Lan Yuan loves good days.
On good days, he will be woken up by his father instead of the attendants. The other children will look at him with envy and awe as the Han Guang-Jun glides into their quarters like an untouchable immortal being and proceeds to wake him up and help him get ready for the day. After washing and getting dressed, his father takes him to eat his morning meal with his uncle and his granduncle. The food is bland and uninspired but it is leagues better than the fare he had at Yiling so Lan Yuan eats without complaint. Besides, the faster he finishes his food, the faster he will see his mother.
Lan Yuan is nearly vibrating when Lan Wangji picks him up from his seat and walks down the various paths that will take them to their destination. The weather is temperate today and Lan Yuan hopes that they can have the midday meal outside. Maybe his father will even take them both out to see the bunnies. Lan Yuan loves bunnies. But not as much as he loved his mother of course!
"There's my baby!" Wei Wuxian brightens at the sight of Lan Yuan bolting out of his father's arms and into his mother's wide-open ones. They instantly fold around him and Lan Yuan feels the safest in his mother's arms, "My beautiful A-Yuan! How have you been?"
"Mama!" Lan Yuan cuddles into his mother's embrace. He adores the scent of lotuses and spice that seems to permeate through his robes and snuggles even closer to Wei Wuxian's chest. "I practiced my flute just like I promised! Will you listen to me play?"
"Did you?" Wei Wuxian chuckles indulgently, smoothing a soft hand in his child's unruly hair. "I can't wait to hear you play. As a matter of fact, let's all play a song together. Lan Zhan!"
"Yes, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji already has his guqin brought out and settled on his lap. His father is not smiling—he rarely ever does—but Lan Yuan can see the gentle look of affection he directs at Wei Wuxian.
He spends the whole day with his mother and father and it is filled with warmth and laughter. Lan Yuan absolutely loves good days.
But just as there are good days, there are also bad days.
On bad days, no matter how much Lan Yuan cries or screams or throws nasty temper tantrums, he cannot see his mother. The attendants get him ready in the morning and he spends the day with his uncle in his office. Uncle Lan Xichen is kind but also really boring, nothing like his mischievous fun-loving mother who plays with him and makes up new games when he tires of the old ones. If he inquires about seeing his mother, he is met with gentle refusal and distracted with a new toy or lesson. If he persists, he is punished with sitting in a corner for a few minutes.
Bad days are dull and filled with unsettling quiet that makes Lan Yuan feel itchy inside, like a million ants are crawling under his skin. He hates them because he can't be with his mother or his father. Uncle Lan Xichen tries his best to entertain him with interesting tidbits or with long strolls throughout the Sect grounds but it's not the same as being in his mother's embrace or playing the guqin with his father.
On one such Bad Day, Lan Yuan is struck by the need to see his parents this instant. Though Lan Yuan is still rather young, he is also relatively mild-mannered (temper tantrums aside) so he often has a lot of leeway in terms of playing independently by himself. So when an attendant calls Uncle Lan Xichen out to attend to a quick matter after the evening meal, Lan Yuan waits until he can no longer hear their footsteps and quietly slips out of the office and takes the familiar path to the Jingshi.
He can see the glow of lantern light behind the screen door which means that his mother and father are definitely inside.
Wei Wuxian is sitting completely still in front of Lan Wangji, not a trace of emotion on his normally emotive features. It is utterly bizarre to see such a cold, distant look on his ordinarily kindhearted face and for a moment, Lan Yuan thinks he's looking at a doll instead of a person. The table between them is laden with all sorts of heavily spiced delicacies, the sort of fare that they don't usually get in the Gusu Lan Sect. There are also a few jars of alcohol and beautifully decorated vessels filled with tea so fragrant, Lan Yuan can smell it from his hiding place outside the screen door.
He aches to burst into the room and demand attention as all little children are prone to do but something about the somber tension between the two holds him back.
"I made all your favorites," Lan Wangji says conversationally as he places some choice bits of meat and vegetables in Wei Wuxian's bowl. "Have some before it gets cold."
Wei Wuxian remains impassive, inscrutable eyes watching Lan Wangji's every move. He doesn't lift a hand to pick up his own bowl even as Lan Wangji begins to take small measured bites of his own meal.
"I've talked with the attendants," Lan Wangji says, "They say you haven't been eating properly."
Wei Wuxian remains silent though Lan Yuan can see the sudden sharp dissonance in his mother's storm gray eyes.
"Let me pour you some tea," Lan Wangji murmurs quietly as he reaches toward Wei Wuxian's teacup. Before his fingers can touch the fine porcelain though, it is swiped off the table in one sudden violent motion. The sound of shattering pottery startles Lan Yuan who claps a hand over his mouth to stop the scream from bubbling in his throat.
When he looks back at his parents, he sees that they have not moved. Both of their hands are still outstretched toward the center of the table.
"Do you honestly think that I would willingly drink anything you hand me?" Wei Wuxian questions with thinly veiled anger. It must have been the trick of the light because Lan Yuan could have sworn that red was sparking in his mother's irises before hastily being extinguished and he crumples to the floor with a groan of pain. "Do you think I don't know about the poisons keeping me docile so that I remain your submissive little wife?"
The question seems to strike something deep within his father because Lan Yuan can see the utter devastation written in every line of his noble features even as his father hurries over to his mother's side to help him up and back into his seat.
"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji exclaims worriedly. His golden eyes hold a world of hurt even as he pours yet another cup of tea for Wei Wuxian. "Please, just drink this and you'll be better!"
"I'm not eating a single thing you put in front of me!" Wei Wuxian screams and swipes everything off the table. The sound is so loud that Lan Yuan nearly falls onto his bottom in shock. He has never seen his mother so furious before and it scares him so much.
"It's for your own good," Lan Wangji begins.
"It's always for my own good!" Wei Wuxian spits out bitterly, eyes flashing as they stare hatefully at Lan Wangji. "Just you wait. As soon as I figure out how to undo these suppression seals, I will take A-Yuan and disappear from here for good. You will never see us ever again once I find a way to escape from this hell hole."
"Wei Ying, please!" Lan Wangji begs, fragmented and vulnerable before the other man's disdain. "You are safe here. A-Yuan is safe here. I am trying to protect you."
"You're just like your father!"
The statement hangs in the air between the both of them, the look on Lan Wangji's face is one of stunned silence while Wei Wuxian's is one of slight regret but quickly morphs into something hard and fierce.
"That's right," Wei Wuxian says scornfully. Once he has started, he finds that he cannot stop himself, "Your brother told me about how your father trapped your mother in a little cottage out to 'protect' her from your sect's wrath, how you were only able to visit her once a month. And now you're doing the same to me!"
"It's different!" Lan Wangji insists, drawing closer to Wei Wuxian in an effort to calm him and pull him into his arms. Wei Wuxian avoids his arms, slapping away Lan Wangji's hands before they can make contact.
"How is this any different?" Wei Wuxian questions in a scathing tone, eyes narrowing in challenge. "You didn't lift a finger to save any of the Wen Clan during the siege and trapped me and A-Yuan in this place where your word is law. Face it, Lan Wangji. We're your prisoners. Stop deluding yourself into thinking that this is anything like a proper family."
"Please, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says, completely broken. "I love you. I love you and I love A-Yuan."
All the tension drains out of Wei Wuxian. His hands drop limply to his sides and he turns away from Lan Wangji, defeat in every curve of his drained body.
"I don't love you," Wei Wuxian replies quietly, exhausted.
Lan Yuan doesn't know what is going on but he knows that his mother is very angry at his father for something very bad. No child wants to see their parents fighting so Lan Yuan quickly bursts into the room, cheeks turning red from his distress. He stumbles and falls to the floor, skinning his knees on the wood in his haste.
"Mama?" Lan Yuan finally calls out, tears dripping from his face from both the pain and his grief.
Both of them freeze and turn to the small child sitting on the ground.
"A-Yuan, you're not supposed to be here," Lan Wangji is quick to pick Lan Yuan up in his arms. A broad hand is placed protectively over his back and quiet soothing murmurs are whispered in his ear.
Lan Yuan peers over his father's shoulder to his mother who avoids their gaze.
"I want mama!" A-Yuan cries even louder, his hands stretching out over Lan Wangji's shoulder for Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian finally looks up and the look on his mother's face is shattered. It only makes Lan Yuan cry even harder and thrust his arms out farther in an effort to reach Wei Wuxian.
"It's time for bed," Lan Wangji says, "You can see Mama tomorrow."
By the time they have made it to the children's quarters, Lan Yuan has stopped crying but his head is still stuffed with thoughts of what he has just seen.
"Why was Mama so mad at you?" Lan Yuan asks when his father sets him down in bed. "Why was Mama so sad?"
"Wei Ying was just tired and hungry," Lan Wangji explains to him patiently as he pulls up the covers and tucks him in. "Your mother comes from Yunmeng Jiang Sect and he is not used to the foods here at Gusu Lan."
It is an obvious excuse and Lan Yuan is too clever for his own good to not see through it.
"But Mama said something about suppression seals," Lan Yuan persists even though he feels something bad and wrong settling in the pit of his stomach. "What are suppression seals and why does it make Mama so angry?"
Lan Wangji remains quiet for a moment. His golden eyes are indefinitely sad and melancholic.
"A-Yuan," Lan Wangji finally says, "You love your mother?"
Lan Yuan nods. He knows Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are not his real mother and father. His granny had once described to him what his real mother and father looked like and how they had cared for him as a baby only to die before he could walk. But he likes think that if his mother and father were still alive then they would teach him to play the flute and sing him soft lullabies like Wei Wuxian does or feed him sweet soup and buy him as many toys as he wants like Lan Wangji does.
"And you want him to stay with us always?"
Another nod.
"Those suppression seals are there to ensure that Wei Ying will always be together with us," Lan Wangji explains in a gentle tone. "They are there to make sure Wei Ying will remain your mother and my wife."
"But Mama doesn't look happy," Lan Yuan replies unsurely as he is tucked under the covers. "He said he didn't love you, father. Why did he say that?"
As far as Lan Yuan knew, mothers and fathers loved each other. He thought his parents were the same. To hear his mother say otherwise was extremely disconcerting.
"Wei Ying is having a hard time adjusting, that's all," his father smooths a hand in his hair. "Tomorrow, he will be in a much better mood and we can go out and have a picnic with the rabbits."
"Mama seemed really angry though," Lan Yuan tries again. "What if he's still angry tomorrow?"
"Lan Yuan!" Lan Wangji says authoritatively, patience clearly worn thin by his constant barrage of questions. "Enough questions. It is past your bedtime."
Lan Yuan is cowed by the unexpected harshness in his father's voice.
"I'm sorry, A-Yuan," his father sighs. The esteemed Jade of Gusu Lan looks worn down and weary like the slightest wind could knock him down right now. "Wei Ying will be better tomorrow. I will ensure it so go to sleep and I will be here in the morning to wake you up."
"… Alright," Lan Yuan finally acquiesces even though the sick wrong feeling still sticks in his belly. "Good night, Father. I love you."
"I love you too, A-Yuan," some warmth seems to return to his father's eyes and in a rare show of affection, his father presses a kiss to his forehead. "Good night."
And just like that the knot untwists in Lan Yuan's chest and he relaxes under the covers.
As the door slides shut and plunges the room in welcoming darkness, Lan Yuan hopes tomorrow will be a good day.