A/N: Okay, this is a South Park fic (duh) and harpoons Star Wars royally.
Don't get me wrong, I love Star Wars, but if you are offended by a Star
Wars spoof or offensive language, then you probably shouldn't read this.
Read on if you want thought, but you have been warned… (dun, dun, dun!!!)
By the way, I do not own South Park or so forth and blah, blah, blah…you're
smart, you get it. This is not completed by the way and there is more to
come so please, uh….well, you get the idea\. So, please Read and Review,
pleeeaasse….
South Park: Revenge of the Sith
Prologue: A not-so-long time ago, in a state not-too-far-from-here, an evil Sith hatched an evil plan to eliminate South Park for an industrial football stadium…for only the Chicago Bears!!!! The horror! Using his Dark Sith powers, he quested toward South Park, our eight-year-old heroes unaware of the oncoming danger.
Darth Komodo whizzed through the cool Colorado air, the engine of his Land- Speeder roaring through the mountain atmosphere. Darth Komodo was Darth Maul's twin brethren, and had also gotten in a fight with a tattoo manager and lost, leaving the marks of red and black etched on his horned face.
"Ha, ha, ha!" An evil laugh erupted from deep in his throat. "Soon, the Chicago Bears will have their own stadium, and I, Darth Komodo will rule South Park, and only I will sell the jumbo-sized hot dogs! Mwa, ha, ha!" His deep voice laughed as he zoomed through the Rocky Mountains, unaware of the turtle crossing into his path! "Ha, ha, ha!" He yelled as his bike advanced on the unexpecting turtle!
Suddenly….WHAM! The turtle was flung through the air, landing on a large boulder, a hawk swooping down and grabbing it within seconds in its talons. The Land-Speeder flipped over and landed harshly on the rocky terrain as Darth Komodo was flung from his seat and into the air. BOOM! An explosion rang through the night air as the Land-Speeder connected with boulders, illuminating the dark sky. "Aw, God Dammit!" Darth Komodo yelled, getting up to his feet from his spot on the ground. "Not again! Screw you all turtles!!" He screamed angrily and some nearby turtles heard the order and began to do just that. Suddenly, the same hawk swooped down and grabbed one in its talons before swooping up to its nest.
Darth Komodo hitched his knapsack over his shoulder and stuck out his thumb as he began to walk down the highway to South Park
(scene to classroom)
"Okay, children- settle down now." Mr. Garrison yelled through the noisy classroom as the ruckus continued without stop.
"Dude, knock-it-off, Fat-Ass!" Kyle yelled to Cartman, who pompously ignored the order and smacked him in the head again, chuckling thickly. "Dude, you fagot!"
"Really, I mean quiet!" Mr. Garrison yelled again, attempting to settle the hubbub once more.
The commotion continued, Stan and Kenny laughing hysterically as Timmy began to scarf down paste, glue dribbling out of his mouth.
"Blah, bl, bl, bul..Timmaay!" He yelled, paste flinging from his mouth and splattering on Butters.
"Ee-ew, that's gross." Butters mumbled, wiping the glue from his face.
"Shut your pie holes you filthy little bastards!!!" Mr. Garrison suddenly screamed above everyone, the uproar stopping immediately. "Now, I want everyone to seat in their seats and-" Mr. Garrison yelled, but before he could utter another word, the unmistakable ring of the bell echoed through the halls. "Oh, God Dammit!" Mr. Garrison yelled, clutching his head.
"Heh, heh- sweet." Cartman chuckled.
(lunchroom)
Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny walked into the cafeteria, stopping to receive their school lunches.
"Hello, Chef." Stan said, looking up at Chef as he spooned them out some food.
"Why, hello children. How are you today?" Chef greeted them, handing all four of them lunch trays.
"Pretty crappy, man." Cartman complained.
"Hey, shut up, Fat-Ass!" Kyle scolded Cartman as they walked off to sit down and eat.
"You shut up, Gay-wad!" He shot back as they found their seats.
Kenny looked down to see what was on his plate. A jumbo-sized hot dog, how strange…Chef usually doesn't serve processed meat.
"Hey, dudes- check it out!" Cartman told his friends.
"What is it, Fat-Ass?" Stan and Kyle asked simultaneously as Cartman slid his hot dog out of its bun.
"Yhhm, fft if mi fft-fss?" Kenny asked, slopping up a spoonful of applesauce.
"Hey, guys. What does this look like?" Cartman asked, placing the hot dog high up between his two flabby legs and wobbling the dog.
"Oh, god! You Gay-Wad!" Kyle yelled, punching him it the head when he realized what it meant.
"AY!" Cartman yelled as he dropped the hot dog to the floor, mice instantly swarming over it.
"Dude, you Frickin' Fagot!" Stan yelled kicking him in the nuts from underneath the table.
"AY, YOU BASTARD!" Cartman yelled in pain.
"Ohhmf, ffo ffckn bfftch!" Kenny yelled, attempting to punch Cartman but toppling over in his seat and onto the floor, Cartman beginning to laugh hysterically at this.
Mice instantly began to swarm over Kenny as he yelled thickly for help within his orange coat. Within seconds, his head was ripped from his body and the mice skittered away with both.
"OH, MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!" Kyle shouted angrily, pointing at the mice.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Stan ended.
One of the remaining mice stood up on his hind legs and gave them the finger before fleeing off.
"So," Cartman ended, thinking nothing of Kenny's death or the pool of blood on the floor. "Anyone want their hot dog?"
"Nah, here you go, Fat-Ass." Stan said, handing his over to him.
"Ahh, sweet." Cartman chuckled before putting it in his crotch again and getting punched onto the floor by Kyle and out of sight.
"Ah, God! NO, no! Get off me you fuckin' rodents! No, No! God dammit!" Cartman yelled from the floor as mice began to horde and Stand and Kyle laughed from up in their seats. "YOU BASTARDS!!!!!"
A/N: Just pretend it's commercials right now or something while I type up more. : ) Later all.
South Park: Revenge of the Sith
Prologue: A not-so-long time ago, in a state not-too-far-from-here, an evil Sith hatched an evil plan to eliminate South Park for an industrial football stadium…for only the Chicago Bears!!!! The horror! Using his Dark Sith powers, he quested toward South Park, our eight-year-old heroes unaware of the oncoming danger.
Darth Komodo whizzed through the cool Colorado air, the engine of his Land- Speeder roaring through the mountain atmosphere. Darth Komodo was Darth Maul's twin brethren, and had also gotten in a fight with a tattoo manager and lost, leaving the marks of red and black etched on his horned face.
"Ha, ha, ha!" An evil laugh erupted from deep in his throat. "Soon, the Chicago Bears will have their own stadium, and I, Darth Komodo will rule South Park, and only I will sell the jumbo-sized hot dogs! Mwa, ha, ha!" His deep voice laughed as he zoomed through the Rocky Mountains, unaware of the turtle crossing into his path! "Ha, ha, ha!" He yelled as his bike advanced on the unexpecting turtle!
Suddenly….WHAM! The turtle was flung through the air, landing on a large boulder, a hawk swooping down and grabbing it within seconds in its talons. The Land-Speeder flipped over and landed harshly on the rocky terrain as Darth Komodo was flung from his seat and into the air. BOOM! An explosion rang through the night air as the Land-Speeder connected with boulders, illuminating the dark sky. "Aw, God Dammit!" Darth Komodo yelled, getting up to his feet from his spot on the ground. "Not again! Screw you all turtles!!" He screamed angrily and some nearby turtles heard the order and began to do just that. Suddenly, the same hawk swooped down and grabbed one in its talons before swooping up to its nest.
Darth Komodo hitched his knapsack over his shoulder and stuck out his thumb as he began to walk down the highway to South Park
(scene to classroom)
"Okay, children- settle down now." Mr. Garrison yelled through the noisy classroom as the ruckus continued without stop.
"Dude, knock-it-off, Fat-Ass!" Kyle yelled to Cartman, who pompously ignored the order and smacked him in the head again, chuckling thickly. "Dude, you fagot!"
"Really, I mean quiet!" Mr. Garrison yelled again, attempting to settle the hubbub once more.
The commotion continued, Stan and Kenny laughing hysterically as Timmy began to scarf down paste, glue dribbling out of his mouth.
"Blah, bl, bl, bul..Timmaay!" He yelled, paste flinging from his mouth and splattering on Butters.
"Ee-ew, that's gross." Butters mumbled, wiping the glue from his face.
"Shut your pie holes you filthy little bastards!!!" Mr. Garrison suddenly screamed above everyone, the uproar stopping immediately. "Now, I want everyone to seat in their seats and-" Mr. Garrison yelled, but before he could utter another word, the unmistakable ring of the bell echoed through the halls. "Oh, God Dammit!" Mr. Garrison yelled, clutching his head.
"Heh, heh- sweet." Cartman chuckled.
(lunchroom)
Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny walked into the cafeteria, stopping to receive their school lunches.
"Hello, Chef." Stan said, looking up at Chef as he spooned them out some food.
"Why, hello children. How are you today?" Chef greeted them, handing all four of them lunch trays.
"Pretty crappy, man." Cartman complained.
"Hey, shut up, Fat-Ass!" Kyle scolded Cartman as they walked off to sit down and eat.
"You shut up, Gay-wad!" He shot back as they found their seats.
Kenny looked down to see what was on his plate. A jumbo-sized hot dog, how strange…Chef usually doesn't serve processed meat.
"Hey, dudes- check it out!" Cartman told his friends.
"What is it, Fat-Ass?" Stan and Kyle asked simultaneously as Cartman slid his hot dog out of its bun.
"Yhhm, fft if mi fft-fss?" Kenny asked, slopping up a spoonful of applesauce.
"Hey, guys. What does this look like?" Cartman asked, placing the hot dog high up between his two flabby legs and wobbling the dog.
"Oh, god! You Gay-Wad!" Kyle yelled, punching him it the head when he realized what it meant.
"AY!" Cartman yelled as he dropped the hot dog to the floor, mice instantly swarming over it.
"Dude, you Frickin' Fagot!" Stan yelled kicking him in the nuts from underneath the table.
"AY, YOU BASTARD!" Cartman yelled in pain.
"Ohhmf, ffo ffckn bfftch!" Kenny yelled, attempting to punch Cartman but toppling over in his seat and onto the floor, Cartman beginning to laugh hysterically at this.
Mice instantly began to swarm over Kenny as he yelled thickly for help within his orange coat. Within seconds, his head was ripped from his body and the mice skittered away with both.
"OH, MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!" Kyle shouted angrily, pointing at the mice.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Stan ended.
One of the remaining mice stood up on his hind legs and gave them the finger before fleeing off.
"So," Cartman ended, thinking nothing of Kenny's death or the pool of blood on the floor. "Anyone want their hot dog?"
"Nah, here you go, Fat-Ass." Stan said, handing his over to him.
"Ahh, sweet." Cartman chuckled before putting it in his crotch again and getting punched onto the floor by Kyle and out of sight.
"Ah, God! NO, no! Get off me you fuckin' rodents! No, No! God dammit!" Cartman yelled from the floor as mice began to horde and Stand and Kyle laughed from up in their seats. "YOU BASTARDS!!!!!"
A/N: Just pretend it's commercials right now or something while I type up more. : ) Later all.