-H-A-R-T.
Leathery-expectant-of-nobody's buisness-horny-and-randy-Tigger! Oh goodie, I
remembered it!" Edea clapped, happy and still wearing her,
I AM THE GRANDMOTHER OF SEIFIEPOO AND FUJIEPIE'S LOVE CHILD!
And the cap saying Mother of Seifer A.L.M.A.S.Y. with a bumper sticker that added
Squall L.E.O.N.H.A.R.T.
"Cid, do you remeber his nickname?" (Oh God, the nickname.) You see folkies, the
nickname was something about his cheeks and his favorite animals as a kid from his
'Parents' and Selphie, who was the devil child and knew all horrendous things about his life
from her father. Now, with the addition of a 'pokie' 'pie' or 'poo', it would be worse.
"I got the perfect ending! His name is... CHEEKYMONKEYPOOPIE!!!!!"
"Cheekymonkeypoopie." Seifer repeated. That was the name Squall loathed so much, it
hurt.
Seifer took this time to get aquainted with the word. He almost said it again, but...
"SHUT UP, YOUNGER BROTHER!!"
"Oooo, and I'm taller than you, you second shortest main charactor of Final Fantasy VIII."
Seifer smirked, knowing that Zell was the shortest charactor.
"You know, you guy's aren't even married." Squall reminded them.
"Yeah, so?" Seifer replied.
"Well, don't you wanna?" Fujin thought about this. (Married? Marrige? To Seifiepoo?)
Secretly, Fujin dreamed of a wedding. But not an ordinary wedding. She wanted one that
included spandex, whips, and a groom, in a black, tight, lycra suit with too many zippers
and him going condo. Then she remembered that this was her dream HONEYMOON. She
also remembered that most of that happened nine months ago and tried to remember her
wedding dream. Oh, oh, oh yeah. It included Fujin in a black tux and Seifer in a wedding
gown, with pink flowers in his hair and him, running up to her and into her arms like in the
start of FFVIII with Squall and Rinoa. Satified, she zapped out of her day dream.
"KINDA." Seifer stared at Fujin in horror.
"You seriously want me to dress up like your little love bunny and hop you away to a little
place with a white picket fence and we can live happily ever after?" Seifer asked. You see,
his wedding dream was to be back in his little pink bunny suit, hopping around and then,
being carried by a chibi Fujin. Then they would go to a Garden, shoot every single last
person that he hated, finishing it with Squall and then make it their little love nest. He
sighed. This, of course, would never happen. Only because, no matter how much Silver
Child hated Rinoa, she couldn't kill her. Actually, she could, but just not in this fic. Try
reading Death Fight, I just might do that. (I am such a Bitch!)
"NO. WEDDING NICE."
"Hold on!" Selphie burst into the door, followed by Irvine, Raijin and Zell. "Your gonna
have a Wedding? BOOYAKA!!!!!!"
"So, your actually going to marry the bitch, Seifer?"
"Which one?" He looked at the Authoress.
"Aw, Seifer." Silver Child blushed. "That was so sweet! Thank you!"
Lane Navachi rolled her eyes and smacked her upside the head.
"Awww, Fujin!!! Now we can go shopping!!!!! BOOYAKA!!!!!" Selphie bounced up and
down on her toes. "I am going to by that cute, miniskirt and a hot top and you are going
to look great!! Then, we'll go out and strut our stuff on the streets, while looking for a
wedding gown for you!! This is so BOOYAKA!!" Fujin flinched. She didn't want a
wedding gown. She wanted a tux.
"Ooooooooo, Oooooooo, Ooooooooo! I wanna come too! It'll be so COOLYA! I gotta
by a wedding dress for my wife anyway!" Raijin stated.
"What wife, Raijin?" Irvine asked. (If Raijin has a wife, I must of shot my head
somewhere.)
"Oh, she's not here right now. I gotta go get one, ya know. Hey, Irvine, will you be my
wife?" He got down on one knee and pulled at Irvine's pants leg. Fujin walked up to him,
about to kick him in the head, when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and
gasped.
Selphie had done it. She had finally done it. She had grown claws instead of fingers and
horns. A pitch fork was in her used to be hands and a long, devil's tail grew out of her
butt. Her eyes were dyed red and she work the female version of Ifrit's clothing, barely
covering her chest. She had turned into the devil child...
Fujin had only seen this rage twice before, when Cid had touched Irvine's butt and said
that he had a wedge and he wanted to pick it for him and when Irvine joked and said he
was going to break up with her.
"Allow me." her voice was husky and she took a pleading Raijin by the back of his collar
and slamed the door behind her. Flames and the sound of scorching was heard and when
she came back in, she was back in the yellow dress with the red pockets, happy-go-lucky
again. It was a scary transition to watch.
"Gee, and I thought Fujin was a bitch." Zell said. Everyone nodded.
"Raijin, why do you have to get married?" asked Seifer.
"Live together, marry together, die together. That's the posse rule, right?"
No one answered.
Three Days Later
"Wait, ya know!" Raijin came in the infirmary with a dead fish. "We gotta morn over the
fish, ya know!!"
"We aren't going outside and morning over a dead fish, and that's that! It died NINE
FRIGGIN' MONTHS AGO!" Seifiepoo said.
Three minutes later, they were morning over a dead fish.
Raijin was in a black hat with a veil attachment, a sequin black dress that was too tight in
the waist/chest area and black pumps with a matching purse. His black mascara was
running and his red lipstick was horrible on his dark complexion. As usual, he looked like
a doofus. (That's it, I'm drawing a picture of that!)
"Er, okay." Seifer started. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the death of Raijin...'s
fish."
"He had a name, ya know." Raijin said into his purse.
"Which was?" Seifer asked. This was getting pathetic.
"Seifer, ya know." he said.
"SEIFER! YA KNOW!" Seifer repeated, made a face, and continued.
"Okay, so we are celebrating the death of Seifer." Seifer said. This was sad. "I would like
to say that this sucks that I'm dead, on behalf of the dead Seifer. Fujin, bring the casket."
Fujin brought out the cardboard box, which Fujin labeled R.I.P., buried the fish outside of
the Flying Garden's doors, and ran away before they got caught.
Later, Raijin went around, asking everyone if they would be his love bunny.... I mean wife.
(Yeah, like that's any better.) These were some of the results.
"Quistis, will you marry me?"
"No, I'm waiting for Squall."
"Lady from the library, will you marry me?"
"No I'm waiting for Squall." Zell runs away to go for another passion in life. The only love
of his life. A hotdog. But not just any hotdog. THE GOLDEN WEENIE OF TRUTH.
You know, the one he hangs by a string in his room, which is surrounded by pictures of
him and the weenie going to Disneyland, Disneyworld, and EuroDisney. He would strap
the weenie in and go on the Dumbo ride until they both puked (Or I puke, first,
considering that I have to take him there every year with this, long, golden weenie. Good
thing I'm a vegitarian.)
"Selphie will you-"
The devil child glared.
Then, Raijin decided that he found the perfect wife. Fujin was still in the infirmary with
Seifer and on that very day, he rushed in with the perfect wife.
Zell.
"Everyone, ZELL'S GONNA BE MY WIFE!" (-IFE, -IFe, -Ife, -ife.) it echoed.
"Yo, get the hella off me, man!!" but Zell was a runt compared to Raijin, and was forced
to marry him.
"There is no way that Zell is living in my house." Seifer said. "It bad enough we know his
name!"
So it was decided, Zell would be Raijin's new wife.
~~~~~Wedding day, eight months later~~~~~
Seifer... Fujin looked in the mirror of the Garden Lobby, fixed her bowtie and smoothed
down her tux, happy to be back in pants. Selphie had her in the mall, walking up and down
the walkway in a tight blue plaid skirt and tight, black shirt while trying to find a wedding
dress Seifer's size. They finally found one, but... er... to perfect himself as being an
EX-Knight, he... er...ah... um... you'll see.
Raijin was happy that Zell was so short because finding a dress his size was easier. Of
course we all know that Zell looks so much better as a woman, so his hair.... hee hee.
Suspence is fun.
Fujin picked up her daughter, who was in a matching outfit as Fujin. She was suppose to
be the Flower Girl and her basket of cherry bombs were well in order. Her hair was jagged
and reached her ears. Actually, it was almost like a cross between Squall and Fujin's and
little pieces of silver were peaking out in small strands. This is a simple conversation
between Fujin and Mira.
"WALKING, AISLE." Fujin started. Mira only talked in Fujin's tongue when she wanted
to. Fujin was so proud that she had learned at such a young age.
"THROW, BOMBS." Mira said, happily.
"COMPLY, NOT?" Fujin asked.
"RAGE!" Mira punched her chubby hands into the air. She did a *special* RAGE that
Fujin was so happy about.
"RAGE, WHO?"
Mira smiled. "UNCLE SQUALLY!" Fujin nodded. She put the kid down and walked to
the steps with Raijin, where Seifiepoo had to meet her and Zellypoo had to meet him.
Two minutes later, the Garden kids looked behind them on there foldable chairs and
watched Mira walk down the aisle, throwing her carefully disguised cherry bombs at the
Garden kids. MosMost ducked and so she went up to them and pulled their hair. But that still
wasn't her RAGE. We just have to wait until Squall comes.
Then came Happy Booyaka Kinneas, Selphie and Irvine's kid. HE bounced down the aisle,
being the ring bearer, waving to all of the people and his parents. Fujin felt the sudden
motion of Mira wanting to RAGE Happy, but she put a restraint on her shoulder, a
warning telling her to wait until Squall came. Happy came up to Mira and stood next to
her, talking absent-mindedly to Mira. (So much like his mother.) Mira said nothing and
wasn't even looking at him as she punched Happy off of the top of the steps. Fujin patted
her arm. Selphie and Irvine looked at the scary... no no, scary would be the
happy-go-lucky Fujin... exact version of Fujin.
Next to come was Squall and Rinoa, the worst man and the brute of dishoner. They
walked down in black and blue.
Mira smiled, knowing that she would be able to vent out her anger. Squall saw her and
groaned. THIS would HURT.
As he approached the top of the steps, Mira walked to meet him.
"ANGRY! RAGE!!!!!" and with that, Mira booted him in the nuts. He rolled down the
steps, holding his crotch. Fujin did a ^________________________________________^
and almost started crying.
(I am SO PROUD!)
Finally, Seifer and Zell came walking in the door. Zell's hair was greeced, moosed, gel and
all of those other products that are countries, animals, and food. Finally it was put into
pigtails high above his head. He also put in nerf balls as breasts.
Unfortuantly, Seifer didn't have as much hair, so they bought him a wig. The wig was a
blue beehive style that stood about three feet and earned him the name Marge, from the
Simpsons. Then, the gown was a leopard skin print, which offended Squall greatly. And to
top it all off, he had strapped Hyperion on and put on an old-fashioned metal Knight's
helmet with a white tassel and pink bunny ears. The helmet litterally sat on top of his new
hair, but Seifer was happy.
"Don't mess this up for me, Seifer." Zell whispered through smiling teeth. Seifer shrugged
and put on an overly exaggerated smile. All of the remaining people who didn't get
creamed by a cherry bomb ran away at the smile. It was just plain scary.
Seifer began to climb the steps, before falling on his face. Zell looked at him, rolled his
eyes and stated loudly.
"UNLIKE YOU SEIFER, I'VE WORN HIGH-HEELS BEFORE!!!"
Seifer got up on his feet, bitch slapped him, walked a few steps, and fell on his face. Zell
walked on his hair, leaving a black foot print and up the steps. Seifer stood up, took out
Hyperion from it's shealth and ran up, swearing that Zell was going to die, then fell on his
face again. Fujin watch, in horror, everytime he fell, before he reached the top and
shealthed Hyperion.
Cid smiled, happy that his son had made it up the steps, with out harm. (It's the hair) He
opened the case of the FFVIII games.
"Hiya!! We are gathered here today to..."
"WAIT!" Zell said. "I CAN'T DO IT!!"
A collected gasp.
"Why not, ya know?" Raijin asked.
"Because," He ripped off his clothes to reveal a red basketball uniform with the number 23
on the back. "I wanna be a basketball player!"
"Zell, your the shortest main charactor in Final Fantasy VIII. How in hell are you going to
be a basketball player?" Mira asked. Fujin beamed. (She's learning new words.)
"Easy, my short one,"
"RAGE!" busted balls.
Zell sucked in his breath, proving that he was less sensitive than Squall. Squall let his jaw drop.
"I'm not going to be a basketball player in hell! I'm going to play against MICHAEL
JORDAN!!!! OH YEAH!!!" Zell then runs away all happy and stupid until he runs into the
door, pauses, opens the door, then runs out all happy and stupid!
"You okay, Raijin?" Happy asked.
"Fine, 'cause I gotta back-up plan!" Raijin pulled something small out of his pocket.
"RAIJIN! THAT'S THE DEAD FISH!!!!!" Seifer said. "YOU CAN'T MARRY A DEAD FISH!!!"
So it was decided. He would marry the dead fish.
Cid began.
"Dearly departed and all those who farted. We are gathered here today because Seifer
threatened us to be here, but that's not the point. Anyway Fujiepie, do you take this
blue-haired, Marge-wanna-be, to be your awfully wedded husband? To have and to hold
in bed, for richer, most likely poorer, until death you say bye-bye?"
"AFFERMATIVE."
"Seifiepoo? Do you take the PMSed, bitchy-assed, one-eyed albino to be your awfully
weeds and flowers wife? er... husband? You know, I never really knew."
"RAGE!" Two kicks and he went down.
"Anyway, I say yeah. Come on, hurry up! I wanna hop on the good foot and do the bad
thang!" Seifer yelled.
Cid got up. "Okay, Raijin, do you take this rotten old decaying fish to be you stinkily
wedded wife."
"Husband and it has a name, ya know!" Seifer put his hand to his eyes and screamed.
"Well, Raijiepookie, what is it?" Cid asked.
"SEIFER! DUH! YA KNOW!" Squall almost fell backwards and off the steps. Of course,
he actually did fall off when he was 'helped' by his niece.
"But," Cid pointed to the human Seifer. "That's Seifer."
"No, that's Seifer 2." Cid scratched his head.
"No, Seifiepoo!" He pinched Seifer's cheeks. "Your Seifer, my blue-haired bunny."
"JUST MARRY THEM!" Seifer said. He didn't want to have to live with a decaying fish.
"'Kay! I do, ya know!" Raijin said, gleefully!
"And you, Mr. Other-Seifer-Which-My-Own-Son-Is-Abusing-Me-Of. Do you take this
lump of muscle to be your... wife?"
No answer.
"Mr. Fishiepoo?"
Still no answer.
"SHE SAYS YES, YA KNOW. Only I can understand her. It comes naturally when you
lived in DeadFishyLand for a full three months until Fujin finally had to go to the
bathroom."
"RAGE!" He was out like a light.
~~~~~~~~~Ten minutes later~~~~~~~~
Fujin smiled as she turned around. There was Seifer, falling into her arms in his wedding
gown. But just as he was almost in her arms, Fujin saw a SHINY PENNY! So, she bent
down and picked it up, but it was too late for Seifer.
He fell off the cliff.
"OOPS!"
"SHHHIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!"
Fujin turned to Rinoa and Squall.
"Did you get that?" Squall smiled and nodded from behind the camera.
Seifer sat at the bottom of the cliff. It was one thing when your friends tried to kill you. It
was another when they didn't succeed.
"You guys are soooooo dead!"
Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own anything. I swear, the only thing I own is the goddamned
story that people just happen to be reviewing and S.C. just happens to be like ^_^ because
all of her stories are getting reviews! Now, if that isn't a reason not to write a sequal, I
don't know what is! I'll have to ask Lane Navachi or Lady Garnet.
Authoress' Rant: /\____/\ she's super happy. She will turn :-0 if you don't review. (Yeah,
like that's a scary face?!?) Oh yeah, to get this story, Read Cid and Edea's Love Child. It
helps, since this story picks up where it left off.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fujin's trademark scream rang out all across the Garden Halls. Blood began to shoot out
of Squall's ears and nose because of the echo and aftershocks, but Seifer and Miripokie...
Mira just kinda stood there. (Well, Mira was in his arms.)
When Fujin was done, she sprang out of bed and into Squall. A really big fight broke out,
that included Squall's hair being ripped out. It ended up with Squall being bald in some
places. Fujin's eyepatch being lopsided her clothes being torn and she was wearing a
hospital gown. Seifer began to reflect on this.
(oooh, kinky!)
As they got up, Squall went to the baby in Seifiepoo's arms. He smiled at the small, light
brown hair of wonder.
"Can I hold her?" Fujin stood behind him and shook her head so hard, her hair became a
whirlwind on her head. Seifer shrugged.
"Sure." He handed the baby to her.... him. Fujin walked up to Seifer and clapped him
upside the head. Leonheart rocked the baby a little too fast. Fujin was about to stop him,
but Seifer held her back. He put his finger to his lips and smiled.
"Aww, she has my cheeks and hair..oh my GOD!!!!" Squall screamed.
Mira Illusion Almasy threw up on the front of her Uncle Squall's leather pants. It was that
I-am-a-baby-so-I-puke-white-stuff sort of vomit.
"SHIT! Damn baby!"
Mira Illusion Almasy peed on the front of Squall's pants, just to get him back. (Eww.
Wait... the front?) Fujin took her child, cooing her and telling her what a wonderful baby
she was.
Seifer shrugged, (I guess that's her version of RAGE) he thought. A picture of Beatrix
from Alexandria came into his mind with her throwing up on the Queen. He pushed it out,
wanting to forget that moment ever happened.
Cid and Edea came in when they heard Squall scream.
"OH MY POOR KINKYPANTSPIE!!" Cid came in with his arms flaling about. He
wrapped his arms around Squall's legs and cried. (Remember, he's wearing no shirt.)
"Yes dear, it is a tragedy that Squall cannot wear pants anymore." Edea said with dripping
sacasm. She was also drooling. "What a shame... Oh well, gone with the old, in with the
new!" And in one fluid motion, Squall's pants were down and off. He wore silk
tighty-whities that were black and had gil all over them.
"OOOOHHHH, now we can tell you what your name means!!!" Cid jumped for joy.
"Let's see. L-E-O-N-H-A-R-T.
Leathery-expectant-of-nobody's buisness-horny-and-randy-Tigger! Oh goodie, I
remembered it!" Edea clapped, happy and still wearing her,
I AM THE GRANDMOTHER OF SEIFIEPOO AND FUJIEPIE'S LOVE CHILD!
And the cap saying Mother of Seifer A.L.M.A.S.Y. with a bumper sticker that added
Squall L.E.O.N.H.A.R.T.
"Cid, do you remeber his nickname?" (Oh God, the nickname.) You see folkies, the
nickname was something about his cheeks and his favorite animals as a kid from his
'Parents' and Selphie, who was the devil child and knew all horrendous things about his life
from her father. Now, with the addition of a 'pokie' 'pie' or 'poo', it would be worse.
"I got the perfect ending! His name is... CHEEKYMONKEYPOOPIE!!!!!"
"Cheekymonkeypoopie." Seifer repeated. That was the name Squall loathed so much, it
hurt.
Seifer took this time to get aquainted with the word. He almost said it again, but...
"SHUT UP, YOUNGER BROTHER!!"
"Oooo, and I'm taller than you, you second shortest main charactor of Final Fantasy VIII."
Seifer smirked, knowing that Zell was the shortest charactor.
"You know, you guy's aren't even married." Squall reminded them.
"Yeah, so?" Seifer replied.
"Well, don't you wanna?" Fujin thought about this. (Married? Marrige? To Seifiepoo?)
Secretly, Fujin dreamed of a wedding. But not an ordinary wedding. She wanted one that
included spandex, whips, and a groom, in a black, tight, lycra suit with too many zippers
and him going condo. Then she remembered that this was her dream HONEYMOON. She
also remembered that most of that happened nine months ago and tried to remember her
wedding dream. Oh, oh, oh yeah. It included Fujin in a black tux and Seifer in a wedding
gown, with pink flowers in his hair and him, running up to her and into her arms like in the
start of FFVIII with Squall and Rinoa. Satified, she zapped out of her day dream.
"KINDA." Seifer stared at Fujin in horror.
"You seriously want me to dress up like your little love bunny and hop you away to a little
place with a white picket fence and we can live happily ever after?" Seifer asked. You see,
his wedding dream was to be back in his little pink bunny suit, hopping around and then,
being carried by a chibi Fujin. Then they would go to a Garden, shoot every single last
person that he hated, finishing it with Squall and then make it their little love nest. He
sighed. This, of course, would never happen. Only because, no matter how much Silver
Child hated Rinoa, she couldn't kill her. Actually, she could, but just not in this fic. Try
reading Death Fight, I just might do that. (I am such a Bitch!)
"NO. WEDDING NICE."
"Hold on!" Selphie burst into the door, followed by Irvine, Raijin and Zell. "Your gonna
have a Wedding? BOOYAKA!!!!!!"
"So, your actually going to marry the bitch, Seifer?"
"Which one?" He looked at the Authoress.
"Aw, Seifer." Silver Child blushed. "That was so sweet! Thank you!"
Lane Navachi rolled her eyes and smacked her upside the head.
"Awww, Fujin!!! Now we can go shopping!!!!! BOOYAKA!!!!!" Selphie bounced up and
down on her toes. "I am going to by that cute, miniskirt and a hot top and you are going
to look great!! Then, we'll go out and strut our stuff on the streets, while looking for a
wedding gown for you!! This is so BOOYAKA!!" Fujin flinched. She didn't want a
wedding gown. She wanted a tux.
"Ooooooooo, Oooooooo, Ooooooooo! I wanna come too! It'll be so COOLYA! I gotta
by a wedding dress for my wife anyway!" Raijin stated.
"What wife, Raijin?" Irvine asked. (If Raijin has a wife, I must of shot my head
somewhere.)
"Oh, she's not here right now. I gotta go get one, ya know. Hey, Irvine, will you be my
wife?" He got down on one knee and pulled at Irvine's pants leg. Fujin walked up to him,
about to kick him in the head, when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and
gasped.
Selphie had done it. She had finally done it. She had grown claws instead of fingers and
horns. A pitch fork was in her used to be hands and a long, devil's tail grew out of her
butt. Her eyes were dyed red and she work the female version of Ifrit's clothing, barely
covering her chest. She had turned into the devil child...
Fujin had only seen this rage twice before, when Cid had touched Irvine's butt and said
that he had a wedge and he wanted to pick it for him and when Irvine joked and said he
was going to break up with her.
"Allow me." her voice was husky and she took a pleading Raijin by the back of his collar
and slamed the door behind her. Flames and the sound of scorching was heard and when
she came back in, she was back in the yellow dress with the red pockets, happy-go-lucky
again. It was a scary transition to watch.
"Gee, and I thought Fujin was a bitch." Zell said. Everyone nodded.
"Raijin, why do you have to get married?" asked Seifer.
"Live together, marry together, die together. That's the posse rule, right?"
No one answered.
Three Days Later
"Wait, ya know!" Raijin came in the infirmary with a dead fish. "We gotta morn over the
fish, ya know!!"
"We aren't going outside and morning over a dead fish, and that's that! It died NINE
FRIGGIN' MONTHS AGO!" Seifiepoo said.
Three minutes later, they were morning over a dead fish.
Raijin was in a black hat with a veil attachment, a sequin black dress that was too tight in
the waist/chest area and black pumps with a matching purse. His black mascara was
running and his red lipstick was horrible on his dark complexion. As usual, he looked like
a doofus. (That's it, I'm drawing a picture of that!)
"Er, okay." Seifer started. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the death of Raijin...'s
fish."
"He had a name, ya know." Raijin said into his purse.
"Which was?" Seifer asked. This was getting pathetic.
"Seifer, ya know." he said.
"SEIFER! YA KNOW!" Seifer repeated, made a face, and continued.
"Okay, so we are celebrating the death of Seifer." Seifer said. This was sad. "I would like
to say that this sucks that I'm dead, on behalf of the dead Seifer. Fujin, bring the casket."
Fujin brought out the cardboard box, which Fujin labeled R.I.P., buried the fish outside of
the Flying Garden's doors, and ran away before they got caught.
Later, Raijin went around, asking everyone if they would be his love bunny.... I mean wife.
(Yeah, like that's any better.) These were some of the results.
"Quistis, will you marry me?"
"No, I'm waiting for Squall."
"Lady from the library, will you marry me?"
"No I'm waiting for Squall." Zell runs away to go for another passion in life. The only love
of his life. A hotdog. But not just any hotdog. THE GOLDEN WEENIE OF TRUTH.
You know, the one he hangs by a string in his room, which is surrounded by pictures of
him and the weenie going to Disneyland, Disneyworld, and EuroDisney. He would strap
the weenie in and go on the Dumbo ride until they both puked (Or I puke, first,
considering that I have to take him there every year with this, long, golden weenie. Good
thing I'm a vegitarian.)
"Selphie will you-"
The devil child glared.
Then, Raijin decided that he found the perfect wife. Fujin was still in the infirmary with
Seifer and on that very day, he rushed in with the perfect wife.
Zell.
"Everyone, ZELL'S GONNA BE MY WIFE!" (-IFE, -IFe, -Ife, -ife.) it echoed.
"Yo, get the hella off me, man!!" but Zell was a runt compared to Raijin, and was forced
to marry him.
"There is no way that Zell is living in my house." Seifer said. "It bad enough we know his
name!"
So it was decided, Zell would be Raijin's new wife.
~~~~~Wedding day, eight months later~~~~~
Seifer... Fujin looked in the mirror of the Garden Lobby, fixed her bowtie and smoothed
down her tux, happy to be back in pants. Selphie had her in the mall, walking up and down
the walkway in a tight blue plaid skirt and tight, black shirt while trying to find a wedding
dress Seifer's size. They finally found one, but... er... to perfect himself as being an
EX-Knight, he... er...ah... um... you'll see.
Raijin was happy that Zell was so short because finding a dress his size was easier. Of
course we all know that Zell looks so much better as a woman, so his hair.... hee hee.
Suspence is fun.
Fujin picked up her daughter, who was in a matching outfit as Fujin. She was suppose to
be the Flower Girl and her basket of cherry bombs were well in order. Her hair was jagged
and reached her ears. Actually, it was almost like a cross between Squall and Fujin's and
little pieces of silver were peaking out in small strands. This is a simple conversation
between Fujin and Mira.
"WALKING, AISLE." Fujin started. Mira only talked in Fujin's tongue when she wanted
to. Fujin was so proud that she had learned at such a young age.
"THROW, BOMBS." Mira said, happily.
"COMPLY, NOT?" Fujin asked.
"RAGE!" Mira punched her chubby hands into the air. She did a *special* RAGE that
Fujin was so happy about.
"RAGE, WHO?"
Mira smiled. "UNCLE SQUALLY!" Fujin nodded. She put the kid down and walked to
the steps with Raijin, where Seifiepoo had to meet her and Zellypoo had to meet him.
Two minutes later, the Garden kids looked behind them on there foldable chairs and
watched Mira walk down the aisle, throwing her carefully disguised cherry bombs at the
Garden kids. MosMost ducked and so she went up to them and pulled their hair. But that still
wasn't her RAGE. We just have to wait until Squall comes.
Then came Happy Booyaka Kinneas, Selphie and Irvine's kid. HE bounced down the aisle,
being the ring bearer, waving to all of the people and his parents. Fujin felt the sudden
motion of Mira wanting to RAGE Happy, but she put a restraint on her shoulder, a
warning telling her to wait until Squall came. Happy came up to Mira and stood next to
her, talking absent-mindedly to Mira. (So much like his mother.) Mira said nothing and
wasn't even looking at him as she punched Happy off of the top of the steps. Fujin patted
her arm. Selphie and Irvine looked at the scary... no no, scary would be the
happy-go-lucky Fujin... exact version of Fujin.
Next to come was Squall and Rinoa, the worst man and the brute of dishoner. They
walked down in black and blue.
Mira smiled, knowing that she would be able to vent out her anger. Squall saw her and
groaned. THIS would HURT.
As he approached the top of the steps, Mira walked to meet him.
"ANGRY! RAGE!!!!!" and with that, Mira booted him in the nuts. He rolled down the
steps, holding his crotch. Fujin did a ^________________________________________^
and almost started crying.
(I am SO PROUD!)
Finally, Seifer and Zell came walking in the door. Zell's hair was greeced, moosed, gel and
all of those other products that are countries, animals, and food. Finally it was put into
pigtails high above his head. He also put in nerf balls as breasts.
Unfortuantly, Seifer didn't have as much hair, so they bought him a wig. The wig was a
blue beehive style that stood about three feet and earned him the name Marge, from the
Simpsons. Then, the gown was a leopard skin print, which offended Squall greatly. And to
top it all off, he had strapped Hyperion on and put on an old-fashioned metal Knight's
helmet with a white tassel and pink bunny ears. The helmet litterally sat on top of his new
hair, but Seifer was happy.
"Don't mess this up for me, Seifer." Zell whispered through smiling teeth. Seifer shrugged
and put on an overly exaggerated smile. All of the remaining people who didn't get
creamed by a cherry bomb ran away at the smile. It was just plain scary.
Seifer began to climb the steps, before falling on his face. Zell looked at him, rolled his
eyes and stated loudly.
"UNLIKE YOU SEIFER, I'VE WORN HIGH-HEELS BEFORE!!!"
Seifer got up on his feet, bitch slapped him, walked a few steps, and fell on his face. Zell
walked on his hair, leaving a black foot print and up the steps. Seifer stood up, took out
Hyperion from it's shealth and ran up, swearing that Zell was going to die, then fell on his
face again. Fujin watch, in horror, everytime he fell, before he reached the top and
shealthed Hyperion.
Cid smiled, happy that his son had made it up the steps, with out harm. (It's the hair) He
opened the case of the FFVIII games.
"Hiya!! We are gathered here today to..."
"WAIT!" Zell said. "I CAN'T DO IT!!"
A collected gasp.
"Why not, ya know?" Raijin asked.
"Because," He ripped off his clothes to reveal a red basketball uniform with the number 23
on the back. "I wanna be a basketball player!"
"Zell, your the shortest main charactor in Final Fantasy VIII. How in hell are you going to
be a basketball player?" Mira asked. Fujin beamed. (She's learning new words.)
"Easy, my short one,"
"RAGE!" busted balls.
Zell sucked in his breath, proving that he was less sensitive than Squall. Squall let his jaw drop.
"I'm not going to be a basketball player in hell! I'm going to play against MICHAEL
JORDAN!!!! OH YEAH!!!" Zell then runs away all happy and stupid until he runs into the
door, pauses, opens the door, then runs out all happy and stupid!
"You okay, Raijin?" Happy asked.
"Fine, 'cause I gotta back-up plan!" Raijin pulled something small out of his pocket.
"RAIJIN! THAT'S THE DEAD FISH!!!!!" Seifer said. "YOU CAN'T MARRY A DEAD FISH!!!"
So it was decided. He would marry the dead fish.
Cid began.
"Dearly departed and all those who farted. We are gathered here today because Seifer
threatened us to be here, but that's not the point. Anyway Fujiepie, do you take this
blue-haired, Marge-wanna-be, to be your awfully wedded husband? To have and to hold
in bed, for richer, most likely poorer, until death you say bye-bye?"
"AFFERMATIVE."
"Seifiepoo? Do you take the PMSed, bitchy-assed, one-eyed albino to be your awfully
weeds and flowers wife? er... husband? You know, I never really knew."
"RAGE!" Two kicks and he went down.
"Anyway, I say yeah. Come on, hurry up! I wanna hop on the good foot and do the bad
thang!" Seifer yelled.
Cid got up. "Okay, Raijin, do you take this rotten old decaying fish to be you stinkily
wedded wife."
"Husband and it has a name, ya know!" Seifer put his hand to his eyes and screamed.
"Well, Raijiepookie, what is it?" Cid asked.
"SEIFER! DUH! YA KNOW!" Squall almost fell backwards and off the steps. Of course,
he actually did fall off when he was 'helped' by his niece.
"But," Cid pointed to the human Seifer. "That's Seifer."
"No, that's Seifer 2." Cid scratched his head.
"No, Seifiepoo!" He pinched Seifer's cheeks. "Your Seifer, my blue-haired bunny."
"JUST MARRY THEM!" Seifer said. He didn't want to have to live with a decaying fish.
"'Kay! I do, ya know!" Raijin said, gleefully!
"And you, Mr. Other-Seifer-Which-My-Own-Son-Is-Abusing-Me-Of. Do you take this
lump of muscle to be your... wife?"
No answer.
"Mr. Fishiepoo?"
Still no answer.
"SHE SAYS YES, YA KNOW. Only I can understand her. It comes naturally when you
lived in DeadFishyLand for a full three months until Fujin finally had to go to the
bathroom."
"RAGE!" He was out like a light.
~~~~~~~~~Ten minutes later~~~~~~~~
Fujin smiled as she turned around. There was Seifer, falling into her arms in his wedding
gown. But just as he was almost in her arms, Fujin saw a SHINY PENNY! So, she bent
down and picked it up, but it was too late for Seifer.
He fell off the cliff.
"OOPS!"
"SHHHIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!"
Fujin turned to Rinoa and Squall.
"Did you get that?" Squall smiled and nodded from behind the camera.
Seifer sat at the bottom of the cliff. It was one thing when your friends tried to kill you. It
was another when they didn't succeed.
"You guys are soooooo dead!"