A/N: Okay, so I recently fell in love with the song Pain by Three Days Grace, and this would be a songfic, if not for the rules. But, I still kinda liked the strange idea I had, so here… have this. Happy Christmas.

"Just solve the bloody test! It's not even that hard! C'mon, just get it over with already!" he bellowed in fury as he watched her from the monitor in his lair. It was madness. All he needed was to have that itch gone… only the sweet—oh, so sweet— bliss of the euphoria could drown his mind and body and relieve him of it. How terribly amazing it felt as every part of him went numb and his mind buzzed with the pleasure of a test being completed… he wanted—no, needed— to feel it again. But there was no other way to feel it than testing, was there? Nooo,of course not.

"You know what, I'm sick of begging and begging you to finish this test. I honestly am. You don't understand this… this itch. It's bloody horrible. If you had to deal with it, you'd understand how badly you need to test, how badly you need the euphoria, and how aggravated you would be when someone refused to test and help you get rid of this itch. I'm tired of watching you mock me, so I'm just going to leave for a while. This test is going to be solved by the time I return, or let's just say one of us may not survive, and it won't be me. You've got thirty minutes. Solve it," he ordered before shutting off the screen in his lair. He stood up and sighed in distress. Was the lady trying to torture him? Because it seemed like she was. He needed the euphoria so badly and she wouldn't give it to him. Why was she doing this?!

"Argh!" he yelled as he punched the wall in anger. Suddenly, a very strange but cool and soothing feeling overwhelmed him. He knew what it was: the euphoria. Energized, he walked over to the monitor and turned it back on, expecting to see the test solved and the lady waiting for the lift. But to his surprise, she was still sitting against the wall and listening to whatever the potato was saying to her.

What in the…

This shocked him quite a bit. He couldn't have just imagined the euphoria, no... it was real, alright. But if she didn't solve it… then what could've…

He looked down at his hand. Curiously, he scratched the back of his left hand with his right, hard, which left a painful thin red mark. The feeling returned and for a second, all he could do was stand there, completely entranced by the gratifying feeling of the euphoria that dulled the itch and made him feel partially dazed and numb. This was better than the euphoria he felt after a test. He needed more, and nobody could prevent him from getting it now. Feeling very pleased by this new discovery, he smiled to himself.

I don't need you anymore, he silently whispered to the lady. I found a new euphoria.

"Alright, you need to solve this chamber before the moron comes—" the potato began to say before the huge screen on the wall came to life, displaying him sitting in a chair, looking quite dreamily at them, which her mute companion found quite creepy.

"Oh, you haven't finished the test yet? No worries. Just take your time, luv. No rush," he breathed in a very odd, relaxed tone, still smiling and staring off into space.

"Oh god, what have you done?" the potato muttered in an accusing way.

"Nothing… why do you ask?" he queried in return.

"Moron, you said that if the test wasn't finished by the time you got back, you'd kill her. You must be doing something to make you forget that." shouted the talking vegetable.

"I did, didn't I? Are you saying you want me to kill you two?" he mused, smirking at Her.

"No… I'm just pointing out that you're too soft to kill her. You don't have the guts to, and the only reason you keep her around is so you can get the euphoria."

"Actually, I've discovered that I don't need her anymore. I found a new euphoria that you never had the guts to find."

"Oh yeah? What is it then?" She snapped, only to receive a mocking chuckle as an answer.

"And I would tell you, why?" he responded. The potato said nothing.

"That's what I thought. I leave you two to do whateveryou want. I don't care if you solve the test or not anymore. I mean it. Do whatever the bloody hell you want, I don't care," he stated before switching the monitor offline.

"I just know he's up to something even worse than his normal terrible ideas. We need to take him out very soon, or who knows what'll happen to this place," proclaimed the tater. For the first time in what was probably forever, the lady nodded in agreement to Her. "Finish the test, and then we'll head towards the central chamber."

She placed a few portals, moved a cube, pressed a button, and the test was solved in a matter of seconds. As usual, she walked towards the lift and stood expectantly before it. It didn't move or open as it would.

"The moron's probably too 'busy' to call the lift. I think there's a manual way to operate it. Here, plug me into the port over there and I'll try to call the lift," She said, and the woman did as she was told. After a minute or two of waiting, the narrow lift came to the chamber.

"There. I commanded it to take us to the second to last chamber. It can't be authorized to go any further by anyone besides the central core. In the final chamber is an entrance to the central chamber, where we'll go to reach him. Meanwhile, you can enjoy some relaxing time while you're not testing," She said before they entered the clear lift and started up.

It hurt terribly, but felt so unimaginably good. He would've screamed out in pain as his normal, old self, but instead he smiled madly, feeling overwhelmed with the satisfying dull numbness of his body. But it wasn't enough. He wanted more. He needed more, and would do whatever it took to get it.

She entered the chamber and took a quick glance at the components: an Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super Collider Button, a weighted storage cube, an excursion funnel, and an aerial faith plate. It was simple, as all of the tests in his test track were built. With the agility of a cheetah, she began to work on the test. But out of the blue, the lights and everything electrical in the facility flickered and shut off momentarily before it all went back on. The silent test subject looked at the potato attached to portal gun for an explanation, but then looked up at the large screen to her right.

"S-Sorry 'bout that, um… Just-Just blacked out there f-for a moment… continue testing, luv," he mumbled, half-awake, but grinning madly. She just looked at the image of him, very concerned about the blood his hands were apparently covered in, and he seemed to notice her confused and worried expression.

"Oh, d-don't worry… just a…" he looked to the left of the screen, grinned wider, then looked back at her and continued, "a very successful... test, I guess you can say it was. Look, why don't you just finish the test, yeah?"

"I thought you said you didn't need the euphoria anymore, moron," piped the vegetable.

"You're right, I don't. I'll just leave you to finish for your own sake. The sooner you finish the tests, luv, the sooner you can be free. The choice is yours. See you in the next chamber… hopefully... if you're not... you know..." he added at the end with a mocking smirk.

He was right, though. What choice did she have?

"Don't trust him. He's lying about letting you go. I just know it, but yes, you should keep going. The quicker you finish, get me in my body, and get rid of him, the quicker I'll release you. Honest. I literally can't lie, remember? So let's get a move-on," bargained the potato. She nodded again, and then picked up where she left off on the unsolved test. Within about two minutes, she was waiting at the lift once again. The lights dimmed for a second again and she walked back into the test, glanced at the blank monitor, and then glanced around the chamber again, looking for a way to catch his attention.

Fortunately, he must've been watching her because she heard his voice over the speaker system.

"Oh... r-right... the... l-lift..." he breathed laboriously. She turned around and headed for the lift once more. Stepping inside she couldn't help but worry about what was giving him the euphoria or why his hands were covered in blood earlier...

He knew he should stop. But it felt so good. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him about how much it hurts and that he's practically killing himself just to get the useless feeling of the euphoria. It told him it wasn't worth it; he was acting like a complete idiot by doing such horrible things to himself, but he didn't listen; he just went farther, went deeper. The pain was agonizing, but that was what him feel so energized, and he would never stop if it meant that he'd lose the euphoria.

Blood dripped from his forehead to the tiled floor beneath him and he smiled as the feeling dulled the itch and made his body to go numb once again. It was exponentially better than the test euphoria, especially because he could feel it without begging someone to do something for him, like solve a simple test. But the itch was still there, and the new euphoria wasn't enough to make it disappear. He needed it completely gone.

His glance shifted to the broken spike plate resting against a wall, and a sadistic smile spread across his blood-soaked face.

The elevator stopped at the last test chamber, and she stepped out and headed for the test. All of a sudden, the lights shut off again and didn't come back on for a minute or so this time.

"If that moron damages this facility anymore, I swear I'm going to—" the potato started to shout before the monitor lit up in front of them and the test subject stared, completely shocked by what she saw.

"Aren't... you... g-going to... t... test?" He asked between his pained and shallow breaths. She shook her head and continued to stare at her former friend. He looked absolutely horrible; his hands were soaked with the same red liquid that was trickling down the sides of his head, he was barely awake, and his insane smile seemed to be fading into an anguished grimace.

What on Earth have you done to yourself?! she non-verbally screamed at him.

"C-C'mon… just… test… I-I can't… I can't argue… with you… a-anymore…" he whispered as his hand right hand pressed harder onto his left side. The euphoria was at its maximum, though he didn't know it, but somehow the pain was hurting worse than the actual reason he was doing it in the first place; it hurt more than the euphoria could make him feel good. In the back of his mind, the voice still was shouting and yelling at him that the euphoria wasn't worth the pain, and it took almost his entire consciousness to fight it. Maybe it was too much…

No… it's not enough… he told himself.

"J… Just… solve… the bloody… t-test…" he faltered, more dead than alive. She could see how much pain he was in, and, in a way, blamed herself for it. If she hadn't refused to test for him, he might not have found out about this "other euphoria", and wouldn't be like this. Right now, she didn't care that he had taken over, or that he betrayed her, or even if she was really going to be set free. All she wanted to do was save him; make him okay.

"I… I can't… it-it hurts… too…" he managed to breathe out before the facility shut down once more, and didn't come back on.

"What the hell did the moron do this time?" The potato snapped, oblivious to the fact that he could very likely be dead. The mute woman felt as if she could cry, but she wouldn't, because she knew that wouldn't help her get to him any faster. Instead, she did the best she could to get to a platform close to the lift, and waited for the vegetable on the end of her gun to speak up again, but She didn't. The lights were gradually coming on a little bit; it seemed as if someone was manually trying to power it, like a hand-crank flashlight. They were on just long enough for her to discover a door that read, "Central Chamber Entrance" and walk towards it. The lights flickered and went out again as she entered the large room.

He heard footsteps. It might've been his imagination, but he secretly hoped it wasn't. Somehow, he thought trying to stand up was a good idea, but yelped as he was then reminded of why it would've been best just to have stayed down. Every part of him ached unbearably, and this time, he couldn't feel the euphoria he would've received from it. Somewhere in his hazy, barely conscious mind, he could hear the voice screaming at him that he should've listened, that he deserved to hurt… that he deserved to die. He didn't have the strength to fight it this time, so he just agreed with it, and unwillingly let tears pour from his eyes, stinging the various cuts and scrapes he had collected on his face.

The lights in the central chamber were powered by a backup solar panel somewhere on the surface, so the room was just bright enough for her to see her wounded friend lying on the floor in the center of the room. She hurried towards him, and knelt down by his side.

He was cut, bruised, and bloodied all over his body, and his breaths were shallow and fitful. The side he was holding protectively when she saw him last on the monitor was gashed severely, and was still bleeding. She cautiously pushed a strand of hair away from his face, and his eyes fluttered open the slightest bit.

"C-Core… trans… tr-transfer…" he murmured as his head fell to the side. She didn't know how much longer he could hold out, but she knew she had to work as fast as she could. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied the port where she could place the potato to initiate the transfer. She raced over to it, detached the vegetable from her gun, clicked it into the port, and pressed the button to initiate the transfer. Both the potato and the unconscious man were pulled into the floor, out of her line of sight for a moment before the once-potato woman appeared from a set of stairs that came up from below. Her skin was a pale white, and Her eyes were just a bit deeper gold than the sun. She saw that She had one hand behind Her back and in the other she held him by the back of his shirt collar. The mute subject glared at Her in horror as She scoffed and threw his body to the floor. He let out a faint moan as he hit the ground, and she heard him sob quietly before falling completely silent. She rushed over to him, wanting to hurt Her for being so heartless.

Please be okay, please be okay, she cried in her head.

"Why on Earth would you care about the moron? He betrayed you, tried to kill you multiple times, and then almost destroyed the facility because of his selfishness. Come to your senses. Just let him die… he deserves it," She snapped.

No he doesn't… I want you to—

"Fix him," she muttered, voice cracking from not being used in literally centuries. She stood up and turned to look at Her.

"Did you seriously just—nevermind. You're probably too dumb to know how to anyway," the cruel woman muttered, walking in the opposite direction.

"Fix him. I want you… to fix him," she repeated as the tears she was trying to hold back flowed down her cheeks.

"Why should I?"

"B-Because… I tested for you. You sh-should do something for me in return," she faltered, knowing he didn't have much more than a few minutes left.

"I don't see why I have to… but I know you won't let me forget it and I don't want a bad record, so… I will. Bring him over to that table, and I'll retrieve the supplies," She ordered as she started heading towards a closet in the corner. The woman crouched down by him, relieved to see him still breathing... barely. She helped him sit up and then pulled him to his feet.

He was shaking badly and wouldn't let go of his side; it hurt way too much. With one arm around her neck, and her arm around his back, he managed to stumble over to the table. Of course, it was more like she dragged him, but he tried his best to stay on his feet. Everything was such a blur; he felt distant, and could hardly keep his eyes open. The only thing he wanted to do was sleep, and make all the pain go away. The voice in his head was right; he'd gone so far—too far— just for something so stupid.

The sound of something humming brought him back to reality. Except it wasn't humming, but voices around him, talking to each other; one he recognized and the other he'd never heard before. Two voices, and two figures he could just make out standing over him, one of them examining his wounds, the other by their side.

"I-Is he going to be okay?" he faintly heard one cry.

"I don't know. I need to anaesthetize him so I can suture his wounds. Hand me that thing… no that one… yes, thank you," commanded the one who was first examining his injuries. He wasn't sure what "anaesthetize" or "suture" meant, but he didn't have the time, or the strength, to figure it out before, all of a sudden, he felt numb, as if he were feeling the euphoria again, and very tired. It wasn't long before he drifted into a dreamless, but painless sleep.

She watched, horrified, as She stitched up all the gashes he had attained all over his chest and back. Why would he have taken it this far? Didn't he know how dangerous it was? A tear trickled down her pale face.

"There. All of his major wounds are stitched up, and the minor ones will be able to heal on their own. Now we just have to wait until he wakes up to see how he feels," She proclaimed, and she quickly wiped the tear from her face.

"H-How long will he be asleep?"

"Depends. He lost a great amount of blood, so my guess is about a day or so."

"Okay," she whispered, followed by a sniffle. Noting Her subject's distraught expression, an idea came to Her.

"In the meantime… would you like a slice of cake or two? You seem thin," She offered.

"Yeah, right. I've heard that one before," she stated coldly.

"No, I mean it this time. Honest. I'll be right back," She said before leaving the chamber through a hidden door on the far side of the room. When She returned, in Her hands sat a black forest cake topped with whipped cream, cherries, and a candle in the middle.

"It's for all the birthdays and holidays you deserved a cake for. Only one cake, though, but it's worth a thousand."

The test subject eyed the cake suspiciously.

"How do I know it won't explode in my face?" she asked.

"It won't. Trust me," She reassured with a genuine smile. She looked at Her doubtfully, then blew out the candle. She brought the cake to a nearby desk where She cut a thick slice and put it on a paper plate for Her test subject. She poked it with her fork a few times before actually taking a chunk and lifting it to her mouth.

It tasted better than anything she ever imagined cake would taste like. She turned to Her, teary-eyed, and hugged her.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He woke up with a throbbing headache which made his head spin, that wasn't made any better by the bright light he was laying under, and his entire body ached horribly. The second thing he noticed was that the itch was gone, which made him very relieved. Cautiously, he sat up, trying to avoid any more pain and looked around. Everything was fuzzy. After blinking a few times, it all came into focus a bit more, though he seemed to be missing his glasses. To his side was that lady, and next to her was the ruler of the facility, back in Her original body. Out of instinct, he tensed up, preparing for the worst, but nothing happened.

"Wh-Why don't y-you guys want to k-kill me? I mean, well, just-just look at the facility a-and… and…" he began to ramble, but had to stop because of the dizziness that started to make his vision swim again.

The lady smiled, which comforted him, yet somehow made him want to cry.

"We're not going to hurt you. How do you feel?" she questioned.

He couldn't hold back the tears.

"A-Are you okay? What's the matter?" she asked.

"Y-You didn't have to s-save me. Why d-didn't you just let me-let me die?" he stammered, feeling terribly guilty for everything he had done to her.

"Because you didn't deserve to die. How were you supposed to know that the mainframe would corrupt you or would give you that 'itch' thing you mentioned? It wasn't your fault; none of it was. You are my friend, and I would never let my friend die."

Despite how much it hurt, he reached out and pulled her into a full hug.

"I'm sorry, luv," he whispered into her ear.

"Don't be."

They pulled apart and looked to Her.

"What happens now?" she asked.

"Cake, anyone?" She replied with another one of Her rare, but sweet smiles.

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed, returning the grin.

A/N: First M rated story... woo hoo? Yeah, I know, the ending was quite crappy… :P I am horrible at endings. Ha. Ha. Ha… Oh, and I would like to thank my friend who has been reading and helping me my writing ever-so-willingly, and also helping me with my courage to post these. Thank you. You know who you are. ;)