Title: Bon Appetit, French Night in the Canteen

Author: Pinkcat4569

Rating: T, innuendos.

Spoilers: Season 4

Description: It's time for another Canteen World Cuisine Theme Night. Jess and Becker are a new couple. France is the perfect country to go to.

Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval or the characters. Chef Bernie Rice is mine. I don't own the fashions, movies, books, songs, or recipes.

Author Notes Galore: I took French in school a lifetime ago and I'm extremely rusty. I'm sir my attempts to give Bernie the language are laughable.

I am a fashion victim, but I thought Jess, of all people, would feel a nod to French fashion was a necessity. I believe the fashion is correct, the queen's gown is opulent and a costume anyway, and I did watch a documentary on Coco Chanel not long ago. Forgive the mime inclusion.

I do not drink. Excuse the wines if they are paired with the wrong food. My excuse is the ARC staff, even Bernie, probably does not care.

The can-can is not faithfully recreated here. It is an interpretation, as I assume some dance demonstrations are.

Forgive the song selections. Again, I am not trying to educate or faithfully recreate France.

Words: 3915, split into parts

Bon Appetit, Part One

Jess and Becker sat cuddling in the canteen.

"How are you today?" asked Bernie, chef of the ARC.

"Fine," said Jess, giggling as Becker nibbled her ear. "Stop it."

"Hey, Bernie," said Becker.

"I suppose I didn't need to ask," he said, laughing.

"Aren't they disgusting?" asked Abby, coming into the canteen with Connor.

"Hello, Abigail," said Becker.

"He spoke!" cried Connor, "And you're not even Jess."

"Funny" said Becker.

"You are keeping pretty close to each other," said Bernie. "Miss Parker hasn't even asked me about another world cuisine theme night."

Jess smiled. "That's right! We haven't had one in ages," she said. "What do you think, honey?"

Connor smirked, and repeated, "honey."

"I think it's a lot of work for Bernie and the kitchen crew," said Becker, "and for you. You always have to decorate, sometimes hire entertainment, and plan a special outfit for yourself."

She looked at him. "You like my outfits."

He smiled. "I love your outfits," he whispered in her ear. Connor made gagging sounds. "Make sure its short."

She giggled. "OK, Bernie," she said, getting up. "Let's talk world cuisine. Ooh, I know what we should do," she said, looking at Becker. "Paris is the city of love, so let's do France."

Bernie smiled. "Magnifique et je pense que tu es toujours tres jolie."

Jess smiled. "Huh?"

Bernie chuckled. "I said, that I think you are always very pretty."

"Ah, Bernie, thank you." She gasped. "I have to buy a Parisian gown!"

"For dinner in the canteen, Jess?" asked Abby.

"Right, never mind," said Jess, sadly.

Connor smirked, "You could dress like they did in Moulin Rouge."

"I'll kill everybody in the canteen," said Becker.

"You've seen Moulin Rouge?" asked Abby.

Becker turned red. "No comment."

"He loved it!" cried Jess. "I swear he cried when Nicole Kidman died."

"I did not! I told you it was hay fever!"

Everyone in earshot laughed. "You're a dead woman, honey," said Becker, sinisterly, but with a sexy smirk.

Jess colored. "Can't wait. Actually, I have an idea, that's similar. I could get a can-can outfit."

Becker adopted a funny smirk. "I...think it has possibilities."

"And you could do the can-can, Abby and Emily can join you!" cried Connor.

"Not going to happen," said Abby, "and I'm pretty sure Emily would hurt you if you suggested it."

Becker's smirk got wider. "I'm liking this idea, but isn't that what they wore in Moulin Rouge, anyway?"

"You did like that movie!" cried Jess.

"I did not!"

Connor laughed. "Can-can girls were dancers, right? And the girls in Moulin Rouge were...more."

Jess giggled. "Yes, they were more. I'm just dancing. Promise."

"I know, and I'm fine with it," said Becker.

"Really?" asked Abby. "What about all the other men who'll see her dance?"

"Oh, they'll all be dead, well entertained, but dead.."

"Or at least blasted with EMDs," said Connor, as Becker nodded. "Jess, you should do the can-can."

"I agree with Connor," said Becker.

"Yes, I should," said Jess. "It's agreed."

Becker smiled, and kissed her head. "I can't wait. Right after lunch I'm going to recharge all the EMDs and make sure I have several handy on French night."

"Le soir Francais," said Bernie.

"Huh?" asked Jess.

"Let's talk menu," said Connor. "French toast and French fries don't really go together."

"They aren't really French, Connor," said Abby.

"Pay attention, Bernie," said Jess. "We must have chocolate truffles, and lots of them."

"I could do an exquisite chocolate mouse as well, and perhaps an authentic la glace."

Jess frowned. "I want to eat French, not speak it. I can't understand you."

Bernie chuckled. "I apologize. Glace is French ice cream."

Jess squealed.

"Ow, I've asked you to warn me before you do that," said Becker.

"Sorry," she said, kissing his ear.

"Never mind," he said with a wide grin.

"France has lots of bubbly, doesn't it?" asked Jess.

"Bubbly? Why are talking about alcohol, Miss Parker, and where is it?" asked Lester, looking behind the counter.

"Where did you come from?" asked Abby.

"You know Lester, you mention booze and he pops up," said Connor.

"We were discussing French Night,' said Jess.

"Ooh...la...la," said Lester. "I like that idea. We need Bordeaux, Burgundy, Merlot, Sauvignon and of course Champagne. Get on it Rice, Parker."

"Yes, sir," said Chef Bernard Rice. "I'll handle the wines Miss Parker. You can concentrate on the decorations."

"Yay!" Jess was very excited. "We need lots of grapevines, and empty wine bottles, maybe some old rustic carts and bushels. I'll have maintenance work up a mini Eiffel Tour and Arc de Triumph."

"I thought you didn't speak French?" asked Bernie, with a wink.

"This is going to be smashing!" cried Jess.

Becker smiled. "Let's talk about your outfit."

"Oh, yes! It's got to be short and sexy..."

"Yeah," said Becker, smirking, "and I get to preview it, a lot."

Jess giggled. "You can come shopping with me."

Becker groaned. "Never mind, I trust you."

Abby and Jess talked about shopping and fashion. The boys left, quickly.

Jess giggled. "That was easy. Just threaten him with shopping."

Abby laughed. "Works every time."

End of Part One