Ficlet 1

SOOTHE YOUR FEARS

Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Rating: T

This can be during a sleepover, or while they are dating, or even married with kids. It's not really important for them to be a couple, but if that makes you feel better, think of it that way.

You wake up covered in sweat. You really don't remember what you saw, but all you know it's that it wasn't good. It has left something heavy in your chest, and breathing becomes an issue until you're able to control it consciously. Nights like this aren't uncommon to you, and somehow your brain has created a defense mechanism, deleting every image after your eyes open. You sit up, breathe deep and heavily, counting in between, You repeat five times, each time deeper, even a little bit loud in the silence of night. Eyes roam the room for any threats but all you finds it's the sleeping doctor next to you.

She's on her side, back turned to you, her shoulder bare, a lock of hair on the front, and most of them on her back. You try to look away, and you do. She doesn't have to know, you don't want to worry her. You lie down, close your eyes but sleep doesn't come. When the images in your head become too disturbing you turn around. There she is again.

You want to touch her, just to feel better. That nightmare has left you afraid and insecure so your reach your hand, touching lightly with your fingertips.

Then your whole hand follows slowly, aware of not disturbing her sleep. She's warm, and soft, and smooth, and breathing. She's breathing.

And she looks beautiful, something like an angel. You'll never admit this out loud but it's weird the effect she has on you. If she's okay, if she's smiling, then it's gonna be okay. But what if one day she isn't? What if another psycho comes after her again? They already have previously, she even has that hideous scar on her neck to confirm it. What if there is a next time, and you won't be able to protect her? What if you lose her?

You find yourself crying and clutching her shoulder. Only the idea of something disturbing her makes you uncomfortable. She stirs, and she turns. Damn it, you didn't want to wake her.

Her face is swollen, her hair a mess, eyes half-opened but you'll never change her with anything else.
"Jane?" She tilts her head, trying to focus on the dimly lit room.

You sob, and an awful noise escapes your lips.

"I … I …" You can't speak and vowels turn into hiccups. She opens her arms, without making a sound.

"I… I … I…" Again those horrible noises you'll deny to yourself in the morning. She only waits to have you at arms-lengths to pull you in. You give yourself to her effortlessly.

"Sshhh" She rubs her hand on your back, voice in your hair. "It's me, it's Maura. We're okay, I'm fine." She whispers and you want to believe her but you can't stop crying.
She continues rubbing circles in your back and holding even tighter, even though you haven't said a word and your arms feel too heavy for you to do anything with them.

"It's okay, I got you. You're okay, you're safe. I'm safe, it's okay."

You've only talked with her about your nightmares twice, during day when you were calm and a lot less clingy. She doesn't even know what you see, or at least you haven't said it, out loud.

"You're okay, you're safe, we're gonna be fine."

"I know." You manage to find your voice (well not really but you're too close, she can even hear you breathing so you know she hears this too).
"I ca-ca-can't st-stop." You feel pathetic.

"Sshh, it's ok." She's gonna say this until you fall asleep. She keeps cradling you and rocking you until your shivering and sobbing disappears. Her hold gives a little, minutes after and she may be falling asleep but your eyes are far from closing. Only when a tiny sob escapes you, you understand she's far from sleep too.

"Hey, look at me." She pulls away enough so she can put her hands on both sides of your head, and tries to remove the hair that sticks to your wet face. You feel her eyes on you but you don't raise yours.

"We're fine, ok?" You nod. You know this but that feeling still doesn't go away. You need her, and she's right in front of you but something's missing.

"We're fine, and we're gonna be fine. You're safe here, you are safe here." She nods to herself, then takes your hand and puts it on her chest. She gives it a little tug until you're looking straight at her face. "You are safe here, and you'll always be safe here, and you'll always have this." Her eyes are shinning with tears too, and you hate yourself for it. "And I'm safe here, ok?"

She moves those hands to your chest now, giving a small squeeze. "I'm safe here." She says it like it's the only thing she knows for a fact, even thought that's far from the truth. She smiles, her eyes are teary and her smile is somewhat sad, but it's honest and true, and you've always fallen for that.

"Okay" You manage to breathe out between tears, and the weight on your chest feels lighter.

She doesn't say anything else. There's no need. It's in her arms you manage to close your eyes without seeing monsters, it's in her arms where you feel like you can charge yourself, and have enough strength to wake up the next morning.

Now when she holds you, occasionally kissing your hair, you manage to fall asleep.