If Sheldon leaves Los Angeles heading East on a train traveling 57 miles-per-hour and Amy leaves New York traveling West on a train traveling 46 miles-per-hour when and where will they meet? What if Sheldon had taken a train to get to Amy in the finale, instead of an airplane? And what will they discover about their relationship on the journey?
THE SPEED DISTANCE DISPLACEMENT
Chapter 1
It turned out soap wasn't as unappetizing as his mother led him to believe for all those years. In reality, the only problem was that there wasn't enough of it.
Sheldon put his hand under the dispenser in the men's restroom, the one down the hall from his office, and squeezed the button with all his strength. All that effort resulted in was a single drop of the pink viscous liquid on his palm. He ran his hand under another stream of water and used the sudsy water to scrub his lips yet again. Since they weren't pursed together, some of the soap-laden water made its way into his mouth. He didn't recoil from the taste; rather, he welcomed it. If only the waxy, foul taste could scrub his memory clean, too.
He reached for a paper towel and dried the last of the water off his face, sticking his tongue out to scrub it. Then he braced his hands on the edge of the white sink and leaned forward, resting his forehead against the mirror.
"Hey, Cooper, what's up? Is your own floundering career making you sick?" Kripke's voice came from the doorway, and Sheldon squeezed his eyes shut. And then kept them shut once it became apparent that Kripke was using the urinal.
"Something horrible has happened," Sheldon muttered with a clenched jaw. Then he had an idea. His office was between Kripke's office and the restroom, and his coworker rarely missed the opportunity to stick his head in the door and make a snide comment on his way past. "Did you happen to notice if Dr. Nowitzki was still in my office when you went past?"
"The blonde chick?" Kripke asked. "Nah. It was empty."
Sheldon let out a long breath of relief. That was a blessing, but perhaps it would be best to stay in the men's restroom for the rest of the day, just in case. Or the rest of the week. Or until Amy returned. At the thought of her name, of her smiling face, Sheldon's stomach summersaulted and he thought he might actually get sick.
There was a flush and Kripke moved to the sink next to him. "That soap dispenser is empty," Sheldon volunteered, finally opening his eyes but not losing contact the mirror.
"Hey, what's up with you and Ramona anyway? I mean, are you getting a little something on the side while your girlfriend is away? I have to say, I didn't expect you to be such a player."
Pulling his head away with snap, Sheldon glared at Kripke as his nemesis dried his hands. "I am most certainly not having anything on the side! Amy is the human equivalent of a nutritionally-balanced one pot meal!"
"Cool. I'm so gonna tap that, then. Thanks, bro." Kripke turned to leave and Sheldon called after him, "If you're going to tap her, then I should warn you that her maple syrup is rancid!"
The silence of an empty bathroom was all that met him. Sheldon's shoulders dropped as his hands fell to his side, dejected and lost. How did he miscalculate this situation so completely? How had he missed the clues all along, clues apparently so obvious that even Penny noticed them? And what should he do now? It really wasn't practical to hide in the restroom until Amy returned. And how would she come in and see him without breaking protocol?
He didn't want to wait. In those seconds that he sat frozen with Ramona's lips touching his, terrified and disgusted and confused, all he could think about was Amy. Everything about her. How her kisses, even from that very first kiss after they'd gone dancing that she didn't even remember, had never, ever hurt like the the kiss from which he'd been unable to break away. Kissing Amy was warm and loving and comforting and safe. Loving Amy made him feel safe. Loving Amy was everything.
His fingers brushed the side of his pants, and something about it reminded him of the time he'd carried her engagement ring - for it was no one else's now and never could be - in that pocket, full of hope and desperation, only to have his heart crushed under a lamppost. How was he to know then that being kissed by someone who wasn't your true love was just as devastating as watching it unfold?
The engagement ring. It had been sitting in his office drawer, mere inches away from him, as his lips had been sullied. Now that their apartment was so small, he didn't really have a good place to hide it from Amy. And his storage unit was for discarded, unwanted goods. There was nothing about his relationship with Amy he didn't want, nothing he wanted to discard.
But what if he just had? What if the ring, and all it stood for, was sullied now, too? A wave of nausea swept over him again, causing him to almost double over.
No. No! It wasn't like that. He knew it. Penny had known it. He had been taken advantage of, used against his will. Amy would understand, she always understood. She always made everything right again. All he needed to do was exactly what he instructed her to do: step away from the situation and call her immediately. And here he was, already several steps away and his phone was in his pants pocket. He grabbed it out and held it up to make the call but stopped before he placed his thumb on the button to unlock it.
This didn't seem like the sort of thing one should say over the phone, FaceTime or not. And he didn't want to. He wanted to tell Amy in person, to throw himself at her, to declare his undying love, to prove what his only wish for them was, for their lives together. He wanted to get down on one knee, as he should have done ages ago, and ask her to be his wife.
Because if he had already been her husband, none of this would have happened. The ring on his finger would have been a symbol to Ramona, to the whole world, that he was taken. His limited edition action figure-self had been procured and prized in a private collection.
Amy was in New Jersey and to New Jersey he would go. He used his phone to call a taxi cab instead, ran back to his office, and, by the time he got to the street, one was there waiting for him.
"Where to?" asked the driver as Sheldon buckled his seatbelt.
"Union Station, please, as quick as you can."
"Got a train to catch?" the driver queried.
"I've got a life to catch before it's too late."
"The most direct route would be to take the Southwest Chief to Chicago, and then take the Lake Shore Limited to New York. From there, you can catch a commuter train to Princeton," the Amtrak clerk at the desk explained, looking at her computer screen.
"Yes, I know. I have the entire Amtrak time table memorized. All I want to know is if I can get a ticket for the 6:10 train," Sheldon explained.
"Of course, there's still several seats left in coach."
"No, not coach," Sheldon protested firmly. "I don't share bathrooms. And I need a daily shower, I can't travel fifty-nine hours without one. I can't show up at my girlfriend's door smelling like fifty-nine hours worth of stale coach-class air and expect her to take me in."
"There is actually a changing and shower room on the lower level of each of our Superliner coach cars, sir."
"I know that! " Sheldon was getting exasperated. "I've memorized the schematics, too. I probably know more about your job than your supervisor's supervisor's supervisor." He took a deep breath. "I can't share a bathroom or a shower with that many people. And the last time I used the changing/shower room in coach, the door didn't lock properly and a hobo stole my pants."'
"A hobo?" she asked with an arched brow.
"Yes, a hobo. What I need is a bedroom compartment. First class. I understand the costs associated," Sheldon tried speaking slower, just in case the clerk wasn't understanding him properly.
"Unfortunately, all the first class bedrooms are sold out for today's train. There is a still a first class roomette available -"
"Which doesn't have a private bathroom," he finished for her.
"Correct. So, if you want a private bathroom, you'll have to wait until tomorrow evening's train. There still a bedroom left on it, and I'd be happy to reserve it now for you."
"But you don't understand! I need to get to New Jersey as quickly as possible!"
"Then, sir, might I suggest you consider flying there." The agent blinked very slowly, her face blank, giving away nothing.
"I hate flying. Do you have any idea how many people share that bathroom?" He shook his head. "The average cross-country aircraft has one bathroom for every 43 passengers, whereas even a coach class car on Amtrak has a much smaller ratio of one bathroom per every 10.1 passengers."
"I wasn't aware of that."
"You should be. Amtrak should put in on their advertisements." He paused and tried a different tactic. "I'm sorry I was rude earlier. I need to get to New Jersey to see my girlfriend. I miss her and I want to surprise her."
"Well," the clerk said, typing on her keyboard, "a passenger in a bedroom is detraining tomorrow morning in Winslow, Arizona. If you'd allow the car attendant a couple of hours to clean and redress the room, I suppose we could let you move into it at that time. But, I'm sorry, tonight your only option is a roomette on this route. We could look into the Coast Starlight up to Sacramento and you could take the Zypher from there, but I'm fairly certain that would add an additional day to your journey."
Sheldon rapidly reviewed the time tables in his head and agreed with her. "Fine. I'll take the roomette for tonight as long as you guarantee that I will have a bedroom compartment for the rest of the journey."
"Yes, it will be right here on your tickets. Would you like a receipt?"
"Absolutely. In case I have to prove what I paid for."
The agent tapped a few keys again and the sound of a ticket printer was heard. She reached down for them with one hand in the same motion she reached for her stapler in the other, attaching them all inside a paper envelope emblazoned with the Amtrak logo.
"Here you go, sir. Have a wonderful journey and nice a time in New Jersey. I'm sure your girlfriend will be, um, surprised to see you." She smiled at him.
"Oh, she will be. She has no idea I'm coming. I'm not going to tell her, either." He took his tickets and walked toward the first class lounge.
Amy wrapped the white bath robe tight around her waist and went to the sofa to call Sheldon. It had become their mutually agreed upon ritual that she would make the evening call before she went to bed. She had taken to calling it their Goodnight Call, but, as Sheldon was opposed to labeling their phone calls with exact or even approximate times of day due to the time difference, that was only silently in her head.
No sooner had she settled on the sofa than her phone rang, though.
"Hello, Penny," she said as she answered it.
"Oh, good! I caught you!"
"Why wouldn't you catch me? It's almost ten. Where else would I be?"
"The time change always confuses me. Listen, Leonard told me something you need to hear."
"As much as I love a juicy piece of gossip told in confidence, I was just about to call Sheldon. Call I call you back after I talk to him?"
"That's what I'm calling about."
Amy waited for her friend to continue but there was silence on the line. "Are you there?"
"Do you remember a couple of summers ago with Sheldon got that wild idea to ride around the country on a train?"
"Er, yes." Amy's brow furrowed, and that furrow only deepened as she heard the muffled sounds of Penny and who must have been Leonard whispering in the background.
"Okay, so, um, well, he got on a train again."
"What? But he didn't text me or anything!" It all came rushing back, how shocked and betrayed she felt when she discovered Sheldon had left her without saying good-bye, and then when she discovered that Leonard and Penny knew and didn't tell her in time, either.
More muffled whispers and then, clear enough to hear, "Well, I'm telling her anyway!"
"Amy, it's not like that again!" Penny's voice came back loud and strong. "I don't even know why I brought it up. Silly me! He told Leonard that he's going to New Jersey to see you! That's good, right?"
Amy tried to ignore the tone in her best friend's voice that made her think that Penny was trying to convince herself of that. But, yes, if that was true, it seemed like a good thing. "So he came and told you guys about this? Why didn't he tell me?"
"Weeellllll, he didn't exactly come and tell us. Sheldon wasn't in his office when Leonard went to get him, so he stopped by Kripke's office and Kripke told Leonard that Sheldon was sick in the bathroom earlier -"
"He's sick and he's traveling?" Amy's heart sped up. What was going on?
"- and then Leonard realized he'd left work and he texted him, and Sheldon said he felt fine but there was something he had to do and it couldn't wait. He said he was at the station waiting to get on the train."
Amy reached for her laptop and pulled up Amtrak's website to study the most likely routes. "When was this? He hasn't said anything to me."
"Um, about an hour ago. About the time Leonard was leaving work, he was looking for Sheldon to drive him home."
"Did you go get him?"
"Leonard thought we shouldn't. He, um, said he's your problem now."
Amy frowned while scanning the website. "There's not a train straight from Los Angles to New York, but Amtrak's website recommends the most direct route as the Southwest Chief to Chicago and changing to the Lake Shore Limited there. And the next Southwest Chief leaves LA in -" she did some quick math "- fourteen minutes. I need to go, I should call him -"
"You can't!" Penny protested through the phone.
"What do you mean I can't?'
"He made Leonard promise we wouldn't tell you. He said he wanted it to be a surprise."
"But we Skype at least twice a day. How did he think I wouldn't notice? This all doesn't make any sense."
"Well, call him like normal and see what happens. Maybe he just wants to tell you himself. But don't tell him we told you. Besties before testes, right?"
"Yeah . . ." Amy said absentmindedly, staring at the suggested route map on the screen, still trying to piece together what had changed. What had unsettled her boyfriend so much that he suddenly decided to travel and keep secrets and possibly not seek treatment for an illness? She closed her eyes and swallowed away the face that floated up in her brain. Dr. Ramona Nowitski had changed things.
No. No, she chided herself. Don't be silly. Sheldon loves you. Sheldon is racing across the country to see you. To surprise you. That has to be romantic, right? Right?
"Okay, maybe you're right. Let me call him and pretend I don't know. Thank you for letting me know."
"Goodnight, sweetie. Talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course. Goodnight."
Amy hung up with Penny at the same moment a text flashed on her screen. From Sheldon.
I'm sorry, but I've come down with a case of laryngitis, so we can't talk tonight. I think I should take something and go straight to bed. I love you.
Turning over, Amy lifted her head to punch in the pillow, trying to fluff it up to support her neck the way she liked. She should have brought her own pillow, this one wasn't firm enough for her. Putting her head back down, she frowned.
Had Sheldon lied to her? She couldn't wrap her mind around the possibility that he might have. On one hand, Kripke had said that he was sick earlier in the day. But then Leonard said that Sheldon told him he wasn't. Which was it? Was he lying to her or had he lied to Leonard? And what would his reason be for lying to either one of them? And since when did Sheldon lie?
She reached up and rubbed her eyes. No. Surely Leonard had just misunderstood him. But, then, if that was true, why was he traveling sick? And, there was no denying it, if Sheldon was on a train as she slept, then he had lied to her at least via omission. While it was true that he could have laryngitis and it was true that he could be going to sleep on the train, he was hoping she would assume he was at home and was going to his own bed.
And then there was Dr. Nowitzki - no, she would not think the worst of the man she loved and trusted. He'd been very honest and open with her about Dr. Nowitzki It was highly unlikely she had anything to do with this.
Right?
After rolling on her back, Amy sighed and sat up. I love you, his text had said. That, at least, was true. She reached for her glasses and grimaced at the time displayed on the alarm clock. If she wasn't going to sleep, she should try to be productive. She got out of bed, put on her robe and slippers, and moved to the sofa again, opening her laptop. Amtrak's website was still on her screen, as she'd never closed the tab after talking to Penny earlier.
She studied the line on the screen, an uneven but smooth red streak across the nation. The path that Sheldon was taking. Amtrak estimated the entire journey would take fifty-nine hours plus the layover in Chicago between trains. Approximately three days before she would see him or perhaps even hear from him if he wasn't going to Skype because of his (possibility fictitious?) case of laryngitis. Three days before she'd get to the bottom of this whole situation, before she could question him in detail.
Clicking on the eastern end of the route line, Amy looked to see where exactly he would end up, and the Lake Shore Limited schedule and details filled her screen. Instantly she knew exactly what she was going to do.
It was only underground that one could see the former glory of Penn Station, the marble walls and the gold sconces. It was hot and too crowded, although there were signs up everywhere about the upcoming infrastructure renewal by Amtrak.
Pulling the suitcase Sheldon had bought her behind her, because it was the only one she had, Amy scanned for the correct track. There was a short line but it moved quickly. She gripped the handle of the luggage tighter and swallowed hard. The concerns she'd had on the commuter train that morning returned. She could still turn around, head back to Princeton, call Penny back and tell her she'd changed her mind, and be there when Sheldon arrived. She could act shocked to see him, and he'd be none the wiser.
But she couldn't wait. Something had happened involving Sheldon, something had sent him running away again, and she needed to know what. She stepped into the line. When it was her turn the Amtrak employee smiled at her and looked down at her ticket.
"Seat 12A in coach. Fifth car down." He waved with his arm toward the train. "And welcome aboard the Lake Shore Limited!"
To be continued . . .
All aboard! This one was not easy.
Regardless, thank you in advance for your reviews!