Alright, Showtime. My heart is beating so fast. I'm nervous as hell. This is it, I'm finally going to share my story with my fans. I'm actually kind of excited. I just want to get it off my chest and be honest with them. Tell them I'm not as cheerful in real life as I am when I'm making videos. Tell them I used to be broken, but I got myself back together after everything that's happened. But I'll never be the girl I used to be. It's too late for that. I'll never heal completely.
"Hey guys, it's Lynn. Welcome back to my channel. Today I'm going to tell you a story I haven't been able to tell for a long time. Just to be clear: Everything's fine now, it's just really hard to talk about because so many things happened. I guess I'll start at the beginning. I was 15 and a really happy girl. I didn't have anything to worry about. I had good grades at school and loved singing, but the thing I loved the most was my friend, Castiel. He was my everything, and always protected me. We went to school together and he also loved music. He played the guitar and I was the singer."
I cough. This is harder than I thought it would be. Going back to the time I was truly happy makes my stomach turn. It was so easy back then, I can't even believe it was me who was so happy. I want to go back to that time, but there's also a part of me that doesn't want to go back. Because just a few months after my 15th birthday, Castiel fell in love with a girl he shouldn't have met in the first place.
"When we were little, we always wanted to start a band together. It was our dream, the thing we wanted to the most. So, 2 weeks before my 15th birthday, we held auditions to look for other people to join the band. We couldn't have a band with only two people, you see. That's when me met Thomas, Casey and Sarah. In just a few weeks, we became closer than we ever could have imagined. It was just a hobby though. We didn't want to be famous. Okay, maybe we fantasized about being rich, famous and driving beautiful cars, but everyone does that at some point, right?"
"Anyways, band practice was at Tuesday at 6:00 after school. No one missed it. Ever. That was just a rule we made before we started the band. We even wrote it down so no one would forget it."
"My birthday passed and my mom kept saying things like 'I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday' and stuff. I think she finally noticed how big I was getting and enjoyed her time with me when it was still possible. My dad… I didn't really know what was wrong with him at the time. He was so distant and cold towards me, my mom and my sister Jasmine. Now I know the reason, but I'll get back on that later."
"But then everything changed. 2 months after I turned 15, Castiel met a girl and fell in love with her. Now I'm not the type to judge his choice in girls, but I knew something was wrong with her. It was just a feeling that wouldn't go away. Also, she didn't really like me. I knew that much. She kept glaring at me when I was talking to Cas, or 'accidently' push me when she walked past me in the hallways of the school. I will never forget the day he introduced me to her. He said her name and looked so proud when he told us she was his girlfriend. I can still see his face."
I stopped for a moment and looked down, not looking directly into the camera anymore. I smiled. This is going to be a very long story to tell.
"She followed him everywhere. Wherever he was, she was with him. That's why it took me so long to tell him something was off about her. I knew from the start that it was a bad idea and that he should figure it out on his own, but I just couldn't bear to see him like this. So, I told him. And he got mad. No, not just mad... He was furious. Telling me to mind my own business and that I was just jealous. I really wasn't. Okay, maybe I was, but that's not why I did it! I did it to protect him and I wanted to help him, I-"
I take a deep breath. I need to stop getting mad about things that are in the past. It's over now, and we were both young and naïve. Relax, Lynn. It'll be okay.
"Sorry. After our talk, Castiel left my house. He probably went to *her* house. Oh, I just realized I haven't even told you guys her name. Wait… I asked everyone's permission to use their names, but I didn't ask her... I should have thought about that before... Well, let's give her the name Debbie. That sounds okay. So, he probably went to Debbie's house after that."
"We didn't speak to each other for months. I was so sad at the time, and all because of Debbie. So, when I heard she was moving, I wanted to know more about it. Apparently, her parents wanted her to get out of the city and move to a small town called Amoris. Honestly, I couldn't care less where she was going but I was happy she was moving away from here. That was, until I heard Castiel was coming with her. Yes, he was going to Amoris with her, because his parents had some 'business' there. I couldn't believe my ears. He was going away, and he didn't even tell me? His best friend, the one who always supported him, no matter what? I was devastated. I still hadn't spoken to him at the time. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and couldn't even sing. I didn't want to because it reminded me of him."
"After a few days, he finally came to see me. I thought he wanted to tell me he was sorry, that he was wrong. But it was not the case at all. He came to say goodbye, because he would leave the next day. At that point, I just couldn't take it anymore. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I tried to close the door, but he stopped me and pulled me into a hug. I cried my eyes out that day. After a few minutes, I stopped crying and he slowly walked away. You know the slow-motion scenes in movies, when the true love of the main character is walking away after a fight? It was just like that, only in the real world Yes, everything was real and he was really walking away from me. He was leaving me behind. I knew I couldn't stop him. So, I closed the door and went upstairs to cry some more. My parents knew what was going on, so the left me there to cry. And that's exactly what I did, for hours and hours."
"He never contacted me again."
A/N: Hi there… Don't be mad! I never finished this story… Not because I didn't like the story, but I didn't know what to write anymore. I was going through some things and writing really helped me. But after a while, things got better and I didn't want to be reminded of that time. So, I stopped writing. I'm reading the chapters I wrote and honestly? I can't believe it's really me that wrote that shit. It's… Kinda bad… So, I decided to write it again, but better. At least, in my opinion. There are so many things I want to do and I have so many ideas for this story again! I guess you must have noticed Lynn is a YouTuber now. It's easier for me to tell the story that way, and I think it's fun! I have more experience with writing now, so I guess I know what I'm doing. My English got better and I know how to express myself. I never thought I would continue this story, but hey, things happen, right? Also, I'm not gonna be as enthusiastic as I was before. I will update weekly when I have the time, and won't make promises I can't keep anymore.
As for the story, I will follow the original storyline until the point where I stopped and take a different direction after that. I still have my original ideas, but I don't think they're as good as I thought they were a year ago. It'll be a surprise for you guys, but also for me, because I don't have a clue of what I'm going to do next. I don't know what will happen after I have followed the original storyline until I stopped writing. So, we'll see!
Also, let me reintroduce myself, for the ones who don't know me. (Probably many people oops) I'm Isa, I'm 14 years old but I'm turning 15 on the 7th of August and I'm from the Netherlands, so English isn't my first language. Thank you for reading this story and the next chapter will be published soon!