**Author's Note: This is something I thought up a while back after a sci fi/fantasy convention at my college (I got to meet Tracy Hickman!! *grin*) It's actually based on a relatively established filk song, "You Bash the Balrog" (if you poke around on the Internet, you can probably find the lyrics without too much difficulty, and the song is somewhat funnier if you know them.) It is, I believe, sung to the tune of "Waltzing Matilda" Anyway, the refrain, obviously, is in direct parody, and so are verses 1, 3, and 5. Unfortunately (in typical me fashion) I only got through "Time of the Twins" and one verse of "War" (and it's not even the next verse, it's in the middle of the book...) It obviously needs some work and I may touch it up and add some more verses if I get the inspiration. But for now, for your reading pleasure, presenting:
P"You Bash the Black-robe"/P
Pby LadyLupin aka Lunara/P
POnce a lovely cleric and a magic-using ElfBR
And a hulking warrior with a sword plus threeBR
Conspired against a mage who wanted God-hood for himselfBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PThe lady named Crysania, who thought Raistlin was a hunkBR
Thought she'd get help from the Conclave or in Solace in the treesBR
But the Elf was his apprentice and the warrior was a drunkBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PFirst they met a Death Knight who was cursed for passion's sakeBR
He hacked and he slashed and he trounced them with gleeBR
And he couldn't Kill Crysania, but neither would she wakeBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PThe Conclave sent a spy to closely watch and tell the restBR
What went on in the Palanthas Tower of High SorceryBR
But Dalamar came back with five holes burned into his chestBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PA doorknob of a kender found a ring and put it onBR
Changed into a mouse immediatelyBR
Went back in time to Istar with his buddy CaramonBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PThe warrior said, "We're going to kill that evil lich tonight"BR
But before he did, his victim's face he had to seeBR
He recognized the face, it gave him one hell of a frightBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PAll the clerics true high-tailed it out except for Lady CrysBR
While the Kingpriest made his demands, quite hubristicallyBR
A fiery mountain struck and sent Tas to the AbyssBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
~*~P
PThe warrior was suspicious, and the mage was in a snitBR
Because he could not change the course of historyBR
While the elf was getting friendly with their older sister KitBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
P"You Bash the Black-robe"/P
Pby LadyLupin aka Lunara/P
POnce a lovely cleric and a magic-using ElfBR
And a hulking warrior with a sword plus threeBR
Conspired against a mage who wanted God-hood for himselfBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PThe lady named Crysania, who thought Raistlin was a hunkBR
Thought she'd get help from the Conclave or in Solace in the treesBR
But the Elf was his apprentice and the warrior was a drunkBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PFirst they met a Death Knight who was cursed for passion's sakeBR
He hacked and he slashed and he trounced them with gleeBR
And he couldn't Kill Crysania, but neither would she wakeBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PThe Conclave sent a spy to closely watch and tell the restBR
What went on in the Palanthas Tower of High SorceryBR
But Dalamar came back with five holes burned into his chestBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PA doorknob of a kender found a ring and put it onBR
Changed into a mouse immediatelyBR
Went back in time to Istar with his buddy CaramonBR
You bash the Black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PThe warrior said, "We're going to kill that evil lich tonight"BR
But before he did, his victim's face he had to seeBR
He recognized the face, it gave him one hell of a frightBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
PAll the clerics true high-tailed it out except for Lady CrysBR
While the Kingpriest made his demands, quite hubristicallyBR
A fiery mountain struck and sent Tas to the AbyssBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P
~*~P
PThe warrior was suspicious, and the mage was in a snitBR
Because he could not change the course of historyBR
While the elf was getting friendly with their older sister KitBR
You bash the black-robe and he'll fall for me./P