Kanaya was not planning on greeting an unwanted guest at six on a Sunday morning in a state of fashion that she would not allow anyone else but her Matesprit/wife Rose to see her in. In fact, it would simply be out of the question if not for an idiot who decided that it would be a good idea to try and pound in the door with their fist until one of the two mansion's occupants drag themselves out of bed to answer the unwanted call.
With killer lipstick in hand, Kanaya stormed down the stairs through the cold house ready to give the guest a thing or two. That thing or two mostly being a chainsaw. Though, Kanaya knew that she needed to hold herself from cutting the head off of the pour soul who happened to unleash the Maryam rage. The Maryam rage was unleash when Kanaya was forced out of the warm bed because the ignored knocking was becoming so loud Rose was afraid it would destroy the door. Somehow, Rose had managed to convince Kanaya to be the one to get out of bed and give a piece of their mind to the person at the door. Kanaya did not know how Rose convinced her, but she had done it.
Making it to the foyer, Kanaya opened the door ready to give the Maryam rage to the idiot who decided to knock on the door of the LalondeMansion at 6 AM what was coming to them. With a thousand of choice words on her mind, Kanaya opened the door and stood back in shock. She had to take a few moments to recompose herself at the sight in front of her.
"Hey fussyfangs," Vriska greeted Kanaya. "You look horrible. Did you get run over by a bus?"
Kanaya wasn't sure was she was more horrified by. There was the fact that Vriska was supposed to be dead but she looked well and alive standing on her doorstep. Then Vriska knew where she lived when she should not because she was supposed to be dead. Finally, Kanaya was most horrified by Vriska insulting her fashion choices. Vriska herself forced Kanaya to get out of bed to try to stop her from destroying the door. She had no time to make herself presentable and despite the common belief, Kanaya Maryam does not wake up looking fabulous. It takes a lot of hard work and hair gel to make Kanaya Maryam look fabulous.
"Can I come in?" Vriska then asked. "I've been knocking for over a half an hour and its cold."
"Of course, come in," Kanaya stepped aside to allow her former moirail to enter her home. Kanaya wasn't one to turn down someone in need of shelter even if they did share an uncomfortable past.
"Wow," Vriska gasped as she stepped inside the LalondeMansion and Kanaya closed the door behind her. "You got some nice digs Maryam."
"Thank-you," Kanaya stiffly replied. "It was rather dark and gloomy when I moved in so I did my best to give the house some life. But that aside Vriska, what are you doing here?"
"What? You're not happy with your moirail dropping in on you?" Vriska questioned as she wandered over into the kitchen.
"Former moirail," Kanaya reminded Vriska as she followed the spider troll into the kitchen to make sure she did not break anything expensive. "Because last time I checked you were dead."
"Yeah, I just happened to wake up on your lawnring alive," Vriska lightly explained, not developing too deep into the details. "So do you have anything to eat? I'm hungry."
Kanaya sighed, barely getting any answers. Kanaya knew that she might as well play along with Vriska's game of putting off facts until Vriska told enough fragments to put together a story. So to play along, Kanaya could not miss the chance to be an excellent host even if she did not look her best and if Vriska was a ghost from the past she would rather leave behind.
"Yes," Kanaya replied. "What would you like?"
"I don't know," Vriska stated poking the microwave. "A lot of this stuff looks weird. But anyway, do you have something like, beefgrub and mutilated unfertilized cluckbeast excrement?"
"No, we only have human foods," Kanaya replied. "But I can make you the human equivalent if you would like."
"Probably won't taste the same but sure," Vriska replies, her finger spinning around the microwave buttons as if she was tempted to press all the buttons. All of them.
"Please leave the microwave alone," Kanaya asks Vriska as she begins to make breakfast. Kanaya decided that it wouldn't do anyone harm to make a full on buffet if she was serving breakfast for three people. Kanaya was sure that Rose would want a piece of the breakfast action and had no idea how much Vriska was actually going to eat. So, Kanaya decided to prove her worth in the passive-aggressive charade by starting to make three of every breakfast item she knew even while looking like she just got out of bed (even though she had). Any leftovers could be feed to Vriska at a later date if she was staying for gogs know how long and to some of the homeless in the area.
"Why not? Its booooooooring sitting here watching you make food. Also if you hadn't noticed that is way too much food," Vriska pointed out sitting at the kitchen counter.
"Maybe I am making a meal for more than one," Kanaya pointedly replied. "And I do not want you breaking anything expensive. Also that microwave happened to be a wedding gift from one of Rose's publishers. Rose would be devastated if anything would happen to it because she could not point out how wonderful a microwave it is every time they hold a meeting here."
"Wedding?" Vriska asked drawing circles on the counter with her finger. "Isn't that the human way of confirming a Matespritship?"
"Yes," Kanaya replied.
"Sounds booooooooring," Vriska drawled.
Kanaya rolled here eyes and continued making dinner. Vriska seemed contempt to try and entertain herself by playing with the kitchen TV remote (another wedding gift from a publisher) and by the time Kanaya was done making breakfast Rose was descending the stairs to finally find out who was at the door. Rose most likely fell right back to sleep after the knocking ceased but she would never admit to that.
"Hhm, I see you have made a feast for us Kanaya," Rose said as she came into the kitchen. "What happens to be the occasion?"
"Nothing," Kanaya replied turning around to talk to Rose face-to-face. "I just thought that you would like a wide variety of food to eat."
Rose glanced around at the food Kanaya prepared before stating, "You are getting good at this Ms. Maryam. Almost too good."
"Well I have learned from the best," Kanaya replied. Rose gave Kanaya a smirk before walking up to her and wrapping an arm around Kanaya's neck.
"I hope I never have top see the day when the student surpasses the master," Rose whispered nose to nose with Kanaya.
"You have morning breath dear," Kanaya replied.
"So do you," Rose stated before moving for a kiss.
"Gross," Vriska stated watching the two classy women make out in the kitchen.
Rose pulled away from Kanaya to observe their new guest. After a silent moment Rose asked, "Well Vriska Serket, what pleasure do you give us by gracing us with your presence in our home?"
"I just came back from the dead," Vriska informed Rose.
"Apparently," Rose replied taking a moment to look over Vriska in her current living state. "Well I am glad to see that we are not recreating every zombie cliché known to mankind, but that wasn't the question. More simply, why are you here?"
"I woke up on your lawn," Vriska answered.
"But how did you know that in this house Kanaya and I reside?" Rose continued to try and pull the truth from Vriska.
"I guessed," Vriska replied.
Rose was silent before stating, "I will pull the answer out of you later, but we can have breakfast now."
As Rose finished her sentence, as though on cue the phone began to ring. Rose walked over to the charging station to see who was on the phone and a frown drew across her face.
"It is just my brother," Rose stated. "Let it ring."
Kanaya then started to prepare the table for breakfast as Rose waited for the phone to stop ringing so she could listen to the message Dave would leave her. Vriska was not sure what to do, but she was curious about what the ironic Dave Strider had to say so she stayed in her seat.
With the beep from the answering machine, Dave left his message.
"Yo Rose," Dave began. "Stop snogging your alien wife and answer. I have important business to arrange with you."
When Dave stopped Rose picked up the phone and answered it, but put it on speaker.
"Yes brother?" Rose replied. "What makes you chose and word from an opposite culture of ours to explain an activity my wife and I may or may not have been involved in?"
"Because I started using it last night and Karkat has gotten all angry because he doesn't know what it means," Dave replied.
"So what do you need of me?" Rose asked.
"You know how you're famous and everything with all your books and shit?" Dave asked.
"Actually Dave, I had no idea that I was a world famous author selling thousands of books every hour, in where my books need to be restocked at the end of every day because they fly off the shelves at record speeds. I was clueless for all this time and you just showed me the light. Thank-you Dave," Rose retorted.
"Yeah well it's a surprise to me too," Dave went along with the charade Rose had set up. "I just found out this morning and I'm pretty shocked too. But that isn't the point."
"Then what is the point David?" Rose asked.
"I want you to read to the kids at Day Care," Dave replied, long ago not bothering to fight against the notion that his full name was David because long ago it was revealed that his full name was really David.
"I hardly think that my books are appropriated reading material for kids that age Dave," Rose answered.
"No, I want you to read Dr. Seuss," Dave started to explain. "You can come in at any random time aside from nap time, I hand you the Seuss book and you begin to read. Once you're done you can leave and pretend like that never happened. Unless I accidentally call the new station so they can get live footage of Rosemary Lalonde performing charity service by reading to little kids."
"I regret every telling you my full name," Rose stated.
"I learned it at your wedding," Dave informed Rose.
"I regret ever inviting you to my wedding then," Rose corrected her statement.
"Ouch, you go back on inviting your own brother to your wedding?" Dave began a rant. "What next, you aren't going to invite me to the birth of your first child? You aren't going to invite me to their first birthday? Christmas? I can't even trust you because you might not invite me to the next dinner. Just you Kanaya and Karkat sitting there in an awkward silence with me there to spice up your dinner. I'm quiet appalled Rose. Not inviting your own brother to your wedding. How dare you go back on regretting you inviting me to the happiest day of your life?"
"Well Dave, you did end up hijacking the set play list and turning the wedding into a Strider rap fest before Jade threatened to go Grimbark on you again," Kanaya reminded Dave.
"I still am amazed that Jade was the one to do that and not I," Rose added.
"We were somewhat busy being forced to take more wedding photos than we could ever need to commemorate the momentous and joyful occasion," Kanaya reminded Rose.
"Wow you're there Kanaya?" Dave asked.
"Yes," Kanaya replied having returned to the kitchen after setting the dinning up for breakfast.
"Now listen here Kanaya," Dave began. "Do you think that Rose should read Dr. Seuss to the kids at Day Care?"
"My opinion does not matter in this," Kanaya carefully drew out of the conversation.
"Come on Rose," Dave tried to persuade Rose.
"Will you leave me alone if I read one story to your Day Care patrons?" Rose asked her brother.
"For now," Dave replied.
"I will," Rose agreed.
"Awesome, Monday, one o'clock," Dave gave Rose the time before hanging up.
"What just happened?" Vriska asked having not heard a Strider-Lalonde conversation before.
"I was just having a lovely conversation with my dear ectobiological brother," Rose informed Vriska.
"That didn't sound like that," Vriska told Rose. "And there seems to be a lot for me to catch up on."
"Well then let us catch up over breakfast," Kanaya stated. "We do not want our food to become cold."
They all went to sat down at the table but no catching up was held. Instead, it was just an awkward silence of chewing food and Rose occasionally asking small questions of Vriska to try and piece together the puzzle of how she ended up here. Vriska didn't answer so Rose decided upon small talk to make Vriska feel uncomfortable. Once they were done, Rose helped Kanaya with the dishes while they turned on the TV in the living room for Vriska to watch. Vriska was surfing channels until she ended up on an episode of Spongebob because they were searching for treasure and acting like pirates.
Once breakfast was done, Rose and Kanaya both took turns getting dressed so they could always keep one eye on Vriska. After that, they began to make plans for the day in the kitchen where they could keep an eye on Vriska.
"So someone needs to go and distribute the leftover breakfast items to the homeless before it goes bad," Kanaya added to the list for the day.
"You can go do that," Rose offered. "I'd rather stay here and try to draw answers out of Vriska rather than step outside in this cold weather."
"But I do not want to put you in an uncomfortable position. You barely know Vriska," Kanaya added.
"Then I shall make good use of the time that you are gone and get to know Vriska. Maybe I will turn on more Spongebob for her so she can entertain herself," Rose replied. "It's not a bother Kanaya."
"Well, while I am out do you mind if I stop at Dave and Karkat's?" Kanaya asked.
"Of course not," Rose answered. "Now, let me help you load the food into the car."
"But just one question before I leave," Kanaya paused. "Dave mentioned 'snogging' earlier when you were conversing with him on the phone. What does 'snogging' mean?"
"It's a simple concept," Rose said without adding anything else. She the picked up a stack of containers and started to walk out the door without answering Kanaya's question. Kanaya often disliked it when Rose did this, but it was apart of their own passive-aggressive fight.
After the two classy ladies moved the packaged breakfast leftovers to Kanaya's car, Kanaya bid adieu and delivered the local homeless a meal. After that, she pulled up into the driveway of Dave and Karkat's home. Dave's red 2014 Audi RB (which he liked to brag about) was in the driveway along with Karkat's own car (he had no idea what type of style his car was, just like Kanaya) so both of them were home, along with Terezi most likely. She was not able to obtain her driver's license because of her lack of sight.
Kanaya got out of the car and walked up to the door. She was about to ring the doorbell but then Dave opened the door. Kanaya never figured out the mystery of how Dave would know that a person was arriving unannounced. Sometimes he would even put out a welcome sign for the unannounced guest.
"Wow Kanaya, nice to see you," Dave said as the door swung open. "Come in. Karkat was just making lunch."
"Well in that case I do not think that you will need these leftovers from breakfast," Kanaya stated as she handed the last container to Dave.
"I'll eat these for dinner," Dave replied as he left Kanaya in the small foyer trapped being an interception between the kitchen and the living room along with the fact that there was a small closet overflowing with coats and shoes. Kanaya hung her coat on the coat rack provided for guests who did not feel like struggling to push their coat into the closet before following Dave into the kitchen.
In the Strider-Vantas kitchen, Karkat was busy making lunch because Dave could not cook (a trait shared with his twin Rose) and Terezi could not be trusted with food. Terezi was sitting at the small table snug in the corner of the room licking a newspaper while the Mayor sitting next to her was scribbling on a sheet of printer paper. A small TV was placed on a stand behind was on a news channel. Dave was putting the leftovers Kanaya gave him into the fridges and hand to maneuver around Karkat in the cramped kitchen. He was forced to spill over into the hallway that leads to the three main bedrooms and the bathroom.
"Hey Kanaya!" Terezi greeted Kanaya first.
"Hey," Karkat mumbled his greeting as he was finishing making a sandwich. "You want lunch Kanaya?"
"Why not?" Kanaya replied happy to have lunch after running around all morning. Kanaya then went to sit in the chair that was closest to the steps that lead down to the landing that was the intersection between the stairs to the basement, the side door, and a small pantry.
"So what brings you here Kanaya?" Dave asked as he closed the fridge. He had a bottle of apple juice and can of Tab in hand. He handed the Tab to the Mayor who excitedly opened it and drank it down quickly. Dave then sat down next to Kanaya and opened the apple juice for himself.
"I have some news," Kanaya began. "Vriska is back from the dead."
"What?!" Terezi asked surprised. "She's back from the dead?!"
"Aradia did warn us about this after we got settled in this new place," Karkat reminded Terezi as he placed a sandwich under her nose. He also placed a sandwich in front of the Mayor and Dave before turning back to the counter to make a sandwich for himself and Kanaya.
"Oh right," Terezi remembered.
"So you left Rose alone with Vriska?" Dave asked.
"Rose insisted on it," Kanaya added.
"Well now what?" Karkat asked as he handed a sandwich to Kanaya. He leaned back against the counter because there was no more room at the small table for himself. "We just can't let that fucksquatting nookscratching scumbag stay at your place and act like a freeloader."
"Yes, I have been pondering that myself," Kanaya agreed.
"Send her to John's," Dave pointed out. "Wasn't Vriska John's patron troll? They can freak out about shitty movies together."
"Well Jade might not like having a pirate troll at her house," Karkat pointed out.
"I thought Jade moved out of John's house into an apartment?" Terezi asked.
"I don't know," Karkat grumbled.
"Well, we can figure this out later after speaking to Vriska about her housing situation," Kanaya replied. "But Karkat, I was wondering if I could speak to you in private?"
"Of course," Karkat agreed. He grabbed his sandwich and began to walk towards the staircase. Kanaya got up from her seat and followed suit by grabbing her sandwich and heading to the stairs hidden behind a small half-wall to keep the people in the kitchen from falling down the hole.
The moirails descended down the stairs into the large basement. Downstairs, there was a sectional along with a large TV mounted on a wall in the center of the room. Next to the sectional in the corner near the staircase was a pile made up of old clothes and blankets perfect for feeling jams. On the other side of the room was a large desk covered with paper work, used by both Dave and Karkat. A door was on the same wall as the desk perpendicular to the TV that lead to Terezi's messy room. Across from the desk was a small hallway that leads to the laundry room, a second bathroom, and the Mayor's own room, and the resident CanTown.
Karkat and Kanaya moved to the pile in the corner for a quick feelings jam. Karkat had almost moved the horn pile from the Meteor to their basement but Dave insisted on using something more comfortable and wouldn't freak either of them out when someone stepped on a stray horn. Dave himself organized the pile with old blankets, pillows, clothes, coats, scarves, comforters, and sheets. It was the most comfortable pile any of the trolls had ever seen.
"So what's the matter?" Karkat asked taking a bite out of his sandwich.
"I'm mostly just upset by Vriska's return and the harm that she could do to the fragile world we've set up for ourselves," Kanaya expressed her concerns before taking a bite of her own sandwich.
"I can see that," Karkat agreed before swallowing the piece of sandwich he was chewing. "She was your former moirail and you had a crush on her but you've moved far on. You've filled both of those quadrants. And now she's in your house. But as Dave said, we can send her packing to John's and he can knock sense into her if need be. I don't think that that douchefucking shitpuppet nooksuck will mind having a crazy spider bitch in his house."
"Right," Kanaya agreed after swallowing the piece of sandwich she bit off. "It is an easy solution when you think about it. But there's one more thing. Did you tell Dave about our previous conversation?"
"Kanaya, I promise you I did not," Karkat promised.
"Then what about the call Rose received this morning?" Kanaya asked.
"Dave has security cameras everywhere," Karkat sighed. "He thinks it's a good idea in case some shitdicking assfucking ugly douchecrumpet decides to break into the home of two police officers, a ninja who owns a day care, and the mayor of a fictious city that launches cans at your head. I really think that he just has them because he's nosy. He won't admit it though."
"He really has security cameras everywhere?" Kanaya asked in disbelief.
"He hides them," Karkat replied. "He bought the insufferable fuckbagging pieces of machinery with the money his Bro left him. They're all state of the art and hidden."
"Makes sense now," Kanaya said after thinking the idea over. "It is a clever idea though."
"Yeah," Karkat agreed. "But I think Dave was actually thinking about asking Rose to read to the kids at Day Care before our talk. He likes to get other people to do that kind of shit so he can have a break."
"Alright, thank-you for the talk Karkat," Kanaya said as Karkat stood up. Karkat then held out his hand for Kanaya to grasp so she could help him up.
"No problem," Karkat replied. The moirails then walked upstairs back into the kitchen and found that everyone had already dispersed. Kanaya walked into the very small corner called the foyer and pulled her coat on and saw that Terezi, Dave and Mayor had all gathered around the TV in the living room to play on Dave's Xbox.
"Drive safe," Karkat told Kanaya as she opened the door.
"I will," Kanaya answered as she walked out the door and closed it behind her.
Once Kanaya had left, Karkat walked into the living where Terezi, Dave and the Mayor were all playing Xbox.
The living room was a large open room with a couch on one wall and two recliners on the other with a side table in the middle. There was an open space in the corner that no one knew what to do with. No matter how the furniture was moved, the space was always there. In the corner near foyer there was a cabinet filled will useless things like papers, pens, mints and candy-canes left over from Christmas 2012. There was also a small table covered with picture frames filled with pictures taken by Dave himself. There was a large window on the wall between on the recliners and the TV, which was tucked into the corner made by the closet on the other side. Dave, Terezi and the Mayor had all pulled beanbag chairs out of the spare bedroom so they could sit back as they gamed away.
"Dave," Karkat announced. "I need to talk to you."
"On second I have to kill Darth Vader," Dave announced.
"This isn't even a Star Wars game," Karkat sighed.
"But its Disney Freeplay," Terezi retorted.
"This is a really stupid game," Karkat sighed.
"I know you like it," Dave replied. "You were digging it that last time we made you play. I saw you enjoying being Wolverine fighting alongside Else, Stitch and Mulan."
"Why were you Elsa?" Karkat asked Dave in exasperation.
"Because sometimes I just like to let it go," Dave answered.
"Don't question the Disney Freeplay Karkat!" Terezi replied.
"And why are you Stitch? And the Mayor Mulan?" Karkat continued to ask questions.
"Because Stitch smells delicious," Terezi replied. They didn't let her lick the screens of the TV so she had to do with smelling from afar.
"And Mulan is cool dude. The Mayor just likes to kick people's ass," Dave answered for the Mayor.
Karkat sighed before returning the former subject, "Dave, I need to talk to you. Immediately"
"Dude one more minute," Dave pleaded.
"Now," Karkat demanded.
"Fine," Dave sighed. He paused the game and got up off the bean bag chair. They went into the back hallway where the three bedrooms were before entering the spare bedroom.
There were three bedrooms upstairs in the Strider-Vantas home: the guest bedroom, the spare bedroom, and the master bedroom. The guest bedroom was the bedroom closets to the living room and the bedroom no one knew what to do with so Karkat declared that it was a guest bedroom because Terezi wanted to live downstairs. Karkat was thinking about turning it into an office, but no attempt had been made at completing this goal so Karkat ended up having to go in there and dust once a week. The master bedroom was at the other end of the hall near kitchen. It was Dave and Karkat's bedroom but it seemed to be only used in the morning and the evening.
The spare bedroom was the smallest bedroom and was stuffed in between the guest bedroom and the master bedroom. It was a sliver of a room but it had many purposes. It was used as a quiet place residents in the house could escape too when things were too hectic. It was also a spare storage room for things used often so residents did not have to walk downstairs to the laundry room to grab supplies.
The spare bedroom was made up of a bed pushed against one wall and a small TV on a small table across the room. That made a small pathway to get to the back where there was a small desk and a closet filled with extra clothes and boxes of items from the Meteor that no one knew what to do with. In the corner in between the desk and the bed, there was a floor lamp and a beanbag chair. That was the place that Dave decided to stuff the beanbag chairs: around the base of the lamp. Dave's collection of swords hung proudly above the small TV gleaming as though they were just polished. Sunlight streamed through a small window above the desk peering out into the small backyard lighting up the room.
"So what's up Karkat?" Dave asked as he hopped up onto the bed in the room. The bed was really tall but that was because Dave placed the bed posts onto cinderblocks (it ain't home without cinderblocks, Dave would say) so he could stuff long boxes filled with his childhood memories underneath. He would like to pull the boxes out from time to time to be filled with childhood nostalgia that Karkat didn't understand. He was just happen he found a bed skirt long enough that covered the ugly cinderblocks.
"Why must you be so nosy?" Karkat asked. "You're a shameful ass-shitting shame douchecrumpet with your hidden dumbshit cameras invading my privacy and Kanaya's privacy!"
"Sorry," Dave sat up. "But I think that it was a good idea on my part. All the kids love Dr. Seuss. And as you said, you love reading to the kids even though you won't admit it."
Karkat growled glaring at Dave.
"Hey, we'll just see how this turns out," Dave continued on. "It's not like any of us are dumb enough to tell her the real reason behind the reading. And it's just between me, you, and Kanaya."
"But it's only supposed to be between me and Kanaya," Karkat growled.
"Too late for that," Dave put away. "But hey, are you okay with Vriska coming back to life?"
"Yes, of course I am. Why would that matter? Vriska is just a fuckwhiffing insufferable shitstain!" Karkat replied.
"I don't its just that you're moirails now and Kanaya and Vriska were moirails," Dave continued on.
"Look, Vriska has been dead for twelve human years! Everyone is so far past Vriska we're on the other side of the douchey nookscratching shitting fuck mountain of incredible stupidity!" Karkat yelled.
"I'm pretty sure you're jealous," Dave continued.
Karkat let out a scream of frustration. When he was done he looked back at Dave who had a little half-smile on his face.
"What are you smiling at you horseshitting nooksuck?" Karkat demanded.
"Well, I was thinking that you needed to loosen up," Dave replied.
"What?" Karkat asked confused.
Dave then launched forward off the bed before dragging him back to the bed stuffed in the corner. Karkat could not retaliate or scream curses before Dave's hands shot up underneath his shirt and began to tickle the raw skin left over from when he lost his grub legs. The raw skin on the sides of a troll's body was one of three places where trolls were ticklish. The other two places consisted of the back of the neck and the base of the horns (but not the horns themselves).
As Dave's fingers quickly ran across Karkat's raw skin Karkat couldn't help but start to laugh as he hunched over to try and fight against the tickling. Dave began to laugh as well as Karkat was forced to have a smile painted on his face before Karkat jabbed his elbow into Dave's side. The jolt made Dave's sunglasses fall off as both of the men's laughter began to fade away, though a smile was still painted on both of their faces.
"Ah Strider," Karkat sighed turning over so he was laying on Dave face-up. Without Dave's sunglasses on his face, Karkat could say that Dave looked considerably cuter. Dave's cheeks were speckled with freckles and a few small scars leftover from battles in the past. Looking into Dave's eyes always made Karkat fell as though he was not alone in the universe and Karkat could spend hours just staring at them. But not now. Revenge was at hand, "You just brought a world of pain on yourself."
Unlike Karkat who was only ticklish in three places, Dave was ticklish everywhere. So Karkat just had to choose one place to lightly run his fingers over and Dave would be laughing. The only bad part was that Dave was a thrasher so Karkat had to be at a safe distant so he didn't receive a foot in the face.
Karkat began to run his fingers over Dave's stomach and the Knight of Time began to laugh. As his laughter picked up to a hyena cackle Dave's limbs flung wildly in an attempt top push Karkat away. Luckily though, Karkat had years of experience so he was able to dodge Dave's flying limbs.
"Come on babe!" Dave gasped in between laughs. "Sorry! Sorry!"
Karkat finally stopped seeing that Dave was winded after laughing so hard. Dave caught his breath and looked at Karkat who was kneeling on the bed next to him with a proud look on his face. Dave leaned up to wrap his arms around the small troll before pulling him back down next to him.
"Sorry for stooping into your privacy," Dave apologized. "And tickling you. I won't do it again. Well, I mean I won't put my head into your privacy where I don't belong. I will still tickle you in the future when you're being a major grump."
"Sorry for yelling at you," Karkat mumbled into Dave's shoulder.
"It's alright," Dave replied kissing Karkat's forehead. "It was my fault anyway."
"It was," Karkat agreed.
"Let's not get up," Dave proposed.
"Alright," Karkat agreed again. "But Dave."
"What?" Dave replied.
"What's snogging?" Karkat asked. He wasn't able to find out what it is ever since Dave began to use this word since last night. He was sure Dave had made it up but then he used it while he was talking to Rose on the phone earlier and she seemed to understand it.
"It's a simple concept," Dave replied before kissing Karkat again. Dave didn't add anything else so Karkat wasn't going to get anymore to that answer.
While Dave and Karkat were being stupid boyfriends, Kanaya had returned home to find that Rose was already having a drink while Vriska was surfing the TV channels again.
"That better be your first one," Kanaya said as she came through the door to find Rose slowly sipping out of a wine glass.
"It is," Rose replied. "Now how did you deal with Vriska when you were young?"
"It's a secret dear," Kanaya replied taking the bottle of wine and placing it back into the wine cellar. Though before she did, she had to pause, "Rose, I thought only I had the key to the wine cellar."
"Yes well, I have magic," Rose reminded Kanaya.
Kanaya sighed before sitting back across from Rose, "So I talked to Dave, Karkat and Terezi. They suggested sending Vriska to John's."
"Wise decision," Rose agreed. "I will have to go and call John to see if he can accommodate her."
"Hey fussyfangs!" Vriska greeted Kanaya as she entered the kitchen. "Where were you?"
"I was over at Dave and Karkat's," Kanaya replied.
"Karkat's living with Dave?" Vriska asked confused.
"Yes," Rose replied. "They have been dating for eight years. Terezi lives with them because Dave is her moirail."
"I would have never thought that Karkat would get together with that proclaimed coolkid," Vriska commented. "So where's John and Jade?"
"John is living in a house in the same neighborhood as Karkat and Dave," Kanaya explained. "Jade has moved to a pet-friendly apartment near here."
"Cool, so where am I going to stay?" Vriska then asked. "Because no offense, but this place isn't my style. Too fancy."
Kanaya and Rose were both relived to hear that Vriska was not planning on staying with them.
"Well we were thinking about calling John to see if he could provide you accommodations," Rose informed Kanaya.
"Cool," Vriska agreed with that plan. "I'm gonna go back and watch human TV. It's actually pretty good for a primitive species."
Vriska left the room and Rose and Kanaya turned to each other.
"I'll go call John right now," Rose got up from her seat and left the room to go call John in her office. She left behind a half a glass of wine which Kanaya took the time to pour down the drain. When Rose returned a few minutes later, she announced, "John would be happy to have Vriska living with him for the time being."
"Wonderful," Kanaya agreed.
"He'll be over in a few minutes," Rose added. "Where's my glass of wine?"
"It may have been poured down the drain or maybe it grew wings and flew away," Kanaya suggested.
Rose smirked and went into the living room to tell Vriska the good news. As Rose said, in only a few minutes John's used car was pulling into the driveway. As John hopped out of his car, Kanaya opened the door for him to come in.
"Hi Kanaya! Hi Rose! Where's Vriska?" John greeted the ladies as he came into the mansion.
"Hey John!" Vriska greeted John as she stepped into the foyer.
"Vriska!" John greeted the spider troll with a hug. "I haven't seen you in so long!"
"That's because I've been dead idiot," Vriska reminded John.
"Oh right, sorry," John sheepishly apologized. "Do you have everything?"
"Yes, because I have nothing," Vriska informed John.
"Oh, right, sorry again," John apologized a second time. "Well I can take you shopping at the Target near my house."
"Cool," Vriska agreed. "But, what's a Target?"
"You'll see," John replied.
"You two better get going if you have to outfit Vriska with worldly possessions," Rose informed John.
"Right," John agreed. "Well, we'll see you guys later! Come on Vriska!"
As John walked out the door Vriska turned to Rose and Kanaya, "See you two later!"
Vriska left the house and walked up to John's car. Kanaya and Rose watched as they drove away off to Target from the kitchen window. Once they were out of sight, Rose turned to Kanaya and stated, "That was surprisingly easy."
"Agreed," Kanaya replied confused at Vriska's easiness for once.
"But now that Vriska is out of our hair," Rose began. "How about we make up for the time you lost in bed because of our unexpected guest?"
Kanaya smiled and replied, "That sounds wonderful."