Vietvn: Okay this is a sorta 'filler' for my story, ' You gotta be cruel to be loved ' BUT at least its not a filler that u can just forget about. it sorta ties into the story too so if u n read ch.19 u wudnt be able to get the character's reasoning afterwards. So here we go, my first songfic .
Ps. Theres a sorta scene change for every verse in the song kk?
Start
It's been at least a couple of months now, Soul Society was heavily damaged after the betrayal of the three captains and the raven-violet haired girl. All four of them retreated to Heuco Mundo and immediately Aizen started to experiment with the hollows, turning them into Arrancers with the help of the Hogyoku. Of course, like Reimei had stated, there were some imperfect Arrancers but those were sent to wander around in the human world. Aizen had expected the shinigamis to take care of that and that's exactly what they did. Ulquiorra Schiffer, the 4th Espada would be sent to the human world repeatedly to do a report check and to monitor the shinigamis movements. Upon hearing that shinigamis were sent to the human world, Reimei had continuously volunteered to go and do that report check herself. Almost always, Aizen would let her go but without questioning her first. Her usual reply would be that she didn't want Ulquiorra to do such a troublesome task and that he should be preparing for the upcoming war they were planning.
" You're way too generous to your comrades Tanaka-san. " Aizen would always say before letting her be on her way, her emotionless face could even fool Aizen but deep down, she was hoping to see someone she dearly missed.
That's how much I love you.
Unknown to her, that that someone was feeling the same way. Hitsugaya Toushiro had recently came to the human world to do an investigation after Aizen, Tousen, Ichimaru and...Reimei had betrayed Soul Society. After all this time, he still can't bring himself to say that she had betrayed Soul Society, betrayed her friends, betrayed him. He couldn't take his mind off of her along with the same question that ran through his mind; Why? Had something happened that made her be this way? If so, what? Toushiro sighed while sitting on the rooftop of Orihime's house to clear his mind and to get away from his vice-captain. It also came to his sense that every time he would space out, his thoughts and mind would wander over to the one he truly adored but only to feel saddened knowing too well where she is.
That's how much I need you.
Stepping out of the Garganta(A/N: Its how the arrancers move to and from Hueco Mundo, you know..the zipper like thing that opens up to this dark purple swirly thing X) )Reimei began to make her rounds around Karakura town. Scanning for any shinigamis and spirit forces while keeping to higher grounds. She stopped a few minutes after running to take the time to sense the familiar spirit forces. She felt Ichigo's friends spirit forces; Matsumoto Rangiku, Madarame Ikkaku, Ayasegawa Yumichika, Abarai Renji, Kuchiki Rukia, and...Hitsugaya Toushiro.
Reimei really couldn't help but smile softly to herself, knowing he was still there. One by one, past memories flooded back into her mind and almost seemed to replay in front of her. But she couldn't think of that right now, after what she's done. He'll never forgive her if she was to come crawling back, let alone believe that she's only siding with Aizen to spy on him. But she can't, she just can't stop herself from feeling the way she feels no matter how hard she tried. That's what she hated about herself, the fact that she's still holding onto the past which made it harder for her to continue what she's doing without wanting to turn herself in.
And I can't stand ya
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for a while?
No...
Hitsugaya reflected on his past memories, wanting to know why Reimei would do something like this. If there was any chance to make her change her mind, he was willing to help. His thoughts soon wandered over to the times they usually shared together when they were alone. But it was usually when Hitsugaya was doing paperwork while Reimei laid on the couch, it wasn't much but they enjoyed each other's company. When Hitsugaya wasn't working on paperwork, he would usually find Reimei sitting near the sakura tree outside. They would start having casual conversations and sometimes a few pointless arguments. That made him smile a bit but then came the time when he had first found out about her betrayal and when they had first clashed swords. Hitsugaya looked into the memory, when he fought her, her eyes shone briefly with sadness before she did something that shocked him.
She kissed him. For a moment, he had almost forgotten that they were fighting, almost forgotten about her betrayal. It was pure bliss, that was until he was knocked unconscious, if he were to ever cross blades again with her pulling something like that, he's sure he'll be a sitting duck.
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
Then you kissed my lips
All of a sudden I forget,
What I was upset
Can't remember what you did
Reimei closed her eyes, concentrating on the level of reiatsu. All of them were fairly low which means none of them were fighting or doing anything that involves using shikai or ban kai. All except Ichigo was accounted for, that she made a note of. Reimei decided to head off to see if she could catch a glimpse at some of her friends. Taking off in one direction, she concealed her reiatsu so no one would be able to sense her. Her mind was still preoccupied on the same thing that's always been running through it. No surprise there but that's not what she wanted. She wanted to get him out of her mind but she just couldn't.
But I hate it
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long, that's wrong
Hitsugaya let out a frustrated sigh again and laid back on the roof, watching the stars twinkle in the night sky. Pinching the bridge of his nose to stop an oncoming migraine. Never would he thought that one person who make his mind go crazy like this. But he couldn't do anything about it and couldn't exactly blame the person who caused it when she might not even know herself.
But I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore you
She stopped abruptly and landed on top of a building. Looking down, she saw many people still walking around in the busy streets below. She wanted to be like that, doing something else besides this. But life was not so simple, especially for a shinigami. Reimei couldn't get rid of the feeling, the feeling of wanting to see him again. No, it would blow her cover. But if she didn't, then this feeling of yearning would only grow. Reimei clutched her hand into a fist.
'And to add to it, we're enemies. Its not like I can walk up to any of them so casually anymore.. '
Why? Why did she have to feel this way? It was for their own good that she's doing this, she wanted them to be safe so she committed herself to watch over Aizen to see if he would plan something that might hurt someone she cared for. Then she thought about the feeling that always seemed to have a hold of her heart. The feeling she wants to be rid of and yet, was something that reminded her of him. That, she is thankful for, it kept her from being tempted to actually stay in Heuco Mundo longer than she needed.
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so..
Hitsugaya stood up, glancing off in a direction.
'That's strange, I thought I sensed something. Or maybe it was just my mind playing tricks again. I really need to stop spacing out. ' Even if he told himself that, he would do it anyways. He'll still unconsciously let his mind drift back to Reimei and coming up with reasons why she would betray them.
'Why? She has nothing against anyone right? Nor do we have anything against her, so why? And the fact that she was being nice and everything. Taking the time to help out the division with it's work and everyone else, was it all just an act? ' He really couldn't understand anything about this. Why does it always hurt near his heart at the thought that Reimei might be acting the whole time. All the things she did for him; just an act. Maybe its because she always understood him and always seems to be the only one to make him laugh and smile, things he'd never done before. Even Hinamori hadn't been able to do that ever since he became a captain. But never would he expect that he'll take her betrayal this hard when he didn't even admit his feelings for her yet. He wasn't sure if she even felt the same way.
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
' I hate being love sick...' Frowned Hitsugaya. He let out yet another sigh, hoping that maybe Reimei would change sides again because deep down, he didn't want to think that maybe if they ever met again on opposite sides, he would be forced to treat her like an enemy. Hitsugaya really didn't want it to be that way, especially now that he had the nagging feeling in his heart that didn't seem to go away.
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
Reimei continued to run off, glancing every now and then to see if she could find someone familiar. She wanted to see everyone, she wanted to see how they were doing and if they were improving with their strengths. Reimei also hoped that they weren't injured while fighting one of the imperfect Arrancers. As she continued to run, a familiar reiatsu engulfed her senses and her heart began to race faster and the feeling of her stomach doing back flips she always gets whenever she was with Toushiro started to act up again as well.
'Toushiro...'
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me
'It's that feeling again but I'm sure of it this time..But where is it coming from? 'Hitsugaya looked around his surroundings finding nothing too suspicious. Even though he couldn't exactly see anything, he still felt like something about this feeling was familiar.
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
Reimei slowed down to a stop and carefully plotted out where his reiatsu was coming from. As much as she did want to see him, she couldn't afford a confrontation. Not yet. She carefully traced his reiatsu and found out that it was near Matsumoto and Orihime's house. Reimei made a mental note and decided to avoid crossing paths with that street so she settled that after she avoided Hitsugaya, she'll head back to Heuco Mundo, ignoring the other half of her mind that was screaming for her to see him.
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
Hitsugaya stood up from his seat on the roof and scanned the area, nothing was out of the ordinary except for the gut feeling he had. Finally noticing a presence was near, he became more alerted and jerked his head to the source but what he managed to catch made his eyes widened.
And I hate that I love you so--
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
She narrowly managed to avoid his piercing gaze, in her mind she was hoping he didn't catch her. Reimei couldn't believe that she had listened to the other half of her mind, was she really that much in love with him? She inwardly sighed concluding that love really does make you do crazy things. Reimei eyes wandered over down to Hitsugaya who still stood glued to the roof, they're eyes finally meeting after a very long time.
And I hate that I love you so
Sadness, the same sadness she showed when he fought her. Hitsugaya couldn't find the will to move as her silhouette figure stood above him on an invisible force. The moon's ray illuminated her face with shadows but didn't conceal the sadness in her eyes. It made his heart ache, knowing she was so close and yet so far away. He knew just by looking at her, she didn't want to fight him, just like how he didn't want to fight her. But why? What was keeping her from changing sides, Hitsugaya was determined to find out. As Reimei's figure slowly disappeared through the ripped fabric in the sky that lead back to Heuco Mundo, Hitsugaya couldn't find the strength to call out to her.
So he just let her go and decided that when the time comes, he'll get her back. He vowed to help her, if others choose to turn away from her then he'll be there. Deep inside him, he knew that she wouldn't do these things. Just by looking in her eyes, he knew she didn't mean to.
" Reimei..." He whispered her name in the silent night, looking up towards the place where she had disappeared, a shooting star streaked by in its place.
' I won't leave you... '
And I hate that I love you so.. so..
How was that? Gud? Bad? O.o R&R plz