Note: (Yes, I posted a truncated version of this in Behind Closed Doors, but this is going to be the full version.)

Hello everyone! This one was originally posted on March 24th, 2016, but was taken down as a result of hacking. But hey, we're not here for dry facts - we're here for fun!

Here, have a threesome. Light side AU, canon divergence from the early years, Ben/Poe joined by Rey to be Ben/Poe/Rey! Otherwise know as Darkjedipilot. Woohoo!

This one is for my tireless, fearless, amazing, beautiful, stupendous, incredibly intelligent and kind and loving and caring (okay okay enough, I get it!) friend and beta, Annaelle! She goes by cuthian on Tumblr. Love you, my darling. You light up my world! xoxo

Rey hesitated in front of the door to her best friends' shared quarters, biting her lip as she willed her body into stillness. Tonight was not like any of the countless other nights that she had come over to play a game of chess or dajarak, or watch holovids, or to simply read in good company. No, tonight was something… different. She felt different, though she wasn't sure exactly why. But she knew that it was affecting everything about her tonight, today – kriff, the whole week.

Last week she'd turned eighteen. Ever since then, she'd felt like she didn't quite fit into her own skin; she'd felt like she could crawl out of it at any moment, and that it would just feel natural.

Rey placed a hand on the lightsaber at her hip and felt at least a certain degree of peace settle over her; the weapon had always been at her side, ever since she'd first arrived at the Academy, and it acted as a talisman to her to this day. Rey had asked her Master, Luke, and Ben, if they felt the same way about their lightsabers, and they had nodded at her in a way that demonstrated complete understanding of the feeling.

She wasn't sure what was different, but she vowed not to let it interfere with her usual game night with her best friends. She was sure that they were already wondering what was keeping her, and she was doubly sure that Ben had already felt her presence in the hallway. Lifting her hand, she pressed her fingers to the chime and waited for the door to open.

"One moment!" Rey smirked as she heard Poe call out from within the room, followed by a thump that sounded like someone had rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Rey only vaguely remembered the Academy rooms from a decade earlier, but she did remember that the walls were much… thicker… there.

That had been before they'd had to evacuate to D'Qar on a permanent basis. She hadn't understood until later that it was because a powerful Dark side user named Snoke was on the rise. Luke had done the right thing at the time to protect the children under his care, though Ben… Ben hadn't quite recovered from what had happened. She had only vague memories of the years before the evacuation, though, and the Ben she knew now was basically the Ben she'd always known, rough spots and all. Ben had once told her, in a moment of softness, that he had always appreciated Rey for never treating him as a changed person; for simply accepting him as who he was. Poe had done the same, though it had been easier for him since they'd met after the evacuation. Ben had needed all the allies he could get, and they had been more than happy to oblige.

She knew it had certainly worked out for Ben and Poe – if they hadn't moved to D'Qar, they never would have found each other.

Rey smiled softly at the thought, but with a touch of bitterness. They'd been so close, the three of them, even with their age differences. But the whole time she was stuck in her young, childish body, catching up to Ben in her Jedi training, she'd watched her friends fall in love. They'd never left her behind, but she had felt like she hadn't quite belonged in every aspect of their lives – not anymore. It wasn't their fault that she'd fallen in love with them both – not just loved them as friends… fallen in love. She couldn't help it. She'd tried. Even when they were together, and so happy in front of her, it never dissuaded her.

In fact, sometimes it just made her pining worse. She wanted the love that they shared with each other, the kisses, the hugs, the cuddles, the secret smiles… she wanted them both to look at her like that. Perhaps it was some residual aspect of growing up with them, from being a child in their presence and always getting their attention at a young age… but she wanted to be included.

But she didn't want either of them to know. They'd laugh themselves silly if they knew she was pining for them – let alone both of them. Kriff, even she laughed herself silly at the thought. Not only was it entirely socially unacceptable, but there was no room for her.

Not with them; not when they were so happy together.

Yet, all that aside… it didn't help that they weren't married. She felt that maybe, if they were, she'd be able to close that door once and for all. But they weren't. She'd asked Poe why once, about a year ago; why they hadn't gone that route. He'd replied thoughtfully that they weren't ready for that yet… that something seemed to be missing, though they weren't sure what. Something that they were waiting for.

That had definitely not helped her push aside her feelings. Something was missing? She couldn't help but dream…

She plastered a smile on her face and reached up to adjust her buns as the door finally opened. Poe, dressed in a red t-shirt, black pants, and barefoot, greeted her with a grin. "Hey sweetheart, come on in! Sorry about the mess. Oh, and Ben's in the shower. We kind of um, lost track of time." Rey's heart picked up its pace at that. "I don't know how we always do that. It's not like you don't come over at the same time every week, huh? Three times a week, at that. We must be terrible friends." He winked at her at the last.

Rey winked back at him, and then picked her way across the mess on the floor before easing herself onto the end of the quickly-made bed and leaning against the wall.

"So what'll it be this time, Rey?" he asked as he walked towards the fridge in the kitchen. It was a large set of quarters with an open layout that Rey had always admired. Her own room was much smaller, but she was still a padawan. Ben had passed his trials for Knighthood years ago, Poe was a captain, and they were together, so it was only reasonable that they had such lush accommodations. She was sure it helped to have the General as your mother, as well, in Ben's case, she thought wryly.

"A beer, please. That one with the citrus flavor, if you have any," she answered after a pause.

He glanced back at her and blinked, before his smile spread back across his features. Rey struggled not to let her feelings show on her face, falling back on meditative techniques. Sometimes she wondered why Luke – though she knew full-well that Mara was the cause – had rescinded the directive against personal relationships for Jedi… and now was definitely one of those times. The feeling inside of her was entirely too distracting. She could see how it could cause problems.

"That's right. You are of legal age now, aren't you?" Poe said rhetorically as he grabbed one of said beers from the fridge. He shoved his black curls off of his forehead before opening the bottle and handing it to her.

For a lot more than drinking beer, if only I could find someone who would make it worth it, Rey thought bitterly. Outwardly, though, she smiled up at Poe as she replied, "Yep!" with false cheer.

"Oh come now, Rey," came Ben's voice from the direction of the 'fresher. He was in loose grey sweatpants, barefoot and bare-chested. His head was lost under a thick white towel as he dried himself off, but he was still able to cut straight through Rey's defenses. "You should sound a lot happier than that. What's eating at you?" He pulled the towel off and tossed it into the hamper beside the 'fresher door before moving across the room. His eyes bore into Rey's, much like they usually did, but this time there was something far more intense about them than usual. It was like he saw exactly what was bugging her. But he couldn't – he wouldn't – he'd promised her he'd stay out of her head.

"I thought you said you'd stay out of my head, Ben," she grumped at him. She took a long pull of the beer, relishing its full-bodied taste. She'd only had a few beers in the last week, and some that she'd snuck in the years before, but this one was definitely her favorite as of yet. It certainly provided a welcome distraction as she tried to keep her eyes off of Ben's slim, toned upper body.

If she didn't know better, she could swear he was doing it on purpose. He'd certainly had shirts that he could have easily put on, but had chosen not to.

But no, she knew better.

"I don't have to get into your head to know something's bugging you, Rey. I know you too well, after all these years. We both do, right Poe?" he asked as he grabbed his own beer from the fridge.

Poe glanced at her and shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, sweetheart, but he's right. We do know you that well. What's the problem? Did Luke rescind your time with the mechanics or something?"

Ben pulled an armchair over towards the bed before sitting in it and propping his feet up on the end of the bed, near Rey's own feet. His feet were large, but thin, with tiny black hairs dotting the top. He'd always been a lot more conscientious of his body, before Poe, hiding it from everyone with more layers than the other apprentices… but now, he was so much more confident in his own skin, and she had Poe to thank for that. She resisted the urge to lift her fingers and trail them across the knuckles of his toes; perhaps to see how ticklish he would get.

"Rey? What are you smiling about now?" Poe snapped his fingers in front of her face and she came crashing back to reality. She hadn't realized she'd become so unfocused. "You're really out of sorts tonight. Seriously, what's going on? You can tell us." His voice was filled with concern and tenderness. "You can always tell us," he reiterated as he sat down beside her on the bed and slung his free arm around her shoulders.

Rey felt her face heating up and desperately tried to calm herself, rather than focusing on the musky scent wafting off of Poe; the one that her brain was waving in her face, it seemed.

What was wrong with her?

She hadn't been able to stop thinking about them this week, ever since her birthday. One comment by her friend Lana – about how now she was of age and could participate in some of the more carnal delights on offer around the base – had been all it took to set her mind haring off in all directions. Whereas before she had only thought of it occasionally, pleasuring herself here and there after a stressful day to release her tension, she had never thought about it every moment of every day.

It was enough to drive her mad.

And then add onto that, the fact that almost every single thought had led back to her admiration of the two men who had been so ingrained in her life from childhood…? Ben might be ten years older than she, and Poe three years older than that… but she had always seen herself as one of them – as an equal.

But now there was so much more she saw herself as – and none of it was possible. They were together, and that was that. She needed to move on. She needed to find someone to satiate her curiosity, to give her a good first time… and move on. But damn it, if she were to accomplish that, Ben would need to put his shirt on first. He really was not helping matters.

Rey sighed heavily and thumped her head back against the wall. Maybe she could explain it in really vague terms. Maybe they'd have some suggestions for her, but wouldn't pick up on what was going on inside her head.

Poe set his beer down on the floor and then reached over and plucked hers from her hand, placing it beside his. He returned after a moment and tucked her against his side as he leaned back on the bed. He was sprawled out on his back, and one of Rey's arms was draped over his chest with her ear over his heart. They'd lain like this before when she was a child, though once she'd hit fourteen Poe – and Ben – had stopped cuddling her as much. She knew why… but she wasn't sure why Poe was doing it again now, after all this time. She was painfully aware of how fast her heart was racing, and also of the fact that she was in a bed she was pretty damn sure they had just had sex in before she arrived.

What had she done to deserve this torture?

"Wh-what are you doing, Poe?" she finally asked, breaths ruffling the fabric of his shirt beneath her lips.

"You looked like you needed some good old-fashioned cuddling," he replied softly. His heart was steady and strong beneath her ear, and the warmth he exuded was comforting, but she was still tense.

"But –" she started to protest, but Ben interrupted her.

"Rey, come on. Enough stalling. You know you can tell us anything. Even anything embarrassing. Remember all that stuff you told us about walking in on those two captains? Yeah, you can do worse than that, even. Nothing can faze us at this point." As he spoke, Ben pulled his legs off of the bed and stood up from the chair. She watched from where her head was resting on Poe as Ben made his way closer to them and sat down on the other side of Poe from where Rey lay, tucked between him and the wall. He lifted one hand and smoothed Poe's hair back from his forehead, smiling tenderly at him before moving his gaze – and the smile – to Rey. She felt her breath catch, and Poe's arm tightened around her in response. He said nothing, though, and Rey was grateful for that. Ben's smile always had a bitter edge to it, but this… this was open, relaxed, and filled with love.

Rey felt bolstered by the smile, and so she closed her eyes and spoke before she could lose her nerve. They were right – she'd always shared everything with them. "Well. Um." Oh goodness, she was never going to get it out at this rate. She breathed in deeply. "I turned eighteen last week. You know that. It just – well, it was Lana, really – got me thinking about… sex." The last was said almost on a whisper, and she was just glad that her eyes were closed so that she wouldn't have to see the expressions on their faces. They'd talked about it before… but never about a situation so personal to Rey, herself. Poe's arm tightened around her, and she could swear that his heart had beaten faster for a moment there.

"I don't mean I was imagining it," she rushed to continue. "I mean more like I was thinking I finally, um, wanted to try it. I'm of age now and… except I don't know who. I mean –" Rey was becoming increasingly flustered, and she buried her nose in Poe's t-shirt for a moment, inhaling his scent before coming back for air. Thankfully they hadn't tried to talk, instead letting her finish her train of thought. "I mean, I want it to be special, but there isn't anyone special that would want to share it with me." She lowered her voice for the next part, hoping that they wouldn't understand, but still needing to get the words out. "Not anyone who's available, anyway."

She kept her eyes closed and sighed, raising her voice again. "So there you have it, boys. That's my embarrassing secret. Not really much I can do about it, though." She fell silent, finally, and all she could hear from the other two was their slightly rough breathing. She waited for one of them to speak. She could hear Ben shifting on the bed and Poe stiffened slightly under her as she pressed her ear tighter to his chest, focusing on his heartbeat under her ear… it was comforting, but Rey was sure that it was speeding up.

It couldn't be because of what she'd said… could it?

Rey breathed in sharply when Ben spoke up, finally. "So… who isn't available?"

She clenched her fist into Poe's shirt and groaned. She'd hoped that he, of the two of them, wouldn't pick up on that. The Knight was always very astute, and he never let anything go once he got a hold of it. "Really, Ben? I… I don't really want to answer…"

"Come on, Ben –" Poe started, before he too was cut off.

"It's not the two of us, is it?" he said, super arrogantly, and Rey's eyes flew open to see that Ben had the stupidest look on his face. It was a blend of cockiness, joking, and… wistfulness? He was laughing, as if he'd made a joke, but then he realized that Rey was staring at him with wide, horrified eyes. "Rey?" he asked, the smirk wiped off of his face as he leaned towards her. Poe tilted his head to look at her, lifting his other hand to her chin so that he could raise it and get a better look at her eyes.

Rey blushed, and tried to look away, but firmed her resolve and finally met Ben's, then Poe's, eyes. "Well, actually…"

Suddenly, Rey was on her back on the bed, Poe hovering over her from where he was straddling her waist. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, even though he was barely touching her, and she could only stare wide-eyed up at him, holding her breath completely. He angled his head down so that he could look her straight in the eyes. "You're not kidding, are you?" His voice came out huskily.

All she could do was shake her head slightly before Poe's lips crashed down on hers. She was shocked and she didn't respond as he moved his mouth over hers. Her eyes darted to the side to catch sight of Ben looking at the two of them intently, his hand gripping Poe's upper thigh tightly. Poe deepened the kiss and she found her eyes fluttering closed, her hands clutching the pillow under her head as she responded. She'd been kissed before, but never by someone she'd had such feelings for. His lips were hot and moist as they parted hers, his tongue darting out to flick at hers before drawing back so that he could nibble on her bottom lip.

She jerked beneath him as she felt Ben's long, cool fingers grip the hand that was closest to him. Poe pulled back slowly, her lip caught between his teeth. He stretched it out a little before letting it go, and Rey felt a rush of desire shoot down to pool between her legs. She squirmed beneath him as he leaned back on his heels, his rear trapping her legs against the bed.

Poe smirked down at her; an expression he'd certainly learned from Ben.

Rey quickly found her voice, trying to regain her usual assertiveness. "What… what was that for, Poe? Ben? What's going on?" Ben's fingers twined with hers and he squeezed her hand as he looked at Poe, lifting a brow to indicate that his lover should be the one to answer.

Poe twisted one of her stray pieces of hair around his finger. He'd always liked to touch. "You remember that conversation we had, when you asked me why Ben and I weren't married? How I'd responded that it felt like something was missing? I… Ben and I have felt for the last year or so, like you were what was missing. You've been such a large part of our life, for so long, that it felt weird to share something together without you." His finger trailed down the curve of her jaw. "Of course, you weren't of age so we couldn't do anything but admire you from afar as you grew into a beautiful woman." He laughed. "That really makes us sound like terrible letches, doesn't it, Ben? We certainly didn't feel this way until recently, I have to say again! But really…" He trailed off.

Ben smirked and disentangled his hand from Rey's, only to bring it up to cup the cheek that Poe wasn't caressing. He finally spoke up, glancing first at Poe and then at Rey's flushed face. She could only stare as her every dream was realized, her eyes flicking between the two, and her breaths still coming shallowly. "We were going to wait and see, maybe drop some hints here and there to see if you were interested. We had a feeling you might be interested – at least, in one of us, though you like us both that way, right Rey?"

She could only nod.

His grin widened and he brushed his thumb over her lip. "Even better. And here you are, admitting it to us. We were going to approach you at some point in the future, but this… this is even better."

Pushing a hand against Poe's chest, she pushed him off of her until she could sit up on the bed. He went willingly, folding his legs underneath of him as he sat on the edge of the bed, behind Ben. She could tell that he didn't want to crowd her, and she appreciated that. She held up a hand, asking for a moment to think, and they both gave it to her, Ben dropping his hand from her face as well.

She finally spoke up, her face and voice still somewhat guarded. "So… you're saying you would like me to join this… your… your family, essentially?" she queried. She was trying her best not to get her hopes up. They'd been best friends for so long, but this… this was so much further beyond her scope of understanding that she had no idea what to think about it. "Isn't that considered socially inappropriate?"

Ben laughed at that, and she couldn't get mad at him because the laugh was one of pure amusement – there was no condescension to be found. "Did you know it's perfectly acceptable on Naboo?"

She shook her head.

"Well it is, and damn it, people can shove it if they don't like it, anyway. Rey…we'd be happy to have you with us, in all ways… but only if you'll have us. We didn't really intend for…" he waved his hand between them all, "this to happen; not like this. We don't want you to feel coerced or pressured."

"I don't!" Rey interjected quickly. "I… just, I can't believe it, almost. I've been thinking about it for so long…" She blushed. "We fit so well together as friends, and I spend almost all my time with you anyway…"

"…but as lovers we'll be so much more," Poe said solemnly as he draped an arm over Ben's shoulder and leaned in towards her.

Rey squared her shoulders at that, having been reminded of her original answer to their inquiry as to what was wrong earlier. She decided to fully take hold of her usual assertiveness, and go after what she wanted. Everything was working so well – beyond her wildest dreams, really – that she may as well go all in… "Yes. Yes, I want all that. I want you. I want you both. Will you… will you both help me with what I was telling you about earlier? About…" she cleared her throat, "…about having a special first time?"

She looked them both in the eye. They had both stilled, Poe still draped across Ben's back, arms wrapped around his shoulders, and their dark hair intertwining until she wasn't sure whose hair was whose. "Could you help me now?" Now that they were here, talking about this, she didn't want to give them – or herself – a chance to back out. She knew she needed to do this, commit to this, fully. She knew they wanted it. She knew she wanted it.

She felt like she'd wanted this for years, even if she wouldn't admit it out loud.

Poe was the first to break the silence, his usual confident, sweet manner gone almost entirely. In its place was a serious, passionate man whom she'd rarely seen – and certainly not in this capacity. "Are you sure? Are you sure you want us both? If we do this, there's no going back. You're ours afterwards, Rey. If you want out, afterwards, of course we'd let you – we're not cruel. That's not what I mean, anyway. But, you have to understand, this means more than just sex to us, Rey. There will be people talking, but we won't want to hide it. And we want you to stand strong at our side. So I reiterate: are you sure?"

Rey felt her heart soar at his husky words, and the smoldering lust in Ben's gaze was nearly enough to make her mind stop. She forced herself to look at them both before answering, with as much love and passion of her own infused in her tone, "Yes."

The words were barely out of her mouth before Ben launched himself forward, catching her face between both of his hands, and crashing his lips against hers.