Disclaimer: I do not own any familiar characters/settings/plot featured in this story. They belong the Peter Jackson and Lord J.R.R. Tolkien and I hope he forgives me.
Chapter 1
No one is certain where death awaits them. They often wonder if it's the promising peaceful nothingness or if it's the deep abyss of all their fears in one? Perhaps it's the constant replay of the past memories, from their first step into the world till their last breath drawn.
Does those who have done good reborn as an elf or those who've done wrong an orc? Or perhaps none of these are true and in fact the certainty of it all is that death is simply the end, leaving nothing but the remains of the flesh and bone.
What if one regrets the outcome of their lifetime, wanting nothing more than to be given a second chance to right the wrongs?
These are the questions running through Bilbo Baggins' mind as his eyes gazed out onto the vast blue water of the Grey Havens. His hand shook as he bought it up to enclosed around the beads hanging from the string around his neck. Gripping it gently, he leaned back, letting the slight breeze caress his face as he sung softly.
"...that's what Bilbo Baggins hates..."
The soft tunes brought him at ease, his mind wandered deep into old memories, making his eyes glisten with emotions.
The boat swayed gently as it made its way toward Valinor, the Undying lands, leaving behind the memories of what was once called home.
Perhaps it was the soft waves that was hitting the boat or maybe even the slight breeze that circled around him; Bilbo found himself slowly dozing off, his eyes closing as he let out soft airy snores.
"Do you regret it?"
Bilbo's eyes snapped open, widening as he searched for the source of the voice. Unlike the dark whispers that tormented him through the years he was carrying the ring, this voice, a more gentle sound brings a peaceful presence around him. Yet as he turned his head around, his gaze was met with no one.
He let out a small laugh before shaking his head lightly. "You're acting like a fool, Bilbo Baggins."
Turning back around, he looked over to his right, his eyes softening at the sight. He smiled at the gentle laugh emitting from Frodo as the young hobbit conversed lightly with Gandalf, who was smiling at ease.
They deserved to be here...they've earned it. He thought as he eased himself back into his comfortable seat.
It had been so long since the two had looked with such content on their faces. It washed joy over Bilbo, reminding him of a peaceful day in Bag End. Bilbo was pleased to just stare at his oldest friend and lovely nephew, he didn't even notice that the two had stopped talking and were simply looking at him with slight confusion in their eyes.
"Bilbo my dear friend," Gandalf said softly, clasping his hand on the older hobbit's shoulder gently.
The hobbit jumped at the sudden contact before relaxing into the touch with a smile. "What is it Gandalf?"
The wizard smiled and pulled his hand back. "A question that I was about to ask myself." he looked over at Frodo who gave the wizard a small nod. The hobbit inched his way closer to his uncle and took both worn older hands into his softer ones.
"Uncle Bilbo is something on your mind?" asked the hobbit as his brows creased with worry.
Bilbo smiled as he gently pulled out one hand from Frodo's grip before laying it on top of the boy's hands, giving it a small squeeze. "All at ease my boy. I am simply preserving a bit more memory into this old worn head of mine before I can't anymore."
Bilbo could see the boy's tenseness melt away as his shoulders sagged and a small smile replaced the worried expression he had had just moments ago. "Now that's just crazy talk," he said quietly, reaching over and brushing a piece of hair out of Bilbo's eye. "You have plenty of time," he assured him.
The older hobbit chuckled, giving the hand under him a final squeeze before pulling away. "It pains me to say this Frodo but I am not so young anymore," he admitted. "Time is not a luxury I still have."
"Stop that," Frodo scolded, shaking his head with a frown, "You're going to be around much longer than this. I know it." Reaching over, he squeezes Bilbo's shoulder gently. "You just have to believe in it yourself."
The corner of Bilbo's mouth quirked up into a small smile. He can always count on the young boy to say the most amazing thing even if he knows it's not true. He hummed in reply, but made no tendency to say anything else.
Frodo looked like he was about to object but a hand on his shoulder silenced him before he could speak.
Gandalf's face was rid of any emotion, but the look in his eyes spoke otherwise.
"Frodo," he said, his eyes never leaving Bilbo's. "Why don't you speak with Lord Elrond for a bit?"
Frodo turned to his uncle in protest, eyeing the other with deep concern. The tighten of Gandalf's hand on his shoulder stopped him from speaking. Frodo sighed in defeat and gave a curt nod. "Alright." he send his uncle one last comforting smile before getting up, making his way to the front of the boat where the elf was.
Bilbo watched as Frodo walked over to Elrond, a little tap on the tall elf's back had him turned, and a smile bloomed on his face as he spotted the hobbit. Lady Galadriel who was next to Elrond also turned and smiled warmly at Frodo. Before he knew it, the trio was already deep in conversations; quiet laughter could be heard coming from their direction.
Bilbo's own chuckles were cut short when Gandalf finally spoke. "Bilbo."
The hobbit sighed, waving a lazy hand in front of the wizard. "Alright Gandalf, I know what you're thinking."
"Oh? And what would I be thinking about?" The wizard asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.
Bilbo looked at his friend and groaned. "You must think I'm a fool."
Gandalf's face softened at that, his previous teasing demeanor changed into a more understanding one as he lowered himself next to the hobbit. "Bilbo Baggins," he begun, "You are of many things but I can assure you, you are not a fool," he concluded with certainty. "But perhaps, that is not what is truly on your mind, is it?"
"I-" he sighed loudly, burying his face into his hands in frustration. "Me being here is a mistake." he murmured.
Gandalf's eyes sadden at the statement. The posture of the hobbit in front of him was one of shame and it pains him to watch his friend being so tormented with guilt he clearly thought he deserved.
"Oh Bilbo," he said gently, tightening the grip on his staff to steady himself. "This is no mistake. You are aboard on this boat because of the heroic things that you've done and anyone on this boat can agree with the words I'm saying."
Bilbo barked out a bitter laugh as he looked up, his face twisted in disgust. "I am no hero. I never was and I never will be." he lowered his gaze and continued in a softer tone. "I'm not like you, Gandalf. Your loyalty toward all of middle-earth, man-kind to dwarves to us hobbits, you Gandalf, is a hero."
The wizard's face was a look of grief and even though he was being praised, he felt nothing but cold dread washing over him as Bilbo continued to speak.
The hobbit looked back up, his gaze slowly turned toward Frodo as he beamed proudly. "Frodo, my brave Frodo...his courage and determination saved us all. He is a hero."
Swallowing, his face grimaced. "For him to bear that ring was a burden," he shifted and brought his hands together, clasping them tightly to stop the trembling. "A burden he didn't have to carry if it wasn't for my foolishness." he cast Gandalf a distressed look as his lips began to quiver. "So you see Gandalf, you both have every right to be here. But for me, I think that the title coward would be more fitted."
Gandalf's eyes widened. His mouth opened in dismay. "Bilbo Baggins!" he exclaimed incredulously as he brought his staff down on the ground with a loud thump. "What in Eru's name made you say such things? Have you forgotten about the things you have done? Have you forgotten about the company? You were the one who brought everyone together! You helped reclaim Ereb—"
"Stop!" Bilbo snapped, his face stricken as he tightly gripped the beads around his neck again. His chest ached just from holding onto those beads; but as painful as it was to hold them, it would be equally as painful if they weren't there.
It's the only keepsake I have left of them. He thought as he clenched his eyes to will away the tears that threatened to fall.
"There's not a day that goes by that I have forgotten," he gritted out, the pent up frustration dying to be let out. "What I do remember," he begun with a shaky breath, "Was me, standing idly by as the people I cared about died. What I do remember was how I, their friend, betrayed them by stealing their most prized possession."
The shaking in his hand had increased around the beads and he had to force himself to relax so he wouldn't ruin them. He ignored the pain from the bead that was digging into the skin of his palm, but he could do nothing as the tears finally fell.
"I couldn't even say goodbye," he whispered, "I couldn't even be there at their last moment. I-" he shook his head as he brought his hand up to muffle his sobs. "I can never forgive myself for that."
Gandalf was devastated. The moment he saw the tears fall his heart broke and all he could do was watch in deep sorrow. What was there for him to do? He's merely a wizard. He can't bring the dead back to life. No one can.
Bilbo was trying so hard not to mourn. For the past eighty years, it was all he was trying to do. The moment he would allow his mind to wander he knew he was going to think about that day. That day, where all he could see were corpses and all he could hear were the loud cries of war and death. The stench of the battle still lingered on the clothing he was wearing and although it was his favorite, he had to be rid of it.
What's the point in this sorrow, Bilbo? No matter how much you cry or how hard you wish, the past is the past. There is no going back. He chuckled bitterly.
"Perhaps there is."
There it was again. That voice. The soft breeze that caressed him, he was sure his mind was playing tricks on him again.
"This is not a trick, Bilbo Baggins."
His eyes widen as he looks around frantically to see who was indeed talking to him, but he was met with no one yet again. "Who-?"
"Do you wish for a second chance?"
Gandalf looked at the bewilderment on the hobbit's face in confusion. He leaned in and asked softly. "Is all well, Bilbo?"
Bilbo nodded slowly but his focus was still on the voice. What do you mean? He thought, not wanting to speak out loud again.
"A second chance. To change things."
He frowned. Ha, I've gone mad. You're certainly not real. I'm hearing voices in my head. He thought, physically shaking his head. For a moment Bilbo thought the voice had stopped from the silence. He was about to relax but then he felt it again. The soft caress as the voice spoke once more.
"Perhaps I am just voices in your head or maybe I'm something else. I simply asked you a question, which you have yet to answer."
Bilbo rolled his eyes and scoffed. What does it matter? It changes nothing for what I desire is unobtainable. You can't give me what I want.
"Are you certain Bilbo Baggins? You might be surprise in what I am capable of. I might be able to grant what you desire."
He chuckled bitterly in his head. Unless you have the power to turn back time...to simply just give me a chance to change things...you can't help me.
"How do you know you can change what fate had set out?"
I don't. He interjected. Doesn't mean I won't try. Even...even if I were to die, it is something worth dying for.
"You're willing to give up your life for a chance?"
There was genuine surprise laced in the voice and Bilbo can't help but laugh at such a question. Such a question shouldn't even need asking, for the answer will always be the same, Without a doubt. He replied. Besides, what else do I have to lose that I haven't already?
"Is this truly what you desire then? A second chance?"
Bilbo closed his eyes as his breathing evened out. As he pondered upon the question, familiar laughter echoed in his mind and he swore he could even smell the familiar musk and mountain ashes from the bodies of the dwarves.
Just as quick as the laughter came, it was soon replaced by sounds of cries and screams from the same voices. The noises were so loud, Bilbo was cringing with distress. Everything suddenly stopped and that's when he saw it. The many bodies that were lying on the ground but his only attention were on them. The blond and dark haired brothers, once lively and vibrant with life are now lifeless and wasted away. Not too far from them was a body of another. Strong and powerful, the king under the mountain is now gone forever.
And that was all it took.
"Yes," he said instantly, not even caring if he had said it out loud.
There was a moment of silence before he felt a slight breeze brushing along his face.
"Granted."
Everything was still. The soft breeze was gone as if it was never there from the start. Bilbo just sat there with his eyes still closed, waiting for something to happen but all that has changed was the absence of the voice.
He laughed dryly as he shook his head. "This is ridiculous." he murmured as he slowly opened his eyes, "There is no way this is rea-" he stopped as his eyes met with Gandalf's.
What made him stop was the fact that the Gandalf standing in front of him was not his Gandalf. The face was quite the same, but the most obvious changes were the slight weariness in his old wise eyes and his hair was grey once more. On contrary to the white attire Bilbo was accustomed to, this Gandalf was wearing a long grey robe with a grey pointed hat. Even the white staff he possessed was now grey instead of white. The Gandalf standing in front of him looked as though he was the very Gandalf from all those years ag—
"What in Eru's name-"
"What is ridiculous, Master Baggins?" the wizard asked, his eyes gleamed in a merry manner.
Bilbo eyes widen as his jaw opened and closed in a fish-like manner. "G-Gandalf?"
Gandalf's brows shot up in surprised. "My, I am quite surprised. I did not expect you to remember me, for I haven't been in these parts in quite some time."
His eyes narrowed in confusion. "What? I don't understan-" then it hit him as realization sets in.
Do you wish for a second chance?
"Oh," he whispered, his eyes widened even more as he finally took in his surroundings. The green meadows of the Shire stretched far across in the distance. He was back in Bag End as well, sitting right in front of his comfortable home. He swallowed as he looked down slowly. His old pipe nested safely in his right hand while his left hand was settled on his lap. What made his breath quicken was the fact that his hands were no longer the old worn hands he got so used to seeing. It was a pair of unworn, soft looking young hands that he had once had.
"I...this...is this some sort of a cruel trick?" he murmured, his hands started to tremble.
"Trick?" Gandalf echoed. "I don't think I quite understand what you mean."
Bilbo tightened his grip on the pipe, his voice cracking. "What I mean...this is not real. It just can't be."
At this point Gandalf was beyond confused. His brows had risen so high up it almost touched his hairline. "Not real? My dear friend, are you alright? You are not making any sens-"
"Stop!" Bilbo interrupted his hand up, cutting the wizard off. "Tell me Gandalf how...can I help you?" he asked slowly.
Gandalf blinked at him, leaned back before clearing his throat. "Well, I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."
Bilbo visibly paled, his nostrils flaring as he tried to breathe through it. "Oh...not good. I...I need air," he hitched.
"My dear friend you don't look so well," Gandalf said in worry, leaning closer.
Before Bilbo could reassure the wizard that he was alright, his body swayed and the last thing he said before his vision darkened was an audible, "Nope." And he fainted.
I know I know...I am terrible for not updating on my other stories but I haven't had any inspirations therefore I'm going to leave those on hiatus for now. Now onto my new obsession, Hobbitsess and Dwarves and all of Tolkien's amazingness. So...Please Review?