One Last Goodbye

Thirteen year old Jonny Quest had woken up a bit early this morning. He didn't know why, but he didn't really care. The sky outside held the promise of more snow. That was okay too. After all, it was Saturday, it was winter, and last night it had snowed several inches. Jonny loved winter. He loved snow. And so did Bandit.

Thinking of his dog Jonny reached down to the foot of his bed to wake Bandit up for his morning walk. "Hey Bandit, time to get up boy." Jonny scratched the bulldog's ear. Always before this had woken Bandit up and had him wagging his stump of a tail, ready for a new day. Today Bandit let out a soft sound and looked up sadly, as if to say, "not today thank you". Jonny was concerned. Bandit was a healthy dog. For him to not want to get up something must be wrong. Careful not to disturb his dog Jonny got up and knelt at the foot of his bed. Slowly he ran his hands along his dog's body, searching. Just before Bandit's left hip he had his answer in the form of a small hard lump under Bandit's skin. Sucking in a breath Jonny continued his search. To his dismay he found a second lump just where Bandit's right leg joined his chest. This too was small, but unmistakable. "Oh Bandit." Jonny whispered with a sniff.

With great care Jonny lifted Bandit into his arms. For the first time he noticed that his best friend felt different somehow. Trying to hold back his tears Jonny carried his dog down the hall to his father's room. He'd just reached the door when Race came down the hall with Jessie. "He's not there Kiddo, he's already down in the kitchen." Race began. He paused at the look in Jonny's eyes. "What's wrong Jonny?" He asked.

Jonny looked down at his best friend lying in his arms, his eyes closed. "Bandit has..." At this point Jonny shook his head, unable to utter another word. Without hesitating Race led Jonny to the kitchen, where his father was sitting down with the paper and a cup of coffee. Jonny gave a little shudder. Why the kitchen? Why did the worst news of his life always have to be here?

When Race, Jonny, Bandit and Jessie had entered Benton had looked up. The smile that had been on his face faded the instant he saw Jonny's expression. "What is it Son?" He asked, worried. He pulled out a chair for Jonny.

Jonny sat down beside his father. "Bandit... He didn't want to get up this morning." He shook his head.

Benton let out a small gasp as the implication of his son's statement sunk in. "Let's take him to the vet then. I'm sure..."

For the first time in his life Jonny interrupted his father. "It won't do any good Dad. I found two lumps." Jonny said quickly, as if trying to get out the words while he could. Then he sniffed. "They aren't close together. Why here?" Jonny asked suddenly. "God I hate this kitchen!" He swore.

Understanding his son's pain Benton didn't correct him for his language. "Jonny, we can at least try. They can treat cancer even in dogs." He offered.

Jonny knew better, but didn't want to cry in front of his father. "I'll go change." He said. Without another word Jonny left. Walking slowly he carried Bandit back to his room and lay him gently on the bed. Loathe to let go of his dog Jonny rushed to get on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Inside a minute he once again held Bandit in his arms. Though he wanted a moment alone with Bandit he knew every second he didn't get to the vet meant Bandit would be in pain. Sighing, he carried his dog into the hall.

Just outside his door Jonny ran into Hadji. His human best friend put a hand on Jonny's arm. "Your father told me." He explained, then reached out for Bandit. Closing his eyes Hadji focused hard on Bandit, attempting to ease his pain. When he opened his eyes he did something extremely uncharacteristic. "Damn." He swore. "I think he's bad Jonny. I'm very sorry."

Not saying a word Jonny nodded. This was the first time since he'd met Hadji three years ago that Hadji had dropped his normally formal speech, and had cursed. Jonny didn't say anything. He and Hadji walked side by side to the living room, where they met the rest of the family.

"Jonny, we're all here." Jessie said softly, coming to his side. Benton came and put Jonny's coat around his shoulders, and the family made it's way out to Benton's car.

All the way to the vet Jonny sat between Jessie and Hadji. Later he would be grateful that they never took their arms from around his shoulder. Later, when it didn't hurt so much, he'd be thankful they were there. Right now Jonny was focused only on Bandit. Always before Bandit had loved car rides. Today he just lay his head on Jonny's wrist, sighing.

* * * * *

At the vet's office one of the techs took Bandit straight back to be x-rayed. The vet herself led the family to an exam room. Asking the hard questions she learned that Bandit had shown no sign of weakness, or age, or even being tired before this morning. When the tech brought Bandit in he motioned for the vet to come into the hall. Jonny, once again holding Bandit, looked up at last. "You don't have to go. I know he's dying."

The vet tech nodded. "The cancer must have started near his heart, and worked it's way back."

Jonny looked down at Bandit and lovingly scratched his ear. "How soon can you..." He sniffed. "I don't want him to suffer."

The vet knelt before Jonny. "Whenever you're ready." She said, to the shock of the group sniffing herself. Jonny understood. Dr. Jansen had been Bandit's vet since day one. It had been her who cared for Bandit during those terrible days after his mother's death. It was only right she should help ease his pain this one last time. Still, she left to give Jonny a bit of time with his dog.

Benton kept his arm around his son. He knew how hard this was for Jonny. Truth be told Benton himself was fighting back tears. Though he didn't usually show it Benton loved the little dog that had been such a big part of their family for the last eight years. Benton had known someday Bandit would die, but he wished it didn't have to be so soon.

"Mommy?" Jonny's soft voice broke into the silence of the room. "Please take care of Bandit for me. I know you loved him too." A second arm slid around Jonny's shoulder's and he looked up into Race's blue eyes. "I never did tell you how I got Bandit." He paused. "He was the very last birthday gift my mother ever gave me before she died."

Silently Jessie and Hadji came to sit on the floor before Jonny. "You remember how he was Race? Always finding his way into something he shouldn't be in, always were the action was." Jonny smiled fondly down at his dog, leaning into his father for comfort.

Benton smiled. "I remember the day your mother gave him to you. It was cold for April, in fact it had snowed the night before. I don't think I ever saw anything so funny as you and Bandit running around in the snow, tripping all over each other. It never fazed either of you, you just got back up and started running again." He remembered.

"Remember the time he went body surfing down at the beach?" Jessie asked, causing everyone to smile a bit. That day had been hot, and the family had headed down to the beach at the base of the cliff for a swim. Bandit had seen a piece of driftwood floating in and had swam out to retrieve it. Much to the little dogs surprise he had been pushed back in by a wave. Determined to get the driftwood Bandit had gone back, wave after wave, only to be pushed back repeatedly. Even so, on the sixth time out he had managed to get the stick. He had pranced back to Jonny, who was on the beach howling with laughter. Extremely proud of himself for getting his prize Bandit had given Jonny a look that asked what he found so funny before dropping the stick at Jonny's feet.

"I remember the time you got the flu something awful, that time your Dad was in New York. I don't think Bandit left your side for more than five minutes." Race said. "He scared the living daylights out of me, scratching at my door at three am. I thought someone was trying to break in for a second. At least I did till he howled."

Hadji reached up and scratched Bandit's ear. "I remember the first day Bandit and I were alone together. All of you had gone into town to go shopping. After a while I decided it might be time to let Bandit out. I cannot tell you how long I chased him all over the house. Yet he always stayed just beyond my reach, wagging his tail and barking." Hadji smiled at the memory. "I knew he wanted to play, so I just kept chasing him until he finally got tired."

"So that's why he was sitting on your lap when we came home!" Jonny said, amazed.

Very quietly Benton lay his hand on Bandit's back. "I owe him the world. After your Mother died, he rarely left you alone. I think in some small way he felt guilty for not being there. I never told you where I found him that night he disappeared from your room. He was lying down on the kitchen floor, in the exact spot... It was the first time I went in there after your Mother died. Bandit just looked up at me, as if to say he was sorry, and I knew he missed your Mother as much as we did. I wonder sometimes how you would have made it through without Bandit."

Bandit shifted a bit on Jonny's lap, then let out a sigh of pain. "It's time." Jonny whispered. Race went to find the vet. Jonny gave his dog a gentle hug. Not even two minutes had passed before Race and the vet returned with an iv. Jessie and Hadji moved to the side, and the vet cleaned a spot on Bandit's leg. She set the iv, and let the medicine begin to flow.

Jonny bent low over his dog and whispered quietly in his ear. "Thank you Bandit, for everything. You don't have to worry about me now. You've been a good friend to me, but now it's time for you to go be with my Mom."

Bandit looked up into Jonny's eyes, and wagged his stump of a tail just once. "I'll always love you Bandit." Jonny said softly. With a last wag of his tail Bandit closed his eyes. His breathing slowed, then stopped.

* * * * *

They buried Bandit under his favorite tree, near the edge of the cliff. Two days later they set a paving stone Jonny had made over his grave. Mosaic tiles ringed the outside of the square tile. Set under a clear plastic frame was a picture of Bandit and Jonny together. Above the picture was Bandit's name and the date of his birth and death. Below the picture were the words, "My best friend, who left his paw prints forever in my heart..."

* * * * *

I wrote this to remember my mother's dogs, Casey and Shadow. Casey was the inspiration for Bandit's passing. He got cancer in his hip a couple years ago. It had gotten removed. Last January it came back, this time where his leg met his chest. At fourteen, there was just no stopping it this time. Funny, but like Bandit, he never showed any pain or tiredness other than his normal age as his tumor grew. Shadow did. He got sick of some intestinal thing just after Casey's cancer came back. Our vet, the reason I wrote in Dr. Jansen, tried everything, but nothing helped. Seven long months passed. Casey never showed any sign of pain. Shadow rallied a few times, but never for long. The day Casey showed his pain for the first time was the day my mother knew it was time. A week later, at the end of September, after bringing them home to New York, she let them both go. They too have a tiled headstone.

I hope that for any of you who have lost a beloved pet, you find a bit of peace in these words.

For Casey and Shadow, brothers by love if not by blood. 1994-2008