Lunatic Parade-201
Written by Gabriel "Oh yeah I'm calling myself Gabriel now" Ricard
Disclaimer: I don't really own anything here. The main cast for today's episode are my wacky
friends from the JOJ message board.
Ah…season two of Lunatic Parade. The second season of FF7 was supposed to debut around
this time but my computer fucked it up so just to get some more writing published I'm bringing
back this sad little series. Thanks to everyone at the JOJ board for letting me use them in the
episode.
(On Earth)
G'Mec: What the hell are we gonna do?!
Gabe: Don't worry…I have a plan
Deadstar: Does it involve several hours of masturbation?
Gabe: Yeah…
Deadstar: Tell you what…I have an idea…let's go with that
G'Mec: This I gotta hear…the entire cast of Lunatic Parade has gone on strike and we have to
debut the new season on the Lunatic Planet TONIGHT!
Deadstar: Send a bunch of us employees up there…pick one of us to host and a bunch more to
be the wacky sidekicks and what not
Gabe: That…is a great idea! Good work G'mec!
Deadstar" G'MEC?!
Gabe: You are a genius
G'Mec: I try…
Gabe: Okay…you take Deadstar and a few others to the planet…use the magic elf ship..
Rebecca: Can I go too?
Gabe: Who are you?
Rebecca: Your stalker remember?
Gabe: Ah yes…sure…why not. Now remember to rip off Space Ghost as much as you can. Get
out of here…my…magazines have arrived (A large box is brought into the room and dropped on
Gabe's desk)
Rebecca: (Peers in) Ohhhh…Asian chicks can I have that one?
Gabe: No…now piss off
(Everyone leaves. Gets on the magic elf ship and takes off)
(Lunatic Planet)
G'Mec: This…RULES!
Emptychaos: I can't believe I have to be the one who sits next to you and listens to your
dumbass jokes
G'Mec: Well we are married
Emptychaos: No we're not…
G'Mec: It's the thought that counts
Emptychaos: This is so fucking stupid
Tinkerbell: (Walking in) You can say that again
G'Mec: So what do we have lined up for the G'Mec Show?
Tinkerbell: Jessicka from JackoffJill is stopping in and we're going to sacrifice Daizy from
accounting to the giant goat we found in the boiler room
G'Mec: Works for me…how bout a shout from all my peeps in the control room!?
(Control Room)
Rebecca: Why do we both have to be in here?!
Deadstar: I dunno…
Rebecca: Do you know anything?
Deadstar: I know a lot about Starbucks
Rebecca: So what do we do up here?
Deadstar: Lapdances
Rebecca: Are you just giving me stupid answers in a pathetic attempt at being funny?
Deadstar: Yes…
Rebecca: Good…as long as we're clear
Deadstar: Wanna fight with the baseball bats I brought along?
Rebecca: Sure…
Deadstar: Great! (Winds back and floors Rebecca with the bat)
(Studio)
G'Mec: You know…no one played me to the desk
Emptychaos: It's no big deal…let's just get this unfunny travesty over with so I can go home
G'Mec: Wow…we have one HOT band!
Whore_Princess: Tee-hee!
Witch Cunt: Get a grip Princess
Cursedlildemon: Let's just play so the dumbass can get on with things
Phreakgirl: (Begins singing wildly and playing the guitar then stops) How was that
Whore_Princess: Very good…
Phreakgirl: Thank you!
Whore_Princess: CONSIDERING YOU'RE NOT THE FUCKING SINGER!!
Phreakgirl: (Cries and runs off)
Witch Cunt: Calm down Princess
Whore_Princess: YOU SHUT UP!!
Cursedlildemon: (Knocks Princess's head off with the guitar)
Witch Cunt: Good work demon
Cursedlildemon: Thanks!
G'Mec: Okay…let's bring out…JESSICKA!
(Monitor lowers with Jessicka on it)
G'Mec: Hey sexy…
Jessicka: Excuse me?
G'Mec: You are so sexy…will you marry me?
Jessicka: No…
G'Mec: Please?
Jessicka: Okay
Tinkerbell: I don't know if that's such a good idea
G'Mec: Quiet…who here is a priest?
She_Lost_Control: I am
G'Mec: You're a woman
She_Lost_Control: So?
G'Mec: Okay…ready sexy?
Jessicka: No
G'Mec: What?! why not?!
Jessicka: I changed my mind
G'Mec: (Starts to cry)
Emptychaos: A lot of people are crying on this show
Tinkerbell: Only two
Emptychaos: That can be considered a lot
Tinkerbell: It is not
Emptychaos: Is too!
Tinkerbell: Is not!
Emptychaos: Is too!
Tinkerbell: Is not!
Emptychaos: Is too times infinity!
Tinkerbell: Damn it!
Jessicka: Can I go now…
G'Mec: Only if you marry me and bear…fourteen of my children
Jessicka: Okay fine
G'Mec: Are you serious?!
Jessicka: No…
G'Mec: I am NOT falling for that again!
Rebecca: (Takes a break from hitting Deadstar with the bat) Twenty bucks says he does
Deadstar: (Knocks back Rebecca and hits her with a bat) You're on!
Jessicka: Let's get married!
G'Mec: YES!! When?
Jessicka: Never…
G'Mec: SON OF A BITCH!
Emptychaos: This is the worst show I've ever seen…
Tinkerbell: Yeah…only a miracle can save us now
God: DID SOMEONE SAY A MIRACLLLEEE?
G'Mec: Fuck off God
God: Sorry…(Walks off)
Jessicka: Can I go home now?
G'Mec: Not until you father at least one of my children
Jessicka: This hitting on me thing is getting really old you know
Tinkerbell: Amen to that
God: DID SOMEONE SAY AMEEEEEEEN?
G'Mec: God Damn it God I told you to fuck off!
God: (Cries and runs away)
G'Mec: Think I'll go to hell for making God cry?
Emptychaos: Amongst other things…
G'Mec: Hey! Where'd Jessicka go?!
Tinkerbell: We let her go…
G'Mec: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY FAMILY IS DOOMED!
Tinkerbell: Oh well…
Rebecca: (Appears with Deadstar's head in her hand) Who cares?
G'Mec: That's what I say…moving on…I am now going to list 2000 reasons why Nightrider is the
greatest band of all time…but first…Daizy?
Daizy: Yeah?
G'Mec: Meet Billy…
(A giant goat eats Daizy)
Daizy: (From inside the goats stomach) Hey! There's jelly-beans in here!
G'Mec: That's nice…now then…NUMBER ONE
(At the doors to the set)
Sociopath: Toyboat!
Dark Angel: Toyboat
Sociopath: Toyabi! FUCK!
Dark Angel: Ha…I win
Sociopath: Best of 373?
(The Lunar: EB cast walks up)
Lucia: What a great vacation
Leo: Until Ronfar got us all arrested
Ronfar: How the hell was I supposed to know Moonshine's illegal in Spain?
Hiro: Let's just get to the set and make sure everything's still standing
Dark Angel: Who are you?
Ruby: (Burns them both to ash's)
Jean: Ruby!
Ruby: They knew too much…
Jean: They didn't do anything!
Hiro: But it was damn funny…let's go I
(They go in)
G'Mec: And when he's on stage…brrrrrr…(Notices the others) Hiro? Lucia? Billy Joel?
Ronfar: (Turns around) I thought we told you to carry your punk ass home!
Billy: (Sniffs and runs off)
Ruby: What's going on here?
G'Mec: You quit the show so we took over
Tinkerbell: More like forced into…
G'Mec: Quiet
Ruby: Quit…? (Eyes widen) Son of a BITCH…HIRO!
Hiro: Yessssssssss?
Ruby: What did you tell Gabe when I told you to tell him we were going on vacation
Hiro: I told him to take this job and shove it so far up his ass that everytime he would sneeze a
piece of Lemina would fall out of his nose
Ruby: Did you confuse the word vacation with the word quitting?
Hiro: I thought they were interchangeable
Ruby: YOU FUCKING NINNY!!
Lucia: Calm down Ruby…Hiro?
Hiro: Yessssss?
Lucia: (Slaps the back of his head) You fucking ninny!
Deadstar: Does this mean we can go home?
G'Mec: I thought you were dead!
Ronfar: Yeah…I brought everyone back to life
Lemina: You can do that?
Ronfar: No…but I did anyway
Lemina: Ah
Daizy: It wasn't very nice to kill us G'Mec
Rebecca: I thought you were still alive
Daizy: Not when the goat passed me through it's digestive system!
G'Mec: OH WELL…not like guys can do anything about it
(Giant goat appears and eats G'Mec)
Tinkerbell: Let's go home
Witch Cunt: Works for me
Emptychaos: Hell yeah!
Phreakgirl: I need some pop tarts
(They all leave)
Hiro: So who's up for-
Ruby: Shut the hell up Hiro
End.
Well that's it for the latest in season two. To be honest, I'm going through a long period of nothing
with my writing and for now this will probably be the extent of what I work on. Besides the Tenchi
story and an Wizard of Oz remake gothic remake project. Thanks for reading and thanks to the
good folks at the JOJ.com message board for letting me use them in this episode.