This story is set three years after the Thunderbirds Movie, and is designed to segue into the original 60's TV series…

I do not own Thunderbirds or any of their pilots.

THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!

Jeff Tracy leaned back in his control chair with a slight sigh. He would never admit to his five sons that he was just a little bit envious of them these days. He missed the times before young Alan had joined the team, when he had gone off on each mission with them, leading the team in person. The adventure with The Hood however, had taught everyone a valuable lesson; that there must be a member of the team on station at all times to deal with anything unforeseen that might arise. That person was the team leader: Jeff himself.

Before, Brains had always presided at the control chair, coordinating efforts, but Brains was needed elsewhere. His genius had even been invaluable on assignment on occasion. If it was possible, with Alan on the team things were going even better than before. The only drawback of course, was that Jeff was consigned to the waiting game, in the control room.

Jeff thought about young Alan. The boy had been enthusiastic about the International Rescue organization right from the start, and had soaked up every bit of information and learning he was exposed to, every moment he could. Jeff shook his head ruefully at the memory. He had always been proud of the boy's intelligence, but had mistaken his enthusiasm for childish patter and meddling. He had continually underestimated him, and had mishandled him woefully.

Jeff recalled how Alan had frequently attempted to use his own initiative in trying to make his father understand, but each time Jeff had misunderstood, and condemned and punished his actions as irresponsible meddling. He had simply assumed that Alan was as ignorant as the others had been at his age, and treated him as a boy.

Many young men would have eventually given up and turned their enthusiasms and energies to less worthy pursuits. Alan however had staunchly refused to give up on his father, and had simply kept on trying to make himself noticed. Jeff couldn't help but wonder how patient he himself would have been in Alan's place?

That business with The Hood was three years ago now, and Alan was pretty much a full time member of the team. Right from the beginning, his grasp of tactics and methods had been highly advanced, his ability to observe and spot possibilities matched his own, and Alan of course was still learning. His interests if anything seemed to follow his own much more than any of the others, and swung more toward Thunderbirds Three and Five. The grin of delight that had spread across the boy's face the first time he blasted off in Thunderbird Three for training with John in the Thunderbird Five Jeff could not forget.

Since that time, Alan had learned so much that he was now independently taking his turn in the satellite along with his four elder brothers. He had never ever given his father any cause to regret his action three years ago in making him officially a Thunderbird.

These days, between assignments, relaxing on Tracy Island, Alan became quickly restless. Tintin was away at college, and Fermat was attending the university his father had attended; so Alan was without his two companions.

It had been interesting to note, that instead of getting himself into mischief as he had done before when he was bored or frustrated with ignorant fathers, he had gravitated toward Brains, and in the absence of young Fermat, Alan and Brains had established a good rapport. Alan frequently assisted Brains in his work, and as a result, had quite naturally picked up a good deal of useful knowledge from him. Alan had become very technologically adept, and could turn his hand to such things as fixing malfunctioning communicators or satellite relays. The sort of tasks that had always been Fermat's forte, Alan had become very skilled himself. In short, Alan had made himself an invaluable member of International Rescue. He brought to the organization enthusiasm and ingenuity that made success even more certain.

More than that, his brothers had long ceased thinking of him as `just a kid'. Scott, John, Virgil and Gordon had learned to trust Alan's instincts and acuity as much as they trusted their own. He was greatly missed by the team when his turn came around to take satellite watch on Thunderbird Five.

The communications relay bleeped and Virgil's face appeared on the monitor. His face held a worried look which made Jeff immediately nervous.

"Dad, mission successfully completed, but there has been an accident. You'll need to get the sick bay ready. Our ETA six minutes."

"Will do Virgil. What happened?"

Virgil leaned forward and flipped a switch. Immediately Jeff could see Gordon's worried face on the rear monitor screen, and beside him was Alan, strapped to a stretcher, his eyes closed, face white.

"The primary line snapped, dad, and with the cable car already suspended below Thunderbird Two there was nothing we could do. Those people would have died for sure if the second line had snapped, so Alan had to attach the secondary primer."

Jeff nodded. Standard procedure in the event of a broken line, so what had gone wrong?

"What happened son?"

"The high wind turbulence was blowing the line way off course. The weight on the second line was way beyond tolerance, so we had to make it fast. We figured the only way to secure it quickly enough was to send it down with the magnetic clamp."

"I see...and Alan had to go down with the clamp to make sure the line was properly secured?"

"Yes sir. He fixed the line and saved those people, and we were just winching him back up into the ship when Thunderbird Two was struck by lightning. Thunderbird two is insulated of course, but the bolt shot straight down the winch line. Alan received the full blast of the shockwave, and then was thrown to the ground when the lightning burned out his line. He must have fallen more than sixty feet!"

Jeff closed his eyes briefly, and prepared to receive the two ships back home.

Later that evening, John called from the space station.

"Thunderbird Five to base, come in."

"Base. Hello John. Anything we need to know about?"

"Nothing dad, All quiet so far. I'm worrying myself silly up here about Alan and no one has called to tell me how he is."

"God, I'm sorry John. I should have called you right away. You heard what happened?"

John nodded.

"I was on the line to Scott when it happened, and he went all white on me. How is Alan?"

"Miraculously still alive and in one piece." He replied, quickly, and saw John heave a big sigh of relief. "He fell a long way, but landed in deep snowdrifts that cushioned his landing. He's damned lucky the lightning bolt didn't kill him, but he's still unconscious. He has burns on his hands, arms and feet where he was touching the winch line. They're pretty bad, but they'll heal quickly enough with our treatment."

"But he's still unconscious? What's the prognosis dad? He will recover won't he? You know the media have stifled the story at your request, but the rumours are circulating that a member of International Rescue was seriously hurt during a rescue and is now either dead or dying. I've been going mad up here having to listen to it all."

"Alan is as tenacious as a bulldog, John. He'll be fine."

"If he's been unconscious for nine hours already..."

"John, listen to me. Alan will be fine. Believe me."

It took a little while to reassure him, but eventually John signed off, leaving his father to worry in his stead.

Alan's accident had affected everyone even more profoundly than he had expected. The five brothers were very close, as they had always been. They would have been upset at any kind of accident occurring...but somehow this was different. The fact that Alan had risked and almost lost his life in the pursuit of saving others as a member of International Rescue had made the act even nobler somehow; the more because thoughts of personal risks had not entered Alan's head. The job had to be done and he was the nearest, and that was that. His brothers found their feet making their way to his bedside every few minutes in the hope that he might have woken up.

The next day the team spent much of the morning on rescue missions, forced to do without Alan's assistance and his cheerful good humour, and they missed him greatly. Finally, at two in the afternoon local time, Jeff called John in the satellite.

"Thunderbird Five from base, come in."

"Thunderbird Five. Hello dad."

"Have you been keeping tabs on the boys?"

"Sure have dad. I was just about to let you know they are on their way back to base. How's Alan? It's been over twenty-four hours."

"Alan's just come round. I thought I'd let you pass the word to the others. He has no memory of yesterday, but aside from that he's going to be just fine. He just needs a couple of weeks to recuperate, that's all. I wanted you to know right away."

"Thanks dad, I appreciate that. I want to talk to him as soon as he feels up to it, is that all right?"

"I'll tell him John. Bye for now. Base out."

Alan Tracy opened his eyes and closed them again just as quickly. Who on earth was shining that bright light in his eyes? After a moment or two he tried again and once again found the light was too bright. Then he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and soft words in his ear.

"How about now?"

For the third time he ventured to open his eyes and this time the brightness was slightly muted. Some thoughtful person and turned all the lights off and closed the curtains. He knew this room was very dim with the lights off and curtains closed. His eyes must be oversensitive to the light. He turned his throbbing head and saw his father and Brains standing beside his bed.

"Hello son, how do you feel?"

"Dad. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. What happened?"

"You had an accident yesterday."

"An accident? I don't remember a thing about that."

"You were struck by lightning, and had a very long fall. Your eyes are light-sensitive because the pupils are dilated, but that won't last for long."

"How long have I been out?"

"Twenty-six hours Alan. We were quite worried about you for a while, but you'll be fine now. You must just take things very easy for a couple of weeks. No excitement or rushing around. Stay here on the island at all times where we can keep our eye on you for a bit."

"It was on a rescue was it? Were we successful?"

"Yes, you were successful."

"Good."

"You take it easy and rest now Alan. I'm going to tell the boys that you are all right. They've been worrying about you, you know."

His father disappeared, and Alan turned to Brains.

"I was supposed to relieve John tomorrow wasn't I?"

Brains nodded.

"W.w. Alan, you can't go now. I.I.I think Scott is going to take your turn, and you can take your turn later when you are b.b.b. ."

"I let the team down. I promised I never would!"

Alan turned over and closed his eyes. Brains frowned, opened his mouth to say something, thought the better of it and closed it again. Alan was a hard person to persuade once he had made his mind up about something. Better talk to Mr. Tracy.

Scott, Virgil and Gordon heard the news via John in the satellite, and the grinned at one another in relief.

"The kid's really gonna be okay John? That's fantastic news." Came Scott's voice from Thunderbird One. In Thunderbird Two, Virgil and Gordon exchanged delighted glances.

"He said what!?" Jeff Tracy exclaimed in surprise. "He thinks he let us down? Did you tell him he was wrong?"

"Er, n.n.n. Mr. Tracy, I thought he would be more likely to believe it, er, c.c. from you."

"But why would he assume he failed just because he got injured?"

Brains did not reply, but his innocent glance out of the window told his employer more than he realized.

"Brains, what is it?"

"Oh, i.i. 's not really my place to say Mr. Tracy."

"Brains, whatever it is you have to say to me, out with it!"

Brains blushed in embarrassment. This was really not his field after all, and who was he to tell Mr. Tracy how to treat his own son? But another glance at him told Brains exactly how serious he was. Jeff Tracy really did not understand.

"Well...er...Mr. Tracy, i.i. 's just that Alan has always looked up to and V. and and er...er...Gordon, a. to you especially. He loves being a Thunderbird and being able to s.s. people, and he's afraid that...that..."

Brains faltered and stopped. Jeff stared at him.

"What is it he's afraid of Brains?"

"He's afraid that he will n.n. be able to match up to you a.a. his brothers. He thinks he will never be quite g.g.g. enough for you."

Jeff Tracy was stunned. Of course Alan was good enough for the Thunderbirds. Why ever should he think he wasn't? Was Alan suffering from a lack of self-confidence then? If he was, that could cause problems in the future. He nodded his thanks to Brains and watched him leave the room. Finally, he got up and went to his bedroom. There, in his own inner sanctum, he was able to use his private line, scrambled for privacy. He put a call through direct to Lady Penelope's private line. In a flash he saw her beautiful face smiling at him beneath a pretty pink lace bonnet.

"Hello Jeff! You timed that well. I heard about Alan's accident. We were just coming out there to see you all. Is that all right? Since you're using this line, I assume you don't have an assignment for us?"

Jeff smiled in relief.

"No Penny, I wanted to talk to you about something. If you're heading out to the island, I'll see you when you get here."

"On my way Jeff."

When Lady Penelope arrived, she insisted on visiting Alan first of all. She went in and found him sleeping uneasily. She mopped his brow with her scented handkerchief, and the scent seemed to bring him round very quickly. He seemed relieved to see her.

"Lady P! It's good to see you."

"Hello Alan darling. How are you feeling?"

"Beat. Can you tell me what I'm doing here?"

She looked surprised at the question.

"You mean you don't know?"

"Every time I wake up I find dad or one of my brothers in here watching me as though they are afraid I'll try and escape; and when I ask them what happened, all they tell me is to relax and not to worry for now. I had an accident, but I'll be fine. What did I do wrong Penelope? Why won't anyone tell me anything?"

For the first time, Alan saw a look of anger lower Penelope's lovely eyes a fraction, but the expression lasted barely a moment, then she smiled.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know much myself. I know that you were on a rescue, you were hit by lightning and fell over sixty feet into a snowdrift, but I don't know any of the details. What I do know is that you were treated for the huge electric shock, but no one was sure whether you would pull through or not. You were unconscious for so long, we were all worried we were going to lose you. It is important that you take things easy Alan after such a lucky escape, so that is probably why they were being so solicitous. Now, you be good and don't fret. I need to have a word with your father. I'll see you soon."

She left the room and sought out Jeff Tracy. She found him alone in the main control room. Of course, the official settings had been deactivated, and the control room equipment were all hidden beneath the changeable floor. The room was furnished simply, as a lounge with a large office type desk facing a wall covered in photographs of the Tracy boys relaxing. Jeff was sipping a cup of tea and staring out across the deep azure sea. He turned as she came in.

"You wanted to discuss something with me, Jeff?"

He nodded.

"There are times, like now, when I really wish their mother were still here..."

"You need a female perspective on things, is that it?"

"That's it. Penny, I'm worried about Alan."

She shook her head.

"Alan is an extremely competent and may I say highly intelligent young man Jeff. In some ways he is leagues ahead of his brothers. He's suffered a nasty accident, but he'll come through that quickly enough, so why be so worried?"

Jeff recounted to Penny his conversation with Brains, and how it had unsettled him. He was surprised to observe Penelope's uncharacteristic irritation rising as he spoke, and once he had finished, she exploded, her anger muted by politeness to little more than a `pop!'

"Jeff, have you seen Alan in action recently? No? Well ask Scott, or John or Virgil or Gordon if they think that Alan is suffering from lack of confidence and see what they say. Whatever Alan may lack Jeff, he certainly has never been lacking in self-confidence. You can rest easy on that."

"So why...?"

"Listen Jeff. You really don't know your own son as well as you think. Alan has been a Thunderbird at heart ever since he was ten years old. He knows every inch of those machines of yours easily as well as you do. He has done since he was little. I remember seeing the look of hunger and pain on his face every time the rest of you went up on a rescue mission without him. Then you sent him away to boarding school and deprived him even of the joy of seeing you leave and return! Every time he watched one of your rescues on the television Jeff, he knew exactly what moves you were going to make long before you made them.

Then, three years ago I brought Alan and Fermat home for their spring break. Alan knew he was as ready to become one of you as he would ever be, and he was desperate for you to realize it. Then, when he made a simple, and quite logical suggestion, you pooh-poohed the idea without even pausing for thought. Alan took that as proof that in your eyes he was still no more than a child, and never would be. Since you made no effort to explain any of your reasons to him, in his eyes, he felt rejected by you. He felt he was just in your way. My heart bled for him Jeff. Later on, while you were chewing him out for fooling around in the launching bay, he tried to tell you something important he had discovered and you refused to listen to him. If you had listened, all that business with The Hood might have been avoided."

"What are you getting at, Penny?"

"What I'm getting at is the fact that all his life Alan has looked up to you Jeff. He worships the ground you walk on, and he has spent his entire life doing his very best to live up to your expectations, and he still feels that he is not quite good enough. You have squashed him down and pushed him away when all he wanted was for you to notice him. He was happy when you made him a Thunderbird, because it meant that you finally had noticed him, but in order for you to approve of him, he feels he has to keep on and on proving himself. He feels that as you were always so hard on him, if he ever fails, even once, you'll kick him out of the Thunderbirds, and that would break his heart. He simply wants you to be proud of him Jeff. That's all this is about. He would break his back to earn your approval."

"Earn my approval? Penny, I made him a Thunderbird when he was fourteen! He made me see then how special he was! Since then he has proven himself, many times over! He has saved hundreds of lives on his own! I couldn't possibly kick him out of the organization! How could he possibly ever think I wasn't proud of him?"

Penelope touched Jeff's shoulder with her hand and looked into his eyes.

"Jeff, have you ever told him?"

Stunned, Jeff thought about it. He had told his four elder sons many times how proud he was of them, and he had told all five of them whilst together that he was proud of his team. But had he ever told Alan himself? Ashamedly, he realized the truth. No, he never had.

It was the end of the week before Alan was allowed out of bed, and he was surprised himself at how weak his body felt. It had taken some days before his eyes had returned to normal and he could stand normal daylight. Finally though, he sat on a rock at the south end of the island, letting the water trickle over his toes, enjoying the warm breeze on his face. He heard a slight sound and turned. It was his father.

"Dad."

"Hi Alan. Mind if I join you for a minute?"

"Go ahead."

"Scott's leaving soon in Thunderbird Three to relieve John. He'll come by in a minute to say goodbye."

"Should have been me dad, and now John has had his watch extended an extra week! I'm sorry I let you down so badly! I promise to make it up to John and Scott too!"

Jeff Tracy shook his head patiently.

"Alan, what makes you think you let anyone down?"

"Well I..."

"Listen son. The accident happened because Thunderbird two was struck by lightning, correct?"

"So Virgil says."

"And are you to blame for the lightning? Accidents happen Alan. You saved those people, YOU did, and you only got hit by the lightning because you had been forced to leave the ship to save those people. It wasn't your fault. I know you don't remember it, but it's true. You let no one down. You were a hero Alan. I'm more proud of you than I can say. I've always been proud of you."

Alan turned to him with a look in his eyes Jeff had never seen before. A look comprising of surprise, joy, hope and something else, even more subtle. When Alan spoke, it was in barely a whisper.

"You've never said so."

Jeff took his son in his arms and the two hugged, father and son, in a way they had never been able to do before. When they finally let go, Alan looked up at his father.

"But dad, if you have been proud of me, why were you always so hard on me? You always treated me like a little kid, when I knew every circuit on those ships as well as any of you. Yet you just wouldn't see it, whatever I tried, you would not understand. You wouldn't let me anywhere near."

Jeff nodded, his face very sad.

"I've been blind Alan. You are the baby of the family. You were barely more than a baby when your mother died, and somehow I never noticed that you were growing up. I still saw the little boy who was afraid of the dark. I was so busy getting the International Rescue Organization up and running, the building of the facilities and the machines, building the space station and establishing it in a safe and secret orbit...training Scott and the others...it never occurred to me that you were being left behind. Scott, John and Virgil were already old enough to start learning the ropes, and Gordon was the age you are now. He had been having trouble at his school and after your mother died I decided he would be happier being home educated. That was why he naturally fell in with the order of the training. Your mother always wanted you boys to have a good secular education, and so I decided you would be better off going to the mainland to a proper school. Give you the kind of education your mother wanted for you. I never stopped to consider what you wanted. I knew best and that was that...or so I thought."

"I tried to tell you so many times."

"I know son, and I never heard you. I thought your enthusiasm must be just childish mischief. I never realized how blind I had been until that business with The Hood three years ago. I sat in that cage and watched you take on The Hood single handed, without a thought for yourself. I was so proud of you then Alan. More than you can possibly know. You have been a valuable asset to the Thunderbirds. I learned a valuable lesson then, never to underestimate anyone, especially my own son. It is a mistake I shall never repeat, Alan. That's a promise."

Alan stared at his father, feeling a sense of release he had not expected. Euphoria. He was good enough? He could do his job, knowing that he had his father's full confidence as much as the others did. Jeff grinned at him.

"By the way Alan, there's something else I want to tell you...not before time either, actually."

"What's that dad?"

"I'm making you the official Pilot of Thunderbird Three."

Alan's eyes lit up suddenly.

"Thunderbird Three? You are?"

Jeff nodded.

"It means you will be in full command of every rescue involving space travel. It will also mean that there may be times when you might have to be left behind when the others go off on missions, when there is an outside chance of anything occurring that require assistance from Thunderbird three. That is the area where you and John will be in closest cooperation. He will be officially in charge of Thunderbird Five, and our communications. You will all relieve him by turns of course, but he will be the commander of the station. Scott will command all earth-bound rescues and pilot Thunderbird One, and Virgil Thunderbird Two. Gordon will be in charge of special operations, driving Thunderbird Four underwater, operating optional equipment from Thunderbird Two, and you will also assist Gordon and Virgil."

Alan sat there, staring out to sea for a long time after his father had returned to the house. For the first time ever it seemed, a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt like he belonged properly. He no longer felt like he was on a trial, but a real Thunderbird. Thunderbird Three! He would be the recue astronaut for the team. A slow smile spread across his face that didn't diminish. Here was where it all began. . . .

There, my first Thunderbirds fic...I'd love to know what you thought...?