"Don't worry Hayley, Dean and Dad will come around soon enough you'll see" Sam tried to reassure his 17 year old sister as he spoke to her on the phone.
Hayley had called her brother whilst staring at her computer screen, she had just received an email informing her that she had been accepted into college early and they were offering her a full scholarship.
"Like they have with you? I'm sorry Sammy, but I don't think this is going to work out, I can't leave for college."
Hayley responded with a sigh, would she love to run off to college, meet a nice guy, get a normal job and have a family of her own? Yes she would have loved to, but deep down she knew that she could never live that life and that broke her heart.
"Look I know it has been rough and I'm so sorry for leaving you there on your own with them, but I did what I had to do... If you want me to I'll come and get you" Sam asked gently, he knew how much his little sister would love to run off and join him at college, but he also knew she wouldn't.
"No Sammy I can't just leave them I-"
Sam cut her off before she could even finish trying to convince herself that she wanted to stay
"An early acceptance into college Hayley! At the age of 17…Hayz, a scholarship that is so amazing and you probably won't even tell them, they're big boys they can look after themselves"
"I'm not you Sammy…I just can't…
Hayley please, you're going to throw your life away, or get yourself killed, I can't-
Hayley quickly cut him off "They're back I'm sorry Sammy I gotta go, Love you"
Hayley quickly hung up the phone; her and Dean were under strict 'no talking to your brother ' rules. She had gotten quite good at putting on a smile when deep inside she was hurting…a lot.
John and Dean walked through the door both looking quite beat up, John was limping and Dean was holding his arm. Then there was all the blood.
"Are you guys okay? What happened to you?" They both looked like hell.
"Hayley, patch up your brother" was all she got in response as John walked into the bathroom.
Hayley just looked at Dean without asking any questions, she was used to being ignored by her father when it came to hunts; he had a one-track mind.
"Jacket…off" Hayley instructed to Dean.
"Yes ma'am"
Dean took his jacket off to reveal a large gash on his right arm.
"Well, that's going to need stitches, hang on I'll go get the first aid box", Hayley grabbed the first aid kit and then returned to Dean dreading the job that had been put before her. For some unknown reason Hayley absolutely hated stitching up her brothers, in fact she just hated stitches in general.
Dean gave her a sympathetic glance as she pulled out the needle and thread, he knew how much she hated it and if he could have reached the cut he would have done it himself. Her hands were shaking as she tried to thread the needle. As she was struggling, John came out of the bathroom looking a lot fresher than when he had gone in, he glanced at Hayley knowing full well how she would be feeling in that moment, but allowed her to struggle knowing that as a hunter, it was all just part of the job.
Dean gave Hayley's shoulder a reassuring squeeze "it's okay, you got this Hay"
She smiled and stitched his arm up trying to keep herself as calm as possible, it was actually easier than she had expected, probably because she was so fixated on her conversation with Sam…How she missed him.
Dean frowned at Hayley noticing the shift in her face, to any other person she was completely impossible to read, Hayley was always able to remain calm and cover her feelings no matter what the situation. To Dean though, she was an open book. He also knew that asking her if she was okay in front of their dad was never a good idea, instead he settled for a concerned glance. She knew in that one look exactly what he was trying to say she gave him a small smile in return.
In between their silent conversation neither Hayley nor Dean had noticed John sitting down and looking at the laptop. They were quickly ripped out of their little moment by their fathers' aggravated voice ringing through the motel.
"Hayley, what the hell is this?" He asked turning the laptop to face them.
Hayley froze unsure of how this scene would play out, she posed herself like she always did when a hard situation came up, ready to defend herself.
"What the hell Hay?" Dean asked as he pushed past her to take a better look at the email open on her computer, he was livid at the idea of her leaving the way Sam did.
"It's nothing dad, I promise" Hayley said as she walked up to the table reaching to close the laptop.
Dean swatted her hand away as he continued to read the email in front of him.
His baby sister, leaving for college.
"Don't lie to me young lady! I'm going to give you the same deal as your brother" John said as he picked up his jacket.
"Dad it's not like that it's just that-"
"If you're not here when I get back, don't you come back. If you leave, you're done with this family, you hear me. Done" with that John left the motel room slamming the door on way out.
Hayley sighed and turned to face Dean, his face writhing with anger.
"What the hell Hayley?! I can't believe you're going to ditch us, you always were just like Sam"
"Dean it's not like that, I'm not going okay" Hayley answered feeling fairly exhausted from the whole ordeal.
"Oh yeah what were you going to do just take off in the middle of the night?! Were you even going to explain yourself or were we just going to wake up and find you gone one day?!"
Dean continued to yell at his little sister, honestly he wasn't sure if he was mad that he thought she was going to leave or mad at the idea that she couldn't. He truly wished with everything he had that his siblings could live a normal life, but he knew that they couldn't.
"Dean. Stop yelling at me, I told you I'm not going anywhere. Would I like to go and see Sam and go to college, yes! Of course I would Dean, I would love to not live this crappy life moving from motel to motel driving in stuffy cars for hours on end, listening to crappy music. I would love to live a life were I don't have to stitch up my big brother because he was out fighting a freaking vampire, but this is our shitty life and I know that. Do I enjoy it, no, but do I accept it… yes…
Hayley took a deep breath
"So please STOP yelling at me."
Hayley was exhausted and still trying to convince herself that she didn't want to go to college, but who was she fooling she spent most nights dreaming about a life where she could be a mother and live without worrying her family wouldn't make it through the night, but she wasn't naïve enough to believe such a life was possible.
"Well if you hate it so much, maybe you should leave! If living with dad and I is so horrible then just pack your bags and go join Sammy! We can manage without you!"
Hayley finally felt herself starting to crack, her eyes began to well up and she fought with all she had not to let them fall.
"Dean…I'm sorry…I just…. I miss Sam and-"
Her tears slowly began to fall down, she hadn't slept properly in the four months since Sam had left and Dean knew it. She was surviving on caffeine and adrenaline. Honestly Dean was surprised she had held it together for so long.
He hung his head in defeat, knowing that he had completely overreacted.
Hayley sat down on the end of the bed trying her best to pull herself together as her big brother slowly walked over and sat down next to her.
"I know…I miss him too. I'm sorry that I yelled at you, I just couldn't imagine losing you too"
"Dean, I already told you I'm not going anywhere", Hayley said as she wiped away another tear.
Dean wrapped an arm around shoulder her and kissed her forehead, "I know nugget…I know"
"Dad is going to be so mad-"
"Hey, don't you worry about dad, you just try and get some sleep okay?"
"No…I don't want to…. the dreams…. they keep coming back" Hayley said as she shook her head against Dean's shoulder.
"I know, but you've got to try…please for me… don't worry I'll deal with dad"
Hayley nodded slowly as she crawled into the bed, Dean pulled up the covers and kissed her on the forehead. He wondered if tonight would be the night that she had a full nights sleep without nightmares. She never would tell him what they were about, but he was often woken up by the sound of her gasping like she was drowning. If drove him nuts that he couldn't fix it for her.
He watched her fall asleep slowly, dreading the conversation that would follow when their dad came back from God knows where.