After 20 years of Pinkie pie's Rehab: The documentary.
Announcer: So pinkie pie, its been 20 years since we did your last interview. Last time we interviewed you, you were Addicted to parties, sex, drugs, murdering ponies to bake in cupcakes, and even alcohol. We hear you now have been rehabilitated to the original pony you were before your 22nd birthday were everything went down hill for you. Is that fair to say?
Pinkie pie: Yes indeedy dandy. I learned from my mistakes. And figured out violence is never the answer. (whispers) or are ponies real ingredients for cupcakes hehehehe…
Announcer: would you care to tell us about your rehab experience?
Pinkie pie: (frowns) well ok. But it will not be A pretty story. Its terrible and haunting. But everypony is my friend, that means you are mister announcer pony. So I shall tell you.
As you all know my party addiction was clearly fine when I was A little filly, but when I became A 22 year old adult mare, Bon-bon and lyra heartstrings made me try my first alcoholic beverage and since then I became A hard partying pony that do anything to get in the spotlight. Sex. Making homemade porn that was soon linked to the internet. Drugs. And even vodka. I was uncontrollable. The drugs and vodka made me lash out on my friends and even made one of my best friends rainbow dash and many fillys and even Gilda meet there demise. I was soon found out for my murders and immediately fired from sugar cube corner and arrested. Twilight after many attempts finally was able to make me go to rehab.
The first time after my first rehabilitation I was back to my old habits. Finally once again I was sent to rehab. But this time to the nut house. For 10 straight years I was in rehab for murder. The next 6 years I was in rehab for drugs and alcohol. Then I was in therapy for sexually problems. After 16 years I finally was cured of all my problems, moved back to ponyvill, and was given my job back at sugar cube corner. However I wasn't allowed to make the cupcakes, I was only allowed to wait on costumers. Also I learned life lessons while I was in therapy.
1: Sex is never to be used to earn money or just to get pleasure. Sex is something your only supposed to share with someone you love. The one you marry. The man of your dreams. Or in some cases. The women of your dreams.
2: violence is never the answer. Killing is never something nopony should ever do. Its evil. Degusting. And can even cause you to kill friends. In my case, rainbow dash.
3: Are fellow ponies are not food. There friends. Ponies are friends not food.
4: Even though killing is wrong Gilda, silver spoon, and diamond tiara got what they deserved.
Announcer: Pinkie, you can't say that on tv.
Pinkie: oopsies, I am sorry.
Announcer: please continue.
Pinkie pie: well really there's nothing to say left. I went to rehab and changed my life to the pony I was always supposed to always be, due to the help of my dear friend twilight sparkle.
She proved to me again that friendship really is magic. And I will never forget that. I will never forget the lessons I learned. Actually, that would make A good letter to the princess…
Announcer: well were glad to see your all better now but you got A letter to write to the princess I see. Thanks for sharing your story with us. But for now this includes tonight's special news story.
So to all the ponies in ponyvill, goodnight.
The end.